I Miss You, chapter 1
I remember that summer. The last summer I ever saw him. The summer when I finally found out his feelings for me, when we fought, and shared our last laughs, the summer ill always remember and never forget.
I dreaded every moment. Watching all my friends and family disappear as we began to drive away. Holding back tears, I couldn't stand it any longer. We were moving, and there was nothing I could do about it. This had been the greatest summer of my life and I shared most of it with my brother, or which is what I called him. His name was Billie, he was just like a brother to me, but that summer, and everything changed. That's when he first kissed me and told me what he always felt for me. I lay back in the car and I could feel the white gold heart shaped locket Billie gave me when I left, slide across my neck. I knew that he would always have a place in my heart and I would always love him. I rolled up my sleeves on my sweatshirt and noticed that past scars from when we fought and when I got mad at my parents. But that wouldn't happen anymore. I'm not going to see hi, not going to be able to talk to him, not be able to gaze into his glistening eyes as he told me he loved me. Not today, not tomorrow, not anymore. Because besides the place in my heart for him, there's an empty space for that place way back when that I used to call home.
***
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnng!!! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnng!!!
I woke up to find my cell phone ringing off the hook at about 9:30 in the morning... on a Saturday.
"Hello?" I said so tired, that whomever was calling probably didn't even hear me answer.
"Amber, hey... I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"Yea, but its okay, I needed to get up."
"Okay, listen, there's a party down at a buddy of mines tonight, you want to come along?"
"Hmmm.. Sure. I don't see why not."
"Alright, well then... hmmm."
"Hmmm what?"
" Oh, ummm nothing, I was going to tell you something."
"What is it Billie?"
"I... " He began to speak, but then cut off and just kept talking.
"Ill see you tonight?
"Yea, yea... you will."
"Alright. Talk to you later?"
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."
I hung up. That was weird I thought to myself. But who cares I'm going to a party with Billie tonight my first Saturday of summer, and it felt great.
***
I was getting ready to go. I just threw on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and I threw my hair up. I also put on my eyeliner, converse, and brushed my teeth. I grabbed my jacket and hopped in my car. I had to call Billie for directions, but other than that I got there in a flash. When I got to the address, the yellow, blue, red, purple, and green lights were so blinding, I w9ouldnt be surprised if I hit someone while I was pulling in. when I finally parked by the curb I heard someone knock on my car window, and looked over to find Billie.
"Hey!" he said excitedly.
"Hey, so whose house is this?"
"Mikes, here come meet him."
"I-uhh- I don't know Billie, you know how I get around people I don't know!"
"Oh c'mon, mikes a real cool guy."
"Alright, alright."
"Meet his girlfriend too... "
"Ugh! Billie!"
He laughed. When I went into the house there were so many people. Along with beer bottles, loud music, those ever-so-familiar blinding lights, any typical party. He dragged me to the back of the house where a door stood. We walked in to find two teens making out on the couch and for some reason the girl looked strangely familiar, although I had never seen the guy before. They stopped and looked embarrassed when they heard us come in. the man on the couch cleared his throat.
"Hey ummm, I'm mike, and this is... "
"SHYLA!" I yelled.
"Amber, oh my god how are you?"
She ran up and gave me a hug, while Billie and mike exchanged looks.
"You two know each other?" mike asked.
"Since we were only like... 2, we grew up together and I haven't seen her since our freshman year."
"Wow, long time."
"Yep."
I nudged her in her side with a smirk and she pulled me out of the room.
"So, are you and Billie, like, going out now?"
"No!!!"
" I mean, like... I don't even know if he likes me."
" Do you like him?"
"Well, I-uhh- I... "
The door opened and Billie and mike walked in.
"You guys alright in here?"
"Yea, we're fine"
***
When I went home the next morning, I went in and my dad was sitting on the couch giving me a where-have-you-been look.
"Sit down Amber"
"What's wr-... "
"Don't talk just listen!!!!!"
"Where were you last night?" he said, his face cold and expressionless.
"I was out... "
"Where?"
"At a party... why?"
"With who?"
" My friends, somewhere down a block or two."
"Who said you could leave?"
"No one... "
I was slapped in the face.
"Exactly," he said.
