State of Mind, chapter 6
As Billie and I were walking home, there was an awkward silence.
"They are some weird friends you got there." I said to Billie sarcastically.
"Especially Trè. I seriously don't know what happened to him" Billie replied laughing.
"Well they're cool friends. You're lucky to have them," I said.
"Yeah, they're like my brothers, I don't know where id be without them" Billie replied.
"I wish I had friends like them," I said sighing.
"Really, well tell me about your friends in Australia?" Billie asked.
"Well, I didn't really have any friends to be honest. I was more of an outcast, you know, the person who sits up the back, by themselves in class. Most people always picked on me for being a so-called "Goth". Id walk into class by myself and id come out by myself. I did have people id talk to, but I only got on with them because they didn't make fun of me, but I could tell that they didn't want to know me." I said as I started to cry.
"Hey, come on now, it couldn't have been too bad" Billie said putting an arm around my shoulder.
"Well not until one day, I was at my locker, and I was getting my books to go to my next class when this girl who I hater, Gemma was her name, she came up to me and...
*Flashback*
"Hey Goth" I said, impersonating Gemma that crappy day. And I went on explaining the whole story to him. I felt a tear come along, but I held it back.
"So you punched her in the mouth?" Billie asked excitedly.
"Yeah, but the best part was actually breaking her jaw, well that's what I heard before I left anyways" I said proudly.
"Remind me the next time I get into a fight to call you for backup" Billie said astonished. I don't think his first impression of me was like that.
"Well I had to do what I had to do, the girl was being a bitch, so I showed her where to go and how to get there," I stated once more
"And then what happened?" Billie asked curiously.
"Well I left school and came home, I didn't know what I was going to do or where I was going to go, but I didn't want to hang round. So I left, I packed my bags and left. I visited my favorite place one last time and got the hell out. Yeah my father found out about what happened, but I don't give a crap about him, he's always been an asshole. He'd come home from work pissed out of his brains, he never paid he bills, and we never had any money," I said reminding myself of my past.
"You should be at least happy you have a dad," Billie said.
"I know, but he was stupid, he wasn't a proper dad, I didn't want an alchy for a father. I wanted a dad that could stick up for the family and be there for us." I said crying more.
"Well if it makes you feel any better, my dad passed away a few years ago" Billie said. I looked over to him and I could see his eyes glimmering with a bit of water in them.
"Ohh, I'm sorry to hear that" I said, I felt like we had a good connection between us, we could talk to each other, and that's what I liked about him.
"That's ok. Well we have something in common then, both of our families have family member gone," he said in laughter. I laughed back.
We talked about all kinds of things on the way home; from fairy floss to him being related to Neil Armstrong, the first person who walked on the moon.
We had made it back to his house. It somewhat reminded me of a home that I had never had. It wasn't like my old home back in Australia, this had a warm hearted feeling inside of it, but the warm hearted feeling mostly came from the people taking care of me. They were my new family, and no one was going to take them away from me. Not anyone.
As we made it home, the sky was pitch black and the air was cold. I walked through the house to go to my room and get to bed. I went through my cupboards and put on some trakkie pants and an old hand-me-down t-shirt. I got changed and then went over to my cassette player; I hadn't listened to any of my music in a few days. I put my headphones in my ear and listened in silence to the Misfits. I forgot what all of these songs had meant to me at one point in my life; every single one of them had some sort of connection to me and my life, they all reminded me of a certain place or time I had. That was what I love about music. It pointed out the core of my emotion to me and how I felt. Music to me wasn't something that sounds good, but it was a piece of art, something to reflect upon. Words couldn't describe my love for it. It was too precious to me. It was like oxygen, if you took it away, I wouldn't be alive.
In the faint background I could hear some kind of knocking. I turned off my music and heard it again. It was the door. I got up and walked over to it.
"Can I come in?" Billie Joe asked curiously.
"Yeah, knock yourself out" I replied while packing up my cassette player.
"Are you going to bed already?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm a bit tired. I thought I should hit the hay. If not some serious shit will be hitting the fan tomorrow" I said laughing a bit.
"Hey thanks for coming tonight. I wasn't too sure if you liked it?" Billie asked.
"Did I ever, I had never seen anything like that before. I really think you guys have potential" I said complimenting him.
"Ah thanks, I had a great time. And seeing you had a 'great' time, there is this place called Gilman Street. It's this joint where there is a bunch of bands playing and mosh pits, just stuff like that. It's on every Saturday night. Did you want to come?" Billie asked.
"It sounds like fun, count me in" I said enthusiastically.
