Christie Road, chapter 7

"I'm getting scared, they can never keep secrets from us," I said to Chloe half an hour later when Billie, Tre and Mike still hadn't told us why they were taking us out.

"Me too. Who are you and what have you done with Green Day?" she asked them.

Billie laughed but didn't answer. I scowled, folding my arms across my chest and slumping back into the padded restaurant booth. Billie's arm was resting on the top of it. A waiter walked up to us. His light blonde hair had a perfect side parting and he had a diamond stud in his ear. Billie raised his eyebrow as the man began to speak, his voice a slow, bored drawl that gave the impression that he thought he was better than you and you weren't worth his time.

"Hello," he said, "My name's Harold and I'll be your waiter for this evening. If you want anything feel free to ask."

"Hi, I'm Tre and I'll be your customer for this evening. And don't worry we'll be sure to ask if we want anything," Tre said, smiling innocently. Harold raised his eyebrows at Tre who managed to succeed in keeping a straight face, which the rest of us were having trouble with.

"May I take your orders?" Harold turned away from Tre, looking at the rest of us. Billie grinned up at him.

"Sure, what ya want babe?" he turned to look at me. I placed my order, followed by Chloe, Mike and Tre. When it came to Billie he scanned the menu.

"What comes with the vegetarian lasagne?" he asked.

"It says on the menu sir," Harold managed just to say the last word. Billie's grin widened.

"I can't read."

"You just read the menu."

"Nope, I assumed you'd have vegetarian lasagne," Harold's eyes narrowed.

"It comes with mixed vegetables and potatoes."

"Okay, I'll take that. And a bottle of you're most expensive wine, and what ever anyone else wants to drink," we all laughed and handed our menus to the fuming Harold who stormed off, flicking his non existent fringe away from his eyes.

"So...you gonna tell us why you're spending money, which could be used to buy me a new mirror, on Chloe and I?" I asked. Billie looked down sheepishly and sighed. Then he gave a small nod and raised his head. His eyes met mine and I stared into the emerald green.

"We're going on tour," he said. I stared, my smile faltering but I tried to keep it on, this was good right?

"For how long?" I asked through the fake smile.

"Six months," I looked away from him. I felt his hand rest on my thigh and squeeze. My mind raced. Could I trust Billie for six months? Could I handle being alone for that long? I looked up at him and fake smiled again.

"Great. When do you leave?" My voice sounded too cheerful and I knew none of them were buying my act.

"Tomorrow," Oh shit. I pressed the heels of my hands into eyes, trying to stem the tears that had begun to form. I breathed in deeply. Billie's hand moved from my thigh to my shoulders. I shrugged it off quickly and stood up.

"I need a smoke. I'll just be outside," I explained and walked off briskly.

It was drizzling when I stepped outside so I stood under the canopy overhanging the restaurant entrance and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. I extracted one and lit it. Inhaling deeply I leaned against the brick wall. I closed my eyes and blew out the smoke.

"You got a lighter?" came Billie's voice. I nodded and pulled it out handing it to him without opening my eyes. I heard him move closer, felt him take the lighter and then felt him slump back against the wall next to me. Moments past in silence.

"I'm sorry," he said finally. I opened my eyes and turned to look at him.

"For what?"

"The tour," he said and carried on before I could interrupt. "It's really unfair. You barely spoke to me for a month, then we make up and then two days later I have to leave for six months." I chuckled at the irony. "I asked if you could come with me but they said no," I smiled. Then sighed. How could I tell Billie I didn't trust him? "What are you thinking?" he asked.

"That you're gonna hate me in a minute," I replied.

"Why?" I took a deep breath.

"I don't know if I trust you for that long," I blurted out. He recoiled as if I'd hit him and the hurt was clear to see in his eyes. "It's just, you'll be having so much fun and then one night you might get drunk and fuck the first girl who offers herself to you," I continued. The hurt stayed.

"So what are you saying?" Billie asked tentatively. "We should end it?"

"No," Tears sprung up in my eyes and dribbled down my cheeks. "I don't know, I just...I just wish there was some way of making sure you didn't cheat on me or of getting me to trust you. God, I sound so fucking selfish. It's just, I find it hard to trust people," I looked up at him through my tears.

