Is Home Really Where The Heart Is?, chapter 8
I woke up the next morning (feeling fine! ) and I was tired, so I went back to sleep. But my mom woke me up again., meh... This time I actually got ready. Once I was ready, I walked out and noticed that Sydney was directly in front of my house for some odd reason. She looked kind of sad, but yet demented at the same time.
"Why are you-" I was cut off by her
"I knew it was you! I live across the street! I saw you guys moving in, that's why I knew you at school!" she said jumping around as she flapped her arms about. I live across the street?! Oh great...
"Sydney, are you a stalker?"
"Uhh... It's SYD!" she yelled in my face to try and avoid my question.
"Well, are you? And if you saw us moving in, why didn't you show some common new-neighbor courtesy and help us unpack?!"
"It was fun watching you try and fit big boxes through small openings. Plus I avoid manual labor at all costs." By now she was already distracted and began chewing the dirt out from under her one finger nail. I wonder why only one out of ten fingers were dirty?
"You're an evil person you know that right?"
"But I'm your evil person! HUGS!" she opened her arms and hugged me. No matter how much I tried to get loose, it didn't work. Obviously she didn't manage to find out that I was afraid of close contact such as this from the same sex... And sometimes the opposite sex. I end up with a disturbed feeling inside of me. In other words, I'm hug-a-phobic. I made it up. But then she stopped suddenly and pulled away with huge eyes.
"No wonder why she thinks I'm gay! She's probably watching me now!" She turned around to face her house and I just barely saw her mom quickly maneuver out of sight.
"MOM! I'M NOT GAY! I SWEAR!" she screamed as she ran across the street. This brought a few people walking their dogs to a halt and a few neighbors out of their houses. She also nearly got hit by an old man, luckily he was going about 20 below the speed limit so it didn't do anything. She continued to knock on the door then just opened it and went it. I heard shouting... Mostly from Syd, as she likes to be called. It went something like this:
"I told you I'm not gay!"
Pause
"No, she's our new neighbor!"
Pause
"Fine! I'll prove it, I'll bring my... My... Boyfriend home! Yeah that's right my BOY friend! As in my boy friend who's a BOY!"
Pause
"I needed my purse!"
Pause
"It's in my backpack... "
Pause
"I was planning on coming back!"
Pause
"I was!"
Pause
"Fine I'll see you later then, with my BOY friend... Who's a BOY!"
I saw her run out of her house with nothing in her hands.
"Weren't you going to get you purse or backpack or something?" I questioned her. She looked around at herself.
"DANG-IT!" she went back inside and I heard yelling again.
"I needed my backpack!"
Pause
"Fine then, be that way!" and she returned to me on the sidewalk.
"Hey Syd... " I looked at her.
"Yeah?"
"You don't have a boyfriend do you?"
"You wanna help me find one?"
"No, just ask Ed or someone."
"Yeah! Ed's nice and will make a great fake boyfriend! You're a genius!" And she hugged me again.
"Umm, Syd?"
"Yeah? Oh right." and she let go and we began walking to school.
When I got to school, I went to my new locker and began looking for Syd. It wasn't that hard considering I could hear her voice from across the school practically.
"What do you mean you won't be my fake boyfriend?! I thought you liked me Ed!" Oh boy...
"I never said that! Besides why should I?! You always ignore me and push my head into brownie mix!"
"You were asking for it! And I don't always ignore you! Remember that one time when you... Umm... "
"Go on... " he was just testing her now... I could tell.
"I'm talking to you now!"
"Yeah, because you need my help!"
"So?! I let you eat at George don't I?! You should be honored I'm asking you!"
"I named George! And the last time I came over I had to eat organic chips with a tofu sandwich!"
"That was in 3rd grade!"
"It still happened... And it traumatized me!"
"Oh and getting three swirls by populars because you stuck your head in batter isn't?"
"You pushed my head in there! So no! I refuse to go to your house again!"
"Please?!"
"Go Away!" at this point I finally walked up to them to see if they'd notice me... They didn't
"This is my locker Ed!"
"No it's not... It's my locker! See," he pulled out a sheet that had his name and schedule on it along with a locker number. Sure enough, it was his.
"Ok, but why did you steal my shoes and put them in your locker? Do you have a secret obsession with me or my shoes? Or even shoes in general?"
"NO! They are my shoes! My name is written on the tongue!" He took out the sneakers and looked at the tongue. They had the words 'SYD-MISER' written on them.
"Crap." he looked down to the floor.
"HA! Now give me my shoes! And since I won the 'battle' you must come over my house and pretend to be my boyfriend!"
"Never!"
"Fine! I'm to good for you anyway!" she turned and walked away to where I assumed her locker was. Ed noticed me there but didn't say anything.
"Ed? Is her house really that bad?"
"No, just her mom. She's like a health-nut... It's a scary thing. I warn you, if you are invited over her house... Run... Fast... And don't look back!"
"Ed?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think Mike would go to her house? She needs someone over there."
"Why don't you go?"
"Neit! That'd make it worse, unless I could get someone to go with me, like Billie Joe." I gave an evil smile.
"That's great! You could all be tortured by her food! But if the band gets sick, I blame you. Wait, did you say 'neit'? What's that mean?"
"It's 'no' in Russian. I tend to blurt out random Russian phrases sometimes. I'll go tell her then convince Mike and Billie Joe to come." Before I could move I felt a hand around my wrist yet again and a familiar voice saying
"Come Carl, we don't associate with the enemy! Wait!" she stopped in her tracks and turned to me with a demonic smile on.
"Yes?" I asked
"Can I give you something?"
"I smell a nickname for some reason... " I said sniffing the air.
"And it smells like peaches right CARL?"
