You Got Me On My Knees, chapter 17
You see those pictures of people in Pompeii and you think how weird: one quick game of dice after your tea and you're frozen and that's how people remember you for the next few thousands of years. Suppose it was the first game of dice you've ever played? Suppose you were only doing it to keep your friend Augustus company? Suppose you'd just at that moment finished a brilliant poem or something? Wouldn't it be annoying to be commemorated as a dice player?
I always hated it when dad did this to me. He could yell and say that he's worried for my future and instead every time I did something wrong he would sit staring at me without saying a word.
"Dad I know that this is not ideal for you but I do love Mike. And I know that you love him too so things are going to work out eventually I promise."
"He has a daughter."
"I know."
"And he has a wife."
"I know that too." And I also knew that I'd been screwing around with his best friend for six months and that Mike was cheating on his wife with me.
"Layla this is disappointing." Yep he was going for the whole thing.
"Dad Mike wants to marry me."
"Yes and I'm thrilled about that. From the moment I saw you two getting fond of each other I had the hope that one day you'll fall in love and get married."
"We did fall in love."
"Yes but it doesn't matter does it? He is married and a father and you wanting to change that is bad." The only person of my family that I had the tiniest expectation to understand me was at the completely wrong direction.
"I don't feel great about this either but I'm going to do it whether you like it or not. It would just be better if I got your support. You know that I love you more than anyone in this house."
My dad sighed. It wasn't a sad sigh though. He was sort of saying "I know you too well and you're not going to give up" I smiled and got up to give him a kiss on the cheek.
"Stubborn girl."
"Like my daddy."
Estelle woke up very late the next day and the minute she did she ran to her father's lap.
"How are you today, baby?" Mike asked her and held her tightly close to him, giving her a kiss on her forehead. I smiled, familiar with the specific move.
"Good." The little girl replied. "Where is Ellie?"
"I'm here honey!" I yelled from the kitchen. "My sister and I are making brownies for everyone!"
"I like brownies! ' she yelled happily. I smiled and told her that she was going to get the bigger one. Have I mentioned how much I loved Estelle?
Mike called me to come and join the two of them for a moment and of course I was well aware of what our conversation was going to be about. We exchanged a look of nervousness as I sat opposite of them.
"Estelle I have to ask you something." Mike started and Estelle looked at him.
"Do you love Ellie?" The young girl blushed and smiled.
"Yes." She murmured and looked down.
"How much you love Ellie?" Mike insisted.
"Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat much." Estelle stretched her arms as much as she could. That was better than expected.
"So would you like it if she lived with us?" That's when we lost her.
She started screaming and jumping up and down the house like we had told her that Mickey Mouse was going to stay with her. This was a fucking miracle.
"So Stella you wouldn't mind if I came to live with you and daddy?"
"Would you stay forever?"
"Uuum... " I looked at Mike and he grinned at me. "Yeah I think so."
"Then yes I want you to come stay with us!" Alright that was enough for one day. We had Estelle's approval we were good to go.
Books are a dream world for me. They are able of sucking you in to different universes, theories, stories... I used to read a lot more when I was younger because I needed that rescue.
"The Fountainhead." I heard Loraine's voice and looked up to see her.
"Yeah it's great I'll lend it to you if you want."
"That's okay I'm busy with wedding plans this period."
"Yeah right. Just one more month... "
"So why do you want to screw up Mike's life?"
"Excuse me?" Hey, since when did I have to give my sister a report of my life? It was difficult enough having to deal with Estelle and Anastasia.
"You know you'll break up with him eventually and when you do, he'll be divorced and a single parent."
"And may I ask how you are so sure that we're not going to last?"
"You've never been in a relationship for more than a year."
"Yeah maybe... "
"Having a good time is all you care about!"
"Hey Lor! Enough attacking me! I've been in love with Mike since I was fucking fifteen."
"Language!"
"Fucking stop behaving like you are my fucking mom!"
"Yeah like you have any respect for her!"
"I'm not fighting you!" I screamed. "Mike and I are crazy about each other! I love him and he loves me and we've suffered enough already! So I'm not willing to apologize to anyone you hear me? We're going to be together and that's it. Fucking period." Loraine didn't say a word after this. She left my room exhaling strongly and I buried my face in my pillow, crying until Mike came.
"Hey... " he whispered and rubbed my back.
"Everyone in this house thinks I'm a failure."
"I don't." he kissed my shoulder. I turned around to face him and he wiped my tears away. "You know you cry a lot. I don't like that."
"Sorry it just happens."
"You're stronger than that baby ok?"
