Tales From Another Broken Home, chapter 11
One week later. Bachelor and Bachelorette parties
Joey's POV
Tonight, Jakob and I have to stay at Grandma Ollie's house because Dad and Adi are having their parties. I am cool with it though because Grandma Ollie is awesome. Jakob is playing with his Nintendo D.S. that he got for Christmas and Grandma Ollie is baking cookies. I decided to help her.
"Hey Grandma Ollie, whatcha bakin'?"
"Some macadamia nut cookies, you wanna help Joey?"
"Sure."
Billie and Adi's house. The Living room. Adi's bachelorette party
Adi's POV
I am so glad that al of my old friends showed up. Jessica, Katie, Emma, Spud, Bobbye and Brittney. Today was pretty fun, considering Billie and I could not see each other. I know it is childish bit I actually do think that it will bring bad luck. Spud said that Billie texted my cell at least sixteen times, found him sneaking around the house and he even tried to give Jessica a note. I guess he is having a hard time being apart for this long, I now I am.
"Guess what time it is?" asked Brittney.
"What?" asked Bobbye.
"Drinks!" shouted Katie as she came in with a bottle of Smirnoff.
"Oh, God," I said.
"C'mon Adi. It's a tradition for the bride to get completely smashed at the bachelorette party. I mean, you didn't even get a stripper," said Jessica.
"Fine. You know that Billie would've killed me if I'd gotten a male stripper," I said but deep down the only man I want to see in the buff are a couple miles away, though it feels like he is a thousand light-years away.
"No, you're just chicken," said Emma.
"No, I'm not. I never approved of male strippers or strippers in general. I always thought it was weird," I said.
"Sure, sure, whatever. Have a drink."
After a couple of hours and more than a few shots everyone loosened up. I was so drunk I could barely see straight. We spent the rest of the night joking, talking and dancing. I hope that I am not hung-over in the morning.
At Tre's house. Billie's bachelor party.
Billie's POV
I need to see Adi. I cannot believe how pathetic I am. It has not even been twenty-four hours and I already miss her. I wonder how it is going to be when we have to go on tour again. I should not think about that right now. It is my bachelor party. I should be having fun. Everyone's here. Tre, Mike, the Jason's (White and Freese), Pelino, Tim, even Frank and Gerard.
"Damn Billie, tell me again why we couldn't get a stripper?" asked Tre.
"I told ya, I didn't want one."
"A mistress?"
"Fuck, Tre! The only woman I want here is Adi."
"She strips?"
"Fuck it Tre!"
I started chasing him around the living room, up the stairs and into his bedroom where we had a major pillow fight. We ran throughout the entire house when I finally cornered Tre in the bathroom.
"Alright. All right. I give, I'm sorry," he said.
"Good," I said, my breathing a bit heavy from all of the chasing.
We walked downstairs to Tre's living room to the guy's laughing.
"What? What's so damn funny?" asked Tre.
"You," said Mike.
"I give, I give," mocked Freese in this extra whiny voice.
"Shut the fuck up, Freese," said Tre as he slapped him upside the head.
"So, now that that's taken care of. What are we gonna do tonight?" asked Gerard.
"I don't know. Whatever you guys want, and no Tre, before you even start."
Tre's smile faded as he looked down at his feet acting as if he had nothing to say in the first place.
"So the choices are: stare blankly at each other from across the room, get shit-faced, sleep, watch a movie, play music, another pillow fight?" asked White.
"I for one, choose booze," said Gerard as he raised his hand.
"No, you little alcoholic," said Frank as he punched him in the arm.
"C'mon guys, this is a bachelor party. Mr. Ethical has taken away he number one favorite bachelor pastime. We got to do something. Billie is getting' hitched tomorrow. He needs to have as much fun as he can now, before it's too late."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.
"When you're tied down, you're tied down."
"What are you saying?"
"Tre's afraid we'll lose you man," said Mike.
"What? Why'd you think that?"
"Look man, we love Adi, she's the coolest chick on the whole damn planet, but you love her."
"That's not gonna make me leave you guys. I was married to Adrienne, we were in love."
"Yeah, normal love. You missed her after a few weeks on the road; you'd call her every night. This, this is different."
