"Hi, I'm Your Neighbour.", chapter 19
I had just woken up and stepped out into the kitchen, grabbing a Starbucks bottle. I felt fingers creep onto my shoulders and someone jump on me and screamed and in terror.
"NATALIE YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!"
"AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"I hate you."
And I left the kitchen. I went to her room, to get a bit of payback. Ethan called the shower in our room this morning, the better one, hehe, so I was to use the one in the guest hall, therefore, how could Nat know I was to get payback and not a shower? One thing I should mention, as we go along, I can hold a nasty grudge and get terrible payback. My 36-year-old sister was going to PAY.
I dug into her suitcases quickly, tearing everything up until twas found. My one perfect resource, my best payback friend. The fucked up letters placed in random locations along the cover made me cackle with sinister cracks. I tore out the room and headed to the first landing of the stairs. Then, I began to read out loud, very loudly;
"'JULY FIRST, TWO-THOUSAND SIX, I SAW THIS GUY ON THE STREET AND HE WAS SOOOO FUCKING GORGEOUS. THEN SOME TEENIE WALKED UP TO HIM AND KISSED HIM, SO I THOUGHT IT MUST BE HIS GIRLFRIEND. THEY WALKED AWAY HAND IN HAND AND I WAS A BIT CRUSHED BUT OKAY. I'VE GOT JOHNNY AT HOME, WAITING FOR ME.' Natalie you told me you had no one! 'I CAN'T WAIT TO SURPRISE MY SISTER, BECAUSE SHE IS A FUH-REAKY CHICK WHO WILL FLIP WHEN SHE SEES ME. I— '"
"NIKKI STOP PLEASE!!! HEY!! GIVE THAT THE FUCK BACK YOU BITCH!!!"
"Natalie, you should learn your lesson. Do NOT fuck with me."
"Oh I learned that god damned lesson!"
"Hey, calm down, this is a battle of the comebacks, not a real fight. I'm sorry, but you scared me like, like what happened with," I quieted down, "him."
"Who is HIM? Is there something I don't know?"
"Yeah, I'll talk to you later about it."
"Morning Mom!!!" the boys said as they slid down the rail of the staircase.
"I told you not to do that, please...I totally agree with you on how fucking fun it is, but please. When I was a kid I was playing on the rails and swung a bit too hard and fell headfirst onto concrete. If you haven't noticed, I'm a little wound in the head. Don't end up stupid, like me."
"It would be cool to end up like you."
"Jay are you sucking up?"
"Maybe."
I glared at him playfully.
"Smartass."
Ethan came out fully clothed, looking pretty spiffy.
"Good morning, Dear."
"Good morning, my Dear." I said, with a British accent. We talk like old people...I know. Get used to it. I hugged him and then went back to sipping my mocha shit. The phone rang and I picked it up.
"International House Of Pancakes, how may I help you?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, wrong num—"
"Billie, wait, it's me!"
"Oh."
We both cracked up over the phone. He spoke up again.
"Would you like to come to lunch with me, M'lady?"
"Uhm, sure...would this be a private lunch or can I bring a friend?"
"Make it private if you can."
"Alright. Picking me up or...?"
"Yeah, uh...can you give me about an hour so I can get ready?"
"Yeah, I was just about ask you that."
"Perfect."
"See you in an hour."
"You too."
Click.
"I'm going to lunch with Billie, therefore, I shall get ready."
"Okee Dokee." Ethan said.
"And since you're out MY god damned shower, I can use it..."
"Language, please. I know you don't care, and have been cursing since age two,"
Its true, "But I don't think we'd look like good parents if our five-to-be-six-year-olds spoke like YOU."
"You know you like it."
"I do. I give." he smiled.
So, I took a shower, and got dressed in a long, black, flowing skirt, and a gray and black long-sleeved shirt. Yes, I clash, which, I LOVE clashing, matching shit sucks ass. I asked Ethan if everyone was staying home today and he said yes. I told him to keep the fucked-up-random-lettered book under my bed. The doorbell rang and I left with Billie Joe.
"Where do you wanna eat?"
"Are you in for anything formal? Because I think the people in this shack will NOT recognize you." I said.
"In where? If they won't recognize me, it's hidden, and I need no disguise, honey, I love you!"
I laughed and told him directions to 'The Frosted Mug' where you could sit outside and watch the sunset as you sipped a beer. Of course, I didn't have any alcohol, but I did get a hot dog. Billie had a beer and a hot dog like me. We sat, ate, and talked for about an hour, and then he pulled me off to a dark corner where we could talk privately. I looked into his green eyes with my own, and he began to speak.
"I want to get back with you."
"We can't do that Billie! I want to as much as you do, but we can't with the lives we already have!" I said.
"Things haven't been so great with Adrienne and I since after the tour, and...I was thinking since we were talking divorce..."
"Billie, I'm not getting a divorce any time soon. I'm sorry, I just can—"
But I was cut off with a kiss that led to a little something more at Billie's empty home.
2 Weeks Later
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..."
"Nikki, calm down. You won't be."
"Nat, I don't need false hope. I'm a dirty...whorey..slutty..."
"It's not false hope. And stop, no you're not."
"Go take the first one." she said.
"Alright." I had been roughing up the courage to take a pregnancy test. Yes, I was afraid Billie had gotten me pregnant. I did the first test and sat in the bathroom for about 10 minutes before shakily standing myself up and looking at it. I stared and sighed. The opened the door and looked straight into my sister's eyes.
