You Got Me On My Knees, chapter 13
My five dream jobs.
Anastasia and me had never really sat down and talked. I never wanted to, even though whenever we met it was more than obvious that her eyes were begging me to be friends with her. Since Mike was gone I felt more up to it so I called her and asked if she wanted to get some coffee with me.
1. NME journalist 1976-1979
Get to meet the Clash, the Sex Pistols, Chrissie Hynde, Danny Baker etc. Get loads of free records-good ones too. Go on to host my own quiz show or something.
Ok I lied. I wouldn't have told Anastasia to get coffee with me if Mike hadn't called me first thing in the morning asking if I was ok.
"Yes I'm fine." I answered. "How are you?"
"You totally need to hear this: Guess what I found in a record store in New York!"
"What?"
"A rare Beatles, butcher cover, signed by George Harrison copy of 'Yesterday and Today'!" I screamed and kept saying "Oh my fucking God." until Mike suggested explaining. "I was casually going through the classic section and when I saw it I almost tore the place down. It was nearly impossible not to yell my lungs out. Nobody had any idea that this would cost thousands!"
2. Producer, Atlantic Records 1964-1971 (approx)
Get to meet Aretha, Wilson Pickett, Solomon Burke etc. Get loads of free records(probably)-good ones too. Make piles of money.
I was laughing so much my stomach was hurting and the color of my face was something between a questionable tomato and an R rated movie's back cover.
"Imagine if there was someone who was the wife of one of the most obsessed collectors ever and she found out that he was cheating on her and gave all his records away for free!"
"God! Would you take them?"
"I don't know... I'd feel so sorry for the guy."
"What if he had 'You Left the Water Running' by Otis Redding?"
"Fuck that would be hard to resist!" I cried.
"Tell me about it. I would probably take it."
"Well Mike you have something with the same if not more value in your collection now. I am insanely jealous of you."
"No I'm the one who's jealous."
"What do you mean?"
"The record is yours."
3. Any kind of musician (apart from classical or rap)
Speaks for itself. But I'd have settled just for being one of the Memphis Horns-I'm not asking to be Hendrix or Jagger or Otis Redding.
"No Mike." I was ready to cry now.
"Yes El. Something like that belongs to your collection."
"Why?"
"Because it's classy! All your records are awesome. I have a lot of crap. I don't deserve such holly thing."
"I simply can't accept it. Please don't make me accept this."
"It's signed by George!"
"Mike! I can't!"
"But I want you to have it. I bought it for you. If you don't take it then I'll give it to the first person I see on the street. How does that sound?"
4. Film director
Again, any kind, although preferably not German or silent.
"I got to go now El."
"I can not thank you enough." There was a pause there.
"Don't worry about it. Billie and Tre say hello."
"Tell them I'll call them later."
"Sure. Bye."
"Mike?"
"Yeah."
"This means so much to me."
"I uh, I'm glad."
5. Architect.
A surprise entry at number 5, I know, but I used to be quite good at technical drawing at school.
So all that pretty much explains why I was now on my way to Mike's house to pick up the woman who was married to him even though he loved me and I loved him, listening to Otis Redding as I was driving there with my make up in a indescribable condition because of the unbearable amount of tears that were going down my face per second. Oh the old days.
However I had to make Mike as happy as I could by getting along with his wife (who was his wife even though he loved me etc. Etc. ) Might as well give it a shot.
Anastasia and me had never really sat down and talked. I never wanted to, even though whenever we met it was more than obvious that her eyes were begging me to be friends with her. Since Mike was gone I felt more up to it so I called her and asked if she wanted to get some coffee with me.
1. NME journalist 1976-1979
Get to meet the Clash, the Sex Pistols, Chrissie Hynde, Danny Baker etc. Get loads of free records-good ones too. Go on to host my own quiz show or something.
Ok I lied. I wouldn't have told Anastasia to get coffee with me if Mike hadn't called me first thing in the morning asking if I was ok.
"Yes I'm fine." I answered. "How are you?"
"You totally need to hear this: Guess what I found in a record store in New York!"
"What?"
"A rare Beatles, butcher cover, signed by George Harrison copy of 'Yesterday and Today'!" I screamed and kept saying "Oh my fucking God." until Mike suggested explaining. "I was casually going through the classic section and when I saw it I almost tore the place down. It was nearly impossible not to yell my lungs out. Nobody had any idea that this would cost thousands!"
2. Producer, Atlantic Records 1964-1971 (approx)
Get to meet Aretha, Wilson Pickett, Solomon Burke etc. Get loads of free records(probably)-good ones too. Make piles of money.
I was laughing so much my stomach was hurting and the color of my face was something between a questionable tomato and an R rated movie's back cover.
"Imagine if there was someone who was the wife of one of the most obsessed collectors ever and she found out that he was cheating on her and gave all his records away for free!"
"God! Would you take them?"
"I don't know... I'd feel so sorry for the guy."
"What if he had 'You Left the Water Running' by Otis Redding?"
"Fuck that would be hard to resist!" I cried.
"Tell me about it. I would probably take it."
"Well Mike you have something with the same if not more value in your collection now. I am insanely jealous of you."
"No I'm the one who's jealous."
"What do you mean?"
"The record is yours."
3. Any kind of musician (apart from classical or rap)
Speaks for itself. But I'd have settled just for being one of the Memphis Horns-I'm not asking to be Hendrix or Jagger or Otis Redding.
"No Mike." I was ready to cry now.
"Yes El. Something like that belongs to your collection."
"Why?"
"Because it's classy! All your records are awesome. I have a lot of crap. I don't deserve such holly thing."
"I simply can't accept it. Please don't make me accept this."
"It's signed by George!"
"Mike! I can't!"
"But I want you to have it. I bought it for you. If you don't take it then I'll give it to the first person I see on the street. How does that sound?"
4. Film director
Again, any kind, although preferably not German or silent.
"I got to go now El."
"I can not thank you enough." There was a pause there.
"Don't worry about it. Billie and Tre say hello."
"Tell them I'll call them later."
"Sure. Bye."
"Mike?"
"Yeah."
"This means so much to me."
"I uh, I'm glad."
5. Architect.
A surprise entry at number 5, I know, but I used to be quite good at technical drawing at school.
So all that pretty much explains why I was now on my way to Mike's house to pick up the woman who was married to him even though he loved me and I loved him, listening to Otis Redding as I was driving there with my make up in a indescribable condition because of the unbearable amount of tears that were going down my face per second. Oh the old days.
However I had to make Mike as happy as I could by getting along with his wife (who was his wife even though he loved me etc. Etc. ) Might as well give it a shot.
