What Becomes of a Tragedy?, chapter 12
"Well, Holly. It must be that time of year. How are you feeling?" It was November and it was my yearly doctor's visit. It's not that I was sick or anything, but both of my grandmothers had breast cancer, and, to be blunt, we never knew about my mom.
"I'm feeling good. How about you, Lisa?"
"Very well, thank you. Let's get started, shall we?" She started with the normal diagnostic tests. Then, she moved on to her more specific tests. And all the while, we were having an interesting conversation.
"So, when did you decide to become a Mrs.? I thought you were going to be single forever."
"Well, it's a bit of a long story that started fourteen years ago."
"Really? You've known him for fourteen years and just now getting together?"
"Well, yes and no. We dated years ago, but his job . . . well, with his job . . . he travels a lot. And I couldn't deal with it at a young age."
"Does he still have the same job?"
"Yes, but we are both grown up now. And we've always been close, so realistically this isn't much different than before, but than it is."
"How often do you see him?"
"A couple times a month, but there's a catch. He'll have this crazy schedule for a year or so, and then he'll be home a lot. We spend unusually long times apart and unusually long times together."
Lisa was very curious about his job. "What does he do, exactly?"
"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you." I said, shaking my head in disbelief that she asked that question.
"Oh, come on, now. I've been your doctor for how long? Tell me, please."
"Okay, but you can't tell anybody."
"I promise."
"Okay. What kind of music do you listen to?"
"Don't change the subject."
"I'm not. Just answer the question."
She looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. "Country, mostly. But I have a secret love for punk rock." I smile and chuckle a little. "What are you smiling about?"
"I can bet any money that you have heard of his band."
"Okay, he's in a band. Now I understand the traveling. And I know you aren't going to say the band name, so . . . that's interesting." Her tone and demeanour changed almost instantaneously.
"What's interesting?" I was scared because she had just completed and received the results for breast cancer.
She began to respond, when the nurse walked in with the results of my blood tests. Lisa looks them over and then looks at me. "Holly, you can get dressed now. Meet me in my office. We should discuss these test results right now." And Lisa and the nurse walked out, leaving me to change.
(Let's just say that that was the fastest I have ever gotten dressed.) I gathered my coat and my purse and headed towards her office.
I walk in and she's sitting at her desk with her head in her hands. I take a deep breath, walk in and sit down. "Okay, Lisa. I know it's not good, just flat out tell me. No bull shit."
Lisa looks up at me and forces a weak smile. "Okay. The scan found a small lump in your right breast and it's small enough to break it up with radiation, but . . . "
I couldn't believe there was a 'but'. "But what?"
"You mean you . . ."
"I what?"
"Holly, you're pregnant. That's why we can't do radiation. Cutting it out is the only other option, but we'll have to work quickly."
I sit there in a stunned silence. I have cancer and I'm pregnant. "May I make a phone call, please?" She simply nods and leaves the room.
I pick up the phone and dial Tre's cell phone. "Pick up, please, pick up."
"Hello?" He sounded very confused.
"Tre, it's Holly. I'm calling from the hospital."
"Oh, hey, blue eyes. How's the check-up?"
"That's why I'm calling. Where are you guys, Chicago? I don't remember. But I have news that can't wait."
"Is it good or bad?" Tre asked cautiously.
"Both. She found a small lump in my right breast."
"Well, if it's small, they can treat it with radiation, right?"
"Yeah, but they can't right now. I won't approve it. I'm going to have surgery."
"Why? Wouldn't radiation be quicker and less invasive?" He amazed me because he is actually a very intelligent man. Even though he acts like and idiot most of the time.
"Yes, it would be, but I can't do it." I couldn't bring myself to tell him why.
"What do you mean? Why not?" He was starting to become frustrated.
"Because, Tre . . . I'm pregnant."
And after a few moments of silence, Tre found his voice. "Y- you're what? You're joking?"
"No, I'm not joking. If I have the surgery, it won't affect the baby."
"When are you having the surgery?"
"I would like to get this out of me as soon as possible, but I want you here with me."
"I know you do, but do me a favour, okay?"
"Yeah."
"Find out every detail. I'll tell the guys I'm going to need some time off. And call me when you get home?"
"Planned on it."
"Hey, blue eyes . . ."
"Yes."
"I love you. Everything will all work out."
"I love you, too. I'll talk to you in a bit."
"Bye, cutie."
- Tre and The Guys -
Tre walks into the room where Billie Joe and Mike are eating lunch. He sits down and right away Mike asks, "How's Holly?" But Tre doesn't respond. Mike waves his hand in front of Tre's face.
