So Go Ahead and Kill Yourself! It All Amuses Me, chapter 16
As the red sun sets on England, the usual hustle and bustle of the streets of Bedford has all but died down. Only a few stragglers are left walking the darkening streets. It's the time between the workers of the day and the clubbers, bar hoppers, and those just looking for a good time of the night.
It's the wasteland between but something is out of place. This something just happens to be the presence of four young up and coming musicians. The four defiant and inseparable teenagers leisurely rounded the corner onto the street.
The oldest member of the group, Natasha, lagged behind scuffing her feet along the pavement, with a scowl on her pale face. Her hands were stuffed into her shallow jean pockets and her attitude was screaming 'Fuck off I'm in an emo mood'.
A few steps in front of her walked Andy. His arms were folded across his body and his gaze was challenging. Tom and Tanisha lead the group walking side by side at an even and calming pace.
Tanisha's hair hung lowly over her eyes, shielding them from the world around her. Their hands were linked and griping each other tightly. Tom gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and flicked at an imaginary piece of lint off his shirt, sighing brokenly.
Silence lingered like a horrid stench in the air, broken only by the occasional dog barking. Unknowingly their steps led them to a destination none had been in a while. Step by step along the broken down streets brought them closer.
The tap-tap of their footfalls formed a slow and melancholy melody. With no warning it halted in its beat. The sound of Tom and Tanisha's steps stopped. A dry and scratchy breath left Tom's throat.
One by one everybody's eyes focused on the site in front of them.
"Is this the park?"
The bare, grey swings jangled in the breeze. The once colourful and cheerful playground stood in tatters. Its colour and beauty striped in replace of tasteless graffiti.
Broken and jagged glass littered the yellowing grass and ruined floors. The sublime and cheering flowerbeds were ripped to pieces and the plants pulled up. Tasha gasped in horror as she assessed the ruthless damage the park had suffered.
Dashing forward, she pushed past Tom and ran to the fence surrounding the disaster area. She grasped the cold metal in her hands, leaning on it in disbelief.
"What happened to it?"
The feeling of her friend's pain was obvious. It hung in the broken atmosphere. They took careful steps towards her. They each stood side by side at the edge thinking their own thoughts.
Tanisha spoke first, glancing to the side where the entrance gate was. "Who wants to go first?" With no need for words, Tasha was the first to venture through the gate. It clanged loudly as it shit behind her.
She took no notice as she ran to the eye of the storm in a hurry. One by one everyone entered. Clang - Clang - Clang, it sounded like the deafening toll of a bell. Tom jogged straight after Tasha - eyes locked straight daring not to look. Whereas Tanisha and Andy took slow steps, gaping constantly at the mess around them.
Approaching the centre where the swings were they watched Tasha swinging through the air roughly. Her hair stretched out behind her like a wave of black water. Tom sat gingerly rocking back and forth on the swing next to her. Both standing friends took their old places.
Sensing the completion of the group, Tasha dug her heeling into the ground as she swung down, stopping her decent suddenly. "Do you remember when we used to come here as kids?" Tanisha asked, gently prodding the subject.
There was a murmur of agreement between them. "Yeah but you guys were friends and here way before me," Tasha added with a hint of a smile.
"I remember the day you first come here. You looked so sad and lonely sitting on the bench," Andy reminisced.
"I was in a bad place, but you guys invited me to join you," she smiled gratefully.
"That was my idea" Tom whispered not so softly in Tasha's ear.
"Well I don't care whose idea it was. If it wasn't for you guys and this place - I would have gone under."
Each figure lowered their eyes to the ground silently playing their memories through their minds. "This place was special. It was our place. Our home away from home," Andy spoke, firmly rubbing the metal of the swing warmly.
"We always came here when anything bad had happened and when we were here all the bad stuff seemed to go away," Tasha said rubbing at her eyes, smudging her eyeliner even further in the process.
"It's like it had a life all its own. By the by Tash you shoulder wear your eyeliner thick like that more often," Tanisha added, veering off the subject slightly.
"But when we were old enough we found the quake," Tom muttered.
"And abandoned our place," Andy spat darkly.
"Not totally. We came back to rebuild it when this happened the first time and we're here now," Tom rebutted.
"Do we even have time to put it back to its former splendour again?" Tanisha asked hopefully, looking between the three of them.
Tasha nodded her head confidently. "Of course we can do it"
"It'll be a tight squeeze for time. We'd have to spend at least 3 weeks working on it," Tom doubted.