"How? How the fuck is this different?" I felt my temper rise.
"Dude, you're obsessed. You couldn't go three hours away from her without freaking. You called, texted, hell you even gave a note to one of her friends."
"I just wanted to check on her. Is that so wrong?"
"No, Billie. Have you ever thought about what'll happen when we go on tour again? Ten, twelve moths on the road, away from home, away from Adi? When she moved away nineteen years ago you went crazy and even tried to kill yourself."
After Mike finished that statement the entire house fell silent. I could not believe he had just said that out loud. He swore to me, on his life, that he would take this little secret to the grave with him. My temper finally snapped. It took all of my power to not rip him to shreds right now. He looked at me, his blue eyes filled with sorrow and shock.
FLASHBACK:
Oakland, California. Nineteen years ago
Mike's POV
These last few weeks have been especially hard. No one and nothing has been the same since Adiana moved away. I never realized just how much she had done for us these last three years. She was like the glue that held us together. Now, all that was left is the sticky residue hanging in the air. I have not talked to Billie yet. I am too nervous. I had never seen him breakdown like that, not even when his father died. He must have really loved her. I guess we all loved her, but now she is gone. I should go check on him.
Billie's POV
Fuck this shit. I cannot take this anymore. There is no God, no heaven, no greener grass, no light at the end of my tunnel, nothing but shit. Every damn time I think I might be happy; I get pushed down and slapped in the fucking face. Why her? Of all the things to take away from me, why Adiana? She is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. She is the only person who truly understands and loves me. I cannot live without her. Life is nothing without her.
About an hour ago, I went to the store and bought some razors. I picked up the cold, sharp piece of metal and pushed it into my wrist. I did not feel any pain, I felt release, as if some unforeseen weight has been lifted form my shoulders. Red fell to the floor. I pushed it in deeper and deeper and then darkness.
Mike's POV
Holy shit! I ran into Billie's bathroom and found him soaked in blood, a razor in his hand and two long, vertical slits on each wrist. He was losing a lot of blood. I was so blinded by my own tears that I could not see. His mother, Ollie was not home, but his sister, Marcy was.
"Marcy! Help! It's Billie, he's hurt," I screamed. She came running in and gasped when she saw her baby brother in that state.
"Oh my God! Billie! Oh Billie, why? I... I'm g... gonna go get an ambulance."
END OF FLASHBACK
Mike's POV
"Billie, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to say that, you got to believe me. It just slipped. Billie, are you okay?"
I looked into my friends' eyes. They were vacant. This cold, dark green stared back at me. I can always look into his eyes to see how he is feeling. He had that look. That same look he had when his father left, when Adi moved away, when we were banned from the Gilman. That look is the only thing in this world that truly scares me.
"Billie? Are you all right? Billie?" asked Mike Pelino, trying to get a response. Nothing.
"C'mon man. It's okay. That all happened what, twenty years ago? Just chill out. We all make mistakes," said Ronnie.
"Yeah man, we know that you'll never do it again. Besides, you're marrying the sexiest woman alive tomorrow!" said Jason Freese.
That must have gotten through to him somehow because he became less rigid, colour came back into his face and his eyes were back to their normal shade of green.
"I... I'm sorry guys. I'm just nervous about tomorrow. I just had a little panic attack and I... I need to see Adiana right now," said Billie.
I looked at him and saw that he did just have a panic attack. It has been years since he had one. He used to get them all the time but then he started getting better. I saw how much of a wreck he was, a wreck only Adiana can fix, so I decided to let him see her.
"Sure Bill, I understand. Well, I guess we should call it a night."
"Yeah, bye Billie. See ya tomorrow. Don't worry man, everything will be fine, alright?" said Gerard as he hugged Billie goodbye.
"Yeah man, just relax. You know we care about ya dude," said Frank as he followed suit.
Ronnie, Mike Pelino, Jason White and Jason Freese left a few minutes later. We awoke Tim who had been passed out on the sofa the whole night. And told him it was time to go home.