I was trying to hold back tears. I couldn't much longer. I began bursting into tears on the couch. I could tell my dad was drunk because as he walked of he began staggering, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I heard my phone ring. It was Billie.
"Hello?"
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Yea, I'm fine."
"No you aren't, I can tell."
"I'm fine... "
"Did he hit you?"
My heart sank and then rose into my throat. I wanted to cry. Spill my feelings to him. Tell him everything.
"I'm going to come get you now."
"Billie, you cant, my dad is... "
"Amber, I'm not going to let you be treated this way, now get your stuff."
***
When he got here, it was about 9:30 and my dad was knocked out. I ran out and hopped in the car. He had the heater on in the car so it was really warm. I lay my head on the window and we began to talk. I started to cry again. He put his hand and my leg and looked at me with a gentle smile. He drove me to his house and we went inside and I lay on his bed. He came in and told me to follow him outside. We went on his back porch and he held me in his arms and gave me a warm hug. I relaxed my head on his chest and looked up at the stars.
"Amber... "
"Yes?"
" I have to tell you something," he said with a sigh.
"Alright."
"Well, I-uhh... "
"Billie just... "
I was cut off by a kiss. It was incredible, perfect, and remarkable. He began to pull away so I let go. I never wanted the moment to end, but then the feeling hit me. I knew my feelings for him. I knew that I loved him, that he was the one for me, and that he was the one I wanted to be with forever. I never wanted to let him go.
"I love you Amber, I always have."
"I love you too Billie Joe."
***
The next morning I woke up to find Billie shaking me.
"Wake up."
"Huh? What's going on?"
"Just come, someone's here for you... "
I went into the living room to find two cops standing in the narrow doorway, one cross-armed, the other holding out a badge.
"Ma'am... "
"Yes officer?"
"Ummm yes, we just received a call from your mother."
"My mother?"
"Yes, she apparently went by your fathers house yesterday and... your parents are divorced right?"
"Yes, but what does that have to...."
"And they said they couldn't find you."
"Because I left, but didn't I have a right to I mean I... and my dad... and. "
" We're asking the questions here ma'am."
I turned around and saw Billie on the opposite side of the room with a blank expression on his face.
"What happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why did you leave?"
"My father," I said pulling my sleeve on my sweatshirt over my wrist covering the scar I left the night my dad hit me.
"Your father," he said sarcastically.
"And what did he do," slightly laughing.
I moved my hair away from my face to reveal a giant red mark on my left cheek. The officer stopped and cleared his throat.
"You do know you can report that as child abuse yes?"
"Yes sir."
"I'm going to take you down to the station," he said grabbing my arm.
"No, I want to stay here."
"But ma'am you need to... "
"I said no. I'll be fine."
He looked at me with a worried look, turned to the other officer and then took a deep breath.
"Is this your new residential home?"
"I don't know."
"Hmmm... may we suggest a restraining order against your dad... we'll deal with him
later."
***
That's it. Just like that I was no longer able to see my dad. I didn't care anymore. I could see my mom, but she had no idea where I was, and vice-versa. I spent all my time with Billie, and mike on a count that he came over every once in a while. One night at about 10:15, mike was just leaving. When he left Billie and I lay on his bed and we began to talk. I sat up and gave him a kiss, which then turned into a make out session. (You can guess what happened next.)
***
I woke up with only a sheet covering me. I got up and got dressed and went into the kitchen. I poured a cup of coffee and was greeted by Billie putting his arm around my waist. I sat down and messed with Billie's hair. He laughed and started messing with mine. We were playing with each other until the phone rang. It was my mother.
"Hello?"
"Hey mom."
"Amber! Oh thank god you're okay!"
"I've been mom, where are you?"
"That's my question, I'm at your aunts house... you?"
"Billie's."
My mom used to invite Billie over when I was little; we used to play with each other on the weekends when our mothers were actually friends. They even considered us to be related somehow.
"Little Billie?"
"Yes," I said with a giggle.
"Oh good, I'm coming to get you."
"But... why?"
"We need to talk."
" About what?"
"You'll see."
Then she hung up. I looked over to find a questioning look on Billie's face.
"You okay?"