"Awesome. Do you think you can get yourself together by 6 tomorrow night?" He asked.
"Yeah, well I finish work at 3 so that will be fine" I replied shuffling around trying to keep myself warm. I thought California was much warmer than this but I was wrong.
"Awesome. Just wear a band t-shirt and some pants" Billie said while yawning, it was obvious we were both extremely tired.
"Ok, ill do that. You look really tired, maybe it isn't a bad idea if you called it a night too?" I said yawning.
"Yeah I think I will," he said yawning.
"Do you find when some one yawns, that you end up yawning after them, like they give you the Yawns? Ok that sounds stupid, but do you get where I'm coming from, they kind of make you want to yawn?" I asked confusing myself in the process.
"Actually I always thought about that, it bugs me a lot. But yawning rocks!" Billie said quite sheepishly.
"Well you better be off to bed before you fall asleep on the floor" I stated.
"I agree, good night then," Billie said yawning once more.
"Gunfight" I said.
I gave him a hug then closed the door. I went into my bed and under the sheets. I sat there thinking about life in California. Comparing both of them. I had to inform my dad or someone. Maybe ill send them a postcard or something, I don't know. I wont think about it now, I want to sleep, and I'm too tired to think.
I woke up the next morning. I could see the streaks of the sun filtering light through the windows, it lit up my room. I gave out a big stretch and yawned. I felt warm; I went to my window and looked out, down the street. The sun was shinning over the whole street. I felt my tummy rumbling so I decided to get dressed and grab something to eat from the kitchen.
I came out of my room and went over to the bench, I put a piece of bread into the toaster and went over to the pantry and got out some butter and vegemite. I looked at my watch, it read 8:30. That was weird, why was it so early, I never used to get up this early. "Meh," was all I said. As soon as the toast popped up a sleepy looking Billie Joe walked in the room.
"Good Morning, did you sleep last night?" I asked.
"Yeah I slept great, until I woke up this morning and realized that I had a math test this afternoon. I'm screwed." Billie said looking frustrated.
"Hmmm, did you study?" I asked him.
"Nope." Billie said.
"Hmm, well then you're screwed." I said laughing a bit.
"It's not funny, Mr. Fooi is going to kick my ass," he said laughing.
"Hang on, did you say Mr. Fooi?" I asked him curiously.
"Yeah, Mr. Fooi, he's a dick, I hate him." Billie argued.
"That's funny. I had a math teacher called Mrs. Ooi. She was a friggin' Nazi." I said angrily.
"Ohh yeah, why you say that?" Billie asked looking extremely interested.
"Well I was bored one day so I thought of possible ways how she could be a Nazi; this is what I came up with. She yells like a Nazi, she tells us to shush, but in a rude kind of way, she closes all the windows and doors, possibly to gas us. Well I can't think of any others, but I can assure you she was a Nazi. I can just imagine right now, if I didn't leave she could have gassed then already, that wouldn't be good," I said sarcastically. Mrs. Ooi was the biggest phony in history.
"That's pretty funny, well not the gassing bit" Billie said looking slightly amused. "True" I replied. I spread my toast with Vegemite and butter and took a bite out of it, Billie Joe was watching my every step, and he didn't seem to like vegemite much.
"Would you like some vegemite?" I asked shoving the toast in his face.
"Ewhh, I officially hate vegemite now. I don't know how you can stand that stuff," Billie Joe asked
"It's an Australian thing, you wouldn't understand." I replied.
"So are you still up for tonight?" Billie asked referring to Gilman Street.
"Hell yeah, id love to come. It sounds like fun," I answered.
"Ok then, that's awesome, ill be back from school around 3, but for now I got to get going or ill be late for school." Billie stated.
"Ha, suck I don't have to go to school" I said poking him in the arm.
"Oh you wait one day, ill be out of that shit hole and you'll be sorry you ever messed with Billie Joe Armstrong" Billie said sarcastically.
"Just wait and see" I replied raising an eyebrow. We both burst out into a fit of laughter. I needed a good laugh.
"Ok then, ill see you round 3, ok?" I asked.
"3 it is" he replied.
"Ok then, good luck in your math test" I said jokingly.
"If I don't come back, it means I'm dead" he said.
"Don't worry, I'm sure you can do good," I said laughing a bit.
"I hope so, well I better get going, ill see you at 3, see yeah" Billie said waving his hand as he made his way out of the back door.