"What? I missed the whole damn party? Oh fuck. Ah, well, see ya guys tomorrow at the wedding. My Billie-boys all grown up," he said as he sarcastically pinched Billie's cheeks. Billie laughed. It was not a big laugh, but it was something. After everyone left, Billie and I said goodbye to Tre and got ready to head over to Billie's house. On the ride over we talked.
"I'm really sorry about tonight man," I said.
"No, it's okay."
"It isn't. A promise is a promise and I didn't keep mine."
"Mike, it's cool. Someone was bound to find out sooner or later. I'm actually relieved that it's out in the open."
"You didn't look relieved."
"I've been in a bad mod all day. I'm nervous about marrying Adi. Joey and Jake said that they have been having problems with Adrienne. You know my temper flies. It was a bad time. I just hadn't thought about it lately and you caught me off guard."
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?"
"Yes, why won't you guys stop asking me that? I'm fine. I'll be okay. I just need Adi. Know that I'll never hate you. You're my brother and I love you." Billie reached over and gave me a hug.
"Okay, well we're here. See ya tomorrow Bill."
"Bye, Mike."
Billie's POV
I walked up the pathway to our villa. Just being close to her is starting to make me feel better. I looked through the window and saw her laughing and having a good time with her friends. She is so beautiful, so perfect. I almost do not want to disturb her. Almost. But right now, I need her. I knocked on the door. Jessica stumbled up over and answered it.
"Hello?" I could smell the strong scent of alcohol on her breath.
"Yeah, hey Jessica. I need to speak to Adi."
"Nope."
"What do ya mean, nope?"
"It's bad for the groom to see the bride bef... "
Fuck this shit. I pushed her out of my way and ran to Adi.
"Hey baby. You know you're not supposed to be here," she said with a slight slur.
"Yes, but I need to tell you something important."
"Is it that important?"
"Yes," I said in a serious tone.
"Fine. Girls? I'm sorry but Billie and I need to talk."
"Aww!" said Katie.
"That's not fair. I wanna stay, I wanna stay!" shouted Bobbye.
"C'mon, they need their fraky time," said Emma as she and the girls left the house.
"Okay, what is it?"
"Tonight, Mike brought up something that happened about twenty years ago."
"That's around the time I moved away."
"Yeah, it was the worst time in my life."
"Why?"
"You left and I went a bit crazy. I was swallowed up by depression. Not having you by my side killed me. So I started cutting."
"What? No, Billie, you'd never do that."
"Well I did. One day, I tried to kill myself but Mike saved me, he saved my life."
"You swear you'll never do it again?"
"Yes. Mike told me that he and Tre were afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"Losing me."
"Losing you? Why would they lose you?"
"He says I love you too much."
"What?"
"Yeah, and that they know, deep down, that if I had to choose between you or the band, I'd choose you."
"Well, would you?"
"Yes, in a heartbeat. I can never lose you again. I won't let that happen twice."
"You won't I'll always be right here with you."
"No, you won't."
"Yes."
"No, in ten moths we're going on an eleven month tour."
"What? Eleven months?"
"I can't be away from you that long. I know that it'll happen again. I don't want it to happen again."
Adi's POV
Billie broke down into tears and cried into my chest. His tears soaked through my shirt and it clung to me. It pained me to see him like this. I rubbed my hand up and down his back to soothe him.
"Billie, it's okay. I'll never leave you baby."
He looked up at me, tears running down his face. He really thought that I would leave him. His gorgeous green eyes were filed with sadness. That really shook something inside of him.
"Do you mean it?"
"Of course. Why else would I be marrying you? Why else would I still car for you after twenty years? I'd rather die then lose you again. If you won't be able to make it eleven months without me then I guess I'll have to go with you."
"What? Are you serious?"
"Yes, I've never gone on a tour before."
"Oh, this is great!" He shot up and started pacing back and forth in excitement, explaining what we will do.
"Well, we'll get our own bus and you get to see all the beautiful cities and countries that we visit. What about the baby?"
"Well, in ten moths I will no longer be pregnant anymore. We can bring him with us, huh?"
"Well, yeah. Adrienne never let me bring the boys on tour before but I'm sure we could get it to work."
Now it was my turn to be happy and jump up.
"I can't believe it. I get to go see the world with the man that I love."
