Dear Whatsername (an old journal was all that was left), chapter 4
Dear Whatesername,
school sucks. chemo sucks. I'm so sick of crying. I FEEL SO ALONE!!!!!
Dear Whatsername,
I'm sorry, for not writing in a fucken while. Things are just falling apart! First of all, Billie has moved on..... He's now dating Adrienne. She's really pretty and nice and they both look so happy together. Oh god how I wish I was the girl Billie walked to class and kissed. Fuck I would be happy just to be his friend again, but now he doesn't even acknowledge me. Yea yea I know it my own fault. Did I tell you I have almost all my classes with Billie? Well only 3 classes, cuz a s a senior we get a period off. And since we have to sit in alphabetical order I have to sit right in front of him. Lucky me huh? And since we're in Creative writing together, we had to partner of together and ask questions to each other. Well, since we know each other inside out, we didn't even ask the questions, we just wrote them down. I was hoping this would be an excuse for me to talk to him but he didn't even look my way. And as for Tre and Mike, I still talk to them. Yet, I still haven't said anything. Moving on to chemo. Well there's nothing much to say, beside the fact that after the sessions are over, i feel drain. I feel so weak now and days! I miss the days when we all use to fool around at Christie Road. We would get stoned and then just let the high take over us. But i know things wont be the same anymore. Well i'll let you go now, I'm starting to get dizzy,
Your friend Lay
P.S. Yesterday in the middle of the night, i heard my mom crying. Without making any noise i approached her room. She had a pillow over her head, trying to not make a noise, as her tears escaped. She was crying for me.......
Billie Joe put the diary away, he couldnt keep reading. He was sure, he knew what Layla had. She always saw herself as a disgrace.She hated looking through mirrors,and whenever she did she had a dissaproving look in her face. Billie wanted to brake down and cry, and he wished he could have done something! Billie remembered sitting right behind her. Always starring at her, not knowing she was starting to disperse. He took out a piece of paper and started to write......
She's an extraordinary girl,
In an ordinary world,
And she can't seem to get away
He lacks the courage in his mind,
Like a child left behind,
Like a pet left in the rain
She's all alone again,
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Somedays he feels like dying,
She gets so sick of crying
She sees the mirror of herself,
An image she wants to sell,
To anyone willing to buy
He steals the image in her kiss,
From her hearts apocalypse,
From the one called whatsername
She's all alone again,
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Somedays he feels like dying
Somedays it's not worth trying,
Now that they both are finding,
She gets so sick of crying..
Just as he finished writing the song the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey, honey how are you?" it was Adrienne.
"Fine, I actually just finished writing a new song."
"Oh great! I'm sure it's a great song, listen the kids want to speak with you," she said as she handed the phone to Joseph.
"Hey dad, how are you?"
"Hey kiddo, i'm fine how about you? are you doing good in school?"
"Yeah.. it's sooooooo boring though! I can't wait for summer vacation,"
Billie Joe started to laugh, as he remember the days, he anxiously waited for summer vacation to begin. Billie had felt so alone since he got to New York, but now hearing the voices of his family made him cheer up. He loved his family, but now he started wondering how his life would have been, if Layla was his wife and not Adrienne...
school sucks. chemo sucks. I'm so sick of crying. I FEEL SO ALONE!!!!!
Dear Whatsername,
I'm sorry, for not writing in a fucken while. Things are just falling apart! First of all, Billie has moved on..... He's now dating Adrienne. She's really pretty and nice and they both look so happy together. Oh god how I wish I was the girl Billie walked to class and kissed. Fuck I would be happy just to be his friend again, but now he doesn't even acknowledge me. Yea yea I know it my own fault. Did I tell you I have almost all my classes with Billie? Well only 3 classes, cuz a s a senior we get a period off. And since we have to sit in alphabetical order I have to sit right in front of him. Lucky me huh? And since we're in Creative writing together, we had to partner of together and ask questions to each other. Well, since we know each other inside out, we didn't even ask the questions, we just wrote them down. I was hoping this would be an excuse for me to talk to him but he didn't even look my way. And as for Tre and Mike, I still talk to them. Yet, I still haven't said anything. Moving on to chemo. Well there's nothing much to say, beside the fact that after the sessions are over, i feel drain. I feel so weak now and days! I miss the days when we all use to fool around at Christie Road. We would get stoned and then just let the high take over us. But i know things wont be the same anymore. Well i'll let you go now, I'm starting to get dizzy,
Your friend Lay
P.S. Yesterday in the middle of the night, i heard my mom crying. Without making any noise i approached her room. She had a pillow over her head, trying to not make a noise, as her tears escaped. She was crying for me.......
Billie Joe put the diary away, he couldnt keep reading. He was sure, he knew what Layla had. She always saw herself as a disgrace.She hated looking through mirrors,and whenever she did she had a dissaproving look in her face. Billie wanted to brake down and cry, and he wished he could have done something! Billie remembered sitting right behind her. Always starring at her, not knowing she was starting to disperse. He took out a piece of paper and started to write......
She's an extraordinary girl,
In an ordinary world,
And she can't seem to get away
He lacks the courage in his mind,
Like a child left behind,
Like a pet left in the rain
She's all alone again,
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Somedays he feels like dying,
She gets so sick of crying
She sees the mirror of herself,
An image she wants to sell,
To anyone willing to buy
He steals the image in her kiss,
From her hearts apocalypse,
From the one called whatsername
She's all alone again,
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Somedays he feels like dying
Somedays it's not worth trying,
Now that they both are finding,
She gets so sick of crying..
Just as he finished writing the song the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey, honey how are you?" it was Adrienne.
"Fine, I actually just finished writing a new song."
"Oh great! I'm sure it's a great song, listen the kids want to speak with you," she said as she handed the phone to Joseph.
"Hey dad, how are you?"
"Hey kiddo, i'm fine how about you? are you doing good in school?"
"Yeah.. it's sooooooo boring though! I can't wait for summer vacation,"
Billie Joe started to laugh, as he remember the days, he anxiously waited for summer vacation to begin. Billie had felt so alone since he got to New York, but now hearing the voices of his family made him cheer up. He loved his family, but now he started wondering how his life would have been, if Layla was his wife and not Adrienne...
