Bleed Like Me (Sequel to 'A Taste For Suicidal'), chapter 1
Hello there. My name is Joseph Marciano Armstrong. A little over two weeks ago I was placed in a mental home by choice of my father after he discovered I had been cutting myself. He and my mother had been fighting, but had also been seeking help. My brother was in therapy. My 'help' was a mental home.
Over the course of those two weeks, I met some interesting people. Bailey Renee and her younger sister, my room-mate, Kindra, were quite amusing. I had had a crush on Bailey ever since I laid eyes on her and her sister had a knack for pointing that out.
Melodie Pride was one of my other room-mates. She was an intelligent, gentle girl of sixteen. She had enjoyed reading, possibly even more than I had. I don't know how many books were in our dorm, but she read them all. Her grades were all 'A's too.
Then there was Keith Richards. He was a cocky, sarcastic and not so bright sixteen year-old. I remember how much he loved to flirt with Melodie and how much time he spent on the computer. He had quite a temper and was a force to be reckoned with. I made sure to stay on his good side, you know, so I wouldn't get my ass beat.
Well now that you're all caught up, I think I'll continue my story...
Upon my 15th day at the home I realized that no one from my family had come to visit me yet, and by the time the next day came around I had the sudden urge to cut. I felt like an exile from the real world. I felt unloved. I felt exactly how I used to feel when I was living with my family.
"What are you up to, Rockstar?" Keith questioned. He was watching me closely.
"Uh, I was-"
"You were looking for something sharp so you could give in, weren't you?" he cut me off.
"Well-"
"Don't lie to me."
"Fine. That's precisely what I was doing. Happy?"
"Yeah, 'cause now that I know you won't ever think about it again...Right?"
"...Whatever."
I gave up my search and threw myself onto my bed. Keith turned to the computer. There was a short lived silence, which had been disrupted as soon as Kindra barged inside. She said good morning to us and plopped down on her bed. The T.V. was turned on. I watched her flip through the channels.
"What's new?" I asked, simply trying to spark a conversation.
"Oh, well this kid Frankito and this dude named Billie Joe are downstairs. They want to talk to you." she said.
I didn't even bother to reply. I ran straight out of the room instead. Though I might have tripped some girl who was talking to herself on the stairway, I didn't care. I had to talk to Frankito.
When I arrived at the front office I saw Frankito standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets. He looked a bit frightened. Next to him stood my father, whistling and tapping his foot. He seemed cheery enough, but I could tell he missed me. To be honest with you, I missed him too.
I entered the office and both of them turned to me. My father stopped whistling. His foot tapped slower and slower until it stopped. Frankito removed his hands from his pockets. There was a silence.
"Joseph, I've missed you so much!" my dad exclaimed, pulling me into a hug.
"I've missed you too." I responded.
"Oh my God..." he hugged me tighter, as if afraid I might be blown away. "You have no idea how it is at home. Your mother is worried sick."
I hugged him back. "...Well, did you guys tell Jakob?" I asked.
"No..." he stepped back. "We told him you went to camp."
"Oh..."
I looked down at my shoes. It had just occurred to me how badly I let Jakob down. Even if he didn't know about it, cutting made me a bad role model. I still lied to his face. I still hid something from him.
There was a slight rustling noise that caused me to lift my head. Frankito was moving in for a quick hug. He patted me on the back and then stepped away. I wondered what would happen next.
"Joey...Mike is terribly sorry." he sighed.
I nodded. "If he's so sorry than why isn't he here?" I questioned.
"He...I..." he trailed off.
"I thought so." I said.
"Joseph, he isn't here because...Because he thought you wouldn't forgive him." he told me.
"Frank, didn't I tell you?" my father countered. "Your father, Mike, Estelle, Adrienne, Ramona and Jakob are meeting us for lunch today."
I looked up at him. You could probably tell how excited I was even if you were standing a mile away my smile was so wide. The idea of lunch with everyone washed away the annoying urge to cut as if it had never presented itself. I reminded myself, I really am loved.
Over the course of those two weeks, I met some interesting people. Bailey Renee and her younger sister, my room-mate, Kindra, were quite amusing. I had had a crush on Bailey ever since I laid eyes on her and her sister had a knack for pointing that out.
Melodie Pride was one of my other room-mates. She was an intelligent, gentle girl of sixteen. She had enjoyed reading, possibly even more than I had. I don't know how many books were in our dorm, but she read them all. Her grades were all 'A's too.
Then there was Keith Richards. He was a cocky, sarcastic and not so bright sixteen year-old. I remember how much he loved to flirt with Melodie and how much time he spent on the computer. He had quite a temper and was a force to be reckoned with. I made sure to stay on his good side, you know, so I wouldn't get my ass beat.
Well now that you're all caught up, I think I'll continue my story...
Upon my 15th day at the home I realized that no one from my family had come to visit me yet, and by the time the next day came around I had the sudden urge to cut. I felt like an exile from the real world. I felt unloved. I felt exactly how I used to feel when I was living with my family.
"What are you up to, Rockstar?" Keith questioned. He was watching me closely.
"Uh, I was-"
"You were looking for something sharp so you could give in, weren't you?" he cut me off.
"Well-"
"Don't lie to me."
"Fine. That's precisely what I was doing. Happy?"
"Yeah, 'cause now that I know you won't ever think about it again...Right?"
"...Whatever."
I gave up my search and threw myself onto my bed. Keith turned to the computer. There was a short lived silence, which had been disrupted as soon as Kindra barged inside. She said good morning to us and plopped down on her bed. The T.V. was turned on. I watched her flip through the channels.
"What's new?" I asked, simply trying to spark a conversation.
"Oh, well this kid Frankito and this dude named Billie Joe are downstairs. They want to talk to you." she said.
I didn't even bother to reply. I ran straight out of the room instead. Though I might have tripped some girl who was talking to herself on the stairway, I didn't care. I had to talk to Frankito.
When I arrived at the front office I saw Frankito standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets. He looked a bit frightened. Next to him stood my father, whistling and tapping his foot. He seemed cheery enough, but I could tell he missed me. To be honest with you, I missed him too.
I entered the office and both of them turned to me. My father stopped whistling. His foot tapped slower and slower until it stopped. Frankito removed his hands from his pockets. There was a silence.
"Joseph, I've missed you so much!" my dad exclaimed, pulling me into a hug.
"I've missed you too." I responded.
"Oh my God..." he hugged me tighter, as if afraid I might be blown away. "You have no idea how it is at home. Your mother is worried sick."
I hugged him back. "...Well, did you guys tell Jakob?" I asked.
"No..." he stepped back. "We told him you went to camp."
"Oh..."
I looked down at my shoes. It had just occurred to me how badly I let Jakob down. Even if he didn't know about it, cutting made me a bad role model. I still lied to his face. I still hid something from him.
There was a slight rustling noise that caused me to lift my head. Frankito was moving in for a quick hug. He patted me on the back and then stepped away. I wondered what would happen next.
"Joey...Mike is terribly sorry." he sighed.
I nodded. "If he's so sorry than why isn't he here?" I questioned.
"He...I..." he trailed off.
"I thought so." I said.
"Joseph, he isn't here because...Because he thought you wouldn't forgive him." he told me.
"Frank, didn't I tell you?" my father countered. "Your father, Mike, Estelle, Adrienne, Ramona and Jakob are meeting us for lunch today."
I looked up at him. You could probably tell how excited I was even if you were standing a mile away my smile was so wide. The idea of lunch with everyone washed away the annoying urge to cut as if it had never presented itself. I reminded myself, I really am loved.
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