Three Jokers for Three Queens, chapter 3
"I'm In Distress! Oh Mistress I confess! So do it one more time! These handcuffs are too tight! You know I will obey! So Please Don't make me pay! For Blood, sex and booze you give me!"
Silence.
"I'm in Distress! Oh Mi-"
Asland's eyes opened to 'Blood, Sex, and Booze' repeating. It was playing softly and muffling out Billie Joe's voice. Asland sat up and it got louder. She looked behind her and picked up her pillow and it rang out into the room very loudly. Asland picked up the silver cell phone lying under the pillow. She flipped it open.
"Hello?" she asked in a groggy voice.
"Hello?....Um.....is this....like.....Emily?" said an unfimiliar voice. Asland looked at her phone strangly.
"No, this is Riley Asland." There was silence on the other end. Right at the silence, Asland knew she had said the wrong thing.
"OH MY GOSH! I dialed the wrong number and accidentally called Riley Asland!? THE Riley Asland!?" Riley held the phone away from her and scrunched up her face, the voice was very loud.
When she brought the phone back to her face all she heard was rambling. "Oh my gosh! I love your band! I own all of your albums and i know every word to every song! You're band is so amazing and i have shirts and posters and blankets and and and .......EVERYTHING! Plus you are really hot! Did you know that? I bet you did. You probably get told that every day!"
There was silence.
"H-Hello?"
"Yeah i'm here, sorry. It's just.....what time is it where you are?" asked Asland.
"It's ummm......10:00 here. Why?" asked the voice confused.
"Ok yeah, I would love to talk to you and all but here it's like 8:00," the person on the other end gasped.
"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! It didn't realize it was that early there. Ok, well, it was cool to talk to you...OH MY GOSH! I can tell all my friend's that I talked to Riley Asland! Oh wait sorry...bye!" The phone started to beep. Riley laughed and hung up. She loved all of her fans but not when they woke her up at eight in the morning to say they dialed the wrong number.
Asland looked on the floor and saw her sweatshirt, she must have taken it off in the middle of the night unconciously. Now she was just in her short shorts and her think little tank top. She layed back down in her bed. She closed her eyes trying to fall asleep again, when she felt a pressure on her waist. She looked down and saw a hand.
"OH MY GO-!" she screamed and fell off of the bed. There was a loud thud and the owner of the hand woke up. He sat upright and looked around.
"Dude, where am I? Why does my nose hurt?" he sat there holding his face in his hand. Asland got on her knees and peered over the edge of her bed. She realized it was Tre. She sighed. Remembering what had happened the night before she stood up and slowly walked over to Tre.
"So how are you feeling?" she asked. Tre jumped and looked at her. He sighed realizing it was just her.
"Like Sh*t." he said. He took his hands away from his nose. "Oh crap, did I take your bed last night?" She laughed.
"No it's ok...you needed it more than me. Plus you look cute when you sleep." She played with him. He smiled an evil smile.
"So you decided to come and stay with me the night? I can't really remember....was it sexy?" Asland laughed at this.
"No not really, the sexiest thing you did was roll over," Asland laughed.
"Well atleast then you got a good shot of my ass right?" He raised an eyebrow. Asland laughed again.
"You've been here all night....won't Billie Joe wonder where you are, or did you and Mike sneak off together like you've been planning?" Tre pretended to look offended.
"Hey! That hurt my feelings.........why would I sneak off with Mike?......Billie's the sexy one!" he said wriggling an eyebrow and smiling stupidly. Asland laughed.
"Oh wait, was Billie the drunk guy Jimmie was yelling at last night?" Asland asked. Tre nodded.
"I'd better go check on him, he's probably drowning in the toilet by now, he probably passed out in it again."
"Again!?" Asland laughed. Tre nodded and laughed.
"Yeah again!" There was moaning from the other room.
"Hey, it sounds like someone's gettin' it on in there! Let's go watch!" Tre smiled. Asland laughed.
"No that probably just means that Jimmie's awake."
"Dammit," Tre said looking dissapointed. Asland laughed.