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a passionate kiss. Man, I can't wait until tomorrow.
Joey's POV
Tonight, Jakob and I have to stay at Grandma Ollie's house because Dad and Adi are having their parties. I am cool with it though because Grandma Ollie is awesome. Jakob is playing with his Nintendo D.S. that he got for Christmas and Grandma Ollie is baking cookies. I decided to help her.
"Hey Grandma Ollie, whatcha bakin'?"
"Some macadamia nut cookies, you wanna help Joey?"
"Sure."
Billie and Adi's house. The Living room. Adi's bachelorette party
Adi's POV
I am so glad that al of my old friends showed up. Jessica, Katie, Emma, Spud, Bobbye and Brittney. Today was pretty fun, considering Billie and I could not see each other. I know it is childish bit I actually do think that it will bring bad luck. Spud said that Billie texted my cell at least sixteen times, found him sneaking around the house and he even tried to give Jessica a note. I guess he is having a hard time being apart for this long, I now I am.
"Guess what time it is?" asked Brittney.
"What?" asked Bobbye.
"Drinks!" shouted Katie as she came in with a bottle of Smirnoff.
"Oh, God," I said.
"C'mon Adi. It's a tradition for the bride to get completely smashed at the bachelorette party. I mean, you didn't even get a stripper," said Jessica.
"Fine. You know that Billie would've killed me if I'd gotten a male stripper," I said but deep down the only man I want to see in the buff are a couple miles away, though it feels like he is a thousand light-years away.
"No, you're just chicken," said Emma.
"No, I'm not. I never approved of male strippers or strippers in general. I always thought it was weird," I said.
"Sure, sure, whatever. Have a drink."
After a couple of hours and more than a few shots everyone loosened up. I was so drunk I could barely see straight. We spent the rest of the night joking, talking and dancing. I hope that I am not hung-over in the morning.
At Tre's house. Billie's bachelor party.
Billie's POV
I need to see Adi. I cannot believe how pathetic I am. It has not even been twenty-four hours and I already miss her. I wonder how it is going to be when we have to go on tour again. I should not think about that right now. It is my bachelor party. I should be having fun. Everyone's here. Tre, Mike, the Jason's (White and Freese), Pelino, Tim, even Frank and Gerard.
"Damn Billie, tell me again why we couldn't get a stripper?" asked Tre.
"I told ya, I didn't want one."
"A mistress?"
"Fuck, Tre! The only woman I want here is Adi."
"She strips?"
"Fuck it Tre!"
I started chasing him around the living room, up the stairs and into his bedroom where we had a major pillow fight. We ran throughout the entire house when I finally cornered Tre in the bathroom.
"Alright. All right. I give, I'm sorry," he said.
"Good," I said, my breathing a bit heavy from all of the chasing.
We walked downstairs to Tre's living room to the guy's laughing.
"What? What's so damn funny?" asked Tre.
"You," said Mike.
"I give, I give," mocked Freese in this extra whiny voice.
"Shut the fuck up, Freese," said Tre as he slapped him upside the head.
"So, now that that's taken care of. What are we gonna do tonight?" asked Gerard.
"I don't know. Whatever you guys want, and no Tre, before you even start."
Tre's smile faded as he looked down at his feet acting as if he had nothing to say in the first place.
"So the choices are: stare blankly at each other from across the room, get shit-faced, sleep, watch a movie, play music, another pillow fight?" asked White.
"I for one, choose booze," said Gerard as he raised his hand.
"No, you little alcoholic," said Frank as he punched him in the arm.
"C'mon guys, this is a bachelor party. Mr. Ethical has taken away he number one favorite bachelor pastime. We got to do something. Billie is getting' hitched tomorrow. He needs to have as much fun as he can now, before it's too late."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.
"When you're tied down, you're tied down."
"What are you saying?"
"Tre's afraid we'll lose you man," said Mike.
"What? Why'd you think that?"
"Look man, we love Adi, she's the coolest chick on the whole damn planet, but you love her."
"That's not gonna make me leave you guys. I was married to Adrienne, we were in love."
"Yeah, normal love. You missed her after a few weeks on the road; you'd call her every night. This, this is different."
