Thank You for Everything You've Done, chapter 1
Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep
"Ugh damn alarm clock shut up." I rolled over and shut my alarm clock off.
"Another day of hell, lucky me."
I guess I should tell you about myself. My name is Steph and I'm 16 years old. I go to Pinole Valley High School. I'm one of the so called 'freaks' as the preps would say. Honestly I dont think I'm a freak. The music I listen to is different from all the preps listen to. I listen to punk music. Therefore I'm punk. I live with my mom because my dad died in a car accident. Since my dads death my mom goes to a bar every night and gets drunk. She is always mean to me, but she has never hit me. Which is good. Let's just hope it stays that way. My life is pretty depressing because everyone thinks I'm a freak. Enough about me, back to the story.
Once I got out of bed I went into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I have kinda long brown hair and hazel eyes. I didn't find myself very attractive. After looking in the mirror for a couple of minutes I got in the shower. It felt so good when the water splashed my face. It felt relieving. Once I got out of the shower I went to my dresser and pulled out a pair of black pants and my black Ramones shirt. I put on my converse and headed over to my mirror to put a lot of black eyeliner on. I dont know why but I always liked putting a lot on because it kinda hid me. I finished applying my eyeliner and looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn't fat. But I wasn't as skinny as all the preps. But then again who was? Since my mom was sleeping I went downstairs into the kitchen and put two poptarts in the toaster. While I was waiting for them to pop up I started wondering if today was gonna be any different. Every morning I hoped that my life will get better but it never does. In fact it usually gets worse. My thoughts were disturbed because the toaster popped. I grabbed for the poptarts but they were too hot so I dropped them.
"Shit that's hot." I muttered silently to myself. I looked at the clock, it read 6:50. I was supposed to leave ten minutes ago. I wont have enough time to make more poptarts so I grabbed my backpack and made my way to school. Everyday at school it was the same thing over and over again. I got to school when I heard someone call my name. I immediately realized who it was and kept on walking. I tried walking away but they grabbed me and pushed my up against the wall of the school. Oh great, it was Josh; the leader of the group.
"Dont you EVER ignore me again got it?"
"Let go of my Josh." I tried wriggling free but his grip was too tight. He noticed that I was trying to get free so he pushed my up against the wall harder. By now there was a small crowd around me, Josh, and his group of friends. This happened every single fucking day. There was nothing I could do though that would stop it because if I told on him then when I wasn't on school grounds Josh would beat me up. I was so fed up with being bullied I screamed at Josh.
"Josh let the fuck go of me! I'm sick of you pushing me around every single day!"
I pulled up my sleeves and showed him my arms. There was cuts on them. When I did that I heard the crows grasp and some people called me a freak.
"This is what you do to me! Are you happy?"
Josh looked at me and said,
"You think a couple of cuts on your arms is gonna stop me? I'm only giving you what you deserve punk!"
Then he raised his fist and punched me in the face. It hurt so bad. I touched my face with my hand where he punched me and saw blood on my hand. Then he kicked me right in the stomach. The kick was so hard I fell back. I couldn't help myself, I started to cry.
"I think you learned your lesson freak, never talk to me like that again!"
His friends started laughing at my. Once everyone left I gathered up all my stuff that people threw out of my backpack. I walked into school when I remembered I was still bleeding, so I went into the bathroom and washed my face off. My face had a bruise on it. Remembering that I also got kicked in the stomach I lifted up my shirt and saw that a bruise was already forming. I looked in the mirror again to see my eyeliner all smudged because I had been crying. I guess today was gonna be like any other day. There's been so many times I've wanted to end all of this. Besides, noone loves me. I have no friends, all the teachers are mean to me. My dad dies. He was the one person who loved me. My mom is never home and when she is home she is always acting like a bitch. The one way that relieves the pain is by cutting myself. I dont cut very often but once in awhile the pain is too much to handle. Once I was done in the bathroom I walked to class. I glanced up at one of the clocks in the hallway. It read 7:37, I was nearly 45 minutes late. Wow I was in the bathroom longer than I thought. I walked in the class and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared ay me.
"Nice of you to join us Steph," Mr. Pullen said to me.
"Sorry, I went to the bathroom because I didnt feel so good."
Lame excuse I know, but I couldn't tell him what really happened and even if I did I doubt he would care.
"Yeah you don't look so good either. I'll see you after school today miss." Mr. Pullen said with a sarcastic tone. The class started laughing. I walked to the way back of the class and sat in a desk. Usually the desks around me were empty but today the one next to me wasn't. The person had black hair. He had black pants on, black Ramones shirt, and black converse on. I had never seen him before. As I sat down we smiled at each other. God his smile was to die for. He also had the best green eyes. Knowing that I was probably blushing I looked away. For the rest of the class all I did was doodle on my notebook and think about him. I didn't know anything about him other than he was a punk like me. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bell. I got up from my seat and went to my locker. On my way to my locker everyone was pushing into me and calling my a freak. Sometimes I think I was put on this earth just to get tortured. Once I got to my locker I put my stuff away and grabbed my lunch. Lunch was probably my favorite part of the day because everyone was busy catching up with their friends so they didnt have time to bother me.
**
The bell rang for the school day to end.
"Great, now I have an hour detention with a teacher who hates me guts." I walked in the classroom to find Mr. Pullen sitting at his desk.
"Steph take a seat anywhere you want."
"Ok."
I decided to take a seat in the back of the class. I didn't have any homework so I just sat in my desk. Once I was seated I stared out of the window. I wanted to be outside, not in here. But there's nothing I could do because if I left detention I would have to have another one tomorrow. As I was staring out the window I heard me name get called. I turned my head so it was facing the front of the room. Mr. Pullen was pointing to me while talking to some guy. I realized that that guy was the same guy that I sat next to in first hour class......