"I'm fine... my mom just said we needed to talk.
"About what?"
"I don't know, but by her tone I don't think it was good."
I dreaded every moment. Watching all my friends and family disappear as we began to drive away. Holding back tears, I couldn't stand it any longer. We were moving, and there was nothing I could do about it. This had been the greatest summer of my life and I shared most of it with my brother, or which is what I called him. His name was Billie, he was just like a brother to me, but that summer, and everything changed. That's when he first kissed me and told me what he always felt for me. I lay back in the car and I could feel the white gold heart shaped locket Billie gave me when I left, slide across my neck. I knew that he would always have a place in my heart and I would always love him. I rolled up my sleeves on my sweatshirt and noticed that past scars from when we fought and when I got mad at my parents. But that wouldn't happen anymore. I'm not going to see hi, not going to be able to talk to him, not be able to gaze into his glistening eyes as he told me he loved me. Not today, not tomorrow, not anymore. Because besides the place in my heart for him, there's an empty space for that place way back when that I used to call home.
***
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnng!!! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnng!!!
I woke up to find my cell phone ringing off the hook at about 9:30 in the morning... on a Saturday.
"Hello?" I said so tired, that whomever was calling probably didn't even hear me answer.
"Amber, hey... I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"Yea, but its okay, I needed to get up."
"Okay, listen, there's a party down at a buddy of mines tonight, you want to come along?"
"Hmmm.. Sure. I don't see why not."
"Alright, well then... hmmm."
"Hmmm what?"
" Oh, ummm nothing, I was going to tell you something."
"What is it Billie?"
"I... " He began to speak, but then cut off and just kept talking.
"Ill see you tonight?
"Yea, yea... you will."
"Alright. Talk to you later?"
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."
I hung up. That was weird I thought to myself. But who cares I'm going to a party with Billie tonight my first Saturday of summer, and it felt great.
***
I was getting ready to go. I just threw on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and I threw my hair up. I also put on my eyeliner, converse, and brushed my teeth. I grabbed my jacket and hopped in my car. I had to call Billie for directions, but other than that I got there in a flash. When I got to the address, the yellow, blue, red, purple, and green lights were so blinding, I w9ouldnt be surprised if I hit someone while I was pulling in. when I finally parked by the curb I heard someone knock on my car window, and looked over to find Billie.
"Hey!" he said excitedly.
"Hey, so whose house is this?"
"Mikes, here come meet him."
"I-uhh- I don't know Billie, you know how I get around people I don't know!"
"Oh c'mon, mikes a real cool guy."
"Alright, alright."
"Meet his girlfriend too... "
"Ugh! Billie!"
He laughed. When I went into the house there were so many people. Along with beer bottles, loud music, those ever-so-familiar blinding lights, any typical party. He dragged me to the back of the house where a door stood. We walked in to find two teens making out on the couch and for some reason the girl looked strangely familiar, although I had never seen the guy before. They stopped and looked embarrassed when they heard us come in. the man on the couch cleared his throat.
"Hey ummm, I'm mike, and this is... "
"SHYLA!" I yelled.
"Amber, oh my god how are you?"
She ran up and gave me a hug, while Billie and mike exchanged looks.
"You two know each other?" mike asked.
"Since we were only like... 2, we grew up together and I haven't seen her since our freshman year."
"Wow, long time."
"Yep."
I nudged her in her side with a smirk and she pulled me out of the room.
"So, are you and Billie, like, going out now?"
"No!!!"
" I mean, like... I don't even know if he likes me."
" Do you like him?"
"Well, I-uhh- I... "
The door opened and Billie and mike walked in.
"You guys alright in here?"
"Yea, we're fine"
***
When I went home the next morning, I went in and my dad was sitting on the couch giving me a where-have-you-been look.
"Sit down Amber"
"What's wr-... "
"Don't talk just listen!!!!!"
"Where were you last night?" he said, his face cold and expressionless.
"I was out... "
"Where?"
"At a party... why?"
"With who?"
" My friends, somewhere down a block or two."
"Who said you could leave?"
"No one... "
I was slapped in the face.
"Exactly," he said.