"and what about your dad Tasha? How can you spend time with him while we're working on this?" Andy added, trying not to sound too eager.
"Dad can help. We can do it" Tasha repeated sounded every word with confidence. "Then we will do it, right you two?" Tanisha asked the two males.
"Hell yes!" They cheered loudly into the night.
"But right now we need to find out who done this and why" Tasha spoke as her expression darkened again. Across from Tasha, Andy's eyes grew as he looked beyond her body, to the mural wall.
"I don't know about the first question but I can answer the second" he said pointing behind her. Slowly everyone's eyes turned in the direction Andy was pointing. Tasha lent over as if she had been punched in the gut.
Tom stamped his foot into the hard ground in anger with tremendous force. Tanisha bit her lip to stop herself screaming in sadness and rage because; in big, black, harsh lettering written on the wall were the words.
This is for your fucking sell out band E.O.T.A! Fucking enjoy it! You faggots aren't welcome!
Tasha crashed into the ground, squatting painfully "I feel sick. This is because of us guys," Tasha wretched but nothing left her body. Andy grimaced as coughs, left her body converging every time. The harsh sounds stopped coming and Tasha's body rested in it's position.
By this time Tanisha had walked towards the offending wall. She was now tracing every word left behind by the culprits.
"How do we know who done it? It could be anyone at the quake," Tom asked, not expecting an answer - But one came.
"Maybe I can help with that," a familiar voice sounded from close to Tasha's pained form. Standing not two foot away was the figure of a man known well by every person he supplied to.
His mid calf black and tattered leather jacket fluttered lightly in the wind, like the sails of the fictional black pearl. He wore a crisp and pressed black button up shirt and a white tie. In complete contrast to his snappy upper half, his legs were clothed in dark, ripped and torn jeans.
His bleached hair shone brightly in the dark light. His light brown eyes showed no lie in their shallow depths. The band moved closer to him while Tasha remained where she was staring at the ground but listening intently.
"How can you help Sticky?"
"How does anyone help in my position?" Sticky replied cryptically.
"Either help us or fuck off," Andy fumed, loosing his patience with Sticky easily in the currant situation.
The man called Sticky tutted mockingly. Wagging his finger in Andy's face and shaking his head.
"Is that any way to talk to your weed dealer? Be a good boy and ask nicely," he taunted.
A growl emanated from low in Andy's throat, startling the person next to him. Sticky ignored the reaction he had provoked and turned towards Tom.
"You guys are great musicians and an awesome band, but you're hated by all those who once accepted you. Anyone could have caused this destruction, so without my help you'll never find out who it was."
Sticky peered behind Tanisha, watching Tasha's fists clench and unclench with frustration. "If everyone hates us why are you offering to help?" Tanisha asked suspiciously.
"We were once good friends," Sticky muttered off handed. His attention was still focused almost completely on Tasha. Tom clicked his fingers in front of sticky's face, snapping his gaze from the person on the floor. "So?"
Sticky sighed exaggerated "I don't hate you. We smoked, drank and had fun together, I couldn't hate you."
"Just cause you don't hate us, it doesn't explain why you would help," Andy spoke, once again breaking into the conversation. "I once loved this park like you do. Do you want me to tell you or not?" He spoke giving them a final choice.
Tasha straightened herself slowly and stood up from the floor walking forward. "Tell us, but why should we believe you?"
She was standing toe to toe with Sticky, staring into his eyes intently. "It was Angela B and her boys, but you'll just have to trust me," he breathed heavily.
Tasha surged forward, invading Sticky's personal space and grabbing his shirt and tie in a fierce lock. She raised her face until she was right up close to his. Her eyes were calm but her voice wasn't. It was shaking with anger and frustration.
"I trusted you with my life once," She stepped back and turned towards her friends. No words were needed between them. They knew where they were about to go, they were going back to the quake... one last time.
They walked towards the exit of the park. Tom, Andy and Tanisha passed through the gate while Tasha stopped.
She didn't turn back - She only faced forward and spoke in a harsh tone.
"If you're lying to me... " She stopped talking, leaving the threat lingering.
It's the wasteland between but something is out of place. This something just happens to be the presence of four young up and coming musicians. The four defiant and inseparable teenagers leisurely rounded the corner onto the street.
The oldest member of the group, Natasha, lagged behind scuffing her feet along the pavement, with a scowl on her pale face. Her hands were stuffed into her shallow jean pockets and her attitude was screaming 'Fuck off I'm in an emo mood'.