A little irritated, Tre snaps. "WHAT?!" Tre didn't really want to talk.
Billie and Mike definitely knew something was wrong. "What's wrong?" Tre looks at the floor, takes a deep breath and looks up at his two best friends with tears in his eyes.
"She has breast cancer, she has to have surgery because radiation would kill the baby she just found out she's pregnant with."
Billie immediately grabbed his phone. "Kevin, postpone the tour. We need some time . . Because Tre's wife has breast cancer you ass." Billie finished his conversation with a few other select phrases and curse words. After he was done, Billie walked over to Tre and put his arm around Tre's shoulders. "Let's go home."
"What about all the shows?"
"We can make them up. Holly needs you right now."
- Billie & Adie's House -
"What? Is she okay? When are you guys going to be home? I don't want her to be by herself."
"She's supposed to call Tre when she gets home. Please call her and ask her to come over."
"I planned . . ." But Adie was interrupted by the door bell. "Hang on, Billie." Adie walked to the front door to see me standing there in tears. "Billie, I have to go. Holly's here." She didn't wait for a response, she just hung up. She sets the phone down on the ledge by the door and walks up to me and gives me a very emotional hug. "Honey, come in." We head inside and go in the kitchen. "You want something to drink?"
"Glass of water?" Adie hands me a tissue to wipe my eyes. "I have to call Tre."
She hands me my glass of water. "I know. I'll be in the living room if you need anything, okay?"
A simple nod is my only response. I begin to dial Tre's phone and start crying again. He picks up at the first ring. "Hello." He's been crying too.
Through our sniffles and tears, we try to have a conversation. "Hey, cutie."
"How is my blue eyes?'
"Scared . . . I am so scared, Tre."
"I know, sweetheart, I know. So am I . . . we're on our way home. We'll be home tonight. We're on our way right now."
"Okay. I'll be here at Billie and Adie's. I don't want to be alone."
"Okay. But I'm going to get on the plane. Just stay with Adie. You know she'll listen if you need to talk."
"I know . . . Tre . . ."
"Yes, blue eyes."
"I love you."
"I love you, too, Holly." He rarely ever called me by my name - it made me smile.
- The Guys -
"Tre, calm down. We're going home as fast as we can." Billie was trying to calm his friend down.
"I can run faster that traffic is moving right now. It is ten-thrity on a Monday, traffic is never this bad on a Monday night." Tre just wanted to get home to his wife. "Mike, can't you take the back roads?"
Mike, who was driving, pulls to the side of the road and turns around to face Tre. "Tre, look, we know you want to see Holly. We know you're scared. But you need to wake up and realize that Billie and I want to see her, know that she's being taken care of and we're scared for the both of you too. We know you want to see your wife, but for right now I need you to frickin' calm the hell down. I'm getting you to her as fast as I can." Mike turns around and keeps heading to Billie's.
After five minutes or so, Tre speaks up. "I'm sorry, you guys. You two, of all people, know how much I love her and how much I've wanted to be with her. Now I have her with me and God has other plans."
"Tre, it's not like she's dying. The can get it out of her. Plus, look on the bright side, you two are going to have a baby." Mike said from the front seat.
Billie added. "Yeah, besides do you know how long Adie as listened to her talk about having kids of her own?" Tre shakes his head no. "Since Adie first got pregnant"
The three of them sat in silence the rest of the way to the house. Mike pulled in the driveway. "We're here, Tre." Tre jumped out of the car and ran to the door.
- Inside -
Adie and I sat in the kitchen all night. Sometimes in silence, sometimes in tears, and sometimes in laughter. It was around eleven when we heard a car pull in the driveway. We both smile at each other. I get up and walk towards the door, Adie slowly follows.
I turn the corner to see Tre standing in the front door way. He slowly walks up to me, kneels down in front of me, kisses my belly and hugs my waist.
Adie, Billie and Mike just stand and watch as Tre and I show the affection for each other that we tried, for years, to hide.
Tre stands up after a few minutes. He wipes the tears off my cheeks. "No need to cry, blue eyes. Everything is going to be fine. We're going to be okay." We stand there hugging and kissing for five minutes or so, until I speak up.
"Let's go home. We need to talk about everything."
"I know we do, sweetheart. I know we do." He looks up at Adie and turns to Billie and Mike. "Adie, thanks for keeping her company. Guys, thanks for keeping me calm. But we're going to head home, we have a lot to talk about." Adie, Billie and Mike walk up to us and for the first time in our fourteen-year friendship, we all shared a big group hug. Where we all just held onto each other for quite some time. Not saying a word, just physically holding on to out friendships and love for each other.
