Drenched In My Pain Again, chapter 3
Billie Joe walked me to the door of my house, before going inside his. I waited till he was inside before I stepped off the porch and began to walk down the deserted street. The rain—which had been a drizzle before—now grew heavier, pounding on my back and head. Questions buzzed around in my head. One of them naturally being, What the fuck am I going to do? There were basically 2 answers—go with Billie Joe, as I’ve dreamed since I met him, or fulfill my parent’s dream (not mine) of going to college. I really didn’t want to go to college. But on the other hand, I really didn’t want to disappoint my parents.
I walked for an hour, in the complete darkness, with the silent rain drenching me. I was completely oblivious as to how wet I was, or the time. I could barely see as I stumbled down the street, the only light coming from the street lamps overhead.
Eventually I turned around and headed back home. My parents (most likely in the middle of their “happy hour�) would probably yell at me for being late, then ignore whatever I had to say. Which, in this case, would be important, because I decided to address this whole thing to them now. I had made my decision.
I turned the brass doorknob, stepped inside the house, and walked straight into the kitchen. Sure enough, my parents were sitting at the table, chugging six-packs. And they told me not to drink booze. I sat down across from them. “Jesus, Laura, you’re soaked!� Dad grumbled. I just cut to the chase.
“I’ve decided that I don’t want to go to college. I hate school. Instead, Billie Joe offered me to come with him. He’s going to be moving around a lot with the band now that they’ve got their deal. I’ll be leaving in a few days, probably.�
As I’d expected, Mom and Dad were too drunk to comprehend what I was saying. “Sure, honey, just don’t do drugs!� Mom slurred, giggling uncontrollably. “Have fun,� Dad added.
I couldn’t believe it. Usually, if I did something really bad like ding their car, I’d tell them when they were drunk. That way, the punishment wasn’t bad. But this time they were so wasted, they just said random things! And this was one of the most important decisions in my life!
Outraged, I stormed out of the kitchen, hearing my dad say loudly, “What’s HER deal?� Mom cracked up, as if it were the funniest thing in the world. In my room, I didn’t bother to try and be quiet because my sisters were sleeping. Instead, I yanked my suitcase from the messy closet, throwing in clothes.
“Laura? Is that you?� My sister, Kelly, a year younger than me, sat up suddenly. “What’s going on?� She asked. Kelly and I had always been close—at least, she was the closest with me out of all my siblings. My other sister, Ryan, who’s 2 years younger, didn’t budge. She was in a deep sleep.
“I’m leaving,� I said bluntly. “What?� Kelly asked again, rubbing her eyes. “I’m leaving. With Billie Joe. We’re ditching this fucking town.� I repeated. “Do mom and dad know?� She asked quietly. “I told them. They’re too wasted…� My voice drifted off. I thought if I kept talking, I’d cry in front of her. I reached under my bed and grabbed my money jar. I’d just counted it yesterday--$1,000 was in here, money I’d saved up since I was little. I put the jar in my suitcase, along with valuable items and important stuff.
“What about…� Kelly began. I didn’t feel like talking now, so I said, “Kelly, honey, I love you. Tell Katie, Matt, Chris, and Kevin I love them too. I’ll write, or call you, when I get there.� I didn’t even know where “there� was. Kelly just nodded. I then tucked her back into bed, as I’d done when we were little. I waited until she fell asleep before heading out. Mom and Dad didn’t even here me walk out the front door.
Outside, the rain was still falling. I glanced at my watch—12:37. Billie Joe’s mom would probably be home. She loved me like a daughter, but I didn’t want to walk in the front door with a suitcase, so instead I climbed through Billie Joe’s window.
He looked surprised to see me. “Hey,� He said, helping me lift my suitcase through the window. “What’s up?�
“I told them I’m leaving with you.� Billie Joe smiled, glad to see that I’d made my decision to go with him. “And…?� “And they were to drunk to get what I was saying.� Billie Joe’s smile turned into a frown. He wrapped his arms around me and held me. At that moment, all my troubles disappeared. It was the best feeling in the world, laying my head down on his chest, feeling safe and loved. And then I let it all out—I cried. I cried harder then I ever have before. Out of happiness and sadness.
