You Got Me On My Knees, chapter 5
"Hey Layla! Haven't seen you here for a while."
"Hey Mark. How are you?" Mark was my tattoo-guy. His mother had told him that if he got a tattoo she would cut him off, so he opened a tattoo shop instead.
"I'm fine. What is it this time? And where do you want it?" I sat on my favorite chair and gave him the drawing.
"L&M?" He asked curiously.
"Yeah and a heart around it." I requested.
"L is for Layla that much I can figure out... is M that Mike bloke you live with? Or is it me? Do you have a crush on me?"
"I'm not living with him anymore... " I said softly. "Look, are you going to tattoo me or are you going to talk shit?"
"Fine! Where do you want it?" I took off my blouse and touched the place between my breasts. "Here."
"On the heart. Touching." Mark laughed and went to bring his stuff. Four tattoos; and I was still afraid when the needle came close to my skin. It always hurt like hell but I always felt proud of myself when it was over. Every one of them had a history behind it.
My 'Guns'n'Roses' one, on my stomach. My dad used to play 'Sweet Child o' Mine' to me all the time when I was younger so I got it as a tribute to him. My first one.
I had the name 'Estelle' on my lower back. When I was five I went into this crazy period when I wanted every body to call me Estelle because there was a cartoon princess named like that and I was obsessed with her. My sister still calls me that some times.
I had a lizard with a crown on, on my left ankle. If you find out this symbolism you rock.
Finally my last one was on my thigh. It said "I'm Making Monsters for My Friends." A title for a Ramones song I was never able to understand no matter how many times I heard it.
And now this one, a tattoo for Mike as I had promised him.
"So where do you live now?" Mark asked trying to distract me not to look at the needle.
"I moved back with my parents." I yelped and tightened my grip of his hand as he was hurting me more than before. "Easy, I'm almost done." He reassured me.
"Okay... " I breathed. How could women go through labor? It hurts twenty times more than this. "How is it living with them again?"
"Nightmare. It never was good though. I love them and everything but... " I screamed and then moaned. My tattoo was ready. "There you go." I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. My skin was red but it seemed beautiful.
"Thanks buddy." I gave Mark a kiss on the cheek and handed him his money. "See you." Mark saluted me. "Yeah you'll see me soon." I winked and put on my blouse.
"Mom is not going to be happy about this." I mumbled as I walked back home.
"Hey honey I made breakfast. Come on." Mom talked as if she hadn't noticed I was asleep. "I'm not hungry." I mumbled and turned around, ignoring her.
"Come on sweetie... " she sat on my bed and started shaking me. "You got to eat a nice breakfast so that you'll work hard on that novel. I read some of it and it's great." I looked up at her with wide eyes and remembered once again why I didn't want to live with her.
"You read some of it? How?"
"Well you had left your laptop open so... "
"MOM!" I got up angrily, forgetting I had slept in my underwear. "You are not supposed to go through my stuff!"
"Did you get more tattoos?" Mom had freaked out when she found out the 'Estelle' one so I just stopped showing them to her.
"Yeah but that's irrelevant." I grabbed my sheet and wrapped it around me. I didn't want to live there anymore. "Mom, please don't ever look at my novel again. It's bad luck."
"You were letting Mike see it!" Mom snapped.
"Mike was different." I sighed and started searching for my clothes. I would go apartment hunting. I couldn't stay longer with them.
"Loraine helped to get your harp from the attic. You could refresh your skills... " mom suggested as I was putting on my jeans.
"Mom I was never good at playing the harp; it was something you wanted me to do and I just didn't want to disappoint you. And when did Loraine get here?"
"She's in the kitchen having breakfast. I told you to come too but... " I didn't let her continue as I ran to greet my big sister.
"Hey girl!" she opened her arms and pulled me in a hug. "How are you Lor?"
"I'm good. How are you? You holding up?" she asked sympathetically. Jesus I wasn't sick! "Yeah everything is fine. Where's Richard?" Richard was her fiancé. Blonde, clean, lawyer, Harvard graduate type of person. "Business." She replied rolling her eyes.
"How is your boyfriend? Oh, right I forgot you broke up. Anyway wanna go shopping later?" My big sister ladies and gentlemen. First she reminds me of the fact that I hadn't seen Mike in four months and then she asks if I want to go shopping with her as if she doesn't know that our clothes taste is completely different.
"I'd love to but there are some things I got to do today."
"Oh come on sugar. I think your wardrobe needs an update." Mom tried to encourage me.
"It's okay I can update it by myself. I have work to do."
I quickly said goodbye and left, not wanting to have to go through the conversation of what's 'in' and what's not one more time.
I missed Mike like crazy. Not just sexually (I really missed him like that too); I missed the way I felt like home around him. I missed hanging out with Billie and Tre and I missed talking about music and concerts and songs and I missed waking up to the sound of "Brown Sugar" from Mike's room and I missed eating those muffins he bought every morning.
I loved every part of him that it made me crazy thinking that I would never get to experience this life again. And that somebody else would.
Luckily I found somewhere to stay. My childhood best friend, David happened to pass by the neighborhood two days after I had decided that if I stayed with my parents any longer I would kill myself and after catching up he told me that his place was big enough for one more person.
What I didn't know of course was that his 'place' was a huge house with over twenty rooms and fourteen other people. His parents were rich and preferred spending their time in Europe so David now owned their 'place' in California.
I loved how crowded it was; Mike's house was pretty big too but we had guests very rarely (except Billie and Tre but they were practically living with us) so that was a pleasant change. There were people everywhere. Not too good for me when it comes to focusing to finish my novel but I was really enjoying myself and it helped me start the "getting over the love of my life" process.
