J.O.S, chapter 1
"Jimmy! Get out of bed now!"
A shoe was thrown through the black and red painted bedroom. It struck the one called Jimmy square in the temple.
"MOTHER OF GOD!" he screamed as he clutched his head and sat up. He looked at the doorway only to see his mother standing there. He scowled.
"What?!" he snapped.
"I'm going out. Watch your sister," she spat as she left his doorway.
Jimmy sighed. "Whatever..." he said quietly as he rested his head back on his pillow, trying to fall back asleep to subdue the pain in his head. It was already 5 but he didn't care. What's the point of sleeping away half the day when you could sleep it all away? Jimmy smirked to himself and drifted off to sleep.
What seemed like a millisecond later, he felt someone poke his side.
"Jimmy?"
Jimmy's eyes fluttered open. He was met with the crystal blue eyes of his little sister.
"Emily? What," he groaned as he turned over. He heard her sniffle. His eyes shot open as he turned back to her. She held up her wrist which was bruised. His eyes grew wide as he heard a crashing noise in the other room.
"Mom's home," Emily said as fresh tears streamed down her face. Jimmy looked to his open bedroom door and ran to close it. He turned back to his little sister and ran his hands through his jet black hair. In attempt to get to her to feel better, he let her sit on the bed with him. He saw a bruise forming on her cheek.
"She hit you again?" he asked and he hugged Emily close. She nodded, trying to stifle the tears from coming. Jimmy nodded and turned to the TV.
"Hey...wanna watch TV?" he asked as he looked at the clock. Almost 7. He felt her shrug in his arms.
"I don't care," she replied in a monotone voice. Jimmy grabbed his crappy television remote to his crappy black and white TV he had taken off the streets. He turned it on and began flipping around channels to see if anything good was on.
"Here we go," he said in a mock happy voice, trying to get his 13 year old sister to feel better. The two watched Tom and Jerry club each other with baseball bats. Jimmy sighed as he watched one of his sisters tears fall onto the bed. He looked up at his walls. They were plastered with flyers he had found on poles promoting concerts for The Ramones, Dead Kennedy's, Operation Ivy and only God knows what else.
Suddenly the door was banged open. Jimmy and Emily turned to see their mother, drunk with rage.
"What are you going to do with your lives!? You sit in here all day wasting your life away! I don't even know why I had you two little brats! All you do is cause me trouble! You go out and get stoned and I'm left here doing what?!" she screamed at her children.
"MOM! FOR GOD'S SAKE! SOBER UP AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Jimmy yelled as he sprang off of his bed. His mom scowled at her approaching son. Jimmy stepped up to the door and slammed it in her face. He heard his mom staggering through the other room, knocking over only objects that would break. Jimmy turned to his bed. He saw his sister laying on it, staring up at the ceiling. Jimmy sighed and looked up at the flier she was staring at.
"I wonder if they ever had lives like this," she whispered as Jimmy sat next to her. He looked up at the Operation Ivy flyer. It was his favorite one. He shrugged.
"Maybe it's all a dream. Like a land of make believe. Remember when we used to play make believe to make everything bad go away?" he asked. Emily nodded. "After dad died," she said quietly. Jimmy nodded and lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"Wanna play make believe again?" he asked. She nodded. "Where should we go?" she asked as more objects crashed in the living room.
Jimmy shrugged. "Concert?" he asked. Emily nodded.
"Ok...close your eyes," he said. Emily did as she was told as Jimmy slid off the bed and put the live CD of a concert he had snuck into in his walk man. He attached his ear phones and walked back to the bed. He slid the earphones over his younger sister's ears and pressed play. Jimmy watched her smile as she heard the song starting. The crashing in the other room had stopped. He sighed and walked to the door. He opened it cautiously and peered into the living room.
She was passed out cold. He sneered at her drunken figure on the couch.
'Damn her... damn her for killing this family... for hurting the only person who I actually cared about... she hurt her only daughter... '
"Jimmy?"
Jimmy jumped slightly and turned around. Emily stood there, looking up to her 17 year old brother. He managed a smile. "Hey..." she held up his walkman. Jimmy cocked an eyebrow.
"What?" he asked. She looked down at it and back up at him.
"I thought you were going to get away with me...I don't want you to be here alone," she said. Jimmy smiled and nodded.
"Ok...come on," he said quietly. He shut the door on their mother and walked back into Jimmy's room, getting away from the rage and hate of the real life they lived in and living for the moment in the world they wanted to be in for the rest of their lives.
