You Got Me On My Knees, chapter 18
You know the worst thing about being rejected? The lack of control. If I could only control the when and how of being dumped by somebody, then it wouldn't seem as bad. But then, of course, it wouldn't be rejection would it? It would be by mutual consent. It would be leaving to pursue a solo career. I know how unbelievably and pathetically childish it is to push and push like this for some degree of probability but it's the only thing I can do to grab any sort of control back from her.
As soon as I heard the door opening I ran to see Mike and hear the news. Billie and Tre followed, Tre losing his balance and falling off, taking Billie down with him.
"So?" I asked, no I screamed, in anticipation.
"She will divorce me." Mike breathed and opened his arms for me to hug him. I got a bit carried away and jumped on him, shouting so we too fell on the floor, kissing each other. "Glad you took it so well."
Mike joked once we broke away.
"She didn't try to kill you did she?" I asked.
"Well there was some yelling and some screaming and a tiny bit of crying. It wasn't pleasant."
"But she doesn't want Estelle right?"
"No. I think you love my daughter more than her." I smirked and nodded.
"But there's a step back." God, here it came. "She wants the house."
"What?" I shouted surprised and got up.
"What?" Tre and Billie followed.
"She says that it's either that or Estelle. And I'm pretty sure that if we go to court she'll get the child."
Hey that wasn't fair! Mike had bought this house before he even met Anastasia. It was our house! Our memories! She couldn't take them away. Damn.
"Hey... " Mike whispered and embraced me. "It's not a big deal. Let her have the house. We'll buy a new one even better." He kissed me on the lips and I forgot the reason I was upset.
"Awww!"
We heard Tre saying and then saw him hugging Billie. "You guys are so cute together."
"We know." I said laughing and then turned back to Mike. "Grab your bags mister we're going away."
"Where are you going?" Billie asked.
"We're all going. I don't want you to think that just because I've gotten me a man I will forget about my best buds."
Tre and Billie looked at each other and then started cheering and jumping, reminding me of Estelle when we asked her if she wanted me to come live with her and Mike.
"Go pack everyone! We're pissing it all away."
Billie went in his room and Tre left, saying that he would be back in an hour or so.
As soon as we were left alone, Mike and I grinned at each other.
"See?" he said. "I told you everything was going to be alright."
"Our new house better have a swimming pool or I'm breaking up with you." I joked.
"Fair enough."
"And a big big big place to put our records."
"Sure." He kissed my cheek.
"Where are we going anyway?" he wondered.
"I have no idea. Let's just take Estelle and the Refusing-To-Grow-Up twins to the airport and grab the first flight."
"Adventurous. I like it. Let's go."
"Sure. Oh and I love you by the way"
"Yeah I am afraid I'm going to need to hear that at least three times per hour to believe it, I'm sorry."
Tre could never get lyrics right. Every time he would mess it up and then he would start saying whatever he thought that rhymed. It was priceless.
"London calling... To the underworld... Out of your covers you boys and girls... All this funny Beatle mania has eaten a crust... London calling... "
"What is Tre saying?" Estelle wondered.
"Once you're a bit older you'll understand that there is no way to understand a single thing of what Tre says." I answered to her. She seemed confused. She was getting it.
"London calling... "
"Hey El you know what? Once we land we should go and rent every English film existing. It would be great." Billie suggested.
"London Calling... "
"Sure. And then we can go and rob Harrods!"
"It's a plan!"
"London Calling... "
I threw my magazine at Tre. "Shut up or learn how to sing properly."
"Fine spoilsport." I laughed at him and then saw Mike, having his headphones up and leaning on his seat with his eyes closed. I told Estelle to go sit with Tre and Billie for a while and then I stroked his hand with mine to get him to look at me.
"Our new house is going to have a big garden for Estelle to play." I whispered at him.
"And our bedroom is going to be so beautiful that none of us will ever want to leave." He giggled and gently placed his lips on my forehead.
"And I'm going to give you space for all your crazy collections." He promised. I collect things it's another addiction of mine. I'll explain later
"You know London being the first flight to leave was fate." I told him.
"How's that?"
"Well it's my favorite city and I've never been there before so I'm given the chance to visit it with the man of my life, his daughter and my best friends."
"We heard that!" Billie shouted.
"We love you too El!"
I called them both sick stalkers. Things finally seemed to be getting better.
I woke up to see Mike breathing in and out, his mouth slightly opened and his arms hugging his pillow like it was a treasure he didn't want to lose. I smiled to myself and kissed his nose before turning around, to go back to sleep.
"El?" I heard him whispering.
