"Do You Have A Lifestory, Jimmy?", chapter 4
"Great. We have one week. One. Week. One fucking week to make it", Jimmy growled and kicked around a plastic bottle as we walked forwards. I was silent and only thought.
"Jimmy", I began. "You shouldn't take all the shit."
He grinned and walked up to block my way.
"Shut. Up", he said plainly, smiling.
"Seriously--" I tried.
"Am I not involved in your life?" he shouted to cut me off. "Come on, I beg you, let me do this for you... I just want to... to be important." He put his hands in his pockets, and I saw how his eyes glistened again. I swallowed, bit my lip and took a step closer to him.
"Look... you are important."
Hesitating, I put my arms around him and hugged him. I was on the point of crying, but I had no idea why.
"There is one way", Jimmy suddenly stated. I loosed my clutch and stared into his brown eyes.
"What way?"
"We'll run away."
***
"Trust me, I've done this a million and one fucking times!"
"So... we're doing it tomorrow then?"
Jimmy nodded and pulled up his last two bucks from his pocket.
"Can we have two sandwiches, please?" he asked the girl behind the desk.
We were at the 7-11, getting something to eat. It was dark outside when we went out again. We had no place to go, so we just kept walking.
"Can I ask you something?" Jimmy suddenly wondered.
"Sure", I said thickly, with my mouth full of bread.
Jimmy stopped walking.
"Can you sing?"
I grinned.
"Uh... never tried."
"So I'll interpret it as yes. Then, my friend, there is two ways."
***
"Jimmy I'm doing anything but that!"
"But we could really do something fair in life, earn some fair money--"
I cut him off, getting really mad.
"Dude, would you do it?"
"Certainly not!"
I gasped with laughter, and Jimmy burst too.
"Okay then." He sneered.
"Thanks. Look, I can't sing, and obviously not in front of other people."
Jimmy blinked at me.
"Fine, fine." He scratched his brown, on the point of black, hair. "Anarchy-time?" He sneered and held up his hand.
I giggled and high-fived it.
"Anarchy for life!"
"Punk's not dead!" Jimmy shouted in the same melody and rhythm.
"Obviously not!" I screamed.
"Piracy for life!"
"Living for... uh, life!"
"Living for looking." Jimmy's voice was whispering and dry. He had a hollow sigh.
"What? Looking for what?" I wondered.
Jimmy got a troubled expression. He stared down at his feet.
"Just forget it, okay?" he looked up at me again, and I nodded with a forced smile. It wasn't really okay.
"Time to steal again. We can find cars anywhere."
I hate to say it, but he was as cutest when he sneered.
that night was the longest night of my life. We stole a car from a parking lot, escaped with it and almost starved. I was so worried about everything. Jimmy drove the car, and even if he joked and seemed happy, I knew he wasn't at all. I wanted to help that guy, heal him, save him, and tell him that everything would be all right. Tell him that someday, we would get out of that deep shit, become people. But the problem was - I couldn't promise him anything. It scared me. If there was one thing I wanted to do for him that would be making him feel safe. I know that life is unfair, sure... but sometimes you can't keep your mind off of that. It's a terrible truth - you can't do everything even if you try all the way to the grave.
Five days passed. These days, we both were really down. But only feeling that he was beside me, and that he would catch me if I fell, made me keep on. I don't remember anything of those days. They just... passed. They passed away, to never get remembered. Nobody knows what nobody remembers.
That's what Jimmy said.
"Can I open my eyes?" I said curiously.
"Just one second... okay... now!"
Jimmy sat in front of me in the narrow lane. He held a paper, and handed it to me.
"What's this?" I whispered to myself.
"Read it aloud", Jimmy wanted and pushed himself closer to the brick wall behind him.
I cleared my throat.
"She's a rebel, she's a saint, she's the salt of the earth and she's dangerous. She's a rebel, vigilante, and missing link on the brink of destruction. From Chicago, to Toronto, she's the one that they call old Whatsername. She's the symbol of resistance, and she's..." I bit my lip and beamed at the blushing Jimmy. "Holding on my heart like a hand grenade." I sighed happily, just like in a romantic crap movie.
"Have you written this? For me?"
Jimmy blushed even more and opened his mouth to say something. But before he had time to, I threw my arms around him and held him tight.
This time I couldn't avoid the tears. They flew out of my eyes and I just didn't care about wiping them.
"What's wrong?" Jimmy whispered. "You alright?"
"I sure as hell am", I sobbed. "Thanks... I don't know how to thank you... J-jimmy..." I got silent and let the last tears fall.
"Well there is one way", Jimmy and I joked simultaneously and burst into laughter, still holding each other.
I leaned a little bit backwards, with my pulse speeding, to drown in his eyes again. He put his hands on my shoulders.
"Is it the first time?" he wondered and wiped away my tears with his thumb.
"Is it yours?" I replied with a wide smirk.
"Just do it."
His lips met mine in a soft kiss. The feeling overwhelmed me. Was it really me, kissing a guy? A guy like Jimmy? They say you never forget your first kiss, and then I realized how right they were. But I forgot everything else that night. The world was all about me, and Jimmy. The world was all about two shitty, poor, pot smoking, drug addicted adolescents in a one-meter wide, dirty, slummy lane.
