Is Home Really Where The Heart Is?, chapter 9
"Did you know that when it rains, the kangaroos come out in Pennsylvania?" I told Syd as we were walking home.
"Really?! There's rain in Pennsylvania?!" oh boy...
"Yeah! And kangaroos!"
"Really?"
"No."
"You're mean, getting me all excited and whatnot over nothing."
"Do you think Billie Joe and Mike will actually show up?"
"No, but don't change the subject. Just because I have a slight case of ADD doesn't mean I don't pick up on it in conversations...now back to the kangaroos. Oh look, a nickel. Kangaroos?" We turned down a street that I had never been down before.
"Where are we going?"
"It's a shortcut, now focus! Kangaroos are coming out of the rain in Pennsylvania, remember?!" I went into a fit of hysterical laughter and could not stop.
"Mind letting me in on the joke?" she asked
"I thought you said 'caterers' not 'kangaroos'!" I laughed even more.
"Oh yes, 'The caterers are coming out of the rain! The caterers are coming!' Be afraid for they will hurt us with their evil tongs and fancy spinach dip!"
"Like Paul Revere!" I yelled. "Wait what are those light-y things they put under the trays?"
"Oh, the Bunsen burner things?
"You know what I'm talking about...one if by car, two if by van!"
"Are those what they put under those foil tray things at a party?"
"Yes..." Didn't I just say that?
"Oh ok then."
We continued to laugh like a pair of mentally challenged hyenas and walk to our houses. Eventually we came out of an alleyway right near her house. When I turned the corner, I nearly had a heart attack seeing as Billie Joe and Mike were intently staring at the alleyway we came from. Why I don't know, but they were.
"How'd you know about my short cut?! I mean only I know about it! Carl doesn't even know the short cut!" Syd began to flip out on them for being there before her.
"Syd? You just took me on the 'short cut', so I do know where it is."
"Carl? Whatever. Oh and that's not a short cut, you told me you go that way home anyway." Mike informed her.
"Dang it!" We all walked to Syd's house. Although after talking to Ed, I was concerned for our safety. And if Syd's mom is like I imagine her, it explains a lot about Syd. We walked on the porch and started talking for some odd reason.
"Mike, you're my boyfriend today...act nice!" she yelled at him.
"Ok, but why are we doing this again?" Billie Joe asked.
"Because my mom accused me of being gay this morning."
"Again?" Billie Joe said and went over to the door.
"Yes... " she replied sadly. Then Billie Joe opened the door.
"BILLIE NOOO! DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!" Syd shouted. Billie Joe walked through the door and instantly vanished. Wait. He vanished?! What the heck?! Me and Syd walked through the door and were tackled from the side by what I assumed to be her brothers. Note the 's'...as in more than one!
"AH!" I yelled as I was brought to the ground forcefully. We tried to warn Mike not to come through the door and to save himself, but it didn't work he walked through the door...Darn you Mike for not listening!
"What was so bad about walking through the door?" he asked. Then he looked down to see a little person pushing on his legs, obviously trying to bring him to the ground too, luckily for him he was tall and wasn't knocked over. As for me, Syd, and Billie Joe, we're shorter so we were easily defeated.
"You don't notice the pocket-sized person trying to knock you over and us being tackled by little people too?" I asked
"No, not really." He stepped over us without offering to help us up. Billie got up and helped the two of us up. Except he dropped me and it hurt, more.
"DAVID! JOSEPH! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TACKLE RANDOM PEOPLE WALKING THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR! Only the side door." she screamed at the two boys, whom I'm guessing were David and Joseph.
"But we don't have a side door, duh!" the littler one yelled.
"Exactly." she said.
"I don't get it." the same one said, looking up at her with a confused face.
"Just go torture Ben and Jerry," she told them.
"But they didn't get back yet," the taller one said. I need their names, so I shall interrupt.
"What are their names?" I asked.
"David and Joseph."
"I kind of figured, but who's who? I need to know!"
"The one with the hands is David, the one with eyes is Joseph. Duh."
"Oh boy," I mumbled to myself. She's not helping at all... I'll have to ask them myself.
"Who are you guys?" I asked.
"I'm Joseph! I'm 5! Weeee!!" the smaller one yelled then began running around the room with his arms out.
"So you're David?" I looked at the other one.