"I'd better get her some Aspirin," Asland sighed. Asland got up and walked out of the room. She could tell Tre was getting horny watching her hips move as she walked out of the room. When she left she heard, "Damn that's sexy," from the bedroom. She laughed to herself.
"So, how's my little hungover friend doin'?" Asland asked Jimmie walking over to Jimmie's sachel purse and taking out a bottle of Aspirin and a water bottle.
"I'll answer you when you stop yelling," whispered Jimmie. Asland laughed. She sat down next to Jimmie and gave her the Aspirin and water.
"Oh you are my best friend!" she said. Asland laughed.
"Thank you."
"No not you, I meant the Aspirin."
"Ah I see how it is." Asland laughed, " I stopped being you're best friend after your parents said you could never talk to me again right?" Jimmie nodded.
"I still hate them for that....ever though they are both dead." Now Jimmie had made herself mad and hungover. "Oh yeah...why is Mike Dirnt in our chair?" Asland laughed. She looked over at Adeline who was now asleep cuddling with Mike in the chair.
"Well, we found out that Green Day's in the suite next to us, it's kind of a long story but, Tre Cool's in my bedroom," Jimmie gasped.
"You mean that right now......BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG IS IN THE SUITE NEXT TO US!?" she screamed then grabbed her head. "Ow...." she whispered. Asland laughed.
"Yeah, but right now he's probably as hungover as you are. Oh I'd better go check on Tre and make sure he's not lighting things on fire." Jimmie laughed. Asland got up and walked into the bedroom. When she walked in Tre was still on the bed but he was looking around the room. He spotted a pair of jeans on the floor.
"Like, OH MY GOD!" he yelled like a little teenaged girl. "Like, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH. MY. GOD," Asland laughed. He went back to his normal high pitched voice that Asland loved so much."Don't tell me that those pants are Catastrophic Mischeif!" Asland laughed.
"Yeah they are Catastrophic Mischeif," she laughed. Tre got off the bed and ran over to them. He picked up the jeans.
"You gotta tell me! Is it true!?" he asked a smile cracking on his face. Asland nodded. Tre's eyes widened. "No way! C-can I smell them?" he asked nervously.
"At your own risk." Asland smiled.
"Alright!" He put the pants leg to his face and sniffed hard. He pulled away coughing. "Oh my go- it's true alright." Asland laughed.
"What? Did you not believe me when I said that they aren't washed for months a time?" Tre shook his head.
"Catastrophic Mischeif sends people to their graves," Asland said laughing. Tre nodded in approval. He dropped the pants.
Catastrophic Mischeif were a legendary pair of pants that belonged to Riley Asland. they were infamous for not being washed for months at a time. Asland would wear them everyday until people within a 50 foot radius could smell them. People often wanted to smell Catastrophic Mischeif to see if it was really true.
"How long have those ones been going?" he asked, his eyes watering.
"About three months now." Asland said, now on the floor laughing. Tre wiped his eyes. He finally regained his composure.
"Wow those were ripe!" Asland was still laughing. Tre sighed. "Well I'd better get Mike up and go make sure Billie's not dead yet. I guess I'll see ya' around."
Asland was standing now. She wasn't laughing anymore. She was shocked from the sudden change in subject. Truth of the matter was that she didn't want Tre to leave. Asland watched Tre walk towards the door. She wanted to stop him but she didn't know how, and she couldn't talk.
Then Tre swivled around and looked at Asland. "You wouldn't li.......thanks," he said. He turned around again but Asland grabbed his wrist. He looked up at her. Asland quickly let go. She hadn't meant to grab him, it was just an impulse. Now she had to say something or she would have been thought of as crazy by the guy she liked.
"Would you....like...what i mean is.....d-do you?" She stumbled over her words, and then what she had been wanting to say came out as one long word. "Doyouwanttohavedinnerwithmetonight?"
Tre looked confused. Asland breathed deeply so that she could try it again. "You wouldn't want to h-" She was cut off by Tre's lips. Asland's eyes shot wide again.
