Drenched In My Pain Again, chapter 2
I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling, completely bored out of my mind. I couldn’t go to Billie Joe or Mike’s house: They’d rushed off right after school, saying they had an important “meeting�. Which was kind of pissing me off, not only because I was bored, but because they had a little secret I didn’t know about. And stuff like that made me agitated. I’d get it out of Billie Joe eventually, but I didn’t know when “eventually� would be.
I gazed over at my backpack. I supposed I could do homework…sighing, I picked up a text book. Wait till the guys hear about this, I thought. I’m actually doing homework, I’m so bored! I reminisced often of that night in 7th grade, when Billie Joe had told me about his dream. I didn’t know whether or not he told Mike, but they soon began to get more involved with music. So involved, in fact, that in 9th grade they formed their own band, Sweet Children.
I could hear the phone ringing in the hallway outside my bedroom that I shared with my older sister. For the next two rings, I debated on whether or not my brother would get off his lazy ass and pick up the phone, but decided against it. “Hello?� I said into the receiver.
“LAURAOHMYFUCKINGGODYOUARENOTGOINGTOBELIEVETHISWEGOTTHEDEAL!� For a moment I said nothing. I couldn’t even hear a word the person had said, only recognizing the voice as Billie Joe. I could hear more voices in the background, too.
“What? What’s going on?� I said.
“OK, I know we should have told you before, but we were too excited, we thought it wouldn’t work…� Billie Joe was breathless. “You know our band, Sweet Children? We wanted to go big. So we convinced Al to join us, and played at that gig at the Labor Day thing, and these guys…these guys wanted to maybe sign a record deal with us…and…we…we got the deal! We’re going big…like I dreamed…�
I cut Billie Joe off. “What the fuck?!?! YOU GOT A DEAL?!?!?! Holy shit that’s amazing!� I yelled. I knew Al Sobrante, who’d played with Billie Joe and Mike often, on the drums.
My brother came down the hall. “What’s going on?� He asked. “Billie Joe, Mike and Al got a deal! They got a RECORD DEAL!� I screamed.
“Laura! You there?� Billie Joe’s voice on the receiver called to me. I put the phone to my ear. “Yeah, I’m here. Shit, this is amazing! You guys got a deal!�
“Yeah, I know. Listen, I gotta talk to you—meet me at the pier at 10.� Billie Joe said. He seemed to have calmed down, but I was still overly excited.
“Sure. 10 at the pier. Got it.� I said.
“OK, well look, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later.� Billie Joe said.
“’Bye.�
I hung up the phone to find my brother gone—probably to run off and tell his friends about the deal.
At 9:50, I headed down town to the pier, which was a 10-minute walk. When I got there, Billie Joe was already waiting for me. Mike and Al were no where to be seen. I ran over and, forgetting we were in public, gave him a huge hug.
“I can’t believe it…you actually got the deal…� I said. He smiled. “I can’t believe it either…� He said quietly.
Something was wrong, I could tell. We sat down on a bench. “Something wrong?� I asked. Billie Joe knew he couldn’t deny it around me—I could practically read his mind. I knew there was something in there that he wanted to talk to me about, and whatever it was, it was fighting to get out.
“Um, well, I was…kind of thinking…umm…well…� Billie Joe closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them and looked me straight in the eye. I had always loved Billie Joe’s green eyes. They were so magical and contained so much emotion. Right now, though, they had something in them I’d never seen before—a cross of determination, fear, and desire. “OK. The truth is…I’ve been crazy over you since day one. Since I met you in the first grade.�
My first reaction was my mouth dropped open in complete surprise. Not that I never thought Billie Joe didn’t feel about me in that way, but because it was this moment I was least expecting him to tell me. My second reaction—which made me look like a complete jackass—was I started laughing. Now it was Billie Joe’s turn for his mouth to drop. I wanted to stop, honestly, but I couldn’t.
“What’s so funny?� He demanded, but he started laughing too.
