This feeling never leaves me, chapter 3

We started off our conversation about how the Ramones were the coming to Cali in a few months and I found out that Mike and Billie Joe lived on the street behind mine.
"Soo, your mom?" I asked.
"Yea, My mom moved away from here because she couldn't afford to live in the Bay Area anymore and she let me stay with Billie." Mike said.
"Oh, I'm sorry." I said in sympathy.
"Oh no, it's ok. I talk to her all the time and see her every now and then." He said with a reassuring smile.
"Oh." I said, feeling like an idiot, I felt my cheeks getting warm.
"So, when did you guys move to here?" asked Billie Joe.
"Um, about 2 days ago, we got here on friday." Missy said.
"Yea" I added.

We stayed silent for about a minute. Then I said,
"Is it always this warm in Cali?"
Mike and Billie Joe just laughed as Mike said,
"Yaa, just about."
"I'm such an idiot! I brought all my hoodies for nothing. Damn" I cursed myself.
"Yea, me too." Said Missy.

We walked for about 10 blocks more when we got to Missy's street.
Missy asked "Umm, I'll come over in a minute ok Harmony?"
"Ok" I said as I saw her run down her street in her own funny way.
"Better hurry your ass up!" I said as we started to walk again. We reached the end of my street.
"Thank you guys. You don't know how relieved I am."
"No problem" Billie spoke.
"See you guys tommrow." I said as I waved and started down my street.

I looked back to get one last glance at them. I saw they were talking as they were walking over to their street. As I approached the house I noticed my sister wasn't there. 'That's weird. ' I thought. I decided to let it slip. I approached the door, put the key in and turned. As the door swung open I smelled the usual smell of packing dust and old coins. I don't know why it smelled like that, it just did. So, anyways, I ran downstairs to my room and threw my bag in the corner. I looked around and cleaned a little bit. Just as I was picking up a cassete that was on the floor I heard the doorbell ring. I scanned the cassete and it was the one of my dad's old band, the thought made my chest tighten but I forced it back. 'Don't, you promised you wouldn't' I thought to myself. I reluctantly put the cassete down on my dresser and ran to the door. I saw Missy's head through the window in the door. She was looking in and making funny faces. I laughed and opened the door.

"Hey" she said.
"Are you ok? You seem to be down" always like Missy, to go straight to the point.
"Yes" I said after she turned and shut the door.
"Look, I know you're going through a very bad time, but please, try and be happy." she said with concern.
"I'm fine." I said with emphasis on the word 'fine'.
After an awkward silence I asked, "So what do you want to do?"
"I don't know." she said.
"You never know!" I said smiling.
"So?" she said with the same smile.
"Wanna go listen to music?" I asked.
"Ok" she said as we went to my room.

I put the viynl on the player and heard the familier tune of "Cretian Hop" come from the speaker. Rocket To Russia must have been one of my favorite Ramones albums.
"Soo, do you like it here?" Missy asked me.
"It's ok. We've always wanted to move hear soo I like it. But it still isn't the same as home." I said.
"Yea" She said with a far away look in her eyes.
"I'm glad we aren't the only misfits in school too." I said.
"Yea" she said agreeing with me.
"Missy? Are you mad at me or somethin'?" I asked.
To me, she seemed really distant about something.
"What? No. I'm not angry at you. Just thinking." she said.
"Wow, you, my Missy, actually think?" I jokingly said. She gave ma a 'I'm not joking' look.
So I just asked "'Bout what?"
"Stuff." was her reply.

That's Missy for you. She really outgoing to people, but she never tells you what was wrong with her, or let you know if there was somthing she doesn't like. She is a very independent person and it's hard to get in her head. I love her like a sister, and she always felt like one to me. I'm the only one she will open up to, if even. And I always admired that, and I try not to take it for granted. I just hope that nothing will ever tear us apart, ever. She's my life line, my reason for why I still breathe, even if it hurts to. She keeps me going, I just hope she knows that.

*One week later*

"*beep*... *beep*... *beep*... *bee-"
"Shut up" I grunted into my pillow as I slammed my hand on my alarm clock. I slowly lifted my head from my drool stained pillow, my eyes feeling dry and blurry, and my whole body aching with tired.
"I am definitely not a morning person." I said to myself. Sluggishly sitting up in bed I put my feet over the edge. I yawned and stretched, as I slowly awoke. For some reason I woke up that day in a dreading mood. 'Today', I thought, 'something is going to happen'. I could feel it in my heart, that same feeling I've had since... Well... Since awhile. Anyways I got up and got ready for school. Today I choose to wear my Black Sabbath shirt with a spiked leather bracelet, some saftey pins in my jeans, and of course a pair of black converse. I loved my style because not a lot of people looked like me. I always liked to be different, not be like a mindless machine that the media thinks that they can mold into whatever they want me too be.


I went to the kitchan where I decided to have cereal for breakfast, when I noticed that we were running low on food. I wondered why my sister hadn't bought more, but I let it slip my mind when I put the first spoonful of cereal in my mouth. I munched on it while I thought. I wondered what Chace was doing right now, I wondered if he missed me, if he even gave me any thought anymore. I hadn't talked to him scince I had moved a week before. I wondered if my band had replaced me and Missy yet. God did I miss him. He is like a brother too me. But I can't dwell on him too long or I'll start to feel sad and depressed. Soo I just sat there and ate my now soggy cereal.

As I exited the house, I noticed that the sun was shining and it was a beautiful day but the sun and sight could not keep me from the anxiety that filled my chest as I walked over to Missy's. 'Stop worrying' I said to myself. But I knew it wouldn't work. When I worry, there is no letting up.

When I saw Missy walk up to me the first thing I said to her was, "Don't get offended if I snap at you or am just not myself today ok? Please don't get mad."
"Why? Is it 'that time'?" she said using quotation fingers.
"No, its not 'that time'" I said mimicking her.
"I just feel worried about something, I feel like something is going to happen today." I said.
"Oh, ok" she said as we walked.

We were aimlessly talking when we approached the school and saw what looked like a huge crowd of people all in a circle. 'Oh shit' I thought as I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Did you just say oh shit?" Missy asked me.
"No, but I was thinking it loud and clear."

Then I don't know what came over me, but I took off running toward the crowd of people. Only one thing was on my mind, 'Billie and Mike are in trouble'.