Tre's lips were pressed lightly against hers. Asland almost melted. His lips were soft and Asland closed her eyes, not being able or wanting to, for that matter, move. She smiled against his lips. He pulled away. "D-does that mean yes?" stuttered Asland. Tre nodded.
Tre turned to leave, when she grabbed his wrist again, "Wait I forgot," Asland turned around a grabbed a random pen conveniently lying on the floor behind her. She took Tre's hand and scribbled some numbers on it. Then she made the call me sign and winked.
Tre smiled a goofy smile and said, "That was probably a bad idea," he said laughing. Then he turned and finally left the bedroom.
Asland thought it was depressing to be in a room by herself when everyone else was in the main room.So She followed Tre outside.
Tre was next to the door, badgering Mike to hurry up, but Mike was doing what Tre and Asland had been doing just a seconds before. He was scribbling on Adeline's hand. Adeline smiled.
Mike started to walk over to Tre and then looked at Jimmie who was sitting slumped on the couch. Mike walked over to her, took her hand in his and started writing on it. She gave him a strange look. Mike just winked and then went back over to where Tre was. They both left.
***
"I'm In Distress! Oh Mistress I confess! So do it one more time! These han-" Asland flipped open her phone.
"Yeeello?" said Asland.
"Hey sexy," said the voice on the other end. 'Sexy?' she thought. Then she laughed. Asland knew exactly who it was.
"Hello Frank. Did you just call me sexy?." she said just to annoy him.
"Yup....that's not fair. I don't know you're real name," Asland laughed.
"Good I don't want you to," she said back. There was a pause. "So Tre, why'd you call?"
"Cause, I wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner with me tonight?" he asked
"I thought i asked you first?" she said smiling.
"Nope. You asked me a big jumbled word that made no sense," Asland laughed, it was true.
"Alright....where?" she asked.
"Pfft, I don't know, want room service?" he asked laughing.
"Eww hotel food is crappy," Asland laughed. Tre laughed on the other end.
"Alright it's settled then, hotel food," he laughed. Asland sighed playfully.
"Ok," she said. "Where are you?" She heard voices in the background.
"In a sex shop," he said playfully.
"No you're not!" Asland said back.
"Alright, alright.....I'm at a strip club," he said laughing.
"C'mon, where are you? Really?" she said laughing. There was a pause.
"I'll only tell you where I am, if you tell me what you're wearing," he said.
"Tre! C'mon I like barely know you!" Asland said laughing.
"What!? You barely know me? You sleep with a Tre Cool doll, oh yeah that's right I saw it! You have shirts with me on them! How do you not know me!? You're probably my stalker, you probably know everything about me," he said.
"Ok fine, I'm wearing, Catostrophic Mischeif, a Tre shirt, an Adeline hat and my custom inversed converse," she said. "What are you wearing?"
"A sexy little string bikini," he said. Alsand laughed. "Wait! You didn't tell me what underwear you're wearing....are you going commando!?" he asked. Asland cracked up.
"No!" she yelled. "I'm wearing my American Idiot boxers."
"Holy hell. You wear boxers!? Oh that's hot, I've never heard of a chick who wears boxers and not like.....panties."
"Yeah, well now you have. I mean I still wear panties. I just wear my boxers over my underwear and under my Catostrophic Mischeifs."
"Ok fine, well, I'm at my suite listening to Billie Joe play his guitar. It's really boring," he said with a bored tone. Asland smiled.
"So are Mike and Billie Joe going anywhere tonight?" Asland asked.
"Yeah, they're going.....somewhere, I can't remember where I decided to kick them out to. Why?" Asland laughed.
"Because I want to kick Jimmie and Adeline out too. Can they go?"
"Yeah sure whatever, Mike is dying to see Adeline, she hasn't been picking up her cell phone, do you know why?" Asland laughed again.
"Yeah, it's cause she's asleep."
"Oh, that explains it. Well I gotta go....I guess I'll see you tonight for some nasty hotel food," Asland laughed.
"Alright," she said.
"Byebye hotty, stay sexy 'til I get there," he said stupidly.