Tre and I leave Billie and Adie's around midnight. We ride home in silence, just holding hands . . . knowing - again - that everything was going to change - big time . . .
"I'm feeling good. How about you, Lisa?"
"Very well, thank you. Let's get started, shall we?" She started with the normal diagnostic tests. Then, she moved on to her more specific tests. And all the while, we were having an interesting conversation.
"So, when did you decide to become a Mrs.? I thought you were going to be single forever."
"Well, it's a bit of a long story that started fourteen years ago."
"Really? You've known him for fourteen years and just now getting together?"
"Well, yes and no. We dated years ago, but his job . . . well, with his job . . . he travels a lot. And I couldn't deal with it at a young age."
"Does he still have the same job?"
"Yes, but we are both grown up now. And we've always been close, so realistically this isn't much different than before, but than it is."
"How often do you see him?"
"A couple times a month, but there's a catch. He'll have this crazy schedule for a year or so, and then he'll be home a lot. We spend unusually long times apart and unusually long times together."
Lisa was very curious about his job. "What does he do, exactly?"
"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you." I said, shaking my head in disbelief that she asked that question.
"Oh, come on, now. I've been your doctor for how long? Tell me, please."
"Okay, but you can't tell anybody."
"I promise."
"Okay. What kind of music do you listen to?"
"Don't change the subject."
"I'm not. Just answer the question."
She looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. "Country, mostly. But I have a secret love for punk rock." I smile and chuckle a little. "What are you smiling about?"
"I can bet any money that you have heard of his band."
"Okay, he's in a band. Now I understand the traveling. And I know you aren't going to say the band name, so . . . that's interesting." Her tone and demeanour changed almost instantaneously.
"What's interesting?" I was scared because she had just completed and received the results for breast cancer.
She began to respond, when the nurse walked in with the results of my blood tests. Lisa looks them over and then looks at me. "Holly, you can get dressed now. Meet me in my office. We should discuss these test results right now." And Lisa and the nurse walked out, leaving me to change.
(Let's just say that that was the fastest I have ever gotten dressed.) I gathered my coat and my purse and headed towards her office.
I walk in and she's sitting at her desk with her head in her hands. I take a deep breath, walk in and sit down. "Okay, Lisa. I know it's not good, just flat out tell me. No bull shit."
Lisa looks up at me and forces a weak smile. "Okay. The scan found a small lump in your right breast and it's small enough to break it up with radiation, but . . . "
I couldn't believe there was a 'but'. "But what?"
"You mean you . . ."
"I what?"
"Holly, you're pregnant. That's why we can't do radiation. Cutting it out is the only other option, but we'll have to work quickly."
I sit there in a stunned silence. I have cancer and I'm pregnant. "May I make a phone call, please?" She simply nods and leaves the room.
I pick up the phone and dial Tre's cell phone. "Pick up, please, pick up."
"Hello?" He sounded very confused.
"Tre, it's Holly. I'm calling from the hospital."
"Oh, hey, blue eyes. How's the check-up?"
"That's why I'm calling. Where are you guys, Chicago? I don't remember. But I have news that can't wait."
"Is it good or bad?" Tre asked cautiously.
"Both. She found a small lump in my right breast."
"Well, if it's small, they can treat it with radiation, right?"
"Yeah, but they can't right now. I won't approve it. I'm going to have surgery."
"Why? Wouldn't radiation be quicker and less invasive?" He amazed me because he is actually a very intelligent man. Even though he acts like and idiot most of the time.
"Yes, it would be, but I can't do it." I couldn't bring myself to tell him why.
"What do you mean? Why not?" He was starting to become frustrated.
"Because, Tre . . . I'm pregnant."
And after a few moments of silence, Tre found his voice. "Y- you're what? You're joking?"
"No, I'm not joking. If I have the surgery, it won't affect the baby."
"When are you having the surgery?"
"I would like to get this out of me as soon as possible, but I want you here with me."
"I know you do, but do me a favour, okay?"
"Yeah."
"Find out every detail. I'll tell the guys I'm going to need some time off. And call me when you get home?"
"Planned on it."
"Hey, blue eyes . . ."
"Yes."
"I love you. Everything will all work out."
"I love you, too. I'll talk to you in a bit."
"Bye, cutie."
- Tre and The Guys -
Tre walks into the room where Billie Joe and Mike are eating lunch. He sits down and right away Mike asks, "How's Holly?" But Tre doesn't respond. Mike waves his hand in front of Tre's face.
A little irritated, Tre snaps. "WHAT?!" Tre didn't really want to talk.