"I didn't cheat on you last month when you weren't talking to me," he defended.
"That was one month, this is six." I shivered as the rain hardened and a chill wind blew up. I placed my fag to my lips again and watched the end glow orange as I sucked the smoke in. He turned his body so it was facing mine, his hand on the wall.

"Come every month then. I'm sure I can last that long without the need to fuck any whores, though if I do find myself dangerously close to it, I'll simply get Tre in," I giggled.

"That's still cheating," I told him, placing my hand on his chest.

"Really? Shit. I'm screwed," he grinned at me. "C'mon, I'm getting cold," he said as he lead me back inside the restaurant.

I sighed as Billie moved from on top of me and turned to face him.

"You know," I whispered through the darkness, "this is the last night we'll spend together for a month," I ran my finger across his cheek, a hand rested on his chest. He moaned.

"You had to remind me right?" I giggled.

"I'm trying to make you feel as bad as possible about leaving me."

"You're such a bitch," he mumbled quietly. I moved closer to him and his arms wrapped round me.

"Yep. Always have been always will be."

"True," I hit him and he laughed. I sighed into his chest.

"I'm gonna miss you," I said quietly.

"Shush. Go to sleep," he murmured trailing a finger up and down my back. I sighed again and closed my eyes. I felt sleep wash over me and I moved ever closer to the warm body next to me.

"Babe?" someone whispered. I opened my eyes slowly. "We're going soon," Billie said. I nodded and he walked out. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Grabbing some clothes I pulled them on and walked downstairs, looking and feeling shit. I could see Billie talking to some girls outside. They were grinning, flicking they're hair and generally just flirting with my boyfriend. I sighed and walked outside. I spotted Chloe and Tre in the middle of a goodbye kiss and smiled to myself, how sweet they looked. I walked over to Billie and the girls stopped talking.

"Hey, you're up!" Billie said, wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him back, trying my hardest not to cry.

"I had to say goodbye," I whispered into his chest.

"You did that last night," he murmured in my ear. I smiled and looked up at him.

"I love you," I said, kissing his lips.

"I love you too," he replied as our lips made contact again. And then I was crying.

"Hey," he whispered, "don't cry, please? It makes it hell for me." I laughed through my tears and clung onto his shirt.

"Please don't go," I begged, tightening my grip on the material. "Please." He looked at me uncomfortably, pain in his eyes.

"I have to," he said gently. I bit my bottom lip, trying to stop another sob from surfacing. I didn't say anything else, simply clung onto him for as long as possible. Then Tre called his name and he let go of me. Our lips met briefly, "I love you," he whispered and walked away. Chloe and I stood back as the mobile library started up and then it drove off. The two girls who had been talking to Billie were eyeing me and whispering so I turned and walked back inside, pain searing through me at the thought that I would not be able to touch Billie, to hold him, to kiss him, to feel his breath against my skin for a month. I flopped down in a chair and Chloe sat opposite me.

"Getting to sleep is gonna be hell," I said. She grinned.

"You won't have your good night fuck."

"I know. How am I gonna manage?" I smiled at her.

"I'll keep you occupied!"

"Chloe that's wrong!" She laughed.

The days slipped by and after a couple of weeks the pain had ebbed away and I could fall asleep at night without wishing Billie was there. Chloe and I had endless girls nights in, bitching about the boys and girls at what used to be our school. I began to think, during these bitching sessions about what I was gonna do with my life. Being at home all day everyday was beginning to get quite boring and I began contemplating the idea of going to college, simply for something to do. I talked it over with Chloe and began to find information on different colleges in the region. I found one that I really liked. It was nearby and easy to get to. It sounded like a nice environment and offered the subjects that I wanted to take. I collected and enrolment form and filled it out but didn't send it. I decided to talk to Billie about it first though I knew that even if he said he didn't want me to go I probably would anyway, after all, he'd gone on tour.

As the days of going to see Billie drew nearer, my nerves began to pick up. I couldn't sleep at night and was jumpy and not talkative. I kept replaying worst case scenarios in my mind, namely that he ditched me. Climbing into the cab the day we were going to see them I was in a terrible mood. I stared out of the window at the different views. The late summer sun was shining down on the still green trees A slight breeze ruffled my hair as I wound down the window. I felt sick and leant my head against the side of the car.