"Don't worry, the sexiness isn't going anywhere." Asland laughed and hung up.
Her heart was racing and she couldn't wait for that night.
Silence.
"I'm in Distress! Oh Mi-"
Asland's eyes opened to 'Blood, Sex, and Booze' repeating. It was playing softly and muffling out Billie Joe's voice. Asland sat up and it got louder. She looked behind her and picked up her pillow and it rang out into the room very loudly. Asland picked up the silver cell phone lying under the pillow. She flipped it open.
"Hello?" she asked in a groggy voice.
"Hello?....Um.....is this....like.....Emily?" said an unfimiliar voice. Asland looked at her phone strangly.
"No, this is Riley Asland." There was silence on the other end. Right at the silence, Asland knew she had said the wrong thing.
"OH MY GOSH! I dialed the wrong number and accidentally called Riley Asland!? THE Riley Asland!?" Riley held the phone away from her and scrunched up her face, the voice was very loud.
When she brought the phone back to her face all she heard was rambling. "Oh my gosh! I love your band! I own all of your albums and i know every word to every song! You're band is so amazing and i have shirts and posters and blankets and and and .......EVERYTHING! Plus you are really hot! Did you know that? I bet you did. You probably get told that every day!"
There was silence.
"H-Hello?"
"Yeah i'm here, sorry. It's just.....what time is it where you are?" asked Asland.
"It's ummm......10:00 here. Why?" asked the voice confused.
"Ok yeah, I would love to talk to you and all but here it's like 8:00," the person on the other end gasped.
"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! It didn't realize it was that early there. Ok, well, it was cool to talk to you...OH MY GOSH! I can tell all my friend's that I talked to Riley Asland! Oh wait sorry...bye!" The phone started to beep. Riley laughed and hung up. She loved all of her fans but not when they woke her up at eight in the morning to say they dialed the wrong number.
Asland looked on the floor and saw her sweatshirt, she must have taken it off in the middle of the night unconciously. Now she was just in her short shorts and her think little tank top. She layed back down in her bed. She closed her eyes trying to fall asleep again, when she felt a pressure on her waist. She looked down and saw a hand.
"OH MY GO-!" she screamed and fell off of the bed. There was a loud thud and the owner of the hand woke up. He sat upright and looked around.
"Dude, where am I? Why does my nose hurt?" he sat there holding his face in his hand. Asland got on her knees and peered over the edge of her bed. She realized it was Tre. She sighed. Remembering what had happened the night before she stood up and slowly walked over to Tre.
"So how are you feeling?" she asked. Tre jumped and looked at her. He sighed realizing it was just her.
"Like Sh*t." he said. He took his hands away from his nose. "Oh crap, did I take your bed last night?" She laughed.
"No it's ok...you needed it more than me. Plus you look cute when you sleep." She played with him. He smiled an evil smile.
"So you decided to come and stay with me the night? I can't really remember....was it sexy?" Asland laughed at this.
"No not really, the sexiest thing you did was roll over," Asland laughed.
"Well atleast then you got a good shot of my ass right?" He raised an eyebrow. Asland laughed again.
"You've been here all night....won't Billie Joe wonder where you are, or did you and Mike sneak off together like you've been planning?" Tre pretended to look offended.
"Hey! That hurt my feelings.........why would I sneak off with Mike?......Billie's the sexy one!" he said wriggling an eyebrow and smiling stupidly. Asland laughed.
"Oh wait, was Billie the drunk guy Jimmie was yelling at last night?" Asland asked. Tre nodded.
"I'd better go check on him, he's probably drowning in the toilet by now, he probably passed out in it again."
"Again!?" Asland laughed. Tre nodded and laughed.
"Yeah again!" There was moaning from the other room.
"Hey, it sounds like someone's gettin' it on in there! Let's go watch!" Tre smiled. Asland laughed.
"No that probably just means that Jimmie's awake."
"Dammit," Tre said looking dissapointed. Asland laughed.
"I'd better get her some Aspirin," Asland sighed. Asland got up and walked out of the room. She could tell Tre was getting horny watching her hips move as she walked out of the room. When she left she heard, "Damn that's sexy," from the bedroom. She laughed to herself.