I packed up the kitchen and washed the dishes. I put my jar of Vegemite back inside the cupboard and smiled. I hope I had enough to last me. If I didn't, then I guess I will go on a huge rampage through the supermarkets. I went back to my room and I fixed my bed. I looked out the window to see the sun shining over the neighborhood. I fixed my hair and put on some eyeliner. Then I went back to the kitchen and waited for Ollie so we could go off to work.
We walked down the inner streets of the suburb and then made it to Pudsey Street. We made it into Rod's and got set to work. I did the usual. Washed the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned to oven and took orders. I was getting much better at working. I thought I would never be able to take orders; I never had the courage to ask someone what they wanted to eat. I thought I looked stupid or something, well when ever I went into cafes I would always make fun of all the waitresses, now I know how it feels, but there aren't any small children here, well not for now anyways, so ill be fine for now.
After a busy morning at work it was finally lunch. I sat down with my sandwich; I took a mouthful of water from my glass and placed it back on the bench. Ollie came over and sat next to me with her lunch.
"So we haven't had much time to in the past day or so," Ollie said taking a bite out of her lunch.
"Yeah I've just been getting to know Billie Joe a bit better, we have a lot of things in common," I said looking around.
"Well it's great to know that, did you get along with his other friends in his band." Ollie asked curiously. I gave out a bit of laughter before answering,
"Yes, I did and trust me, I think we'll be getting along just fine"
"Well that's great to hear" Ollie said happily.
There was a long pause for a couple of minutes.
"So have you thought about going to school down here?" Ollie asked.
"Nah not yet, well I'm not sure what going to happen. I think I'm just going to work and see where that gets me. But if I really want to ill go back." I said, not sure about it. I hadn't really put much thought into school, I wasn't what you called an "Academic Achiever", I just went there and came back home dreading the next day, every day.
"Well, we'll have to think about that later on ok?" Ollie asked.
"Yeah, that'd be great" I said with a smile, maybe ill like school down here. Well there would be a big difference, I would have friends. And maybe they'd like me back.
I finished up with lunch and cleaned up the benches. I did the dishes and other chores like sweep the floor, clean the windows and wash the toilet, couldn't day that was my favorite, but I did it anyways. I was excited about tonight; I had never been to a show before. This would be interesting. I rounded up everything before asking Ollie if she thought we had finished another day of work. When she gave me the thumbs up I stacked the chairs on the tables and locked the doors and we were out of there.
"They are some weird friends you got there." I said to Billie sarcastically.
"Especially Trè. I seriously don't know what happened to him" Billie replied laughing.
"Well they're cool friends. You're lucky to have them," I said.
"Yeah, they're like my brothers, I don't know where id be without them" Billie replied.
"I wish I had friends like them," I said sighing.
"Really, well tell me about your friends in Australia?" Billie asked.
"Well, I didn't really have any friends to be honest. I was more of an outcast, you know, the person who sits up the back, by themselves in class. Most people always picked on me for being a so-called "Goth". Id walk into class by myself and id come out by myself. I did have people id talk to, but I only got on with them because they didn't make fun of me, but I could tell that they didn't want to know me." I said as I started to cry.
"Hey, come on now, it couldn't have been too bad" Billie said putting an arm around my shoulder.
"Well not until one day, I was at my locker, and I was getting my books to go to my next class when this girl who I hater, Gemma was her name, she came up to me and...
*Flashback*
"Hey Goth" I said, impersonating Gemma that crappy day. And I went on explaining the whole story to him. I felt a tear come along, but I held it back.
"So you punched her in the mouth?" Billie asked excitedly.
"Yeah, but the best part was actually breaking her jaw, well that's what I heard before I left anyways" I said proudly.
"Remind me the next time I get into a fight to call you for backup" Billie said astonished. I don't think his first impression of me was like that.
"Well I had to do what I had to do, the girl was being a bitch, so I showed her where to go and how to get there," I stated once more
"And then what happened?" Billie asked curiously.
"Well I left school and came home, I didn't know what I was going to do or where I was going to go, but I didn't want to hang round. So I left, I packed my bags and left. I visited my favorite place one last time and got the hell out. Yeah my father found out about what happened, but I don't give a crap about him, he's always been an asshole. He'd come home from work pissed out of his brains, he never paid he bills, and we never had any money," I said reminding myself of my past.
"You should be at least happy you have a dad," Billie said.
"I know, but he was stupid, he wasn't a proper dad, I didn't want an alchy for a father. I wanted a dad that could stick up for the family and be there for us." I said crying more.
"Well if it makes you feel any better, my dad passed away a few years ago" Billie said. I looked over to him and I could see his eyes glimmering with a bit of water in them.