The next day Jimmy woke up to his mother screaming at him yet again. He opened his eyes and looked over at the clock. As he did, one of the ear phones fell off from around his ear. He looked down and over at his sister, still sleeping. He smiled. The CD had played itself out and turned off. Jimmy removed the earphone from his sister's ear and took the walkman off of the bed.
He glanced at the clock again. Only noon. He had been rudely awakened earlier today. What was the date? May 7. Ah wonderful, Saturday. Emily didn't have to go to school. She hated it, Jimmy knew she did, but she stuck with it. She wanted to be a writer. 'Poor baby. She'll probably write about all this... about the crap life... about the drunken rampages... about the bruises, the cutting, the smoking, the-.' Jimmy cut himself off. He was squeezing his walkman pretty hard now. He sighed and looked back at his sister. He knew she didn't do that stuff. He did but she didn't want to. He still remembered that day. The day he realized she was different from him. He never wanted to screw it up for her from then on.
***
Emily came running into Jimmy's room. She was only 11 then, Jimmy being 15. "What? What are you crying about?" he asked. He was stoned. He didn't care. He knew why she was crying. Their mom was on another one of her rampages. Emily clung to his shirt.
"What? What do you WANT Emily?" he asked as he pushed her away. He studied her tear stained face. There was a cut down her cheek. Jimmy chuckled. "She got her nails done, did she?" he asked. Emily sniffled and nodded. Jimmy sighed.
"Can we play make believe?" Emily asked. Jimmy groaned.
"I really don't want to. I'm already kinda away, you know what I mean?" he laughed. Emily just stared at her brother, not understanding. He sighed and reached under his bed, pulling out a small box. He opened it and took out a rolled up piece of paper.
"Here," he said as he placed it in his sister's hands.
She looked down at it. "What is it?" she asked, knowing but hoping she was wrong.
"A joint," Jimmy answered simply as he pulled out a lighter. Emily looked up at him, her eyes welling with tears again.
"Oh God, NOW WHAT!?" he yelled. Emily dropped the drug to the floor. Jimmy watched it fall. Emily stepped on it and ground it into the badly carpeted floor. "What the hell Emily! I paid money for that!" he screamed.
"I can't believe you Jimmy!" Emily screamed back, catching her brother completely off guard. "I thought you were better than that! That's why she's crazy all the time! I can't believe THAT'S how you solve your problems! You get high? And you leave me here to deal with this? Are you KIDDING ME! I look up to you! And you just let me down!" Jimmy lost his high as he watched his little sister storm out of his room, making her face the wrath of their drunken mother.
***
Jimmy sighed at the memory and shook his head, trying to make it disappear. He set his precious walkman on his makeshift shelf he and some of his 'disciples' had helped him make.
He checked to make his sister was still sound asleep before he changed quickly, hoping her eyes would stay closed. They did. He pulled on his collared shirt and adjusted his belt before his sister stirred awake.
"Hey," he said. She waved sleepily and curled her knees to her chin.
"Nice belt," she said.
Jimmy looked down at his studded belt and smiled. "Thanks," he said.
"Where'd you get the money for it?" Emily asked.
"Uh..." he stuttered. He knew exactly how he had gotten the money for it. He sold joints in the parking lot during Emily's school hours so she could never find out. "I got a day job... when you're at school I'm at...uh...Denny's," he lied. Emily nodded. She knew it was a lie but didn't really want to know the truth.
"Wanna come to 7-11 with me? I don't really want to leave you here," he said. Emily smiled happily and nodded. She loved going with her brother to the 7-11. He always bought her a slurpee and they'd usually go watch some band play at the theater on the street corner.
"Alright, go get dressed and we'll go, ok?" he said. Emily sprang off the bed and ran to her room. Jimmy sighed and knelt under his bed. He pulled out the small box, the same one from a few years before. He opened it.
Empty.
It'd been like that for almost a year now. That one incident killed him. He never wanted that to happen again. He was all she had. He didn't want her to catch him again. He hadn't stopped, no. He had just stopped at his house. Jimmy heard his sister coming down the hall and shoved the box quickly under his bed. He sat on the edge of his bed as Emily ran into his room. She tossed him his car keys. He caught them and stood up.
"Ready to go?" he asked. She nodded. Jimmy smiled. "Alright, let's get outta here." Emily followed at her big brother's heels.