“I…I…I love you too…but I wasn’t expecting…� I couldn’t finish my sentence, because I was laughing so hard. Finally I gained some control and said, “Billie Joe, I seriously have loved you too, since…since I met you. Seriously.�
A huge grin stretched across his face from ear to ear. But as quickly as it came, it disappeared. “That’s not all,� He said quietly. “If…if our CD gets big…we’d be going on tour a lot.� He started. Of course I knew this! But he kept going: “And…we’d probably be leaving Rodeo.�
That’s when my world—which had seemed perfect for the last minute—came crashing down. For about five seconds. It all happened so fast, I seriously felt myself getting dizzy. But before I could really have a nervous break down, Billie Joe continued:
“Listen. Even if our band doesn’t get big…I want you to come with me anyway. We can leave this fucking town…get a new life…�
For a while I was speechless. A million things were on my mind, but I couldn’t utter a word. Finally I mumbled pathetically, “What?� If it weren’t for 2 problems, I would have said Yes in a heartbeat. But those problems weren’t little ones. First off, my parents. My parents believed that Billie Joe “isn’t a good influence� on a girl like me. It wasn’t so bad that they forbade me to hang out with him, because we hadn’t been declared an official “couple� then. But now we might be…and anyway, if they found out I was running away with him, of all people, they would hit the roof. Hell, I thought, I’m 18! I can make whatever decisions I want. But there was 1 other problem. Out of all my siblings, I was considered the smart one. Which is kind of hard to believe, because I’m your class-A slacker (besides Billie Joe and Mike). But things like history and algebra came to me naturally. So naturally, in fact, I had even figured out how to not do any of my homework, and, assuming I aced every final (which I always did), still get an A on my report card. So my parents had always wanted me to go to college. I’d never really asked them how I’d pay for college; until it occurred to me I was so smart I could probably get a scholarship. Either that, or my parents really had been saving up for me, which I doubted (if they got up to $50 I’d be surprised, because Dad probably snatched the money and spent it on beer.). But they wanted someone in our family to go on to become successful. The truth was, I hated school. I couldn’t help it that I was smart! And I definitely did not want to go to college.
“I know…your parents…and the scholarship…� Billie Joe looks at me again with those pleading eyes. “But I’ve got money from gigs and selling joints at school…and with the CD and everything…just think about it.�
I nod, unable to say anything. Then Billie Joe surprises me by taking my hand and leading me to the edge of the dock. I know what he’s thinking, because we’d done this same thing billions of times over the years. We roll up our jeans, kick off our shoes and plunk our feet in the water. I stare up at the starry night sky, and it reminded me of that September night years ago, in the 7th grade. And then, I know what to say.
“You remember that night in 7th grade…when you asked me about my dreams?� I ask, already knowing the answer.
“Yeah…why?� He says. “Well, I had a dream. I just didn’t want to say it then. It was that…that we’d run away together. And then it had one of those gay endings…where we live happily ever after…�
When Billie Joe doesn’t respond, I look over at him. And he’s got the hugest grin I’ve ever seen on anybody in my life.
I gazed over at my backpack. I supposed I could do homework…sighing, I picked up a text book. Wait till the guys hear about this, I thought. I’m actually doing homework, I’m so bored! I reminisced often of that night in 7th grade, when Billie Joe had told me about his dream. I didn’t know whether or not he told Mike, but they soon began to get more involved with music. So involved, in fact, that in 9th grade they formed their own band, Sweet Children.
I could hear the phone ringing in the hallway outside my bedroom that I shared with my older sister. For the next two rings, I debated on whether or not my brother would get off his lazy ass and pick up the phone, but decided against it. “Hello?� I said into the receiver.
“LAURAOHMYFUCKINGGODYOUARENOTGOINGTOBELIEVETHISWEGOTTHEDEAL!� For a moment I said nothing. I couldn’t even hear a word the person had said, only recognizing the voice as Billie Joe. I could hear more voices in the background, too.
“What? What’s going on?� I said.
“OK, I know we should have told you before, but we were too excited, we thought it wouldn’t work…� Billie Joe was breathless. “You know our band, Sweet Children? We wanted to go big. So we convinced Al to join us, and played at that gig at the Labor Day thing, and these guys…these guys wanted to maybe sign a record deal with us…and…we…we got the deal! We’re going big…like I dreamed…�
I cut Billie Joe off. “What the fuck?!?! YOU GOT A DEAL?!?!?! Holy shit that’s amazing!� I yelled. I knew Al Sobrante, who’d played with Billie Joe and Mike often, on the drums.
My brother came down the hall. “What’s going on?� He asked. “Billie Joe, Mike and Al got a deal! They got a RECORD DEAL!� I screamed.
“Laura! You there?� Billie Joe’s voice on the receiver called to me. I put the phone to my ear. “Yeah, I’m here. Shit, this is amazing! You guys got a deal!�
“Yeah, I know. Listen, I gotta talk to you—meet me at the pier at 10.� Billie Joe said. He seemed to have calmed down, but I was still overly excited.
“Sure. 10 at the pier. Got it.� I said.