I was trying to hold back tears. I couldn't much longer. I began bursting into tears on the couch. I could tell my dad was drunk because as he walked of he began staggering, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I heard my phone ring. It was Billie.
"Hello?"
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Yea, I'm fine."
"No you aren't, I can tell."
"I'm fine... "
"Did he hit you?"
My heart sank and then rose into my throat. I wanted to cry. Spill my feelings to him. Tell him everything.
"I'm going to come get you now."
"Billie, you cant, my dad is... "
"Amber, I'm not going to let you be treated this way, now get your stuff."
***
When he got here, it was about 9:30 and my dad was knocked out. I ran out and hopped in the car. He had the heater on in the car so it was really warm. I lay my head on the window and we began to talk. I started to cry again. He put his hand and my leg and looked at me with a gentle smile. He drove me to his house and we went inside and I lay on his bed. He came in and told me to follow him outside. We went on his back porch and he held me in his arms and gave me a warm hug. I relaxed my head on his chest and looked up at the stars.
"Amber... "
"Yes?"
" I have to tell you something," he said with a sigh.
"Alright."
"Well, I-uhh... "
"Billie just... "
I was cut off by a kiss. It was incredible, perfect, and remarkable. He began to pull away so I let go. I never wanted the moment to end, but then the feeling hit me. I knew my feelings for him. I knew that I loved him, that he was the one for me, and that he was the one I wanted to be with forever. I never wanted to let him go.
"I love you Amber, I always have."
"I love you too Billie Joe."
***
The next morning I woke up to find Billie shaking me.
"Wake up."
"Huh? What's going on?"
"Just come, someone's here for you... "
I went into the living room to find two cops standing in the narrow doorway, one cross-armed, the other holding out a badge.
"Ma'am... "
"Yes officer?"
"Ummm yes, we just received a call from your mother."
"My mother?"
"Yes, she apparently went by your fathers house yesterday and... your parents are divorced right?"
"Yes, but what does that have to...."
"And they said they couldn't find you."
"Because I left, but didn't I have a right to I mean I... and my dad... and. "
" We're asking the questions here ma'am."
I turned around and saw Billie on the opposite side of the room with a blank expression on his face.
"What happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why did you leave?"
"My father," I said pulling my sleeve on my sweatshirt over my wrist covering the scar I left the night my dad hit me.
"Your father," he said sarcastically.
"And what did he do," slightly laughing.
I moved my hair away from my face to reveal a giant red mark on my left cheek. The officer stopped and cleared his throat.
"You do know you can report that as child abuse yes?"
"Yes sir."
"I'm going to take you down to the station," he said grabbing my arm.
"No, I want to stay here."
"But ma'am you need to... "
"I said no. I'll be fine."
He looked at me with a worried look, turned to the other officer and then took a deep breath.
"Is this your new residential home?"
"I don't know."
"Hmmm... may we suggest a restraining order against your dad... we'll deal with him
later."
***
That's it. Just like that I was no longer able to see my dad. I didn't care anymore. I could see my mom, but she had no idea where I was, and vice-versa. I spent all my time with Billie, and mike on a count that he came over every once in a while. One night at about 10:15, mike was just leaving. When he left Billie and I lay on his bed and we began to talk. I sat up and gave him a kiss, which then turned into a make out session. (You can guess what happened next.)
***
I woke up with only a sheet covering me. I got up and got dressed and went into the kitchen. I poured a cup of coffee and was greeted by Billie putting his arm around my waist. I sat down and messed with Billie's hair. He laughed and started messing with mine. We were playing with each other until the phone rang. It was my mother.
"Hello?"
"Hey mom."
"Amber! Oh thank god you're okay!"
"I've been mom, where are you?"
"That's my question, I'm at your aunts house... you?"
"Billie's."
My mom used to invite Billie over when I was little; we used to play with each other on the weekends when our mothers were actually friends. They even considered us to be related somehow.
"Little Billie?"
"Yes," I said with a giggle.
"Oh good, I'm coming to get you."
"But... why?"
"We need to talk."
" About what?"
"You'll see."
Then she hung up. I looked over to find a questioning look on Billie's face.
"You okay?"
"I'm fine... my mom just said we needed to talk.
"About what?"
"I don't know, but by her tone I don't think it was good."