"We're going out," Jimmy called. Yeah, she was somewhat evil, but he couldn't help but love her. I mean...she was his mom. She let him live there. He knew she loved him but hate always seemed to come out. She never beat up on him. Not anymore. He'd gotten too big... too strong. So instead she beat on Emily. Damn her... she didn't need this. All she wanted was someone to look up too. Jimmy liked to see himself as that role model for her, but knew that it was a lie. He never wanted her to turn out like he had. Doing drugs and drinking wasn't what he wanted for her. He wanted her to follow what SHE wanted to do, not what her big brother did. Maybe he could quit for her...nope that's not gonna happen.
"So?" their mom called. Jimmy rolled his eyes.
"Never mind. We'll be back later," he called back.
"Wait...you're bringing Emily with you?" she yelled right as Jimmy had opened the door. Emily looked up at him in fear.
"Yeah...I am...why?" he said as his mom appeared in the hallway. She stood there.
"I don't trust her with you," she said.
"Oh yeah, right. And she's REAL safe here," Jimmy said sarcastically.
"What are you trying to say?!" their mom yelled.
"Jimmy..." Emily said quietly from his side.
"I'm saying that you beat her!" he yelled, ignoring his sister.
"BEAT HER? I NEVER BEAT HER!" she yelled.
"OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT, BRUISES JUST APPEAR OVER NIGHT FOR NO APARENT REASON!" Jimmy yelled. He placed his hand on his sister's shoulder and led her down the steps to his car.
Jimmy climbed into his beat up car. Yeah, it wasn't the best car in the world, probably closer to the worse. But it had a radio and it could drive and that's all Jimmy really cared about. If he could get away in it, he was fine. Emily buckled herself into the passenger seat.
"Hey Jimmy?" she said as she turned towards him. Jimmy started up the car.
"Yeah?" he asked as he pulled out of the drive way.
"You're my saint," Emily said. Jimmy stopped the car and turned towards her.
"Your saint?" he asked, laughing slightly.
"Yeah. You know...you save me...all the time...and Saint Jimmy sounds better then Savior Jimmy," Emily said, smiling bright. Jimmy thought about it.
"St. Jimmy...I could get used to that," he laughed as he ruffled his sister's hair. She laughed as Jimmy pulled away from their broken home and drove down the street.
A shoe was thrown through the black and red painted bedroom. It struck the one called Jimmy square in the temple.
"MOTHER OF GOD!" he screamed as he clutched his head and sat up. He looked at the doorway only to see his mother standing there. He scowled.
"What?!" he snapped.
"I'm going out. Watch your sister," she spat as she left his doorway.
Jimmy sighed. "Whatever..." he said quietly as he rested his head back on his pillow, trying to fall back asleep to subdue the pain in his head. It was already 5 but he didn't care. What's the point of sleeping away half the day when you could sleep it all away? Jimmy smirked to himself and drifted off to sleep.
What seemed like a millisecond later, he felt someone poke his side.
"Jimmy?"
Jimmy's eyes fluttered open. He was met with the crystal blue eyes of his little sister.
"Emily? What," he groaned as he turned over. He heard her sniffle. His eyes shot open as he turned back to her. She held up her wrist which was bruised. His eyes grew wide as he heard a crashing noise in the other room.
"Mom's home," Emily said as fresh tears streamed down her face. Jimmy looked to his open bedroom door and ran to close it. He turned back to his little sister and ran his hands through his jet black hair. In attempt to get to her to feel better, he let her sit on the bed with him. He saw a bruise forming on her cheek.
"She hit you again?" he asked and he hugged Emily close. She nodded, trying to stifle the tears from coming. Jimmy nodded and turned to the TV.
"Hey...wanna watch TV?" he asked as he looked at the clock. Almost 7. He felt her shrug in his arms.
"I don't care," she replied in a monotone voice. Jimmy grabbed his crappy television remote to his crappy black and white TV he had taken off the streets. He turned it on and began flipping around channels to see if anything good was on.
"Here we go," he said in a mock happy voice, trying to get his 13 year old sister to feel better. The two watched Tom and Jerry club each other with baseball bats. Jimmy sighed as he watched one of his sisters tears fall onto the bed. He looked up at his walls. They were plastered with flyers he had found on poles promoting concerts for The Ramones, Dead Kennedy's, Operation Ivy and only God knows what else.
Suddenly the door was banged open. Jimmy and Emily turned to see their mother, drunk with rage.