"How? How the fuck is this different?" I felt my temper rise.
"Dude, you're obsessed. You couldn't go three hours away from her without freaking. You called, texted, hell you even gave a note to one of her friends."
"I just wanted to check on her. Is that so wrong?"
"No, Billie. Have you ever thought about what'll happen when we go on tour again? Ten, twelve moths on the road, away from home, away from Adi? When she moved away nineteen years ago you went crazy and even tried to kill yourself."
After Mike finished that statement the entire house fell silent. I could not believe he had just said that out loud. He swore to me, on his life, that he would take this little secret to the grave with him. My temper finally snapped. It took all of my power to not rip him to shreds right now. He looked at me, his blue eyes filled with sorrow and shock.
FLASHBACK:
Oakland, California. Nineteen years ago
Mike's POV
These last few weeks have been especially hard. No one and nothing has been the same since Adiana moved away. I never realized just how much she had done for us these last three years. She was like the glue that held us together. Now, all that was left is the sticky residue hanging in the air. I have not talked to Billie yet. I am too nervous. I had never seen him breakdown like that, not even when his father died. He must have really loved her. I guess we all loved her, but now she is gone. I should go check on him.
Billie's POV
Fuck this shit. I cannot take this anymore. There is no God, no heaven, no greener grass, no light at the end of my tunnel, nothing but shit. Every damn time I think I might be happy; I get pushed down and slapped in the fucking face. Why her? Of all the things to take away from me, why Adiana? She is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. She is the only person who truly understands and loves me. I cannot live without her. Life is nothing without her.
About an hour ago, I went to the store and bought some razors. I picked up the cold, sharp piece of metal and pushed it into my wrist. I did not feel any pain, I felt release, as if some unforeseen weight has been lifted form my shoulders. Red fell to the floor. I pushed it in deeper and deeper and then darkness.
Mike's POV
Holy shit! I ran into Billie's bathroom and found him soaked in blood, a razor in his hand and two long, vertical slits on each wrist. He was losing a lot of blood. I was so blinded by my own tears that I could not see. His mother, Ollie was not home, but his sister, Marcy was.
"Marcy! Help! It's Billie, he's hurt," I screamed. She came running in and gasped when she saw her baby brother in that state.
"Oh my God! Billie! Oh Billie, why? I... I'm g... gonna go get an ambulance."
END OF FLASHBACK
Mike's POV
"Billie, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to say that, you got to believe me. It just slipped. Billie, are you okay?"
I looked into my friends' eyes. They were vacant. This cold, dark green stared back at me. I can always look into his eyes to see how he is feeling. He had that look. That same look he had when his father left, when Adi moved away, when we were banned from the Gilman. That look is the only thing in this world that truly scares me.
"Billie? Are you all right? Billie?" asked Mike Pelino, trying to get a response. Nothing.
"C'mon man. It's okay. That all happened what, twenty years ago? Just chill out. We all make mistakes," said Ronnie.
"Yeah man, we know that you'll never do it again. Besides, you're marrying the sexiest woman alive tomorrow!" said Jason Freese.
That must have gotten through to him somehow because he became less rigid, colour came back into his face and his eyes were back to their normal shade of green.
"I... I'm sorry guys. I'm just nervous about tomorrow. I just had a little panic attack and I... I need to see Adiana right now," said Billie.
I looked at him and saw that he did just have a panic attack. It has been years since he had one. He used to get them all the time but then he started getting better. I saw how much of a wreck he was, a wreck only Adiana can fix, so I decided to let him see her.
"Sure Bill, I understand. Well, I guess we should call it a night."
"Yeah, bye Billie. See ya tomorrow. Don't worry man, everything will be fine, alright?" said Gerard as he hugged Billie goodbye.
"Yeah man, just relax. You know we care about ya dude," said Frank as he followed suit.
Ronnie, Mike Pelino, Jason White and Jason Freese left a few minutes later. We awoke Tim who had been passed out on the sofa the whole night. And told him it was time to go home.
"What? I missed the whole damn party? Oh fuck. Ah, well, see ya guys tomorrow at the wedding. My Billie-boys all grown up," he said as he sarcastically pinched Billie's cheeks. Billie laughed. It was not a big laugh, but it was something. After everyone left, Billie and I said goodbye to Tre and got ready to head over to Billie's house. On the ride over we talked.