I smiled and rested my head on his chest sighing. "If they didn't want us to be together why were they acting like this yesterday when we left for the cinema? They seemed all happy and tense."
"I had told them about rebuilding the place and your mom said she would kill to see the look on your face when you saw it."
"Oh." That simple. And I thought they knew and had no problem.
"El? We're going to leave first thing in the morning and then everything will be fine alright?" Mike tried to comfort me. Pretty good. I nodded and kissed him once again
"Alright Mikey. Everything will be fine."
We had a lot of explaining to do once we got back.
Mike and I agreed that we should both tell everyone about our decision because that seemed to be easier and I promised him that once we were done with it I would take him and Estelle somewhere to find peace of mind. Sort of a mini-break.
Billie and Tre were first.
To be completely honest, being friends with benefits with Billie was the only thing I was going to miss. He had a way of calming me down and bringing the better side out of me.
To my great surprise and relief however there was no yelling and no blaming from our friends. It took them a second or so to absorb it but once they did they hugged us and told us that as long as we were happy that was all that mattered.
Two down, one to go.
How the hell were we supposed to tell Anastasia? I tried putting myself in her place and it all seemed fucking pointless. But we had to do it so that we could be together.
Mike had to go alone to this one. She was his wife and they needed to talk alone and then maybe I would help.
"Mikey everything is going to be fine. You told me so right?" I tried lifting up his spirits.
"I know it's difficult but think that once it's over that's it. We're together for ever." He looked at me and smiled.
"By for ever I mean until you get sick of me." I continued.
"So it's more than for ever? Interesting."
I laughed and kissed him to wish him good luck. He left and I started becoming really nervous about it all. What if she didn't want to divorce him? What if she wanted Estelle? God if she wanted Estelle I would have to break up with him again because I could never do that to the poor little girl. Or Mike. What if she hated me so much she wanted me dead?
I started crying, realizing that Mike was right; I had been doing it a lot lately.
"Hey, El what's going on you were happy ten minutes ago." Billie sat next to me.
"She is not going to give Mike up so easily." I said in a tearful voice.
"Anastasia you mean?"
I nodded. "So what?" Billie asked, bringing my hair out of my face.
"You're going to get over all that because you'll have Mike no matter what." He comforted me.
"And you'll also have me and Tre and we all love you." He said, kissing, my cheek sweetly.
"Did I hear someone mentioning my name?" Tre came in my room, with two boxes of pizza and coke.
"Come here you wanker El needs some cheering up."
"Billie always swears at me." He complained and sat on my bed, opening the boxes.
"Eat your troubles away my love."
I always hated it when dad did this to me. He could yell and say that he's worried for my future and instead every time I did something wrong he would sit staring at me without saying a word.
"Dad I know that this is not ideal for you but I do love Mike. And I know that you love him too so things are going to work out eventually I promise."
"He has a daughter."
"I know."
"And he has a wife."
"I know that too." And I also knew that I'd been screwing around with his best friend for six months and that Mike was cheating on his wife with me.
"Layla this is disappointing." Yep he was going for the whole thing.
"Dad Mike wants to marry me."
"Yes and I'm thrilled about that. From the moment I saw you two getting fond of each other I had the hope that one day you'll fall in love and get married."
"We did fall in love."
"Yes but it doesn't matter does it? He is married and a father and you wanting to change that is bad." The only person of my family that I had the tiniest expectation to understand me was at the completely wrong direction.
"I don't feel great about this either but I'm going to do it whether you like it or not. It would just be better if I got your support. You know that I love you more than anyone in this house."
My dad sighed. It wasn't a sad sigh though. He was sort of saying "I know you too well and you're not going to give up" I smiled and got up to give him a kiss on the cheek.
"Stubborn girl."
"Like my daddy."
Estelle woke up very late the next day and the minute she did she ran to her father's lap.
"How are you today, baby?" Mike asked her and held her tightly close to him, giving her a kiss on her forehead. I smiled, familiar with the specific move.
"Good." The little girl replied. "Where is Ellie?"
"I'm here honey!" I yelled from the kitchen. "My sister and I are making brownies for everyone!"
"I like brownies! ' she yelled happily. I smiled and told her that she was going to get the bigger one. Have I mentioned how much I loved Estelle?
Mike called me to come and join the two of them for a moment and of course I was well aware of what our conversation was going to be about. We exchanged a look of nervousness as I sat opposite of them.
"Estelle I have to ask you something." Mike started and Estelle looked at him.
"Do you love Ellie?" The young girl blushed and smiled.
"Yes." She murmured and looked down.
"How much you love Ellie?" Mike insisted.
"Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat much." Estelle stretched her arms as much as she could. That was better than expected.
