Bleed Like Me (Sequel to 'A Taste For Suicidal'), chapter 3
Bailey stared at me, a puzzled look across her face. I thought for a second she would take the blade and disappear. She didn't. She just sat there, speechless. Perhaps jealous.
I directed my gaze to the temptation that Mike had bestowed upon me. The blade was gleaming, almost blinding me, and most definatly taunting me. I held it in my right hand and took a shaking breath. The cold tip pressed against my wrist...
"Damn it Mike!" I yelled, throwing the blade down. "You son of a bitch!"
Bailey yelped and I stood up. I stomped on the blade, then paused and cussed under my breath. I knew what he had been trying to do. It was a trick. A trick to help get me to stop. And as far as I could tell, it worked.
"Joey, are you alright?" she questioned tenderly.
I ran my hands through my hair. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I'm fine," I answered.
"... Why'd he give you the blade?" she asked.
"To help me progress towards stopping, I bet." I sighed.
"And you didn't use it because...?" she seemed utterly confused.
"Because that's what he wants," I replied shortly, picking up the blade and tossing it into the waste bin. "Come on, let's go find the others."
She shrugged and got to her feet. The two of us walked out of the dorm, down the hall and through the staircase. We found our three friends chatting on the lawn. Keith had his arm around Melodie's waist, a drink in his other hand. He seemed to be arguing with Kindra. Nothing unusual there.
"Guys!" I shouted. They turned to us.
"Hey Rockstar! You're back!" Kindra shouted back.
"What gave you that idea?" Keith asked her sarcastically. "Well, hurry your ass up!"
I grabbed Bailey's hand and we jogged over to them. Keith handed me his drink, said I could have it and demanded to hear what had happened during lunch. Appearantly he was very interested about rockstars and a suicidal basket case eating together. So I reported most of the day's previous events.
"So your dad looked ashamed?" Keith asked in astonishment. "Ashamed of what? Being seen with you in public?"
"Yeah, I guess," I responded. I took a sip of my pop.
He spat in the grass. "What the fuck is his problem? He made you like that!" he nearly yelled.
"I don't think that's why he was looking, as you described, ashamed," Melodie interupted.
"Excuse me?" I started. "What did you just say?"
"I said I don't think your dad was ashamed because he was seen with you in public. I think he was ashamed because he failed you as a father. He was ashamed of himself," she replied.
How the hell does she do that? , I asked myself. I opened my mouth to retaliate, but Bailey cupped her hand over it. It was probably for the best. No words came to mind. With a sudden feeling of stupidity and selfishness, I realized Melodie was right.
I directed my gaze to the temptation that Mike had bestowed upon me. The blade was gleaming, almost blinding me, and most definatly taunting me. I held it in my right hand and took a shaking breath. The cold tip pressed against my wrist...
"Damn it Mike!" I yelled, throwing the blade down. "You son of a bitch!"
Bailey yelped and I stood up. I stomped on the blade, then paused and cussed under my breath. I knew what he had been trying to do. It was a trick. A trick to help get me to stop. And as far as I could tell, it worked.
"Joey, are you alright?" she questioned tenderly.
I ran my hands through my hair. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I'm fine," I answered.
"... Why'd he give you the blade?" she asked.
"To help me progress towards stopping, I bet." I sighed.
"And you didn't use it because...?" she seemed utterly confused.
"Because that's what he wants," I replied shortly, picking up the blade and tossing it into the waste bin. "Come on, let's go find the others."
She shrugged and got to her feet. The two of us walked out of the dorm, down the hall and through the staircase. We found our three friends chatting on the lawn. Keith had his arm around Melodie's waist, a drink in his other hand. He seemed to be arguing with Kindra. Nothing unusual there.
"Guys!" I shouted. They turned to us.
"Hey Rockstar! You're back!" Kindra shouted back.
"What gave you that idea?" Keith asked her sarcastically. "Well, hurry your ass up!"
I grabbed Bailey's hand and we jogged over to them. Keith handed me his drink, said I could have it and demanded to hear what had happened during lunch. Appearantly he was very interested about rockstars and a suicidal basket case eating together. So I reported most of the day's previous events.
"So your dad looked ashamed?" Keith asked in astonishment. "Ashamed of what? Being seen with you in public?"
"Yeah, I guess," I responded. I took a sip of my pop.
He spat in the grass. "What the fuck is his problem? He made you like that!" he nearly yelled.
"I don't think that's why he was looking, as you described, ashamed," Melodie interupted.
"Excuse me?" I started. "What did you just say?"
"I said I don't think your dad was ashamed because he was seen with you in public. I think he was ashamed because he failed you as a father. He was ashamed of himself," she replied.
How the hell does she do that? , I asked myself. I opened my mouth to retaliate, but Bailey cupped her hand over it. It was probably for the best. No words came to mind. With a sudden feeling of stupidity and selfishness, I realized Melodie was right.
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