"It'll be fine," Chloe reassured from next to me. "I mean he can't exactly say no after going on tour can he."

"But this is fucking college, meaning we won't be living together anymore."

"True but... "

"Just shut up or talk about something else," I snapped. She shut up.

We ground to a halt outside a small venue and I climbed out, paid the driver and grabbed my suitcase. Suddenly Tre and Billie ran out. Billie grabbed me into a bear hug, grinning madly.

"Ow," I said when he let go, "I think you broke my ribs," he continued to grin as he led me inside the building. We came to a small room where we found Mike with a bass in his lap trying to tune it.

"It won't go fucking right!" he yelled as we walked in. Billie laughed and sat down on a sofa pulling me down onto his lap. Soon we were all laughing and drinking, a few more people had joined us and the room had begun to get slightly crowded. Billie began to kiss my neck softly.

"I missed you," he whispered. My body tingled but I felt a churn of guilt in the pit of my stomach.

"I've got something to tell you," I said quietly, not turning to look at him. He nodded against my neck his lips continuing to kiss it. I took a deep breath, now or never right? "I think I'm gonna go to college." He stopped kissing me but didn't lift up his head.

"What?" he said as if he hadn't heard me.

"I'm gonna go to college," I repeated. This time he defiantly heard me. He pushed me off his lap and stormed out of the room. Chloe saw and walked over.

"You told him then?"

"What the fuck does it look like?" I growled and stood up. "I'm gonna go talk to him." I walked out and saw him sitting on the floor by the door, his back against the wall, his head in his hands. I sat next to him.

"I'm sorry," I said. He didn't move. Suddenly anger replaced the guilt. "Why are you being so fucking selfish?" I said, my voice loud. He looked up.

"Selfish? I'm not the one buggering off to fucking college!"

"No you just abandoned me to go on tour."

"I didn't fucking abandon you," he was yelling now. "Besides, this is different. A tour isn't like college. A tour ends in a few months, not a few fucking years," his voice had quietened down. "You can't go to college."

"Why not?" I asked angrily.

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Because you just can't!" he yelled frustrated.

"Because isn't good enough Billie! I need a reason!" he didn't answer. "Billie, just give me one reason and I'll stay, one good reason!"

"Marry me," he whispered

"What?" I said, frustration rising.

"Marry me," he said louder. I stopped and stared at him. "When I get back I want you to marry me. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, that's why you can't go to college."

"Billie," I started, "I'm only just seventeen. We've only been dating a few months I...I..." I didn't know what to say. I so wanted to say yes. I could imagine it now living together, having kids, moving into our own house, when we were old sitting on the sofa together watching shitty daytime tv. But I couldn't. Young marriages never worked. He bit his lip.

"That's a no then," he said, his voice trembling.

"It's a lets wait until we're older."

"Why? What difference does time make? I love you today, I'll love you tomorrow and next week and next month and next year. You're the one Teresa, I know you are. I'd kill for you. I want to spend my whole life making you happy. What difference does it make if we get married now instead of two years time?" I looked at him, he had a point. Something inside me told me he was the one, that we were soul mates to put it in a cheesy way, there was no reason why we shouldn't get married.

"I...I...I don't know," I stuttered. "I just don't want you to be stuck with me and regret it in ten years time."

"I won't! These past couple of months, when you weren't talking to me and when I was on tour I realised how much I loved you and needed you and I thought about it and I realised that I couldn't live without you, that's not gonna change. I want to spend the rest of my days with you." I sat, staring at the floor. It could work, I knew it could.

"Okay," I said suddenly. He looked at me.

"Really?" I nodded.

"Yeah. Lets do it." His face broke into a grin and he jumped up, pulling me against him. He grabbed my arm and dragged me into the room where everyone was still partying. He grabbed a stray microphone and switched it on.

"Oi, shut the fuck up," he yelled into it, everyone did. "Okay I want to make a toast to my girlfriend Tez because she just agreed to marry me!" Everyone cheered and Billie grinned. He pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it. Taking out the ring his slid it onto my finger before pulling me in for a kiss.

Chloe came bouncing up.

"Are you serious?" She asked. I nodded. She screamed. "Congratulations, babe!" and she pulled me into a huge hug. I laughed, slightly overwhelmed by the suddenness of it all but damn happy all the same.

I was getting married!