"What are you going to do with your lives!? You sit in here all day wasting your life away! I don't even know why I had you two little brats! All you do is cause me trouble! You go out and get stoned and I'm left here doing what?!" she screamed at her children.
"MOM! FOR GOD'S SAKE! SOBER UP AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Jimmy yelled as he sprang off of his bed. His mom scowled at her approaching son. Jimmy stepped up to the door and slammed it in her face. He heard his mom staggering through the other room, knocking over only objects that would break. Jimmy turned to his bed. He saw his sister laying on it, staring up at the ceiling. Jimmy sighed and looked up at the flier she was staring at.
"I wonder if they ever had lives like this," she whispered as Jimmy sat next to her. He looked up at the Operation Ivy flyer. It was his favorite one. He shrugged.
"Maybe it's all a dream. Like a land of make believe. Remember when we used to play make believe to make everything bad go away?" he asked. Emily nodded. "After dad died," she said quietly. Jimmy nodded and lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"Wanna play make believe again?" he asked. She nodded. "Where should we go?" she asked as more objects crashed in the living room.
Jimmy shrugged. "Concert?" he asked. Emily nodded.
"Ok...close your eyes," he said. Emily did as she was told as Jimmy slid off the bed and put the live CD of a concert he had snuck into in his walk man. He attached his ear phones and walked back to the bed. He slid the earphones over his younger sister's ears and pressed play. Jimmy watched her smile as she heard the song starting. The crashing in the other room had stopped. He sighed and walked to the door. He opened it cautiously and peered into the living room.
She was passed out cold. He sneered at her drunken figure on the couch.
'Damn her... damn her for killing this family... for hurting the only person who I actually cared about... she hurt her only daughter... '
"Jimmy?"
Jimmy jumped slightly and turned around. Emily stood there, looking up to her 17 year old brother. He managed a smile. "Hey..." she held up his walkman. Jimmy cocked an eyebrow.
"What?" he asked. She looked down at it and back up at him.
"I thought you were going to get away with me...I don't want you to be here alone," she said. Jimmy smiled and nodded.
"Ok...come on," he said quietly. He shut the door on their mother and walked back into Jimmy's room, getting away from the rage and hate of the real life they lived in and living for the moment in the world they wanted to be in for the rest of their lives.
The next day Jimmy woke up to his mother screaming at him yet again. He opened his eyes and looked over at the clock. As he did, one of the ear phones fell off from around his ear. He looked down and over at his sister, still sleeping. He smiled. The CD had played itself out and turned off. Jimmy removed the earphone from his sister's ear and took the walkman off of the bed.
He glanced at the clock again. Only noon. He had been rudely awakened earlier today. What was the date? May 7. Ah wonderful, Saturday. Emily didn't have to go to school. She hated it, Jimmy knew she did, but she stuck with it. She wanted to be a writer. 'Poor baby. She'll probably write about all this... about the crap life... about the drunken rampages... about the bruises, the cutting, the smoking, the-.' Jimmy cut himself off. He was squeezing his walkman pretty hard now. He sighed and looked back at his sister. He knew she didn't do that stuff. He did but she didn't want to. He still remembered that day. The day he realized she was different from him. He never wanted to screw it up for her from then on.
***
Emily came running into Jimmy's room. She was only 11 then, Jimmy being 15. "What? What are you crying about?" he asked. He was stoned. He didn't care. He knew why she was crying. Their mom was on another one of her rampages. Emily clung to his shirt.
"What? What do you WANT Emily?" he asked as he pushed her away. He studied her tear stained face. There was a cut down her cheek. Jimmy chuckled. "She got her nails done, did she?" he asked. Emily sniffled and nodded. Jimmy sighed.
"Can we play make believe?" Emily asked. Jimmy groaned.
"I really don't want to. I'm already kinda away, you know what I mean?" he laughed. Emily just stared at her brother, not understanding. He sighed and reached under his bed, pulling out a small box. He opened it and took out a rolled up piece of paper.
"Here," he said as he placed it in his sister's hands.
She looked down at it. "What is it?" she asked, knowing but hoping she was wrong.
"A joint," Jimmy answered simply as he pulled out a lighter. Emily looked up at him, her eyes welling with tears again.
"Oh God, NOW WHAT!?" he yelled. Emily dropped the drug to the floor. Jimmy watched it fall. Emily stepped on it and ground it into the badly carpeted floor. "What the hell Emily! I paid money for that!" he screamed.
