You Got Me On My Knees, chapter 22
If someone knew that he'd wake up one day and it would be the worst day of his life he probably wouldn't get out of bed; he probably would force himself to stay asleep until the day passed. But who would guarantee to him that he wouldn't get a heart attack while he was dreaming or that there wasn't going to be a terrible earthquake causing the ceiling to fall on his head?
As I always said you simply don't stand a single fucking chance against fate.
I usually enjoy my birthday but today I don't feel so good about it. Birthdays should be suspended in years like this one: there should be a law, of man if not of nature, that you are only allowed to age when things are ticking along nicely.
So it was Billie's birthday and the perfect chance for me and him making up. Mike was in Anastasia's house (I'm still having difficulty calling it like that though) to spend the day with Estelle, Beej was going to be in a slightly better mood and I didn't have morning sickness as I was now over my third month of pregnancy.
I sneaked in his room while he was sleeping and hang a drawing that said "Happy B-day Billie Joe!" on his door (How original right?) and then I made a very generous breakfast for him and me. I had carefully chosen my clothes so that my "Friends With Benefits" tattoo would be showing in all its glory and Billie would not see the "L&M" one even if he tried. (Sleeveless turtleneck. And my favourite jeans.)
To my relief Billie came out of his room smirking.
"What's all this shit?" he asked.
"Shit? Well thanks very much."
"You know what I mean." He growled but couldn't control his grin.
"It's a birthday good morning. And a way of saying 'Dude I love you and I want to be friends with you until I'm too fucking old to walk. Or sit. Or speak.'"
Billie laughed and pulled me in a tight hug.
"Fucking asshole." I muttered and kissed his shoulder.
"You know you really have to cut out the cursing. Not setting a very good example for Mr. Unknown over here." He patted my belly and I got away giggling.
"Everybody seems to think I'm going to have a boy." I claimed, covering my stomach as if I was defending the baby's right to be a girl.
I would love a girl anyway. Estelle would have a little sister and I would buy my daughter dolls and other girl toys and I would tell her stories about fairies and witches and maybe fall asleep next to her and then Mike would cover us both with a pink blanket and the song "My Girl" would be on... the thought of it made me want to cry.
"So birthday boy... eat the hell out of your breakfast and then I'm gonna take you shopping!"
"Fuck yeah!" Billie cried and sat down.
They say that you start showing once the fourth month is over. Yet I could swear that the whole world knew that I was pregnant to Mike Dirnt's baby once Billie and I went out. Everyone was staring at me. Either they smiled or they just glanced at me oddly.
"Do I have something on me that causes all this?" I wondered desperately.
"Yep. Pregnancy glow." No way I was glowing. I was sweaty and my feet hurt and I was smelling bacon from somewhere and I had to pee in the next ten seconds or so or I would die.
"Fuck off." Maybe Billie had a fair point about the swearing thingy. Imagine the whole "My Girl" scene I nicely rambled about before, and my daughter saying "Mom fuck off" once she realized I was sleeping on her bed?
"Really babe you're glowing." I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Honey!" I gave Mike a kiss and hugged him, hesitantly looking around to see if anybody was staring at us (fine I'm pathetic I admit it.)
"Hey BJ!" Mike soon let go of me to wish his best friend happy birthday. The two of them exchanged a hug and laughed like idiots once they pulled away.
"Hey boys... " I butted in. "Not that I want to interrupt your Buzz and Woody moment but I don't think I ever was in a more urgent condition to um... use the ladies' room so could you carry on in that cafeteria over there?" I pointed at it.
"Sure." And we walked towards there, Billie questioning Mike how did he know where we'd be and Mike replying that I had mentioned that I'd take him shopping.
I ran to the bathroom and stayed there until both Mike and Billie got worried and came to check on me.
I couldn't tell whether their shocked faces were due to the amount of blood they were seeing or the expression of my face which I'm guessing was pure tragedy.
As I always said you simply don't stand a single fucking chance against fate.
I usually enjoy my birthday but today I don't feel so good about it. Birthdays should be suspended in years like this one: there should be a law, of man if not of nature, that you are only allowed to age when things are ticking along nicely.
So it was Billie's birthday and the perfect chance for me and him making up. Mike was in Anastasia's house (I'm still having difficulty calling it like that though) to spend the day with Estelle, Beej was going to be in a slightly better mood and I didn't have morning sickness as I was now over my third month of pregnancy.
I sneaked in his room while he was sleeping and hang a drawing that said "Happy B-day Billie Joe!" on his door (How original right?) and then I made a very generous breakfast for him and me. I had carefully chosen my clothes so that my "Friends With Benefits" tattoo would be showing in all its glory and Billie would not see the "L&M" one even if he tried. (Sleeveless turtleneck. And my favourite jeans.)
To my relief Billie came out of his room smirking.
"What's all this shit?" he asked.
"Shit? Well thanks very much."
"You know what I mean." He growled but couldn't control his grin.
"It's a birthday good morning. And a way of saying 'Dude I love you and I want to be friends with you until I'm too fucking old to walk. Or sit. Or speak.'"
Billie laughed and pulled me in a tight hug.
"Fucking asshole." I muttered and kissed his shoulder.
"You know you really have to cut out the cursing. Not setting a very good example for Mr. Unknown over here." He patted my belly and I got away giggling.
"Everybody seems to think I'm going to have a boy." I claimed, covering my stomach as if I was defending the baby's right to be a girl.
I would love a girl anyway. Estelle would have a little sister and I would buy my daughter dolls and other girl toys and I would tell her stories about fairies and witches and maybe fall asleep next to her and then Mike would cover us both with a pink blanket and the song "My Girl" would be on... the thought of it made me want to cry.
"So birthday boy... eat the hell out of your breakfast and then I'm gonna take you shopping!"
"Fuck yeah!" Billie cried and sat down.
They say that you start showing once the fourth month is over. Yet I could swear that the whole world knew that I was pregnant to Mike Dirnt's baby once Billie and I went out. Everyone was staring at me. Either they smiled or they just glanced at me oddly.
"Do I have something on me that causes all this?" I wondered desperately.
"Yep. Pregnancy glow." No way I was glowing. I was sweaty and my feet hurt and I was smelling bacon from somewhere and I had to pee in the next ten seconds or so or I would die.
"Fuck off." Maybe Billie had a fair point about the swearing thingy. Imagine the whole "My Girl" scene I nicely rambled about before, and my daughter saying "Mom fuck off" once she realized I was sleeping on her bed?
"Really babe you're glowing." I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Honey!" I gave Mike a kiss and hugged him, hesitantly looking around to see if anybody was staring at us (fine I'm pathetic I admit it.)
"Hey BJ!" Mike soon let go of me to wish his best friend happy birthday. The two of them exchanged a hug and laughed like idiots once they pulled away.
"Hey boys... " I butted in. "Not that I want to interrupt your Buzz and Woody moment but I don't think I ever was in a more urgent condition to um... use the ladies' room so could you carry on in that cafeteria over there?" I pointed at it.
"Sure." And we walked towards there, Billie questioning Mike how did he know where we'd be and Mike replying that I had mentioned that I'd take him shopping.
I ran to the bathroom and stayed there until both Mike and Billie got worried and came to check on me.
I couldn't tell whether their shocked faces were due to the amount of blood they were seeing or the expression of my face which I'm guessing was pure tragedy.