"Carl? That's the best you could do?"
"It's either that or Betsy."
"I'll take Carl, but why Betsy?"
"I like cows."
"Ok."
She's beginning to scare me
"Why are you-" I was cut off by her
"I knew it was you! I live across the street! I saw you guys moving in, that's why I knew you at school!" she said jumping around as she flapped her arms about. I live across the street?! Oh great...
"Sydney, are you a stalker?"
"Uhh... It's SYD!" she yelled in my face to try and avoid my question.
"Well, are you? And if you saw us moving in, why didn't you show some common new-neighbor courtesy and help us unpack?!"
"It was fun watching you try and fit big boxes through small openings. Plus I avoid manual labor at all costs." By now she was already distracted and began chewing the dirt out from under her one finger nail. I wonder why only one out of ten fingers were dirty?
"You're an evil person you know that right?"
"But I'm your evil person! HUGS!" she opened her arms and hugged me. No matter how much I tried to get loose, it didn't work. Obviously she didn't manage to find out that I was afraid of close contact such as this from the same sex... And sometimes the opposite sex. I end up with a disturbed feeling inside of me. In other words, I'm hug-a-phobic. I made it up. But then she stopped suddenly and pulled away with huge eyes.
"No wonder why she thinks I'm gay! She's probably watching me now!" She turned around to face her house and I just barely saw her mom quickly maneuver out of sight.
"MOM! I'M NOT GAY! I SWEAR!" she screamed as she ran across the street. This brought a few people walking their dogs to a halt and a few neighbors out of their houses. She also nearly got hit by an old man, luckily he was going about 20 below the speed limit so it didn't do anything. She continued to knock on the door then just opened it and went it. I heard shouting... Mostly from Syd, as she likes to be called. It went something like this:
"I told you I'm not gay!"
Pause
"No, she's our new neighbor!"
Pause
"Fine! I'll prove it, I'll bring my... My... Boyfriend home! Yeah that's right my BOY friend! As in my boy friend who's a BOY!"
Pause
"I needed my purse!"
Pause
"It's in my backpack... "
Pause
"I was planning on coming back!"
Pause
"I was!"
Pause
"Fine I'll see you later then, with my BOY friend... Who's a BOY!"
I saw her run out of her house with nothing in her hands.
"Weren't you going to get you purse or backpack or something?" I questioned her. She looked around at herself.
"DANG-IT!" she went back inside and I heard yelling again.
"I needed my backpack!"
Pause
"Fine then, be that way!" and she returned to me on the sidewalk.
"Hey Syd... " I looked at her.
"Yeah?"
"You don't have a boyfriend do you?"
"You wanna help me find one?"
"No, just ask Ed or someone."
"Yeah! Ed's nice and will make a great fake boyfriend! You're a genius!" And she hugged me again.
"Umm, Syd?"
"Yeah? Oh right." and she let go and we began walking to school.
When I got to school, I went to my new locker and began looking for Syd. It wasn't that hard considering I could hear her voice from across the school practically.
"What do you mean you won't be my fake boyfriend?! I thought you liked me Ed!" Oh boy...
"I never said that! Besides why should I?! You always ignore me and push my head into brownie mix!"
"You were asking for it! And I don't always ignore you! Remember that one time when you... Umm... "
"Go on... " he was just testing her now... I could tell.
"I'm talking to you now!"
"Yeah, because you need my help!"
"So?! I let you eat at George don't I?! You should be honored I'm asking you!"
"I named George! And the last time I came over I had to eat organic chips with a tofu sandwich!"
"That was in 3rd grade!"
"It still happened... And it traumatized me!"
"Oh and getting three swirls by populars because you stuck your head in batter isn't?"
"You pushed my head in there! So no! I refuse to go to your house again!"
"Please?!"
"Go Away!" at this point I finally walked up to them to see if they'd notice me... They didn't
"This is my locker Ed!"
"No it's not... It's my locker! See," he pulled out a sheet that had his name and schedule on it along with a locker number. Sure enough, it was his.
"Ok, but why did you steal my shoes and put them in your locker? Do you have a secret obsession with me or my shoes? Or even shoes in general?"
"NO! They are my shoes! My name is written on the tongue!" He took out the sneakers and looked at the tongue. They had the words 'SYD-MISER' written on them.
"Crap." he looked down to the floor.
"HA! Now give me my shoes! And since I won the 'battle' you must come over my house and pretend to be my boyfriend!"
"Never!"
"Fine! I'm to good for you anyway!" she turned and walked away to where I assumed her locker was. Ed noticed me there but didn't say anything.
"Ed? Is her house really that bad?"
"No, just her mom. She's like a health-nut... It's a scary thing. I warn you, if you are invited over her house... Run... Fast... And don't look back!"
"Ed?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think Mike would go to her house? She needs someone over there."
"Why don't you go?"
"Neit! That'd make it worse, unless I could get someone to go with me, like Billie Joe." I gave an evil smile.
"That's great! You could all be tortured by her food! But if the band gets sick, I blame you. Wait, did you say 'neit'? What's that mean?"
"It's 'no' in Russian. I tend to blurt out random Russian phrases sometimes. I'll go tell her then convince Mike and Billie Joe to come." Before I could move I felt a hand around my wrist yet again and a familiar voice saying
"Come Carl, we don't associate with the enemy! Wait!" she stopped in her tracks and turned to me with a demonic smile on.
"Yes?" I asked
"Can I give you something?"
"I smell a nickname for some reason... " I said sniffing the air.
"And it smells like peaches right CARL?"
"Carl? That's the best you could do?"
"It's either that or Betsy."
"I'll take Carl, but why Betsy?"
"I like cows."
"Ok."
She's beginning to scare me