"It says I'm pregnant."
"NATALIE YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!"
"AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"I hate you."
And I left the kitchen. I went to her room, to get a bit of payback. Ethan called the shower in our room this morning, the better one, hehe, so I was to use the one in the guest hall, therefore, how could Nat know I was to get payback and not a shower? One thing I should mention, as we go along, I can hold a nasty grudge and get terrible payback. My 36-year-old sister was going to PAY.
I dug into her suitcases quickly, tearing everything up until twas found. My one perfect resource, my best payback friend. The fucked up letters placed in random locations along the cover made me cackle with sinister cracks. I tore out the room and headed to the first landing of the stairs. Then, I began to read out loud, very loudly;
"'JULY FIRST, TWO-THOUSAND SIX, I SAW THIS GUY ON THE STREET AND HE WAS SOOOO FUCKING GORGEOUS. THEN SOME TEENIE WALKED UP TO HIM AND KISSED HIM, SO I THOUGHT IT MUST BE HIS GIRLFRIEND. THEY WALKED AWAY HAND IN HAND AND I WAS A BIT CRUSHED BUT OKAY. I'VE GOT JOHNNY AT HOME, WAITING FOR ME.' Natalie you told me you had no one! 'I CAN'T WAIT TO SURPRISE MY SISTER, BECAUSE SHE IS A FUH-REAKY CHICK WHO WILL FLIP WHEN SHE SEES ME. I— '"
"NIKKI STOP PLEASE!!! HEY!! GIVE THAT THE FUCK BACK YOU BITCH!!!"
"Natalie, you should learn your lesson. Do NOT fuck with me."
"Oh I learned that god damned lesson!"
"Hey, calm down, this is a battle of the comebacks, not a real fight. I'm sorry, but you scared me like, like what happened with," I quieted down, "him."
"Who is HIM? Is there something I don't know?"
"Yeah, I'll talk to you later about it."
"Morning Mom!!!" the boys said as they slid down the rail of the staircase.
"I told you not to do that, please...I totally agree with you on how fucking fun it is, but please. When I was a kid I was playing on the rails and swung a bit too hard and fell headfirst onto concrete. If you haven't noticed, I'm a little wound in the head. Don't end up stupid, like me."
"It would be cool to end up like you."
"Jay are you sucking up?"
"Maybe."
I glared at him playfully.
"Smartass."
Ethan came out fully clothed, looking pretty spiffy.
"Good morning, Dear."
"Good morning, my Dear." I said, with a British accent. We talk like old people...I know. Get used to it. I hugged him and then went back to sipping my mocha shit. The phone rang and I picked it up.
"International House Of Pancakes, how may I help you?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, wrong num—"
"Billie, wait, it's me!"
"Oh."
We both cracked up over the phone. He spoke up again.
"Would you like to come to lunch with me, M'lady?"
"Uhm, sure...would this be a private lunch or can I bring a friend?"
"Make it private if you can."
"Alright. Picking me up or...?"
"Yeah, uh...can you give me about an hour so I can get ready?"
"Yeah, I was just about ask you that."
"Perfect."
"See you in an hour."
"You too."
Click.
"I'm going to lunch with Billie, therefore, I shall get ready."
"Okee Dokee." Ethan said.
"And since you're out MY god damned shower, I can use it..."
"Language, please. I know you don't care, and have been cursing since age two,"
Its true, "But I don't think we'd look like good parents if our five-to-be-six-year-olds spoke like YOU."
"You know you like it."
"I do. I give." he smiled.
So, I took a shower, and got dressed in a long, black, flowing skirt, and a gray and black long-sleeved shirt. Yes, I clash, which, I LOVE clashing, matching shit sucks ass. I asked Ethan if everyone was staying home today and he said yes. I told him to keep the fucked-up-random-lettered book under my bed. The doorbell rang and I left with Billie Joe.
"Where do you wanna eat?"
"Are you in for anything formal? Because I think the people in this shack will NOT recognize you." I said.
"In where? If they won't recognize me, it's hidden, and I need no disguise, honey, I love you!"
I laughed and told him directions to 'The Frosted Mug' where you could sit outside and watch the sunset as you sipped a beer. Of course, I didn't have any alcohol, but I did get a hot dog. Billie had a beer and a hot dog like me. We sat, ate, and talked for about an hour, and then he pulled me off to a dark corner where we could talk privately. I looked into his green eyes with my own, and he began to speak.
"I want to get back with you."
"We can't do that Billie! I want to as much as you do, but we can't with the lives we already have!" I said.
"Things haven't been so great with Adrienne and I since after the tour, and...I was thinking since we were talking divorce..."
"Billie, I'm not getting a divorce any time soon. I'm sorry, I just can—"
But I was cut off with a kiss that led to a little something more at Billie's empty home.
2 Weeks Later
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..."
"Nikki, calm down. You won't be."
"Nat, I don't need false hope. I'm a dirty...whorey..slutty..."
"It's not false hope. And stop, no you're not."
"Go take the first one." she said.
"Alright." I had been roughing up the courage to take a pregnancy test. Yes, I was afraid Billie had gotten me pregnant. I did the first test and sat in the bathroom for about 10 minutes before shakily standing myself up and looking at it. I stared and sighed. The opened the door and looked straight into my sister's eyes.
"It says I'm pregnant."
