Welcome to This Odd Paradise, chapter 13
Eventually a helicopter landed in the middle of their campsite, and they are were taken out of the trials. It was to complicated anyway. So they all squished into Rae's SUV. It was black and had a couple of cheesy bumper stickers on the bumper. The ride took about 15 minutes. 15 tired, smelly minutes. Everyone stunk of sweat and body odor.
"Rae, would you still talk to me if I had this growing out of my head?" Tre asked. He was holding a stearingwheel lock to his forehead.
"Nope," She simply said.
"Oh," He looked out the window as they slowed down in front of a giagantic house with a perfectly cut lawn, palm trees, and a fountiain in the middle. Everyone's jaw dropped one by one. They pulled in the driveway and Rae parked the car inside the garage. They were slowly getting out of the SUV, still staring at the car and then Tre spoke.
"How did you afford this house?" He asked, still not looking away from it.
"I got an inheritance from my dad. He won the lottery a week before he passed.." she said, trailing off at the last few words. "I have a house in 3 states just like this one."
"Cool, lets go inside, I want to take a bath," Mike said, as he walked towards the front door.
She unlocked the door, and revealed her beautiful home. Charlie ran up to Tre and sniffed his shoes uncontrollably. Then he peed on Tre's leg. He did't even notice until he felt really warm. Then he yelled at Charlie and ran into the shower.
"What are we going to do for clothes?" Billie asked and Adie nodded her head in agreement.
"Ummm, i have some big band T-shirts for the guys, and ill just wash the pants you all are wearing while you take your showers. Adie can fit in my clothes, but they may be a little big on you," she explained.
* * *
Everyone was showered, and they were looking through their luggage for the things that were still intact. Tre opened his suitcase, and Rae looked inside. Her eyes widened at the sight of Tre's cargo. He wiggled his eyebrows at her. Everyone else's stuff was pretty boring so they decided to play truth or dare.
"I'll go first you hooligans!" Tre shouted to everyone. "OK Mikey boy, truth or dare?" He asked.
"Dare!" He said almost immidiately.
"Ok, I dare you to give yourself a swirly!" He said evilly.
"Easy," He said and began to get up, but Tre stopped him.
"After you piss in the toilet first," He said as he grinned.
"But I just got a shower!" Mike whined. "Oh fine"
He completed his dare, and everone sat on the other side of the room, away from the stench of Mike's pee head.
"Ok Rae, truth or dare?" Mike asked her.
"Dare, I'm no pussy." Tre laughed pervertedly.
"Ok, go on your roof naked, and do the hokey pokey loudly, so the whole neighborhood hears," Mike said trying to stop himself from laughing at the thought.
"Fine, c'mon," She said, starting to take off he shirt and go outside. She climbed up the trellis on the side of her house and started dancing and singing loudly. Everyone was laughing so hard as cars passed and stared. She put on her clothes and went inside again.
"That was fun," She commented. "Ok, Billie, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Pansy," Adie muttered.
"What dear?" He asked.
"I said...that's....fancy..?" She said like it was a question.
"Oh, ok."
"Ok Bill, what is the excact length of your gonads?" She asked pervertedly.
"Four inches..." He muttered.
"What was that? I dont think we all heard you clearly," She said, but she obviously heard him the first time.
"FOUR INCHES OKAY?!" He screamed.
"I'm satisfied." She said with a smug look on her face.
"Ok, Tre truth or dare?" Billie asked Tre.
"Dare me mutha fucka!" Tre said in his gangsta voice.
"Ok, hug Rae's pussy," He said.
Tre looked at him weirdly.
"Cat," he finished.
"Oh, ok. Where is she?" Tre asked Rae.
"Under the table I think..." She replied.
Tre pulled the cat from under the table and squeased it against his stomach. It hissed and scratched Tre on his face. He dropped her and ran helplessly to the sink in the kitchen to nurse his cuts. He came back in the room with an icepack on his face.