"So would you like it if she lived with us?" That's when we lost her.
She started screaming and jumping up and down the house like we had told her that Mickey Mouse was going to stay with her. This was a fucking miracle.
"So Stella you wouldn't mind if I came to live with you and daddy?"
"Would you stay forever?"
"Uuum... " I looked at Mike and he grinned at me. "Yeah I think so."
"Then yes I want you to come stay with us!" Alright that was enough for one day. We had Estelle's approval we were good to go.
Books are a dream world for me. They are able of sucking you in to different universes, theories, stories... I used to read a lot more when I was younger because I needed that rescue.
"The Fountainhead." I heard Loraine's voice and looked up to see her.
"Yeah it's great I'll lend it to you if you want."
"That's okay I'm busy with wedding plans this period."
"Yeah right. Just one more month... "
"So why do you want to screw up Mike's life?"
"Excuse me?" Hey, since when did I have to give my sister a report of my life? It was difficult enough having to deal with Estelle and Anastasia.
"You know you'll break up with him eventually and when you do, he'll be divorced and a single parent."
"And may I ask how you are so sure that we're not going to last?"
"You've never been in a relationship for more than a year."
"Yeah maybe... "
"Having a good time is all you care about!"
"Hey Lor! Enough attacking me! I've been in love with Mike since I was fucking fifteen."
"Language!"
"Fucking stop behaving like you are my fucking mom!"
"Yeah like you have any respect for her!"
"I'm not fighting you!" I screamed. "Mike and I are crazy about each other! I love him and he loves me and we've suffered enough already! So I'm not willing to apologize to anyone you hear me? We're going to be together and that's it. Fucking period." Loraine didn't say a word after this. She left my room exhaling strongly and I buried my face in my pillow, crying until Mike came.
"Hey... " he whispered and rubbed my back.
"Everyone in this house thinks I'm a failure."
"I don't." he kissed my shoulder. I turned around to face him and he wiped my tears away. "You know you cry a lot. I don't like that."
"Sorry it just happens."
"You're stronger than that baby ok?"
I smiled and rested my head on his chest sighing. "If they didn't want us to be together why were they acting like this yesterday when we left for the cinema? They seemed all happy and tense."
"I had told them about rebuilding the place and your mom said she would kill to see the look on your face when you saw it."
"Oh." That simple. And I thought they knew and had no problem.
"El? We're going to leave first thing in the morning and then everything will be fine alright?" Mike tried to comfort me. Pretty good. I nodded and kissed him once again
"Alright Mikey. Everything will be fine."
We had a lot of explaining to do once we got back.
Mike and I agreed that we should both tell everyone about our decision because that seemed to be easier and I promised him that once we were done with it I would take him and Estelle somewhere to find peace of mind. Sort of a mini-break.
Billie and Tre were first.
To be completely honest, being friends with benefits with Billie was the only thing I was going to miss. He had a way of calming me down and bringing the better side out of me.
To my great surprise and relief however there was no yelling and no blaming from our friends. It took them a second or so to absorb it but once they did they hugged us and told us that as long as we were happy that was all that mattered.
Two down, one to go.
How the hell were we supposed to tell Anastasia? I tried putting myself in her place and it all seemed fucking pointless. But we had to do it so that we could be together.
Mike had to go alone to this one. She was his wife and they needed to talk alone and then maybe I would help.
"Mikey everything is going to be fine. You told me so right?" I tried lifting up his spirits.
"I know it's difficult but think that once it's over that's it. We're together for ever." He looked at me and smiled.
"By for ever I mean until you get sick of me." I continued.
"So it's more than for ever? Interesting."
I laughed and kissed him to wish him good luck. He left and I started becoming really nervous about it all. What if she didn't want to divorce him? What if she wanted Estelle? God if she wanted Estelle I would have to break up with him again because I could never do that to the poor little girl. Or Mike. What if she hated me so much she wanted me dead?
I started crying, realizing that Mike was right; I had been doing it a lot lately.
"Hey, El what's going on you were happy ten minutes ago." Billie sat next to me.
"She is not going to give Mike up so easily." I said in a tearful voice.
"Anastasia you mean?"
I nodded. "So what?" Billie asked, bringing my hair out of my face.
"You're going to get over all that because you'll have Mike no matter what." He comforted me.
"And you'll also have me and Tre and we all love you." He said, kissing, my cheek sweetly.
"Did I hear someone mentioning my name?" Tre came in my room, with two boxes of pizza and coke.
"Come here you wanker El needs some cheering up."
"Billie always swears at me." He complained and sat on my bed, opening the boxes.
"Eat your troubles away my love."