"Ugh damn alarm clock shut up." I rolled over and shut my alarm clock off.
"Another day of hell, lucky me."
I guess I should tell you about myself. My name is Steph and I'm 16 years old. I go to Pinole Valley High School. I'm one of the so called 'freaks' as the preps would say. Honestly I dont think I'm a freak. The music I listen to is different from all the preps listen to. I listen to punk music. Therefore I'm punk. I live with my mom because my dad died in a car accident. Since my dads death my mom goes to a bar every night and gets drunk. She is always mean to me, but she has never hit me. Which is good. Let's just hope it stays that way. My life is pretty depressing because everyone thinks I'm a freak. Enough about me, back to the story.
Once I got out of bed I went into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I have kinda long brown hair and hazel eyes. I didn't find myself very attractive. After looking in the mirror for a couple of minutes I got in the shower. It felt so good when the water splashed my face. It felt relieving. Once I got out of the shower I went to my dresser and pulled out a pair of black pants and my black Ramones shirt. I put on my converse and headed over to my mirror to put a lot of black eyeliner on. I dont know why but I always liked putting a lot on because it kinda hid me. I finished applying my eyeliner and looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn't fat. But I wasn't as skinny as all the preps. But then again who was? Since my mom was sleeping I went downstairs into the kitchen and put two poptarts in the toaster. While I was waiting for them to pop up I started wondering if today was gonna be any different. Every morning I hoped that my life will get better but it never does. In fact it usually gets worse. My thoughts were disturbed because the toaster popped. I grabbed for the poptarts but they were too hot so I dropped them.
"Shit that's hot." I muttered silently to myself. I looked at the clock, it read 6:50. I was supposed to leave ten minutes ago. I wont have enough time to make more poptarts so I grabbed my backpack and made my way to school. Everyday at school it was the same thing over and over again. I got to school when I heard someone call my name. I immediately realized who it was and kept on walking. I tried walking away but they grabbed me and pushed my up against the wall of the school. Oh great, it was Josh; the leader of the group.
"Dont you EVER ignore me again got it?"
"Let go of my Josh." I tried wriggling free but his grip was too tight. He noticed that I was trying to get free so he pushed my up against the wall harder. By now there was a small crowd around me, Josh, and his group of friends. This happened every single fucking day. There was nothing I could do though that would stop it because if I told on him then when I wasn't on school grounds Josh would beat me up. I was so fed up with being bullied I screamed at Josh.
"Josh let the fuck go of me! I'm sick of you pushing me around every single day!"
I pulled up my sleeves and showed him my arms. There was cuts on them. When I did that I heard the crows grasp and some people called me a freak.
"This is what you do to me! Are you happy?"
Josh looked at me and said,
"You think a couple of cuts on your arms is gonna stop me? I'm only giving you what you deserve punk!"
Then he raised his fist and punched me in the face. It hurt so bad. I touched my face with my hand where he punched me and saw blood on my hand. Then he kicked me right in the stomach. The kick was so hard I fell back. I couldn't help myself, I started to cry.
"I think you learned your lesson freak, never talk to me like that again!"
His friends started laughing at my. Once everyone left I gathered up all my stuff that people threw out of my backpack. I walked into school when I remembered I was still bleeding, so I went into the bathroom and washed my face off. My face had a bruise on it. Remembering that I also got kicked in the stomach I lifted up my shirt and saw that a bruise was already forming. I looked in the mirror again to see my eyeliner all smudged because I had been crying. I guess today was gonna be like any other day. There's been so many times I've wanted to end all of this. Besides, noone loves me. I have no friends, all the teachers are mean to me. My dad dies. He was the one person who loved me. My mom is never home and when she is home she is always acting like a bitch. The one way that relieves the pain is by cutting myself. I dont cut very often but once in awhile the pain is too much to handle. Once I was done in the bathroom I walked to class. I glanced up at one of the clocks in the hallway. It read 7:37, I was nearly 45 minutes late. Wow I was in the bathroom longer than I thought. I walked in the class and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared ay me.
"Nice of you to join us Steph," Mr. Pullen said to me.
"Sorry, I went to the bathroom because I didnt feel so good."
Lame excuse I know, but I couldn't tell him what really happened and even if I did I doubt he would care.
"Yeah you don't look so good either. I'll see you after school today miss." Mr. Pullen said with a sarcastic tone. The class started laughing. I walked to the way back of the class and sat in a desk. Usually the desks around me were empty but today the one next to me wasn't. The person had black hair. He had black pants on, black Ramones shirt, and black converse on. I had never seen him before. As I sat down we smiled at each other. God his smile was to die for. He also had the best green eyes. Knowing that I was probably blushing I looked away. For the rest of the class all I did was doodle on my notebook and think about him. I didn't know anything about him other than he was a punk like me. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bell. I got up from my seat and went to my locker. On my way to my locker everyone was pushing into me and calling my a freak. Sometimes I think I was put on this earth just to get tortured. Once I got to my locker I put my stuff away and grabbed my lunch. Lunch was probably my favorite part of the day because everyone was busy catching up with their friends so they didnt have time to bother me.
**
The bell rang for the school day to end.
"Great, now I have an hour detention with a teacher who hates me guts." I walked in the classroom to find Mr. Pullen sitting at his desk.
"Steph take a seat anywhere you want."
"Ok."
I decided to take a seat in the back of the class. I didn't have any homework so I just sat in my desk. Once I was seated I stared out of the window. I wanted to be outside, not in here. But there's nothing I could do because if I left detention I would have to have another one tomorrow. As I was staring out the window I heard me name get called. I turned my head so it was facing the front of the room. Mr. Pullen was pointing to me while talking to some guy. I realized that that guy was the same guy that I sat next to in first hour class......
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