“OK, well look, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later.� Billie Joe said.
“’Bye.�
I hung up the phone to find my brother gone—probably to run off and tell his friends about the deal.
At 9:50, I headed down town to the pier, which was a 10-minute walk. When I got there, Billie Joe was already waiting for me. Mike and Al were no where to be seen. I ran over and, forgetting we were in public, gave him a huge hug.
“I can’t believe it…you actually got the deal…� I said. He smiled. “I can’t believe it either…� He said quietly.
Something was wrong, I could tell. We sat down on a bench. “Something wrong?� I asked. Billie Joe knew he couldn’t deny it around me—I could practically read his mind. I knew there was something in there that he wanted to talk to me about, and whatever it was, it was fighting to get out.
“Um, well, I was…kind of thinking…umm…well…� Billie Joe closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them and looked me straight in the eye. I had always loved Billie Joe’s green eyes. They were so magical and contained so much emotion. Right now, though, they had something in them I’d never seen before—a cross of determination, fear, and desire. “OK. The truth is…I’ve been crazy over you since day one. Since I met you in the first grade.�
My first reaction was my mouth dropped open in complete surprise. Not that I never thought Billie Joe didn’t feel about me in that way, but because it was this moment I was least expecting him to tell me. My second reaction—which made me look like a complete jackass—was I started laughing. Now it was Billie Joe’s turn for his mouth to drop. I wanted to stop, honestly, but I couldn’t.
“What’s so funny?� He demanded, but he started laughing too.
“I…I…I love you too…but I wasn’t expecting…� I couldn’t finish my sentence, because I was laughing so hard. Finally I gained some control and said, “Billie Joe, I seriously have loved you too, since…since I met you. Seriously.�
A huge grin stretched across his face from ear to ear. But as quickly as it came, it disappeared. “That’s not all,� He said quietly. “If…if our CD gets big…we’d be going on tour a lot.� He started. Of course I knew this! But he kept going: “And…we’d probably be leaving Rodeo.�
That’s when my world—which had seemed perfect for the last minute—came crashing down. For about five seconds. It all happened so fast, I seriously felt myself getting dizzy. But before I could really have a nervous break down, Billie Joe continued:
“Listen. Even if our band doesn’t get big…I want you to come with me anyway. We can leave this fucking town…get a new life…�
For a while I was speechless. A million things were on my mind, but I couldn’t utter a word. Finally I mumbled pathetically, “What?� If it weren’t for 2 problems, I would have said Yes in a heartbeat. But those problems weren’t little ones. First off, my parents. My parents believed that Billie Joe “isn’t a good influence� on a girl like me. It wasn’t so bad that they forbade me to hang out with him, because we hadn’t been declared an official “couple� then. But now we might be…and anyway, if they found out I was running away with him, of all people, they would hit the roof. Hell, I thought, I’m 18! I can make whatever decisions I want. But there was 1 other problem. Out of all my siblings, I was considered the smart one. Which is kind of hard to believe, because I’m your class-A slacker (besides Billie Joe and Mike). But things like history and algebra came to me naturally. So naturally, in fact, I had even figured out how to not do any of my homework, and, assuming I aced every final (which I always did), still get an A on my report card. So my parents had always wanted me to go to college. I’d never really asked them how I’d pay for college; until it occurred to me I was so smart I could probably get a scholarship. Either that, or my parents really had been saving up for me, which I doubted (if they got up to $50 I’d be surprised, because Dad probably snatched the money and spent it on beer.). But they wanted someone in our family to go on to become successful. The truth was, I hated school. I couldn’t help it that I was smart! And I definitely did not want to go to college.
“I know…your parents…and the scholarship…� Billie Joe looks at me again with those pleading eyes. “But I’ve got money from gigs and selling joints at school…and with the CD and everything…just think about it.�
I nod, unable to say anything. Then Billie Joe surprises me by taking my hand and leading me to the edge of the dock. I know what he’s thinking, because we’d done this same thing billions of times over the years. We roll up our jeans, kick off our shoes and plunk our feet in the water. I stare up at the starry night sky, and it reminded me of that September night years ago, in the 7th grade. And then, I know what to say.
“You remember that night in 7th grade…when you asked me about my dreams?� I ask, already knowing the answer.
“Yeah…why?� He says. “Well, I had a dream. I just didn’t want to say it then. It was that…that we’d run away together. And then it had one of those gay endings…where we live happily ever after…�
When Billie Joe doesn’t respond, I look over at him. And he’s got the hugest grin I’ve ever seen on anybody in my life.