"No that's Davey you ree!" Syd told me. 'Ree'...I wonder if that means retard?...'Tis possible...
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" he yelled then tackled Syd again.
"MEH!" she yelled out in pain. Me, Billie Joe, and Mike just stood there staring.
"This explains a lot." I whispered to Billie Joe.
"Yeah, and you haven't even met Ben and Jerry yet," Mike whispered.
"I have to meet their ice cream?" I said a little louder than intended.
"No, they're my brothers," Syd said.
"I thought they were David and Joseph..." Now I'm confused.
"No...They're my older brothers."
"There's more of them?!" I yelled out.
"Yes, they're twins." That's when I was hugged from behind.
"You must be Carlie! I'm so happy to meet you!" some strange woman said from behind my back.
"Ummm...yes." Who are you people!? And where do you keep coming from?! She let go and turned me around.
"Oh Sydey-poo, she's gorgeous. She's seems nice...I approve!"
"MOM! I TOLD YOU...I'M NOT GAY!"
"Obviously you didn't tell anyone I'm practically Hug-a-phobic..." I said once her mom was done.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry. Sydey-poo, why didn't you tell me?!" she asked Syd.
"Ok mom, one, I didn't know she doesn't like being hugged; two, I'm NOT gay; and three, this is Mike, my BOY friend!" Syd yelled. She does a lot of yelling.
"Oh well he's...umm...tall." Her mom seemed speechless.
"Uhh...hi?" Mike said holding his hand out. Her mom ignored it and began looking at Mike.
"He's too tall for you Sydey-poo, it'll never work."
"It's only a foot difference!"
Mike, Billie Joe, and I slowly backed out of the front room, leaving them there, and walked into the living room.
"Mike? Mike?! Where'd you go?!" she shouted some more.
The rest of the evening was kind of crazy. I met Ben and Jerry, who really were her twin brothers, not just a bucket of ice cream. Her mom still wasn't convinced that she wasn't gay. Oh, and Jerry was gay. There's something definitely up with this house. Twins, one gay, one not; a girl in the middle claiming to be straight to her mom; two younger brothers who constantly tackled people; her mom, who's convinced her daughter's gay and is a health freak; and no dad, that I know of at least.
I could see why her mom is like she is.... The same goes for Syd.
"Really?! There's rain in Pennsylvania?!" oh boy...
"Yeah! And kangaroos!"
"Really?"
"No."
"You're mean, getting me all excited and whatnot over nothing."
"Do you think Billie Joe and Mike will actually show up?"
"No, but don't change the subject. Just because I have a slight case of ADD doesn't mean I don't pick up on it in conversations...now back to the kangaroos. Oh look, a nickel. Kangaroos?" We turned down a street that I had never been down before.
"Where are we going?"
"It's a shortcut, now focus! Kangaroos are coming out of the rain in Pennsylvania, remember?!" I went into a fit of hysterical laughter and could not stop.
"Mind letting me in on the joke?" she asked
"I thought you said 'caterers' not 'kangaroos'!" I laughed even more.
"Oh yes, 'The caterers are coming out of the rain! The caterers are coming!' Be afraid for they will hurt us with their evil tongs and fancy spinach dip!"
"Like Paul Revere!" I yelled. "Wait what are those light-y things they put under the trays?"
"Oh, the Bunsen burner things?
"You know what I'm talking about...one if by car, two if by van!"
"Are those what they put under those foil tray things at a party?"
"Yes..." Didn't I just say that?
"Oh ok then."
We continued to laugh like a pair of mentally challenged hyenas and walk to our houses. Eventually we came out of an alleyway right near her house. When I turned the corner, I nearly had a heart attack seeing as Billie Joe and Mike were intently staring at the alleyway we came from. Why I don't know, but they were.
"How'd you know about my short cut?! I mean only I know about it! Carl doesn't even know the short cut!" Syd began to flip out on them for being there before her.
"Syd? You just took me on the 'short cut', so I do know where it is."
"Carl? Whatever. Oh and that's not a short cut, you told me you go that way home anyway." Mike informed her.
"Dang it!" We all walked to Syd's house. Although after talking to Ed, I was concerned for our safety. And if Syd's mom is like I imagine her, it explains a lot about Syd. We walked on the porch and started talking for some odd reason.
"Mike, you're my boyfriend today...act nice!" she yelled at him.
