"Do You Have A Lifestory, Jimmy?", chapter 5
I woke up when Jimmy started shaking me, not very sensitively.
"I'm sorry to wake you up", he whispered. His warm hand stroked my cheek. "You okay?"
I nodded, but still very tired.
"Come on", Jimmy reassured and gave me his hand. I pulled myself up and rubbed my eyes again.
I hate Mondays, I tried to cheer myself up.
"I have a... special surprise today", Jimmy said with a secretive smile.
"What?" I asked automatically.
"Won't tell you, silly. Let's go now, you can have the breakfast on our way."
"Breakfast?" I yelled, longing for a good old sandwich. More than I ever even dared to dream about, usually.
Jimmy smiled warped.
"Uh... no." Before I had time to protest, he continued. "But I got some fruit! Apples?" He picked up a green apple from his pocket, like he thought he enticed me or something.
I sighed. This guy was hopelessly charming.
"Thanks." I received it, took a bite and started to follow Jimmy. "Where are we going?"
Jimmy groaned.
"I'm not gonna tell you anyway. But I promise, they're waiting absolutely not far from here!"
"They?" I teased, smirking widely.
"Oh shut up, you bitch!"
"What? You call your girlfriend a bitch?" I grinned and threw the half-eaten apple at Jimmy, who looked fake mad.
"Who ever said you're my girlfriend?" he laughed, answering me by bending down, pulling up some grass and throwing it straight to my face.
"You did!" I giggled and escaped Jimmy's second grass bomb.
"But you're still a bitch!"
"Am I?"
Jimmy got too much, roared and tripped me over. Both of us fell down on the lawn, shrieking with laughter. He laid down on me.
"You're the sweetest fucking bitch in the world. Ever", he whispered and kissed me.
I took my chance, rolled over Jimmy to lay on him.
"Is that the way you want it like?" Jimmy beamed, forcing me to turn again.
"Give it up you bastard." I slapped him jokingly.
"Never."
"Jimmy!" I moaned.
Grinning, he turned one last time with his face close to mine.
"Whatsername." He swallowed, and all of a sudden he had gone serious again. "I love you."
His smooth, three words spread a feeling inside me. A feeling I never had felt before.
I had no idea what to reply. "I know" was too selfish. So I just smiled. That was all that came to mind.
We spent the following three minutes in front of each other, smiling in silence, until Jimmy broke it.
"We better go or they'll go crazy, I mean, they're already desperados and you don't want them worse."
I was just going to reply, when someone else suddenly cut us off.
"Oh you don't need to. We're already here."
I gasped and turned around to see about ten people: all of them were boys, but in different ages.
"Uh, surprise!" Jimmy cheered to me.
"Aw, that's what I call puppy love boys!" one of them chuckled teasingly.
"Fucktards", Jimmy cursed. He stood up. "The Underbelly, meet Whatsername. Whatsername, this is the Underbelly."
I forced a smile to my face and started shaking hands.
"Well..." Jimmy doubted, aware of tat he was the only one who knew everyone, so he better speak. "Should we... just hang around town or what would you like?"
"Um, yeah, sure", I mumbled, since his friends didn't say anything at all.
"Oookay... let's go then! How is everyone?"
"Nope, where have you been all damn week long?" a guy with a Mohawk changed topic. The others agreed with him in mumbling voices.
"With Whatsername", Jimmy dismissed them, like it was the clearest thing in the world. "What have you been up to?"
"Are you together? She's your girlfriend?" The questions hailed from a boy who couldn't be older than ten years old. I felt a sting of compassion for him, a ten years old, lost kid. I was sixteen when I ran off to live on the streets, but this kid wasn't even a teenager. He had no ground to stand on.
"That's a huge fucking nagging!" Jimmy shouted with a groan. "Yes, we are." He put his arm around me, and I smiled, a little forced. Jimmy wasn't himself, I could feel that.
The Underbelly was a pretty weird gang; they were all snot-nosed, bratty, childish and cheeky, but really funny. They didn't talk to me very much though; they all worshipped and wanted to be around the centre. Jimmy. To them, he was the sun, and they were like the planets.
When the darkness started to paint the sky, we all decided to make a fire place; of course it wasn't legal at all right there, and grill everything the Underbelly had shoplifted during the morning.
"Can I have another marshmallow?" I asked, and one of the guys around my age, with spiked hair, handed me the plastic bag.
"Thank you", I smiled, pierced it and held the stick close to the fire.
I stared into the flames of the fire, as chewing on the marshmallow that only seemed to swell in my mouth. I was in some kind of ecstasy.
The small boy got me back to reality when he carefully touched my shoulder.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" I asked and winked to see clearly again.
He just handed me a pack of something.
"What's this?"
"Take some and pass it on", he snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Oh okay", I said stupidly and opened it. It took me five seconds to realise what was inside.
First, I looked at him again. Shifted him. Then, I glared at the pack of drugs that he just had eaten from.
"Anything wrong, honey?" Jimmy, who say on my right, asked smoothly.