"Ohh, I'm sorry to hear that" I said, I felt like we had a good connection between us, we could talk to each other, and that's what I liked about him.
"That's ok. Well we have something in common then, both of our families have family member gone," he said in laughter. I laughed back.
We talked about all kinds of things on the way home; from fairy floss to him being related to Neil Armstrong, the first person who walked on the moon.
We had made it back to his house. It somewhat reminded me of a home that I had never had. It wasn't like my old home back in Australia, this had a warm hearted feeling inside of it, but the warm hearted feeling mostly came from the people taking care of me. They were my new family, and no one was going to take them away from me. Not anyone.
As we made it home, the sky was pitch black and the air was cold. I walked through the house to go to my room and get to bed. I went through my cupboards and put on some trakkie pants and an old hand-me-down t-shirt. I got changed and then went over to my cassette player; I hadn't listened to any of my music in a few days. I put my headphones in my ear and listened in silence to the Misfits. I forgot what all of these songs had meant to me at one point in my life; every single one of them had some sort of connection to me and my life, they all reminded me of a certain place or time I had. That was what I love about music. It pointed out the core of my emotion to me and how I felt. Music to me wasn't something that sounds good, but it was a piece of art, something to reflect upon. Words couldn't describe my love for it. It was too precious to me. It was like oxygen, if you took it away, I wouldn't be alive.
In the faint background I could hear some kind of knocking. I turned off my music and heard it again. It was the door. I got up and walked over to it.
"Can I come in?" Billie Joe asked curiously.
"Yeah, knock yourself out" I replied while packing up my cassette player.
"Are you going to bed already?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm a bit tired. I thought I should hit the hay. If not some serious shit will be hitting the fan tomorrow" I said laughing a bit.
"Hey thanks for coming tonight. I wasn't too sure if you liked it?" Billie asked.
"Did I ever, I had never seen anything like that before. I really think you guys have potential" I said complimenting him.
"Ah thanks, I had a great time. And seeing you had a 'great' time, there is this place called Gilman Street. It's this joint where there is a bunch of bands playing and mosh pits, just stuff like that. It's on every Saturday night. Did you want to come?" Billie asked.
"It sounds like fun, count me in" I said enthusiastically.
"Awesome. Do you think you can get yourself together by 6 tomorrow night?" He asked.
"Yeah, well I finish work at 3 so that will be fine" I replied shuffling around trying to keep myself warm. I thought California was much warmer than this but I was wrong.
"Awesome. Just wear a band t-shirt and some pants" Billie said while yawning, it was obvious we were both extremely tired.
"Ok, ill do that. You look really tired, maybe it isn't a bad idea if you called it a night too?" I said yawning.
"Yeah I think I will," he said yawning.
"Do you find when some one yawns, that you end up yawning after them, like they give you the Yawns? Ok that sounds stupid, but do you get where I'm coming from, they kind of make you want to yawn?" I asked confusing myself in the process.
"Actually I always thought about that, it bugs me a lot. But yawning rocks!" Billie said quite sheepishly.
"Well you better be off to bed before you fall asleep on the floor" I stated.
"I agree, good night then," Billie said yawning once more.
"Gunfight" I said.
I gave him a hug then closed the door. I went into my bed and under the sheets. I sat there thinking about life in California. Comparing both of them. I had to inform my dad or someone. Maybe ill send them a postcard or something, I don't know. I wont think about it now, I want to sleep, and I'm too tired to think.
I woke up the next morning. I could see the streaks of the sun filtering light through the windows, it lit up my room. I gave out a big stretch and yawned. I felt warm; I went to my window and looked out, down the street. The sun was shinning over the whole street. I felt my tummy rumbling so I decided to get dressed and grab something to eat from the kitchen.
I came out of my room and went over to the bench, I put a piece of bread into the toaster and went over to the pantry and got out some butter and vegemite. I looked at my watch, it read 8:30. That was weird, why was it so early, I never used to get up this early. "Meh," was all I said. As soon as the toast popped up a sleepy looking Billie Joe walked in the room.
"Good Morning, did you sleep last night?" I asked.
"Yeah I slept great, until I woke up this morning and realized that I had a math test this afternoon. I'm screwed." Billie said looking frustrated.
"Hmmm, did you study?" I asked him.
"Nope." Billie said.
"Hmm, well then you're screwed." I said laughing a bit.
"It's not funny, Mr. Fooi is going to kick my ass," he said laughing.
"Hang on, did you say Mr. Fooi?" I asked him curiously.
