Life Changes, chapter 11
I woke up the next morning to a crash behind me. It was pretty early. Probably like five. The sun wasn't even rising yet.
I turned over. "Izzy!" I yelled," What are you doing?!" "Shh!" he whispered putting a finger to his mouth," You don't want 'Momster' to hear me, do you?" "Sorry," I whispered. I pushed the blanket back and stood up. He was crawling out the window. "Where are you going?" I asked. "I told you," he said," I have to leave today."
"Oh. Right."
"I'm sorry, Chass."
"Sure you are."
"Don't be mad."
"Who said I was mad?"
"You sound like you are."
"Well I'm not!"
There was a pause. He tried to make eye contact with me, but I wouldn't let him. I stared down at my feet. I glanced up. That was a mistake. The tears were welling up again. I bit my lip. I hate crying in front of my brother. It makes me feel stupid. I couldn't help it, though. I really don't want him to go.
I started crying. I tried to wipe the tears away but it was too late. "Don't cry, Chassy," Izzy said sympathetically. "Shut up," I said," I need your help. You won't help."
"What do you want me to do?"
I paused and thought a minute.
"Take me on the road with you."
"I can't do that, Chassy."
"Why not?"
"Because."
"That's not an answer. Take me with you!"
"I can't!"
"Why not?!"
"Because-"
"Because what?!"
I couldn't believe what I was doing. I was... Fighting with my brother. I've never done that before.
He took a deep breath. It didn't matter what he said. I was still mad. "I can't take you because Mom'll-"he began. "Mom'll what?!" I interrupted," She's never given a shit about me! It's not like she'll have a huge search party out looking for me!"
"You're right."
"Like hell I am."
I was still crying. He slung his duffle bag over his back. "I'm sorry Chass," he said before leaving," I just can't do it."
I slammed the window shut and went back to bed. I didn't want him right now. I didn't want anyone. I didn't need anyone. Not Mike. Not Mom. Not Stan. Not Dad. Not Bill- Billie. Okay, I'm wrong. I need Billie.
I really do.
I turned over. "Izzy!" I yelled," What are you doing?!" "Shh!" he whispered putting a finger to his mouth," You don't want 'Momster' to hear me, do you?" "Sorry," I whispered. I pushed the blanket back and stood up. He was crawling out the window. "Where are you going?" I asked. "I told you," he said," I have to leave today."
"Oh. Right."
"I'm sorry, Chass."
"Sure you are."
"Don't be mad."
"Who said I was mad?"
"You sound like you are."
"Well I'm not!"
There was a pause. He tried to make eye contact with me, but I wouldn't let him. I stared down at my feet. I glanced up. That was a mistake. The tears were welling up again. I bit my lip. I hate crying in front of my brother. It makes me feel stupid. I couldn't help it, though. I really don't want him to go.
I started crying. I tried to wipe the tears away but it was too late. "Don't cry, Chassy," Izzy said sympathetically. "Shut up," I said," I need your help. You won't help."
"What do you want me to do?"
I paused and thought a minute.
"Take me on the road with you."
"I can't do that, Chassy."
"Why not?"
"Because."
"That's not an answer. Take me with you!"
"I can't!"
"Why not?!"
"Because-"
"Because what?!"
I couldn't believe what I was doing. I was... Fighting with my brother. I've never done that before.
He took a deep breath. It didn't matter what he said. I was still mad. "I can't take you because Mom'll-"he began. "Mom'll what?!" I interrupted," She's never given a shit about me! It's not like she'll have a huge search party out looking for me!"
"You're right."
"Like hell I am."
I was still crying. He slung his duffle bag over his back. "I'm sorry Chass," he said before leaving," I just can't do it."
I slammed the window shut and went back to bed. I didn't want him right now. I didn't want anyone. I didn't need anyone. Not Mike. Not Mom. Not Stan. Not Dad. Not Bill- Billie. Okay, I'm wrong. I need Billie.
I really do.
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