Billie and Mike definitely knew something was wrong. "What's wrong?" Tre looks at the floor, takes a deep breath and looks up at his two best friends with tears in his eyes.
"She has breast cancer, she has to have surgery because radiation would kill the baby she just found out she's pregnant with."
Billie immediately grabbed his phone. "Kevin, postpone the tour. We need some time . . Because Tre's wife has breast cancer you ass." Billie finished his conversation with a few other select phrases and curse words. After he was done, Billie walked over to Tre and put his arm around Tre's shoulders. "Let's go home."
"What about all the shows?"
"We can make them up. Holly needs you right now."
- Billie & Adie's House -
"What? Is she okay? When are you guys going to be home? I don't want her to be by herself."
"She's supposed to call Tre when she gets home. Please call her and ask her to come over."
"I planned . . ." But Adie was interrupted by the door bell. "Hang on, Billie." Adie walked to the front door to see me standing there in tears. "Billie, I have to go. Holly's here." She didn't wait for a response, she just hung up. She sets the phone down on the ledge by the door and walks up to me and gives me a very emotional hug. "Honey, come in." We head inside and go in the kitchen. "You want something to drink?"
"Glass of water?" Adie hands me a tissue to wipe my eyes. "I have to call Tre."
She hands me my glass of water. "I know. I'll be in the living room if you need anything, okay?"
A simple nod is my only response. I begin to dial Tre's phone and start crying again. He picks up at the first ring. "Hello." He's been crying too.
Through our sniffles and tears, we try to have a conversation. "Hey, cutie."
"How is my blue eyes?'
"Scared . . . I am so scared, Tre."
"I know, sweetheart, I know. So am I . . . we're on our way home. We'll be home tonight. We're on our way right now."
"Okay. I'll be here at Billie and Adie's. I don't want to be alone."
"Okay. But I'm going to get on the plane. Just stay with Adie. You know she'll listen if you need to talk."
"I know . . . Tre . . ."
"Yes, blue eyes."
"I love you."
"I love you, too, Holly." He rarely ever called me by my name - it made me smile.
- The Guys -
"Tre, calm down. We're going home as fast as we can." Billie was trying to calm his friend down.
"I can run faster that traffic is moving right now. It is ten-thrity on a Monday, traffic is never this bad on a Monday night." Tre just wanted to get home to his wife. "Mike, can't you take the back roads?"
Mike, who was driving, pulls to the side of the road and turns around to face Tre. "Tre, look, we know you want to see Holly. We know you're scared. But you need to wake up and realize that Billie and I want to see her, know that she's being taken care of and we're scared for the both of you too. We know you want to see your wife, but for right now I need you to frickin' calm the hell down. I'm getting you to her as fast as I can." Mike turns around and keeps heading to Billie's.
After five minutes or so, Tre speaks up. "I'm sorry, you guys. You two, of all people, know how much I love her and how much I've wanted to be with her. Now I have her with me and God has other plans."
"Tre, it's not like she's dying. The can get it out of her. Plus, look on the bright side, you two are going to have a baby." Mike said from the front seat.
Billie added. "Yeah, besides do you know how long Adie as listened to her talk about having kids of her own?" Tre shakes his head no. "Since Adie first got pregnant"
The three of them sat in silence the rest of the way to the house. Mike pulled in the driveway. "We're here, Tre." Tre jumped out of the car and ran to the door.
- Inside -
Adie and I sat in the kitchen all night. Sometimes in silence, sometimes in tears, and sometimes in laughter. It was around eleven when we heard a car pull in the driveway. We both smile at each other. I get up and walk towards the door, Adie slowly follows.
I turn the corner to see Tre standing in the front door way. He slowly walks up to me, kneels down in front of me, kisses my belly and hugs my waist.
Adie, Billie and Mike just stand and watch as Tre and I show the affection for each other that we tried, for years, to hide.
Tre stands up after a few minutes. He wipes the tears off my cheeks. "No need to cry, blue eyes. Everything is going to be fine. We're going to be okay." We stand there hugging and kissing for five minutes or so, until I speak up.
"Let's go home. We need to talk about everything."
"I know we do, sweetheart. I know we do." He looks up at Adie and turns to Billie and Mike. "Adie, thanks for keeping her company. Guys, thanks for keeping me calm. But we're going to head home, we have a lot to talk about." Adie, Billie and Mike walk up to us and for the first time in our fourteen-year friendship, we all shared a big group hug. Where we all just held onto each other for quite some time. Not saying a word, just physically holding on to out friendships and love for each other.
Tre and I leave Billie and Adie's around midnight. We ride home in silence, just holding hands . . . knowing - again - that everything was going to change - big time . . .