"Hey Mark. How are you?" Mark was my tattoo-guy. His mother had told him that if he got a tattoo she would cut him off, so he opened a tattoo shop instead.
"I'm fine. What is it this time? And where do you want it?" I sat on my favorite chair and gave him the drawing.
"L&M?" He asked curiously.
"Yeah and a heart around it." I requested.
"L is for Layla that much I can figure out... is M that Mike bloke you live with? Or is it me? Do you have a crush on me?"
"I'm not living with him anymore... " I said softly. "Look, are you going to tattoo me or are you going to talk shit?"
"Fine! Where do you want it?" I took off my blouse and touched the place between my breasts. "Here."
"On the heart. Touching." Mark laughed and went to bring his stuff. Four tattoos; and I was still afraid when the needle came close to my skin. It always hurt like hell but I always felt proud of myself when it was over. Every one of them had a history behind it.
My 'Guns'n'Roses' one, on my stomach. My dad used to play 'Sweet Child o' Mine' to me all the time when I was younger so I got it as a tribute to him. My first one.
I had the name 'Estelle' on my lower back. When I was five I went into this crazy period when I wanted every body to call me Estelle because there was a cartoon princess named like that and I was obsessed with her. My sister still calls me that some times.
I had a lizard with a crown on, on my left ankle. If you find out this symbolism you rock.
Finally my last one was on my thigh. It said "I'm Making Monsters for My Friends." A title for a Ramones song I was never able to understand no matter how many times I heard it.
And now this one, a tattoo for Mike as I had promised him.
"So where do you live now?" Mark asked trying to distract me not to look at the needle.
"I moved back with my parents." I yelped and tightened my grip of his hand as he was hurting me more than before. "Easy, I'm almost done." He reassured me.
"Okay... " I breathed. How could women go through labor? It hurts twenty times more than this. "How is it living with them again?"
"Nightmare. It never was good though. I love them and everything but... " I screamed and then moaned. My tattoo was ready. "There you go." I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. My skin was red but it seemed beautiful.
"Thanks buddy." I gave Mark a kiss on the cheek and handed him his money. "See you." Mark saluted me. "Yeah you'll see me soon." I winked and put on my blouse.
"Mom is not going to be happy about this." I mumbled as I walked back home.
"Hey honey I made breakfast. Come on." Mom talked as if she hadn't noticed I was asleep. "I'm not hungry." I mumbled and turned around, ignoring her.
"Come on sweetie... " she sat on my bed and started shaking me. "You got to eat a nice breakfast so that you'll work hard on that novel. I read some of it and it's great." I looked up at her with wide eyes and remembered once again why I didn't want to live with her.
"You read some of it? How?"
"Well you had left your laptop open so... "
"MOM!" I got up angrily, forgetting I had slept in my underwear. "You are not supposed to go through my stuff!"
"Did you get more tattoos?" Mom had freaked out when she found out the 'Estelle' one so I just stopped showing them to her.
"Yeah but that's irrelevant." I grabbed my sheet and wrapped it around me. I didn't want to live there anymore. "Mom, please don't ever look at my novel again. It's bad luck."
"You were letting Mike see it!" Mom snapped.
"Mike was different." I sighed and started searching for my clothes. I would go apartment hunting. I couldn't stay longer with them.
"Loraine helped to get your harp from the attic. You could refresh your skills... " mom suggested as I was putting on my jeans.
"Mom I was never good at playing the harp; it was something you wanted me to do and I just didn't want to disappoint you. And when did Loraine get here?"
"She's in the kitchen having breakfast. I told you to come too but... " I didn't let her continue as I ran to greet my big sister.
"Hey girl!" she opened her arms and pulled me in a hug. "How are you Lor?"
"I'm good. How are you? You holding up?" she asked sympathetically. Jesus I wasn't sick! "Yeah everything is fine. Where's Richard?" Richard was her fiancé. Blonde, clean, lawyer, Harvard graduate type of person. "Business." She replied rolling her eyes.
"How is your boyfriend? Oh, right I forgot you broke up. Anyway wanna go shopping later?" My big sister ladies and gentlemen. First she reminds me of the fact that I hadn't seen Mike in four months and then she asks if I want to go shopping with her as if she doesn't know that our clothes taste is completely different.
"I'd love to but there are some things I got to do today."
"Oh come on sugar. I think your wardrobe needs an update." Mom tried to encourage me.
"It's okay I can update it by myself. I have work to do."
I quickly said goodbye and left, not wanting to have to go through the conversation of what's 'in' and what's not one more time.
I missed Mike like crazy. Not just sexually (I really missed him like that too); I missed the way I felt like home around him. I missed hanging out with Billie and Tre and I missed talking about music and concerts and songs and I missed waking up to the sound of "Brown Sugar" from Mike's room and I missed eating those muffins he bought every morning.
I loved every part of him that it made me crazy thinking that I would never get to experience this life again. And that somebody else would.
Luckily I found somewhere to stay. My childhood best friend, David happened to pass by the neighborhood two days after I had decided that if I stayed with my parents any longer I would kill myself and after catching up he told me that his place was big enough for one more person.
What I didn't know of course was that his 'place' was a huge house with over twenty rooms and fourteen other people. His parents were rich and preferred spending their time in Europe so David now owned their 'place' in California.
I loved how crowded it was; Mike's house was pretty big too but we had guests very rarely (except Billie and Tre but they were practically living with us) so that was a pleasant change. There were people everywhere. Not too good for me when it comes to focusing to finish my novel but I was really enjoying myself and it helped me start the "getting over the love of my life" process.