"So, how's my little hungover friend doin'?" Asland asked Jimmie walking over to Jimmie's sachel purse and taking out a bottle of Aspirin and a water bottle.
"I'll answer you when you stop yelling," whispered Jimmie. Asland laughed. She sat down next to Jimmie and gave her the Aspirin and water.
"Oh you are my best friend!" she said. Asland laughed.
"Thank you."
"No not you, I meant the Aspirin."
"Ah I see how it is." Asland laughed, " I stopped being you're best friend after your parents said you could never talk to me again right?" Jimmie nodded.
"I still hate them for that....ever though they are both dead." Now Jimmie had made herself mad and hungover. "Oh yeah...why is Mike Dirnt in our chair?" Asland laughed. She looked over at Adeline who was now asleep cuddling with Mike in the chair.
"Well, we found out that Green Day's in the suite next to us, it's kind of a long story but, Tre Cool's in my bedroom," Jimmie gasped.
"You mean that right now......BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG IS IN THE SUITE NEXT TO US!?" she screamed then grabbed her head. "Ow...." she whispered. Asland laughed.
"Yeah, but right now he's probably as hungover as you are. Oh I'd better go check on Tre and make sure he's not lighting things on fire." Jimmie laughed. Asland got up and walked into the bedroom. When she walked in Tre was still on the bed but he was looking around the room. He spotted a pair of jeans on the floor.
"Like, OH MY GOD!" he yelled like a little teenaged girl. "Like, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH. MY. GOD," Asland laughed. He went back to his normal high pitched voice that Asland loved so much."Don't tell me that those pants are Catastrophic Mischeif!" Asland laughed.
"Yeah they are Catastrophic Mischeif," she laughed. Tre got off the bed and ran over to them. He picked up the jeans.
"You gotta tell me! Is it true!?" he asked a smile cracking on his face. Asland nodded. Tre's eyes widened. "No way! C-can I smell them?" he asked nervously.
"At your own risk." Asland smiled.
"Alright!" He put the pants leg to his face and sniffed hard. He pulled away coughing. "Oh my go- it's true alright." Asland laughed.
"What? Did you not believe me when I said that they aren't washed for months a time?" Tre shook his head.
"Catastrophic Mischeif sends people to their graves," Asland said laughing. Tre nodded in approval. He dropped the pants.
Catastrophic Mischeif were a legendary pair of pants that belonged to Riley Asland. they were infamous for not being washed for months at a time. Asland would wear them everyday until people within a 50 foot radius could smell them. People often wanted to smell Catastrophic Mischeif to see if it was really true.
"How long have those ones been going?" he asked, his eyes watering.
"About three months now." Asland said, now on the floor laughing. Tre wiped his eyes. He finally regained his composure.
"Wow those were ripe!" Asland was still laughing. Tre sighed. "Well I'd better get Mike up and go make sure Billie's not dead yet. I guess I'll see ya' around."
Asland was standing now. She wasn't laughing anymore. She was shocked from the sudden change in subject. Truth of the matter was that she didn't want Tre to leave. Asland watched Tre walk towards the door. She wanted to stop him but she didn't know how, and she couldn't talk.
Then Tre swivled around and looked at Asland. "You wouldn't li.......thanks," he said. He turned around again but Asland grabbed his wrist. He looked up at her. Asland quickly let go. She hadn't meant to grab him, it was just an impulse. Now she had to say something or she would have been thought of as crazy by the guy she liked.
"Would you....like...what i mean is.....d-do you?" She stumbled over her words, and then what she had been wanting to say came out as one long word. "Doyouwanttohavedinnerwithmetonight?"
Tre looked confused. Asland breathed deeply so that she could try it again. "You wouldn't want to h-" She was cut off by Tre's lips. Asland's eyes shot wide again.
Tre's lips were pressed lightly against hers. Asland almost melted. His lips were soft and Asland closed her eyes, not being able or wanting to, for that matter, move. She smiled against his lips. He pulled away. "D-does that mean yes?" stuttered Asland. Tre nodded.