"What?"
"What time is it?"
"Still early. Go back to sleep baby."
"Estelle?"
"She's sleeping too I checked on her."
"Okay."
We were in England for two weeks and when we had left California we were only planning on going away for a mini break.
I fell in love with London, obviously. We had gone everywhere, from the Royal Albert Hall to street theater in Soho to every single one record store we found. It was also Estelle's first trip so we all did anything we could to make her happy.
Mike was still sleeping when I woke up for the second time. I got up and went to get breakfast from downstairs to feed him in bed since I knew that there was nothing he liked more than someone taking care of him like he was king.
Billie was also downstairs, eating.
"You woke up early." I told him. "Miracle."
"Yeah it must be the weather or something." He joked. I laughed and grabbed two plates. Billie was constantly looking at my "friends with benefits" tattoo and I tried ignoring him but if there's one thing I despise is a person staring at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing."
"You want to say something."
"No I don't."
"Okay then. I'm going back upstairs." I turned around to leave but Billie called my name before I was able to take a step further.
"You're gonna move out once we get back hugh?" he asked, his voice getting softer.
Of course he wasn't okay with this.
No matter how meaningless the sex is there is always a connection. Always.
"Beej... " I took his face in my hands and brought him closer to kiss his hair.
"You're my best bud no matter what. We might not be friends with benefits anymore but we're still best friends. And we'll always be best friends right? Who else is going to crack me up with all his fucked up jokes 24 hours a day except for Tre and you?"
Billie smirked and hugged me and I promised myself that I was going to spend more time with him because first of all I never wanted to be one of those girls who ditch their friends just because they have a hot boyfriend and second of all Billie was the last person I wanted to hurt.
He had his way of entertaining me from the first time we met that night when I went to see Green Day with Loraine.
Mike was the first to come and say hello as we had had our little moment in my room when we talked about him having a band and me reading a lot. Billie however had come just some minutes later, holding three beers, one half drunk for him, one for Mike and... One for me. I thought it was so nice of him to bring me a beer when he didn't even know my name that I couldn't help but liking him immediately.
"Layla is a nice name."
"Thanks. I kinda hate it though."
"Me too I was lying." That was the first joke he ever said to me. Classy right?
"Well I don't have any nicknames so you're free to give me one and use it."
He had felt very very special with that privilege but unfortunately the best thing he came up with was Lay lay and it made me spit my beer to laugh.
"Ok we will call you El." Mike suggested. "How does it sound?" And that was the first time I noticed his eyes sparkling.
"El is pretty good. My family hates nicknames. You'll be the only ones to call me that." And as they say the rest is history. (I hate that line by the way)
"I love England!" Mike said, taking a bite of hot brownies and then kissing my lips.
I giggled and kissed back. "We've been here for so long that I'm feeling like it's our home." I told him.
"We'll come back so soon that you're not even going to realize we were gone." He promised. "Bite please." I fed him some more brownies.
"I think I'll have finished with my novel by the end of the month." He gave me a doubtful look.
"Really?"
"Yeah. There are just a few things I need to add and it's done." He smiled proudly at me and gave me a soft lips on the neck before getting up, saying that he needed to give me something.
"I know that you said I wasn't supposed to bring the laptop with me but I wanted to make you this." He handed me a CD with the words "Songs I Like Because I Love You" on it.
"And that is... "
"And that is your reward for being an awesome girlfriend and the world's greatest best friend."
Okay I'm going to stop saying 'he kissed me' or 'I kissed him' or anything similar just because with Mike and me there are always a LOT of kisses and my narrating becomes kind of tiring. There was a pretty decent make out session to say it in other words and afterwards Mike went to wake up his daughter and I started listening to all the songs he liked because he loved me.
I spent hours putting that cassette together. To me making a tape is like writing a letter-there's a lot of erasing and rethinking and starting again and I wanted it to be a good one because... To be honest, because I hadn't met anyone as promising as Laura since I'd started the DJing and meeting promising women was partly what the DJing was supposed to be about.
First song of the CD: Layla by Eric Clapton. Right; it is the reason I was named like that after all.
Second: Let Me Roll It by Paul McCartney and The Wings. You already know I love that song.
Third: She Caught The Katy. One of my favorites. Mike hadn't even heard of the Blues Brothers before we met.
Fourth: Cherry Bomb by the Runaways. He had once said that it reminds him of me. Nice song.
Fifth: I Love You by the Ramones. The title says it all
Sixth: I'm Walking on Sunshine. I always sing it when I'm happy. Don't know why don't know how.
