Life Changes, chapter 10

I turned the engine off. I watched the keys dangle in the moonlight. I sighed and took them out the ignition. I walked as slow as I could up the steps to the front door. Mom was home.

She was sitting at the counter smoking and flipping through the bills. She looked up as she heard the door shut. I went to the fridge and grabbed a beer. She didn't care if I drank. She didn't care what I did. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked.
"At the hospital. With Billie."
"Where's Stan?" she asked, completely ignoring the fact that I said I was just at the hospital.
"In jail," I said, "And I hope right now he's getting boned in the ass by some guy named Beth."

She got up and pulled my hair. I slapped her hand away. "Don't you ever touch me!" I screamed at her.
"Don't you ever say something like that!" she said, mocking me, "Why would he be in jail anyway?"
"Because, Ma," I said, holding the tears back, "Because... he... shot Billie."
She stood back, dumbstruck. "Stan... did that?" she said.
"Yes, Mom. He did. And he could have killed him! You married a fucking drunk, Mom! A drunk who beats and rapes me! You don't do anything about it, either! You don't do anything, Ma! You don't make life any easier for me!" I was crying now. She tried to hug me but I pushed her away and ran to my room.

I locked the door behind me and ran to the bureau. I felt through the droor and grabbed the cold, smooth handle. I pulled it out to look at it. "Ah," I said, "We meet again, old friend." I looked at my reflection in the blade. I let it run down my arm and watched the blood trickle to the floor. I grimaced at the feeling. It felt good.

I ran to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabnet to grab the long band-aid. Though I was going to take pills and kill myself, didn't you? I bandaged it up and put my Ramones hoodie back on to cover it up.

I walked into the living room and flipped on the T.V. I didn't feel like watching it, though. There was nothing on, anyway. Just "I Love Lucy" reruns. Mom walked in and sat next to me. "Honey-" she started to say, but stopped her.
Shut up," I snapped, "If I were you, I'd keep my mouth shut. I don't need your shit right now." She tried to slap me, but, I blocked her. "You see, Mom?! This is the kind of shit I'm talking about!" I screamed. I always fight with her, but, never like this.

I walked to the bathroom and shut the door. I sat in the tub and cried. Why the hell is my life so hard? Why can't I have a normal life? Like the one's I see on T.V? No one has a family like that. Name one person. No one has a rich foster dad like you see on "Different Strokes." No one has a dad who doesn't yell at you like on "The Cosby Show." No one has a mom who's really understanding like on "Good Times." It's all a load of shit. Take my advice kids, don't listen to what they tell you on the little screen. It's all lies. Flip on the news sometime. That's the real world. That's where the truth is.

There was a knock on the door. "Leave me the fuck alone, Mom!"
"Is that really any way to speak to someone?" It wasn't mom. I flung the door open and ran into my brother's arms.
"Izzy!" I yelled.
I stepped back, "How'd you get past Mom?"
"She's not here," he said, "She went to try and get Stan out of jail. She left a note."
"To break out Stan?! After all I told her?!"
"What did you tell her?"
"How he rapes and beats me."
"He does what?!"
"Yep."
"No one does that to my little sister and gets away with it."
"Alright, Captain America. Why are you here?"
"To stay here."
"You can't."
"Who says? I don't have a restraining order."
I smiled at him.
"But, I have to leave tommorrow."
My smile dropped.
"Oh."
"I'm sorry, Chass. My band needs me."
"Right."
"I'll make it up to you, though. Dinner this Saturday. Anywhere."
"How about the Gilman?"
"You got it."
I hugged him. I love my brother so much. He's sort of like that uncle that's always there for you, you know, now that he's got "the beard".

He bunked in my room. I couldn't sleep, though. What if Mom comes home and finds him here? What if she manages to get Stan out? What'll happen to me? What'll happen to Izzy?

I heard a car pull up. Oh no. She's home. I really hope she didn't get Stan out. I heard her come in and walk to her room. I didn't hear any footsteps behind her. Hopefully, I was safe.