"I can't believe you Jimmy!" Emily screamed back, catching her brother completely off guard. "I thought you were better than that! That's why she's crazy all the time! I can't believe THAT'S how you solve your problems! You get high? And you leave me here to deal with this? Are you KIDDING ME! I look up to you! And you just let me down!" Jimmy lost his high as he watched his little sister storm out of his room, making her face the wrath of their drunken mother.
***
Jimmy sighed at the memory and shook his head, trying to make it disappear. He set his precious walkman on his makeshift shelf he and some of his 'disciples' had helped him make.
He checked to make his sister was still sound asleep before he changed quickly, hoping her eyes would stay closed. They did. He pulled on his collared shirt and adjusted his belt before his sister stirred awake.
"Hey," he said. She waved sleepily and curled her knees to her chin.
"Nice belt," she said.
Jimmy looked down at his studded belt and smiled. "Thanks," he said.
"Where'd you get the money for it?" Emily asked.
"Uh..." he stuttered. He knew exactly how he had gotten the money for it. He sold joints in the parking lot during Emily's school hours so she could never find out. "I got a day job... when you're at school I'm at...uh...Denny's," he lied. Emily nodded. She knew it was a lie but didn't really want to know the truth.
"Wanna come to 7-11 with me? I don't really want to leave you here," he said. Emily smiled happily and nodded. She loved going with her brother to the 7-11. He always bought her a slurpee and they'd usually go watch some band play at the theater on the street corner.
"Alright, go get dressed and we'll go, ok?" he said. Emily sprang off the bed and ran to her room. Jimmy sighed and knelt under his bed. He pulled out the small box, the same one from a few years before. He opened it.
Empty.
It'd been like that for almost a year now. That one incident killed him. He never wanted that to happen again. He was all she had. He didn't want her to catch him again. He hadn't stopped, no. He had just stopped at his house. Jimmy heard his sister coming down the hall and shoved the box quickly under his bed. He sat on the edge of his bed as Emily ran into his room. She tossed him his car keys. He caught them and stood up.
"Ready to go?" he asked. She nodded. Jimmy smiled. "Alright, let's get outta here." Emily followed at her big brother's heels.
"We're going out," Jimmy called. Yeah, she was somewhat evil, but he couldn't help but love her. I mean...she was his mom. She let him live there. He knew she loved him but hate always seemed to come out. She never beat up on him. Not anymore. He'd gotten too big... too strong. So instead she beat on Emily. Damn her... she didn't need this. All she wanted was someone to look up too. Jimmy liked to see himself as that role model for her, but knew that it was a lie. He never wanted her to turn out like he had. Doing drugs and drinking wasn't what he wanted for her. He wanted her to follow what SHE wanted to do, not what her big brother did. Maybe he could quit for her...nope that's not gonna happen.
"So?" their mom called. Jimmy rolled his eyes.
"Never mind. We'll be back later," he called back.
"Wait...you're bringing Emily with you?" she yelled right as Jimmy had opened the door. Emily looked up at him in fear.
"Yeah...I am...why?" he said as his mom appeared in the hallway. She stood there.
"I don't trust her with you," she said.
"Oh yeah, right. And she's REAL safe here," Jimmy said sarcastically.
"What are you trying to say?!" their mom yelled.
"Jimmy..." Emily said quietly from his side.
"I'm saying that you beat her!" he yelled, ignoring his sister.
"BEAT HER? I NEVER BEAT HER!" she yelled.
"OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT, BRUISES JUST APPEAR OVER NIGHT FOR NO APARENT REASON!" Jimmy yelled. He placed his hand on his sister's shoulder and led her down the steps to his car.
Jimmy climbed into his beat up car. Yeah, it wasn't the best car in the world, probably closer to the worse. But it had a radio and it could drive and that's all Jimmy really cared about. If he could get away in it, he was fine. Emily buckled herself into the passenger seat.
"Hey Jimmy?" she said as she turned towards him. Jimmy started up the car.
"Yeah?" he asked as he pulled out of the drive way.
"You're my saint," Emily said. Jimmy stopped the car and turned towards her.
"Your saint?" he asked, laughing slightly.
"Yeah. You know...you save me...all the time...and Saint Jimmy sounds better then Savior Jimmy," Emily said, smiling bright. Jimmy thought about it.
"St. Jimmy...I could get used to that," he laughed as he ruffled his sister's hair. She laughed as Jimmy pulled away from their broken home and drove down the street.
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