"I'm going to bed now, " He said and grabbed Rae's arm and pulled her in her bedroom with him. And his suitcase of wonderful things. Adie and Billie Joe shared a guest room and Mike slept on a couch.
"Rae, would you still talk to me if I had this growing out of my head?" Tre asked. He was holding a stearingwheel lock to his forehead.
"Nope," She simply said.
"Oh," He looked out the window as they slowed down in front of a giagantic house with a perfectly cut lawn, palm trees, and a fountiain in the middle. Everyone's jaw dropped one by one. They pulled in the driveway and Rae parked the car inside the garage. They were slowly getting out of the SUV, still staring at the car and then Tre spoke.
"How did you afford this house?" He asked, still not looking away from it.
"I got an inheritance from my dad. He won the lottery a week before he passed.." she said, trailing off at the last few words. "I have a house in 3 states just like this one."
"Cool, lets go inside, I want to take a bath," Mike said, as he walked towards the front door.
She unlocked the door, and revealed her beautiful home. Charlie ran up to Tre and sniffed his shoes uncontrollably. Then he peed on Tre's leg. He did't even notice until he felt really warm. Then he yelled at Charlie and ran into the shower.
"What are we going to do for clothes?" Billie asked and Adie nodded her head in agreement.
"Ummm, i have some big band T-shirts for the guys, and ill just wash the pants you all are wearing while you take your showers. Adie can fit in my clothes, but they may be a little big on you," she explained.
* * *
Everyone was showered, and they were looking through their luggage for the things that were still intact. Tre opened his suitcase, and Rae looked inside. Her eyes widened at the sight of Tre's cargo. He wiggled his eyebrows at her. Everyone else's stuff was pretty boring so they decided to play truth or dare.
"I'll go first you hooligans!" Tre shouted to everyone. "OK Mikey boy, truth or dare?" He asked.
"Dare!" He said almost immidiately.
"Ok, I dare you to give yourself a swirly!" He said evilly.
"Easy," He said and began to get up, but Tre stopped him.
"After you piss in the toilet first," He said as he grinned.
"But I just got a shower!" Mike whined. "Oh fine"
He completed his dare, and everone sat on the other side of the room, away from the stench of Mike's pee head.
"Ok Rae, truth or dare?" Mike asked her.
"Dare, I'm no pussy." Tre laughed pervertedly.
"Ok, go on your roof naked, and do the hokey pokey loudly, so the whole neighborhood hears," Mike said trying to stop himself from laughing at the thought.
"Fine, c'mon," She said, starting to take off he shirt and go outside. She climbed up the trellis on the side of her house and started dancing and singing loudly. Everyone was laughing so hard as cars passed and stared. She put on her clothes and went inside again.
"That was fun," She commented. "Ok, Billie, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Pansy," Adie muttered.
"What dear?" He asked.
"I said...that's....fancy..?" She said like it was a question.
"Oh, ok."
"Ok Bill, what is the excact length of your gonads?" She asked pervertedly.
"Four inches..." He muttered.
"What was that? I dont think we all heard you clearly," She said, but she obviously heard him the first time.
"FOUR INCHES OKAY?!" He screamed.
"I'm satisfied." She said with a smug look on her face.
"Ok, Tre truth or dare?" Billie asked Tre.
"Dare me mutha fucka!" Tre said in his gangsta voice.
"Ok, hug Rae's pussy," He said.
Tre looked at him weirdly.
"Cat," he finished.
"Oh, ok. Where is she?" Tre asked Rae.
"Under the table I think..." She replied.
Tre pulled the cat from under the table and squeased it against his stomach. It hissed and scratched Tre on his face. He dropped her and ran helplessly to the sink in the kitchen to nurse his cuts. He came back in the room with an icepack on his face.
"I'm going to bed now, " He said and grabbed Rae's arm and pulled her in her bedroom with him. And his suitcase of wonderful things. Adie and Billie Joe shared a guest room and Mike slept on a couch.