"I'm really sorry about tonight man," I said.
"No, it's okay."
"It isn't. A promise is a promise and I didn't keep mine."
"Mike, it's cool. Someone was bound to find out sooner or later. I'm actually relieved that it's out in the open."
"You didn't look relieved."
"I've been in a bad mod all day. I'm nervous about marrying Adi. Joey and Jake said that they have been having problems with Adrienne. You know my temper flies. It was a bad time. I just hadn't thought about it lately and you caught me off guard."
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?"
"Yes, why won't you guys stop asking me that? I'm fine. I'll be okay. I just need Adi. Know that I'll never hate you. You're my brother and I love you." Billie reached over and gave me a hug.
"Okay, well we're here. See ya tomorrow Bill."
"Bye, Mike."
Billie's POV
I walked up the pathway to our villa. Just being close to her is starting to make me feel better. I looked through the window and saw her laughing and having a good time with her friends. She is so beautiful, so perfect. I almost do not want to disturb her. Almost. But right now, I need her. I knocked on the door. Jessica stumbled up over and answered it.
"Hello?" I could smell the strong scent of alcohol on her breath.
"Yeah, hey Jessica. I need to speak to Adi."
"Nope."
"What do ya mean, nope?"
"It's bad for the groom to see the bride bef... "
Fuck this shit. I pushed her out of my way and ran to Adi.
"Hey baby. You know you're not supposed to be here," she said with a slight slur.
"Yes, but I need to tell you something important."
"Is it that important?"
"Yes," I said in a serious tone.
"Fine. Girls? I'm sorry but Billie and I need to talk."
"Aww!" said Katie.
"That's not fair. I wanna stay, I wanna stay!" shouted Bobbye.
"C'mon, they need their fraky time," said Emma as she and the girls left the house.
"Okay, what is it?"
"Tonight, Mike brought up something that happened about twenty years ago."
"That's around the time I moved away."
"Yeah, it was the worst time in my life."
"Why?"
"You left and I went a bit crazy. I was swallowed up by depression. Not having you by my side killed me. So I started cutting."
"What? No, Billie, you'd never do that."
"Well I did. One day, I tried to kill myself but Mike saved me, he saved my life."
"You swear you'll never do it again?"
"Yes. Mike told me that he and Tre were afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"Losing me."
"Losing you? Why would they lose you?"
"He says I love you too much."
"What?"
"Yeah, and that they know, deep down, that if I had to choose between you or the band, I'd choose you."
"Well, would you?"
"Yes, in a heartbeat. I can never lose you again. I won't let that happen twice."
"You won't I'll always be right here with you."
"No, you won't."
"Yes."
"No, in ten moths we're going on an eleven month tour."
"What? Eleven months?"
"I can't be away from you that long. I know that it'll happen again. I don't want it to happen again."
Adi's POV
Billie broke down into tears and cried into my chest. His tears soaked through my shirt and it clung to me. It pained me to see him like this. I rubbed my hand up and down his back to soothe him.
"Billie, it's okay. I'll never leave you baby."
He looked up at me, tears running down his face. He really thought that I would leave him. His gorgeous green eyes were filed with sadness. That really shook something inside of him.
"Do you mean it?"
"Of course. Why else would I be marrying you? Why else would I still car for you after twenty years? I'd rather die then lose you again. If you won't be able to make it eleven months without me then I guess I'll have to go with you."
"What? Are you serious?"
"Yes, I've never gone on a tour before."
"Oh, this is great!" He shot up and started pacing back and forth in excitement, explaining what we will do.
"Well, we'll get our own bus and you get to see all the beautiful cities and countries that we visit. What about the baby?"
"Well, in ten moths I will no longer be pregnant anymore. We can bring him with us, huh?"
"Well, yeah. Adrienne never let me bring the boys on tour before but I'm sure we could get it to work."
Now it was my turn to be happy and jump up.
"I can't believe it. I get to go see the world with the man that I love."
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a passionate kiss. Man, I can't wait until tomorrow.