"Yeah, Mr. Fooi, he's a dick, I hate him." Billie argued.
"That's funny. I had a math teacher called Mrs. Ooi. She was a friggin' Nazi." I said angrily.
"Ohh yeah, why you say that?" Billie asked looking extremely interested.
"Well I was bored one day so I thought of possible ways how she could be a Nazi; this is what I came up with. She yells like a Nazi, she tells us to shush, but in a rude kind of way, she closes all the windows and doors, possibly to gas us. Well I can't think of any others, but I can assure you she was a Nazi. I can just imagine right now, if I didn't leave she could have gassed then already, that wouldn't be good," I said sarcastically. Mrs. Ooi was the biggest phony in history.
"That's pretty funny, well not the gassing bit" Billie said looking slightly amused. "True" I replied. I spread my toast with Vegemite and butter and took a bite out of it, Billie Joe was watching my every step, and he didn't seem to like vegemite much.
"Would you like some vegemite?" I asked shoving the toast in his face.
"Ewhh, I officially hate vegemite now. I don't know how you can stand that stuff," Billie Joe asked
"It's an Australian thing, you wouldn't understand." I replied.
"So are you still up for tonight?" Billie asked referring to Gilman Street.
"Hell yeah, id love to come. It sounds like fun," I answered.
"Ok then, that's awesome, ill be back from school around 3, but for now I got to get going or ill be late for school." Billie stated.
"Ha, suck I don't have to go to school" I said poking him in the arm.
"Oh you wait one day, ill be out of that shit hole and you'll be sorry you ever messed with Billie Joe Armstrong" Billie said sarcastically.
"Just wait and see" I replied raising an eyebrow. We both burst out into a fit of laughter. I needed a good laugh.
"Ok then, ill see you round 3, ok?" I asked.
"3 it is" he replied.
"Ok then, good luck in your math test" I said jokingly.
"If I don't come back, it means I'm dead" he said.
"Don't worry, I'm sure you can do good," I said laughing a bit.
"I hope so, well I better get going, ill see you at 3, see yeah" Billie said waving his hand as he made his way out of the back door.
I packed up the kitchen and washed the dishes. I put my jar of Vegemite back inside the cupboard and smiled. I hope I had enough to last me. If I didn't, then I guess I will go on a huge rampage through the supermarkets. I went back to my room and I fixed my bed. I looked out the window to see the sun shining over the neighborhood. I fixed my hair and put on some eyeliner. Then I went back to the kitchen and waited for Ollie so we could go off to work.
We walked down the inner streets of the suburb and then made it to Pudsey Street. We made it into Rod's and got set to work. I did the usual. Washed the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned to oven and took orders. I was getting much better at working. I thought I would never be able to take orders; I never had the courage to ask someone what they wanted to eat. I thought I looked stupid or something, well when ever I went into cafes I would always make fun of all the waitresses, now I know how it feels, but there aren't any small children here, well not for now anyways, so ill be fine for now.
After a busy morning at work it was finally lunch. I sat down with my sandwich; I took a mouthful of water from my glass and placed it back on the bench. Ollie came over and sat next to me with her lunch.
"So we haven't had much time to in the past day or so," Ollie said taking a bite out of her lunch.
"Yeah I've just been getting to know Billie Joe a bit better, we have a lot of things in common," I said looking around.
"Well it's great to know that, did you get along with his other friends in his band." Ollie asked curiously. I gave out a bit of laughter before answering,
"Yes, I did and trust me, I think we'll be getting along just fine"
"Well that's great to hear" Ollie said happily.
There was a long pause for a couple of minutes.
"So have you thought about going to school down here?" Ollie asked.
"Nah not yet, well I'm not sure what going to happen. I think I'm just going to work and see where that gets me. But if I really want to ill go back." I said, not sure about it. I hadn't really put much thought into school, I wasn't what you called an "Academic Achiever", I just went there and came back home dreading the next day, every day.
"Well, we'll have to think about that later on ok?" Ollie asked.
"Yeah, that'd be great" I said with a smile, maybe ill like school down here. Well there would be a big difference, I would have friends. And maybe they'd like me back.
I finished up with lunch and cleaned up the benches. I did the dishes and other chores like sweep the floor, clean the windows and wash the toilet, couldn't day that was my favorite, but I did it anyways. I was excited about tonight; I had never been to a show before. This would be interesting. I rounded up everything before asking Ollie if she thought we had finished another day of work. When she gave me the thumbs up I stacked the chairs on the tables and locked the doors and we were out of there.