After a while, Billie Joe walked out of his room and came back with a towel so I could dry myself off. Sniffling, I said, “We have to leave tomorrow.� Billie Joe sighed and sat on his bed. “I don’t know about that. Al’s leaving, but we got a new drummer, this guy Tre Cool. He kicks ass on the drums and is great, but I dunno if he wants to get moving so soon.�
“OK, but my parents are gonna wake up tomorrow, find me gone, remember what happened, and come over here to get me back.� I said. Billie Joe nodded. “OK, I’ll call Tre and talk to Mike.�
“Where exactly are we going?� I asked. “The record company is in Oakland. I figured we’d go there, maybe stay in a hotel or something, until things get going. My mom’s totally up for the idea of me leaving, as long as I call her a lot, and she gave me some money. Mike’s got some money and Tre’s loaded.� Billie Joe replied.
“Cool.� I said. Billie Joe picked up his phone and dialed an unfamiliar number, which I figured to be Tre’s. Mike lived in the guest room off Billie Joe’s house, because he wanted to stay in Rodeo and not have to go back and forth between parents. Billie Joe ran out of the room, grabbed Mike, and led him back into the room.
Mike took a good look at me. “Jeez, did you go fucking swimming or something? You’re drenched!� He exclaimed. “Just took a walk,� I said.
“Go take a hot shower,� Billie Joe instructed. “And change. You’re so fucking wet!� I laughed and headed for the bathroom.
After changing into dry clothes (sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt), I headed quietly back to Billie Joe’s room. I paused outside his door and listened to the voices inside. It was Mike and Billie Joe, talking about me, I guessed. Feeling a little bad about eavesdropping, I pressed my ear to the door, but couldn’t make out the words. A few minutes later, Mike stepped out of the room.
“We’re waking up early tomorrow,� He said quietly. “I’ll see you.� Then he smiled. Mike and I had always been good friends. I loved him—but not in a Billie Joe-type of way. “OK.� I said. Then he headed down the hall and disappeared.
I walked into Billie Joe’s room. It was mostly dark, except for the orange-red glow of his cigarette. I could barely make out his figure sitting on the edge of the worn out bed. What happened next—and the series of events that followed—happened in a blur. I remember sitting next to him. He put out his cigarette and hugged me. I cried, though it seemed like I could barely feel the tears running down my cheeks. I remember collapsing on the bed with him, our lips connecting. I remember the heat, the sensation, the thoughts running through my head…
And the next thing I knew, it was morning.
I walked for an hour, in the complete darkness, with the silent rain drenching me. I was completely oblivious as to how wet I was, or the time. I could barely see as I stumbled down the street, the only light coming from the street lamps overhead.
Eventually I turned around and headed back home. My parents (most likely in the middle of their “happy hour�) would probably yell at me for being late, then ignore whatever I had to say. Which, in this case, would be important, because I decided to address this whole thing to them now. I had made my decision.
I turned the brass doorknob, stepped inside the house, and walked straight into the kitchen. Sure enough, my parents were sitting at the table, chugging six-packs. And they told me not to drink booze. I sat down across from them. “Jesus, Laura, you’re soaked!� Dad grumbled. I just cut to the chase.
“I’ve decided that I don’t want to go to college. I hate school. Instead, Billie Joe offered me to come with him. He’s going to be moving around a lot with the band now that they’ve got their deal. I’ll be leaving in a few days, probably.�
As I’d expected, Mom and Dad were too drunk to comprehend what I was saying. “Sure, honey, just don’t do drugs!� Mom slurred, giggling uncontrollably. “Have fun,� Dad added.
I couldn’t believe it. Usually, if I did something really bad like ding their car, I’d tell them when they were drunk. That way, the punishment wasn’t bad. But this time they were so wasted, they just said random things! And this was one of the most important decisions in my life!
Outraged, I stormed out of the kitchen, hearing my dad say loudly, “What’s HER deal?� Mom cracked up, as if it were the funniest thing in the world. In my room, I didn’t bother to try and be quiet because my sisters were sleeping. Instead, I yanked my suitcase from the messy closet, throwing in clothes.
“Laura? Is that you?� My sister, Kelly, a year younger than me, sat up suddenly. “What’s going on?� She asked. Kelly and I had always been close—at least, she was the closest with me out of all my siblings. My other sister, Ryan, who’s 2 years younger, didn’t budge. She was in a deep sleep.