Tre turned to leave, when she grabbed his wrist again, "Wait I forgot," Asland turned around a grabbed a random pen conveniently lying on the floor behind her. She took Tre's hand and scribbled some numbers on it. Then she made the call me sign and winked.
Tre smiled a goofy smile and said, "That was probably a bad idea," he said laughing. Then he turned and finally left the bedroom.
Asland thought it was depressing to be in a room by herself when everyone else was in the main room.So She followed Tre outside.
Tre was next to the door, badgering Mike to hurry up, but Mike was doing what Tre and Asland had been doing just a seconds before. He was scribbling on Adeline's hand. Adeline smiled.
Mike started to walk over to Tre and then looked at Jimmie who was sitting slumped on the couch. Mike walked over to her, took her hand in his and started writing on it. She gave him a strange look. Mike just winked and then went back over to where Tre was. They both left.
***
"I'm In Distress! Oh Mistress I confess! So do it one more time! These han-" Asland flipped open her phone.
"Yeeello?" said Asland.
"Hey sexy," said the voice on the other end. 'Sexy?' she thought. Then she laughed. Asland knew exactly who it was.
"Hello Frank. Did you just call me sexy?." she said just to annoy him.
"Yup....that's not fair. I don't know you're real name," Asland laughed.
"Good I don't want you to," she said back. There was a pause. "So Tre, why'd you call?"
"Cause, I wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner with me tonight?" he asked
"I thought i asked you first?" she said smiling.
"Nope. You asked me a big jumbled word that made no sense," Asland laughed, it was true.
"Alright....where?" she asked.
"Pfft, I don't know, want room service?" he asked laughing.
"Eww hotel food is crappy," Asland laughed. Tre laughed on the other end.
"Alright it's settled then, hotel food," he laughed. Asland sighed playfully.
"Ok," she said. "Where are you?" She heard voices in the background.
"In a sex shop," he said playfully.
"No you're not!" Asland said back.
"Alright, alright.....I'm at a strip club," he said laughing.
"C'mon, where are you? Really?" she said laughing. There was a pause.
"I'll only tell you where I am, if you tell me what you're wearing," he said.
"Tre! C'mon I like barely know you!" Asland said laughing.
"What!? You barely know me? You sleep with a Tre Cool doll, oh yeah that's right I saw it! You have shirts with me on them! How do you not know me!? You're probably my stalker, you probably know everything about me," he said.
"Ok fine, I'm wearing, Catostrophic Mischeif, a Tre shirt, an Adeline hat and my custom inversed converse," she said. "What are you wearing?"
"A sexy little string bikini," he said. Alsand laughed. "Wait! You didn't tell me what underwear you're wearing....are you going commando!?" he asked. Asland cracked up.
"No!" she yelled. "I'm wearing my American Idiot boxers."
"Holy hell. You wear boxers!? Oh that's hot, I've never heard of a chick who wears boxers and not like.....panties."
"Yeah, well now you have. I mean I still wear panties. I just wear my boxers over my underwear and under my Catostrophic Mischeifs."
"Ok fine, well, I'm at my suite listening to Billie Joe play his guitar. It's really boring," he said with a bored tone. Asland smiled.
"So are Mike and Billie Joe going anywhere tonight?" Asland asked.
"Yeah, they're going.....somewhere, I can't remember where I decided to kick them out to. Why?" Asland laughed.
"Because I want to kick Jimmie and Adeline out too. Can they go?"
"Yeah sure whatever, Mike is dying to see Adeline, she hasn't been picking up her cell phone, do you know why?" Asland laughed again.
"Yeah, it's cause she's asleep."
"Oh, that explains it. Well I gotta go....I guess I'll see you tonight for some nasty hotel food," Asland laughed.
"Alright," she said.
"Byebye hotty, stay sexy 'til I get there," he said stupidly.
"Don't worry, the sexiness isn't going anywhere." Asland laughed and hung up.
Her heart was racing and she couldn't wait for that night.