Seventh: The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra. We were drunk one night and I had said that I wouldn't care how somebody looked like, if he dedicated me this song I would love him forever. I didn't even remember.
Oh yes... I was loved and I was happy and I was... Late.
As soon as I heard the door opening I ran to see Mike and hear the news. Billie and Tre followed, Tre losing his balance and falling off, taking Billie down with him.
"So?" I asked, no I screamed, in anticipation.
"She will divorce me." Mike breathed and opened his arms for me to hug him. I got a bit carried away and jumped on him, shouting so we too fell on the floor, kissing each other. "Glad you took it so well."
Mike joked once we broke away.
"She didn't try to kill you did she?" I asked.
"Well there was some yelling and some screaming and a tiny bit of crying. It wasn't pleasant."
"But she doesn't want Estelle right?"
"No. I think you love my daughter more than her." I smirked and nodded.
"But there's a step back." God, here it came. "She wants the house."
"What?" I shouted surprised and got up.
"What?" Tre and Billie followed.
"She says that it's either that or Estelle. And I'm pretty sure that if we go to court she'll get the child."
Hey that wasn't fair! Mike had bought this house before he even met Anastasia. It was our house! Our memories! She couldn't take them away. Damn.
"Hey... " Mike whispered and embraced me. "It's not a big deal. Let her have the house. We'll buy a new one even better." He kissed me on the lips and I forgot the reason I was upset.
"Awww!"
We heard Tre saying and then saw him hugging Billie. "You guys are so cute together."
"We know." I said laughing and then turned back to Mike. "Grab your bags mister we're going away."
"Where are you going?" Billie asked.
"We're all going. I don't want you to think that just because I've gotten me a man I will forget about my best buds."
Tre and Billie looked at each other and then started cheering and jumping, reminding me of Estelle when we asked her if she wanted me to come live with her and Mike.
"Go pack everyone! We're pissing it all away."
Billie went in his room and Tre left, saying that he would be back in an hour or so.
As soon as we were left alone, Mike and I grinned at each other.
"See?" he said. "I told you everything was going to be alright."
"Our new house better have a swimming pool or I'm breaking up with you." I joked.
"Fair enough."
"And a big big big place to put our records."
"Sure." He kissed my cheek.
"Where are we going anyway?" he wondered.
"I have no idea. Let's just take Estelle and the Refusing-To-Grow-Up twins to the airport and grab the first flight."
"Adventurous. I like it. Let's go."
"Sure. Oh and I love you by the way"
"Yeah I am afraid I'm going to need to hear that at least three times per hour to believe it, I'm sorry."
Tre could never get lyrics right. Every time he would mess it up and then he would start saying whatever he thought that rhymed. It was priceless.
"London calling... To the underworld... Out of your covers you boys and girls... All this funny Beatle mania has eaten a crust... London calling... "
"What is Tre saying?" Estelle wondered.
"Once you're a bit older you'll understand that there is no way to understand a single thing of what Tre says." I answered to her. She seemed confused. She was getting it.
"London calling... "
"Hey El you know what? Once we land we should go and rent every English film existing. It would be great." Billie suggested.
"London Calling... "
"Sure. And then we can go and rob Harrods!"
"It's a plan!"
"London Calling... "
I threw my magazine at Tre. "Shut up or learn how to sing properly."
"Fine spoilsport." I laughed at him and then saw Mike, having his headphones up and leaning on his seat with his eyes closed. I told Estelle to go sit with Tre and Billie for a while and then I stroked his hand with mine to get him to look at me.
"Our new house is going to have a big garden for Estelle to play." I whispered at him.
"And our bedroom is going to be so beautiful that none of us will ever want to leave." He giggled and gently placed his lips on my forehead.
"And I'm going to give you space for all your crazy collections." He promised. I collect things it's another addiction of mine. I'll explain later
"You know London being the first flight to leave was fate." I told him.
"How's that?"
"Well it's my favorite city and I've never been there before so I'm given the chance to visit it with the man of my life, his daughter and my best friends."
"We heard that!" Billie shouted.
"We love you too El!"
I called them both sick stalkers. Things finally seemed to be getting better.
I woke up to see Mike breathing in and out, his mouth slightly opened and his arms hugging his pillow like it was a treasure he didn't want to lose. I smiled to myself and kissed his nose before turning around, to go back to sleep.
"El?" I heard him whispering.
"What?"
"What time is it?"
"Still early. Go back to sleep baby."
"Estelle?"
"She's sleeping too I checked on her."
"Okay."
We were in England for two weeks and when we had left California we were only planning on going away for a mini break.