“I’m leaving,� I said bluntly. “What?� Kelly asked again, rubbing her eyes. “I’m leaving. With Billie Joe. We’re ditching this fucking town.� I repeated. “Do mom and dad know?� She asked quietly. “I told them. They’re too wasted…� My voice drifted off. I thought if I kept talking, I’d cry in front of her. I reached under my bed and grabbed my money jar. I’d just counted it yesterday--$1,000 was in here, money I’d saved up since I was little. I put the jar in my suitcase, along with valuable items and important stuff.
“What about…� Kelly began. I didn’t feel like talking now, so I said, “Kelly, honey, I love you. Tell Katie, Matt, Chris, and Kevin I love them too. I’ll write, or call you, when I get there.� I didn’t even know where “there� was. Kelly just nodded. I then tucked her back into bed, as I’d done when we were little. I waited until she fell asleep before heading out. Mom and Dad didn’t even here me walk out the front door.
Outside, the rain was still falling. I glanced at my watch—12:37. Billie Joe’s mom would probably be home. She loved me like a daughter, but I didn’t want to walk in the front door with a suitcase, so instead I climbed through Billie Joe’s window.
He looked surprised to see me. “Hey,� He said, helping me lift my suitcase through the window. “What’s up?�
“I told them I’m leaving with you.� Billie Joe smiled, glad to see that I’d made my decision to go with him. “And…?� “And they were to drunk to get what I was saying.� Billie Joe’s smile turned into a frown. He wrapped his arms around me and held me. At that moment, all my troubles disappeared. It was the best feeling in the world, laying my head down on his chest, feeling safe and loved. And then I let it all out—I cried. I cried harder then I ever have before. Out of happiness and sadness.
After a while, Billie Joe walked out of his room and came back with a towel so I could dry myself off. Sniffling, I said, “We have to leave tomorrow.� Billie Joe sighed and sat on his bed. “I don’t know about that. Al’s leaving, but we got a new drummer, this guy Tre Cool. He kicks ass on the drums and is great, but I dunno if he wants to get moving so soon.�
“OK, but my parents are gonna wake up tomorrow, find me gone, remember what happened, and come over here to get me back.� I said. Billie Joe nodded. “OK, I’ll call Tre and talk to Mike.�
“Where exactly are we going?� I asked. “The record company is in Oakland. I figured we’d go there, maybe stay in a hotel or something, until things get going. My mom’s totally up for the idea of me leaving, as long as I call her a lot, and she gave me some money. Mike’s got some money and Tre’s loaded.� Billie Joe replied.
“Cool.� I said. Billie Joe picked up his phone and dialed an unfamiliar number, which I figured to be Tre’s. Mike lived in the guest room off Billie Joe’s house, because he wanted to stay in Rodeo and not have to go back and forth between parents. Billie Joe ran out of the room, grabbed Mike, and led him back into the room.
Mike took a good look at me. “Jeez, did you go fucking swimming or something? You’re drenched!� He exclaimed. “Just took a walk,� I said.
“Go take a hot shower,� Billie Joe instructed. “And change. You’re so fucking wet!� I laughed and headed for the bathroom.
After changing into dry clothes (sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt), I headed quietly back to Billie Joe’s room. I paused outside his door and listened to the voices inside. It was Mike and Billie Joe, talking about me, I guessed. Feeling a little bad about eavesdropping, I pressed my ear to the door, but couldn’t make out the words. A few minutes later, Mike stepped out of the room.
“We’re waking up early tomorrow,� He said quietly. “I’ll see you.� Then he smiled. Mike and I had always been good friends. I loved him—but not in a Billie Joe-type of way. “OK.� I said. Then he headed down the hall and disappeared.
I walked into Billie Joe’s room. It was mostly dark, except for the orange-red glow of his cigarette. I could barely make out his figure sitting on the edge of the worn out bed. What happened next—and the series of events that followed—happened in a blur. I remember sitting next to him. He put out his cigarette and hugged me. I cried, though it seemed like I could barely feel the tears running down my cheeks. I remember collapsing on the bed with him, our lips connecting. I remember the heat, the sensation, the thoughts running through my head…
And the next thing I knew, it was morning.