"Oh, I'm... I... I got over those", I squeezed out from myself.
"I can't live without them", Jimmy said matter-of-factly. When he saw my expression, he added: "Oh yes, I do, trust me. It's true. Life sucks, I know darling." He kissed me cheek, picked up two of the pills, and was just going to put them in his mouth when I prevented him.
"Wait! Wait, what are they?" I yelled worriedly.
"It's just drugs." Jimmy bit his lip for two second, before making his decision and swallowed the drugs. "Don't worry", he reassured me, but he didn't sound very promising.
I shook my head and left him alone, still not very happy with him of course.
That night was scary and tempting. Jimmy and the Underbelly drank their booze, took drugs, smoked pot and cigarettes... I knew what it was about. I knew drugs. I had been fighting for so long to give them up. And then all of a sudden, just when I thought they were out of my life for ever, I was surrounded by them again!
"Jimmy?" I shouted to get his attention, they were all loud and busy laughing and drinking.
He turned around on trembled legs, with his eyes blinking uninterrupted.
"Yeah, baby?"
"I'm taking a walk." I swallowed when I saw the ten year old as drunk as he even fell. Poor thing.
"Where are you going?" Jimmy asked, walking up to me with the others behind us. "You're leaving?"
I grinned. Until I realised Jimmy wasn't joking at all.
"What?" I panted. "Jimmy. I love you."
"Yeah sure. Just leave me, everybody does, do it, do it you too! Just when you think you get something, it slips away!" He was loud, and all of us around him got scared, especially I. He turned around to leave me all perplexed.
But before he was all gone and lost in his way too drunk thoughts, I decided to get my voice heard.
"Hey!" I shouted. "Jimmy! What's the matter?"
Everyone got quiet. All I heard was my speeding pulse, my breath and Jimmy's deep sigh. He took a tottering step.
"Nothing! Get lost now!"
In the darkness, I could spot how his cheeks were wet with tears.
"I won't leave you, Jimmy! I just wanna clear up my mind! Tell me what's wrong now!"
Jimmy looked for the words. His eyes blinked like crazy, and he took a step backwards to keep the balance.
"Jimmy?"
Too late. He fell down backwards, smashing his head straight on a stone.
"NOO!" I howled shrilly, the next second rushing up to him. I got on my knees. "Jimmy... oh holy shit... Jimmy you hear me?"
Panic slowly took over. I had my pulse up in my head, starting to feel dizzy.
I stroke Jimmy's cheeks.
"Sweetie?" I swallowed to escape the tears. "Sweetie?" I repeated.
But Jimmy didn't answer.
"I'm sorry to wake you up", he whispered. His warm hand stroked my cheek. "You okay?"
I nodded, but still very tired.
"Come on", Jimmy reassured and gave me his hand. I pulled myself up and rubbed my eyes again.
I hate Mondays, I tried to cheer myself up.
"I have a... special surprise today", Jimmy said with a secretive smile.
"What?" I asked automatically.
"Won't tell you, silly. Let's go now, you can have the breakfast on our way."
"Breakfast?" I yelled, longing for a good old sandwich. More than I ever even dared to dream about, usually.
Jimmy smiled warped.
"Uh... no." Before I had time to protest, he continued. "But I got some fruit! Apples?" He picked up a green apple from his pocket, like he thought he enticed me or something.
I sighed. This guy was hopelessly charming.
"Thanks." I received it, took a bite and started to follow Jimmy. "Where are we going?"
Jimmy groaned.
"I'm not gonna tell you anyway. But I promise, they're waiting absolutely not far from here!"
"They?" I teased, smirking widely.
"Oh shut up, you bitch!"
"What? You call your girlfriend a bitch?" I grinned and threw the half-eaten apple at Jimmy, who looked fake mad.
"Who ever said you're my girlfriend?" he laughed, answering me by bending down, pulling up some grass and throwing it straight to my face.
"You did!" I giggled and escaped Jimmy's second grass bomb.
"But you're still a bitch!"
"Am I?"
Jimmy got too much, roared and tripped me over. Both of us fell down on the lawn, shrieking with laughter. He laid down on me.
"You're the sweetest fucking bitch in the world. Ever", he whispered and kissed me.
I took my chance, rolled over Jimmy to lay on him.
"Is that the way you want it like?" Jimmy beamed, forcing me to turn again.
"Give it up you bastard." I slapped him jokingly.
"Never."
"Jimmy!" I moaned.
Grinning, he turned one last time with his face close to mine.
"Whatsername." He swallowed, and all of a sudden he had gone serious again. "I love you."
His smooth, three words spread a feeling inside me. A feeling I never had felt before.
I had no idea what to reply. "I know" was too selfish. So I just smiled. That was all that came to mind.
We spent the following three minutes in front of each other, smiling in silence, until Jimmy broke it.
"We better go or they'll go crazy, I mean, they're already desperados and you don't want them worse."
I was just going to reply, when someone else suddenly cut us off.
"Oh you don't need to. We're already here."