"Ok, but why are we doing this again?" Billie Joe asked.
"Because my mom accused me of being gay this morning."
"Again?" Billie Joe said and went over to the door.
"Yes... " she replied sadly. Then Billie Joe opened the door.
"BILLIE NOOO! DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!" Syd shouted. Billie Joe walked through the door and instantly vanished. Wait. He vanished?! What the heck?! Me and Syd walked through the door and were tackled from the side by what I assumed to be her brothers. Note the 's'...as in more than one!
"AH!" I yelled as I was brought to the ground forcefully. We tried to warn Mike not to come through the door and to save himself, but it didn't work he walked through the door...Darn you Mike for not listening!
"What was so bad about walking through the door?" he asked. Then he looked down to see a little person pushing on his legs, obviously trying to bring him to the ground too, luckily for him he was tall and wasn't knocked over. As for me, Syd, and Billie Joe, we're shorter so we were easily defeated.
"You don't notice the pocket-sized person trying to knock you over and us being tackled by little people too?" I asked
"No, not really." He stepped over us without offering to help us up. Billie got up and helped the two of us up. Except he dropped me and it hurt, more.
"DAVID! JOSEPH! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TACKLE RANDOM PEOPLE WALKING THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR! Only the side door." she screamed at the two boys, whom I'm guessing were David and Joseph.
"But we don't have a side door, duh!" the littler one yelled.
"Exactly." she said.
"I don't get it." the same one said, looking up at her with a confused face.
"Just go torture Ben and Jerry," she told them.
"But they didn't get back yet," the taller one said. I need their names, so I shall interrupt.
"What are their names?" I asked.
"David and Joseph."
"I kind of figured, but who's who? I need to know!"
"The one with the hands is David, the one with eyes is Joseph. Duh."
"Oh boy," I mumbled to myself. She's not helping at all... I'll have to ask them myself.
"Who are you guys?" I asked.
"I'm Joseph! I'm 5! Weeee!!" the smaller one yelled then began running around the room with his arms out.
"So you're David?" I looked at the other one.
"No that's Davey you ree!" Syd told me. 'Ree'...I wonder if that means retard?...'Tis possible...
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" he yelled then tackled Syd again.
"MEH!" she yelled out in pain. Me, Billie Joe, and Mike just stood there staring.
"This explains a lot." I whispered to Billie Joe.
"Yeah, and you haven't even met Ben and Jerry yet," Mike whispered.
"I have to meet their ice cream?" I said a little louder than intended.
"No, they're my brothers," Syd said.
"I thought they were David and Joseph..." Now I'm confused.
"No...They're my older brothers."
"There's more of them?!" I yelled out.
"Yes, they're twins." That's when I was hugged from behind.
"You must be Carlie! I'm so happy to meet you!" some strange woman said from behind my back.
"Ummm...yes." Who are you people!? And where do you keep coming from?! She let go and turned me around.
"Oh Sydey-poo, she's gorgeous. She's seems nice...I approve!"
"MOM! I TOLD YOU...I'M NOT GAY!"
"Obviously you didn't tell anyone I'm practically Hug-a-phobic..." I said once her mom was done.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry. Sydey-poo, why didn't you tell me?!" she asked Syd.
"Ok mom, one, I didn't know she doesn't like being hugged; two, I'm NOT gay; and three, this is Mike, my BOY friend!" Syd yelled. She does a lot of yelling.
"Oh well he's...umm...tall." Her mom seemed speechless.
"Uhh...hi?" Mike said holding his hand out. Her mom ignored it and began looking at Mike.
"He's too tall for you Sydey-poo, it'll never work."
"It's only a foot difference!"
Mike, Billie Joe, and I slowly backed out of the front room, leaving them there, and walked into the living room.
"Mike? Mike?! Where'd you go?!" she shouted some more.
The rest of the evening was kind of crazy. I met Ben and Jerry, who really were her twin brothers, not just a bucket of ice cream. Her mom still wasn't convinced that she wasn't gay. Oh, and Jerry was gay. There's something definitely up with this house. Twins, one gay, one not; a girl in the middle claiming to be straight to her mom; two younger brothers who constantly tackled people; her mom, who's convinced her daughter's gay and is a health freak; and no dad, that I know of at least.
I could see why her mom is like she is.... The same goes for Syd.