I fell in love with London, obviously. We had gone everywhere, from the Royal Albert Hall to street theater in Soho to every single one record store we found. It was also Estelle's first trip so we all did anything we could to make her happy.
Mike was still sleeping when I woke up for the second time. I got up and went to get breakfast from downstairs to feed him in bed since I knew that there was nothing he liked more than someone taking care of him like he was king.
Billie was also downstairs, eating.
"You woke up early." I told him. "Miracle."
"Yeah it must be the weather or something." He joked. I laughed and grabbed two plates. Billie was constantly looking at my "friends with benefits" tattoo and I tried ignoring him but if there's one thing I despise is a person staring at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing."
"You want to say something."
"No I don't."
"Okay then. I'm going back upstairs." I turned around to leave but Billie called my name before I was able to take a step further.
"You're gonna move out once we get back hugh?" he asked, his voice getting softer.
Of course he wasn't okay with this.
No matter how meaningless the sex is there is always a connection. Always.
"Beej... " I took his face in my hands and brought him closer to kiss his hair.
"You're my best bud no matter what. We might not be friends with benefits anymore but we're still best friends. And we'll always be best friends right? Who else is going to crack me up with all his fucked up jokes 24 hours a day except for Tre and you?"
Billie smirked and hugged me and I promised myself that I was going to spend more time with him because first of all I never wanted to be one of those girls who ditch their friends just because they have a hot boyfriend and second of all Billie was the last person I wanted to hurt.
He had his way of entertaining me from the first time we met that night when I went to see Green Day with Loraine.
Mike was the first to come and say hello as we had had our little moment in my room when we talked about him having a band and me reading a lot. Billie however had come just some minutes later, holding three beers, one half drunk for him, one for Mike and... One for me. I thought it was so nice of him to bring me a beer when he didn't even know my name that I couldn't help but liking him immediately.
"Layla is a nice name."
"Thanks. I kinda hate it though."
"Me too I was lying." That was the first joke he ever said to me. Classy right?
"Well I don't have any nicknames so you're free to give me one and use it."
He had felt very very special with that privilege but unfortunately the best thing he came up with was Lay lay and it made me spit my beer to laugh.
"Ok we will call you El." Mike suggested. "How does it sound?" And that was the first time I noticed his eyes sparkling.
"El is pretty good. My family hates nicknames. You'll be the only ones to call me that." And as they say the rest is history. (I hate that line by the way)
"I love England!" Mike said, taking a bite of hot brownies and then kissing my lips.
I giggled and kissed back. "We've been here for so long that I'm feeling like it's our home." I told him.
"We'll come back so soon that you're not even going to realize we were gone." He promised. "Bite please." I fed him some more brownies.
"I think I'll have finished with my novel by the end of the month." He gave me a doubtful look.
"Really?"
"Yeah. There are just a few things I need to add and it's done." He smiled proudly at me and gave me a soft lips on the neck before getting up, saying that he needed to give me something.
"I know that you said I wasn't supposed to bring the laptop with me but I wanted to make you this." He handed me a CD with the words "Songs I Like Because I Love You" on it.
"And that is... "
"And that is your reward for being an awesome girlfriend and the world's greatest best friend."
Okay I'm going to stop saying 'he kissed me' or 'I kissed him' or anything similar just because with Mike and me there are always a LOT of kisses and my narrating becomes kind of tiring. There was a pretty decent make out session to say it in other words and afterwards Mike went to wake up his daughter and I started listening to all the songs he liked because he loved me.
I spent hours putting that cassette together. To me making a tape is like writing a letter-there's a lot of erasing and rethinking and starting again and I wanted it to be a good one because... To be honest, because I hadn't met anyone as promising as Laura since I'd started the DJing and meeting promising women was partly what the DJing was supposed to be about.
First song of the CD: Layla by Eric Clapton. Right; it is the reason I was named like that after all.
Second: Let Me Roll It by Paul McCartney and The Wings. You already know I love that song.
Third: She Caught The Katy. One of my favorites. Mike hadn't even heard of the Blues Brothers before we met.
Fourth: Cherry Bomb by the Runaways. He had once said that it reminds him of me. Nice song.
Fifth: I Love You by the Ramones. The title says it all
Sixth: I'm Walking on Sunshine. I always sing it when I'm happy. Don't know why don't know how.
Seventh: The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra. We were drunk one night and I had said that I wouldn't care how somebody looked like, if he dedicated me this song I would love him forever. I didn't even remember.
Oh yes... I was loved and I was happy and I was... Late.