The world was all about love.
"Jimmy", I began. "You shouldn't take all the shit."
He grinned and walked up to block my way.
"Shut. Up", he said plainly, smiling.
"Seriously--" I tried.
"Am I not involved in your life?" he shouted to cut me off. "Come on, I beg you, let me do this for you... I just want to... to be important." He put his hands in his pockets, and I saw how his eyes glistened again. I swallowed, bit my lip and took a step closer to him.
"Look... you are important."
Hesitating, I put my arms around him and hugged him. I was on the point of crying, but I had no idea why.
"There is one way", Jimmy suddenly stated. I loosed my clutch and stared into his brown eyes.
"What way?"
"We'll run away."
***
"Trust me, I've done this a million and one fucking times!"
"So... we're doing it tomorrow then?"
Jimmy nodded and pulled up his last two bucks from his pocket.
"Can we have two sandwiches, please?" he asked the girl behind the desk.
We were at the 7-11, getting something to eat. It was dark outside when we went out again. We had no place to go, so we just kept walking.
"Can I ask you something?" Jimmy suddenly wondered.
"Sure", I said thickly, with my mouth full of bread.
Jimmy stopped walking.
"Can you sing?"
I grinned.
"Uh... never tried."
"So I'll interpret it as yes. Then, my friend, there is two ways."
***
"Jimmy I'm doing anything but that!"
"But we could really do something fair in life, earn some fair money--"
I cut him off, getting really mad.
"Dude, would you do it?"
"Certainly not!"
I gasped with laughter, and Jimmy burst too.
"Okay then." He sneered.
"Thanks. Look, I can't sing, and obviously not in front of other people."
Jimmy blinked at me.
"Fine, fine." He scratched his brown, on the point of black, hair. "Anarchy-time?" He sneered and held up his hand.
I giggled and high-fived it.
"Anarchy for life!"
"Punk's not dead!" Jimmy shouted in the same melody and rhythm.
"Obviously not!" I screamed.
"Piracy for life!"
"Living for... uh, life!"
"Living for looking." Jimmy's voice was whispering and dry. He had a hollow sigh.
"What? Looking for what?" I wondered.
Jimmy got a troubled expression. He stared down at his feet.
"Just forget it, okay?" he looked up at me again, and I nodded with a forced smile. It wasn't really okay.
"Time to steal again. We can find cars anywhere."
I hate to say it, but he was as cutest when he sneered.
that night was the longest night of my life. We stole a car from a parking lot, escaped with it and almost starved. I was so worried about everything. Jimmy drove the car, and even if he joked and seemed happy, I knew he wasn't at all. I wanted to help that guy, heal him, save him, and tell him that everything would be all right. Tell him that someday, we would get out of that deep shit, become people. But the problem was - I couldn't promise him anything. It scared me. If there was one thing I wanted to do for him that would be making him feel safe. I know that life is unfair, sure... but sometimes you can't keep your mind off of that. It's a terrible truth - you can't do everything even if you try all the way to the grave.
Five days passed. These days, we both were really down. But only feeling that he was beside me, and that he would catch me if I fell, made me keep on. I don't remember anything of those days. They just... passed. They passed away, to never get remembered. Nobody knows what nobody remembers.
That's what Jimmy said.
"Can I open my eyes?" I said curiously.
"Just one second... okay... now!"
Jimmy sat in front of me in the narrow lane. He held a paper, and handed it to me.
"What's this?" I whispered to myself.
"Read it aloud", Jimmy wanted and pushed himself closer to the brick wall behind him.
I cleared my throat.
"She's a rebel, she's a saint, she's the salt of the earth and she's dangerous. She's a rebel, vigilante, and missing link on the brink of destruction. From Chicago, to Toronto, she's the one that they call old Whatsername. She's the symbol of resistance, and she's..." I bit my lip and beamed at the blushing Jimmy. "Holding on my heart like a hand grenade." I sighed happily, just like in a romantic crap movie.
"Have you written this? For me?"
Jimmy blushed even more and opened his mouth to say something. But before he had time to, I threw my arms around him and held him tight.
This time I couldn't avoid the tears. They flew out of my eyes and I just didn't care about wiping them.
"What's wrong?" Jimmy whispered. "You alright?"
"I sure as hell am", I sobbed. "Thanks... I don't know how to thank you... J-jimmy..." I got silent and let the last tears fall.
"Well there is one way", Jimmy and I joked simultaneously and burst into laughter, still holding each other.
I leaned a little bit backwards, with my pulse speeding, to drown in his eyes again. He put his hands on my shoulders.
"Is it the first time?" he wondered and wiped away my tears with his thumb.
"Is it yours?" I replied with a wide smirk.
"Just do it."
His lips met mine in a soft kiss. The feeling overwhelmed me. Was it really me, kissing a guy? A guy like Jimmy? They say you never forget your first kiss, and then I realized how right they were. But I forgot everything else that night. The world was all about me, and Jimmy. The world was all about two shitty, poor, pot smoking, drug addicted adolescents in a one-meter wide, dirty, slummy lane.
The world was all about love.
