Saying Goodbye., chapter 7

A week had gone, and reality was starting to set in, all that was left now, was to tell my mom and my brothers and sisters. It would be hard but with Adrienne there, I was sure I could do it. I was out on the patio, having a cigarette, everyone was in bed and it was just me. The cool California air, stung my tear stained face. Despite getting used to the fact that I was dying, I still cried, not a day went by where I hadn't cried.

"How am I gonna tell mom, dad?" I asked my late father, looking up into the sky at the millions of stars.

She'll inderstand, she'll be there for you, just go for it.

I could imagine him saying that, she was distraught when he told her the news but she didn't let that break her down, she was strong for him, I'll never forget that.

I took the last draw of my cigarette and dropped it to the floor and stumped it out. I went back indoors and washed my face.

I spent most nights like this, just staying up, by myself, doing nothing in particular. I had been checking up on Green Day websites, during the sleepless nights, to see if the fans knew yet but still, nothing. I was quite suprised because people always some how found out about stuff.

I decided there was nothing left to do but go to bed. I took my clothes off and slipped in beside Adrienne, wrapping my arms around her slender frame. I kissed her cheek and lay my head down on the soft pillow.


***

The next day, I got up and showered. The kids were going over to Mike's while me and Adrienne went to see my mom. This was going to be hard but I knew with Adrienne's support I could do it. I got dressed and messed up my hair. I was starting to shake a little, I wanted to know so badly how she would react, so I could be prepared.

We pulled up outside the house in which I had grew up. I sat back in my seat and breathed deeply for a while. Eventually I stepped out the car and walked round to Adrienne's side and grabbed her hand. She gave me a comforting smile. I pressed the button to lock the car and we set off down the drive.

I knocked on the door and my mom answered, smiling.

"Oh Billie Joe! Adrienne! How wonderful to see you! Come in. Where are the boys?" my mother, Ollie asked.

"Oh they're at Mike's house today. We've come to talk to you, Billie has something he would like to tell you." Adrienne explained.

"Oh well sit down, I'll go and make some coffee." my mom said.

As she buslted around in the kitchen, Adrienne gave me a hug.

"You can do it. Just take it easy." she whispered in my ear.

My mom came back carrying a tray with coffee and some cookies on it. I took my cup and sipped from it.

"So what did you want to talk about Billie Joe?" my mom asked.

"Well, this is going to be hard, so hard to take in. Heck it's hard for me to say. I am, I have been d-diagnosed with lung cancer mom." I said, even more tears came pouring out.

"Oh my god! Billie Joe!" my mom exclaimed, jumping up and immediatly pulling me into a hug.

"You can fight it son, you're strong, you'll beat it." she said confidently.

"I can't mom, it's too late, I only have four months to live." I said slowly, drying the tears from my face, knowing that there would be more tears to cry.

"I can't be." she said, as she dried my face for me.

"I'm so sorry mom, I wish it wasn't happening." I said.

"Don't you blame yourself for this son, it's not your fault." she said sniffling slightly. I knew she wouldn't cry, she feels she needs to protect her children and remain strong for us.

"You can cry if you want mom, I'll understand." I said softly.

"After everything, dad, me, you're bound to want to cry. You don't need to be strong for me, I can cope." I said.

"You know Billie Joe, not a night went by when I didn't cry myself to sleep after your father died but, I had to move on, life goes on." she replied

"I heard you sometimes mom." I replied quietly.