You Lied, chapter 1
Mike's POV
I sit waiting for you to call or come by but then I remember what happened. Why the fuck did you have to do it? I'm mad at you but you'll never here me rant because you're gone now. Adie took Jakob back with her to Minnesota, she tried to get Joey to come but he's a married man now. Well really he's just a kid and so is Stella but they're married nonetheless. I figure I'm going to be a grandpa soon, weird, huh? Well, I hope not anytime soon because Stella's just about to start high school next fall. I fucking hate the way you just left me like that, hanging yourself in a closet didn't help anyone! You did it anyway though; it's so much like you, you were always such a prick. I loved you though, everyone did, hell it was hard not to. I'll make it clear though at least to myself I don't have to explain anything to you, Billie Joe. I wasn't in love with you I just loved you; I wish I could hate you though, but I can't just hate what you did. Even when I told you we deserved better than that you did it anyway. It's not that I didn't expect it... it's just that it hurts, I mean no matter how many times I thought about it I knew that was how you were gonna go. I'm so pissed of at you, I mean you knew you had a life here but you just threw it away. I wonder if you knew that "Heart Shaped Box" at your funeral. I told Adie to play it for you because it was your favorite Nirvana song. I wonder where you are; I mean if there's a Heaven I hope you're there right now. I miss playing in Green Day with you but Green Day is over now and that's how it should be because I remember you saying that if someone left the band that would that. You said no one could replace any of us and I know that's true so I won't try to replace you. I couldn't if I tried anyway. Tre's so sad that you kill yourself that he hasn't called me since you died. I wonder why I'm even talking to you, you'll never hear me. Am I seeking closure? Or am I going crazy like you? I don't know all I know is that I'll miss you always and forever. I hope to God though that I won't have to see you again for a while, I hope to live longer than you did.
Adie's POV
I just got back to Minnesota. From what I grew up with there were never a lot of drugs in Minnesota so maybe I can get Jakob to clean up here. I wanted Joey and Stella to come but Joey said his roots were in California and that's the kind of life he wanted his kids to have. It's weird that a fifteen year old to think about having kids but it's not for a married man to. Joey's caught somewhere in between. Joey said he'd keep in touch and Mike would check up on him and Stella and make sure they were ok. He must be stronger than me because I can't even think about California without getting sick much less live there. To be honest I can't even think about you without getting sick either. It isn't because I don't love you because I do and I always will but I was the one that found you. I even threw up after opened the closet it was that disturbing. Your neck was black around where the belt had been and a dark purple ring around that. I called 911 and couldn't stop crying. You left me and your sons and two men who loved you like you were their brother and believe me you never lacked in the family department. Your funeral was upsetting especially when "Heart Shaped Box" played, I guess I know how Courtney Love feels now. When I heard his voice (the one you always wished you had) sing the line "I wish I could eat your cancer away" that's what I wished too. I wish I could have made you happy so you wouldn't have done it but I can't. You lied to me though. You lied to me when you said you wouldn't kill yourself. I know because I followed your car one day after you and Mike had a fight. You drove all the way over to the Golden Gate Bridge and pulled over. I saw you stand on the edge and I stopped you just in time. I yelled at you and demanded to know what you were doing. You lied and said you were frustrated and just wanted to see the view because you thought it was beautiful. I knew better than that though but I didn't question you. I should have though. I should have sent you off to a shrink right when I first saw you cut. Or when I saw you were drinking too much. Or when I went to Mike's house to try to fix you. Come to think of it I had a lot of chances to help you but I didn't and I hate myself for not saying anything. I hope you don't hate me because I love you so much. When you left me a part me left too.
I sit waiting for you to call or come by but then I remember what happened. Why the fuck did you have to do it? I'm mad at you but you'll never here me rant because you're gone now. Adie took Jakob back with her to Minnesota, she tried to get Joey to come but he's a married man now. Well really he's just a kid and so is Stella but they're married nonetheless. I figure I'm going to be a grandpa soon, weird, huh? Well, I hope not anytime soon because Stella's just about to start high school next fall. I fucking hate the way you just left me like that, hanging yourself in a closet didn't help anyone! You did it anyway though; it's so much like you, you were always such a prick. I loved you though, everyone did, hell it was hard not to. I'll make it clear though at least to myself I don't have to explain anything to you, Billie Joe. I wasn't in love with you I just loved you; I wish I could hate you though, but I can't just hate what you did. Even when I told you we deserved better than that you did it anyway. It's not that I didn't expect it... it's just that it hurts, I mean no matter how many times I thought about it I knew that was how you were gonna go. I'm so pissed of at you, I mean you knew you had a life here but you just threw it away. I wonder if you knew that "Heart Shaped Box" at your funeral. I told Adie to play it for you because it was your favorite Nirvana song. I wonder where you are; I mean if there's a Heaven I hope you're there right now. I miss playing in Green Day with you but Green Day is over now and that's how it should be because I remember you saying that if someone left the band that would that. You said no one could replace any of us and I know that's true so I won't try to replace you. I couldn't if I tried anyway. Tre's so sad that you kill yourself that he hasn't called me since you died. I wonder why I'm even talking to you, you'll never hear me. Am I seeking closure? Or am I going crazy like you? I don't know all I know is that I'll miss you always and forever. I hope to God though that I won't have to see you again for a while, I hope to live longer than you did.
Adie's POV
I just got back to Minnesota. From what I grew up with there were never a lot of drugs in Minnesota so maybe I can get Jakob to clean up here. I wanted Joey and Stella to come but Joey said his roots were in California and that's the kind of life he wanted his kids to have. It's weird that a fifteen year old to think about having kids but it's not for a married man to. Joey's caught somewhere in between. Joey said he'd keep in touch and Mike would check up on him and Stella and make sure they were ok. He must be stronger than me because I can't even think about California without getting sick much less live there. To be honest I can't even think about you without getting sick either. It isn't because I don't love you because I do and I always will but I was the one that found you. I even threw up after opened the closet it was that disturbing. Your neck was black around where the belt had been and a dark purple ring around that. I called 911 and couldn't stop crying. You left me and your sons and two men who loved you like you were their brother and believe me you never lacked in the family department. Your funeral was upsetting especially when "Heart Shaped Box" played, I guess I know how Courtney Love feels now. When I heard his voice (the one you always wished you had) sing the line "I wish I could eat your cancer away" that's what I wished too. I wish I could have made you happy so you wouldn't have done it but I can't. You lied to me though. You lied to me when you said you wouldn't kill yourself. I know because I followed your car one day after you and Mike had a fight. You drove all the way over to the Golden Gate Bridge and pulled over. I saw you stand on the edge and I stopped you just in time. I yelled at you and demanded to know what you were doing. You lied and said you were frustrated and just wanted to see the view because you thought it was beautiful. I knew better than that though but I didn't question you. I should have though. I should have sent you off to a shrink right when I first saw you cut. Or when I saw you were drinking too much. Or when I went to Mike's house to try to fix you. Come to think of it I had a lot of chances to help you but I didn't and I hate myself for not saying anything. I hope you don't hate me because I love you so much. When you left me a part me left too.