I gasped and turned around to see about ten people: all of them were boys, but in different ages.
"Uh, surprise!" Jimmy cheered to me.
"Aw, that's what I call puppy love boys!" one of them chuckled teasingly.
"Fucktards", Jimmy cursed. He stood up. "The Underbelly, meet Whatsername. Whatsername, this is the Underbelly."
I forced a smile to my face and started shaking hands.
"Well..." Jimmy doubted, aware of tat he was the only one who knew everyone, so he better speak. "Should we... just hang around town or what would you like?"
"Um, yeah, sure", I mumbled, since his friends didn't say anything at all.
"Oookay... let's go then! How is everyone?"
"Nope, where have you been all damn week long?" a guy with a Mohawk changed topic. The others agreed with him in mumbling voices.
"With Whatsername", Jimmy dismissed them, like it was the clearest thing in the world. "What have you been up to?"
"Are you together? She's your girlfriend?" The questions hailed from a boy who couldn't be older than ten years old. I felt a sting of compassion for him, a ten years old, lost kid. I was sixteen when I ran off to live on the streets, but this kid wasn't even a teenager. He had no ground to stand on.
"That's a huge fucking nagging!" Jimmy shouted with a groan. "Yes, we are." He put his arm around me, and I smiled, a little forced. Jimmy wasn't himself, I could feel that.
The Underbelly was a pretty weird gang; they were all snot-nosed, bratty, childish and cheeky, but really funny. They didn't talk to me very much though; they all worshipped and wanted to be around the centre. Jimmy. To them, he was the sun, and they were like the planets.
When the darkness started to paint the sky, we all decided to make a fire place; of course it wasn't legal at all right there, and grill everything the Underbelly had shoplifted during the morning.
"Can I have another marshmallow?" I asked, and one of the guys around my age, with spiked hair, handed me the plastic bag.
"Thank you", I smiled, pierced it and held the stick close to the fire.
I stared into the flames of the fire, as chewing on the marshmallow that only seemed to swell in my mouth. I was in some kind of ecstasy.
The small boy got me back to reality when he carefully touched my shoulder.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" I asked and winked to see clearly again.
He just handed me a pack of something.
"What's this?"
"Take some and pass it on", he snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Oh okay", I said stupidly and opened it. It took me five seconds to realise what was inside.
First, I looked at him again. Shifted him. Then, I glared at the pack of drugs that he just had eaten from.
"Anything wrong, honey?" Jimmy, who say on my right, asked smoothly.
"Oh, I'm... I... I got over those", I squeezed out from myself.
"I can't live without them", Jimmy said matter-of-factly. When he saw my expression, he added: "Oh yes, I do, trust me. It's true. Life sucks, I know darling." He kissed me cheek, picked up two of the pills, and was just going to put them in his mouth when I prevented him.
"Wait! Wait, what are they?" I yelled worriedly.
"It's just drugs." Jimmy bit his lip for two second, before making his decision and swallowed the drugs. "Don't worry", he reassured me, but he didn't sound very promising.
I shook my head and left him alone, still not very happy with him of course.
That night was scary and tempting. Jimmy and the Underbelly drank their booze, took drugs, smoked pot and cigarettes... I knew what it was about. I knew drugs. I had been fighting for so long to give them up. And then all of a sudden, just when I thought they were out of my life for ever, I was surrounded by them again!
"Jimmy?" I shouted to get his attention, they were all loud and busy laughing and drinking.
He turned around on trembled legs, with his eyes blinking uninterrupted.
"Yeah, baby?"
"I'm taking a walk." I swallowed when I saw the ten year old as drunk as he even fell. Poor thing.
"Where are you going?" Jimmy asked, walking up to me with the others behind us. "You're leaving?"
I grinned. Until I realised Jimmy wasn't joking at all.
"What?" I panted. "Jimmy. I love you."
"Yeah sure. Just leave me, everybody does, do it, do it you too! Just when you think you get something, it slips away!" He was loud, and all of us around him got scared, especially I. He turned around to leave me all perplexed.
But before he was all gone and lost in his way too drunk thoughts, I decided to get my voice heard.
"Hey!" I shouted. "Jimmy! What's the matter?"
Everyone got quiet. All I heard was my speeding pulse, my breath and Jimmy's deep sigh. He took a tottering step.
"Nothing! Get lost now!"
In the darkness, I could spot how his cheeks were wet with tears.
"I won't leave you, Jimmy! I just wanna clear up my mind! Tell me what's wrong now!"
Jimmy looked for the words. His eyes blinked like crazy, and he took a step backwards to keep the balance.
"Jimmy?"
Too late. He fell down backwards, smashing his head straight on a stone.
"NOO!" I howled shrilly, the next second rushing up to him. I got on my knees. "Jimmy... oh holy shit... Jimmy you hear me?"
Panic slowly took over. I had my pulse up in my head, starting to feel dizzy.
I stroke Jimmy's cheeks.
"Sweetie?" I swallowed to escape the tears. "Sweetie?" I repeated.
But Jimmy didn't answer.