A few steps in front of her walked Andy. His arms were folded across his body and his gaze was challenging. Tom and Tanisha lead the group walking side by side at an even and calming pace.
Tanisha's hair hung lowly over her eyes, shielding them from the world around her. Their hands were linked and griping each other tightly. Tom gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and flicked at an imaginary piece of lint off his shirt, sighing brokenly.
Silence lingered like a horrid stench in the air, broken only by the occasional dog barking. Unknowingly their steps led them to a destination none had been in a while. Step by step along the broken down streets brought them closer.
The tap-tap of their footfalls formed a slow and melancholy melody. With no warning it halted in its beat. The sound of Tom and Tanisha's steps stopped. A dry and scratchy breath left Tom's throat.
One by one everybody's eyes focused on the site in front of them.
"Is this the park?"
The bare, grey swings jangled in the breeze. The once colourful and cheerful playground stood in tatters. Its colour and beauty striped in replace of tasteless graffiti.
Broken and jagged glass littered the yellowing grass and ruined floors. The sublime and cheering flowerbeds were ripped to pieces and the plants pulled up. Tasha gasped in horror as she assessed the ruthless damage the park had suffered.
Dashing forward, she pushed past Tom and ran to the fence surrounding the disaster area. She grasped the cold metal in her hands, leaning on it in disbelief.
"What happened to it?"
The feeling of her friend's pain was obvious. It hung in the broken atmosphere. They took careful steps towards her. They each stood side by side at the edge thinking their own thoughts.
Tanisha spoke first, glancing to the side where the entrance gate was. "Who wants to go first?" With no need for words, Tasha was the first to venture through the gate. It clanged loudly as it shit behind her.
She took no notice as she ran to the eye of the storm in a hurry. One by one everyone entered. Clang - Clang - Clang, it sounded like the deafening toll of a bell. Tom jogged straight after Tasha - eyes locked straight daring not to look. Whereas Tanisha and Andy took slow steps, gaping constantly at the mess around them.
Approaching the centre where the swings were they watched Tasha swinging through the air roughly. Her hair stretched out behind her like a wave of black water. Tom sat gingerly rocking back and forth on the swing next to her. Both standing friends took their old places.
Sensing the completion of the group, Tasha dug her heeling into the ground as she swung down, stopping her decent suddenly. "Do you remember when we used to come here as kids?" Tanisha asked, gently prodding the subject.
There was a murmur of agreement between them. "Yeah but you guys were friends and here way before me," Tasha added with a hint of a smile.
"I remember the day you first come here. You looked so sad and lonely sitting on the bench," Andy reminisced.
"I was in a bad place, but you guys invited me to join you," she smiled gratefully.
"That was my idea" Tom whispered not so softly in Tasha's ear.
"Well I don't care whose idea it was. If it wasn't for you guys and this place - I would have gone under."
Each figure lowered their eyes to the ground silently playing their memories through their minds. "This place was special. It was our place. Our home away from home," Andy spoke, firmly rubbing the metal of the swing warmly.
"We always came here when anything bad had happened and when we were here all the bad stuff seemed to go away," Tasha said rubbing at her eyes, smudging her eyeliner even further in the process.
"It's like it had a life all its own. By the by Tash you shoulder wear your eyeliner thick like that more often," Tanisha added, veering off the subject slightly.
"But when we were old enough we found the quake," Tom muttered.
"And abandoned our place," Andy spat darkly.
"Not totally. We came back to rebuild it when this happened the first time and we're here now," Tom rebutted.
"Do we even have time to put it back to its former splendour again?" Tanisha asked hopefully, looking between the three of them.
Tasha nodded her head confidently. "Of course we can do it"
"It'll be a tight squeeze for time. We'd have to spend at least 3 weeks working on it," Tom doubted.
"and what about your dad Tasha? How can you spend time with him while we're working on this?" Andy added, trying not to sound too eager.
"Dad can help. We can do it" Tasha repeated sounded every word with confidence. "Then we will do it, right you two?" Tanisha asked the two males.
"Hell yes!" They cheered loudly into the night.
"But right now we need to find out who done this and why" Tasha spoke as her expression darkened again. Across from Tasha, Andy's eyes grew as he looked beyond her body, to the mural wall.
"I don't know about the first question but I can answer the second" he said pointing behind her. Slowly everyone's eyes turned in the direction Andy was pointing. Tasha lent over as if she had been punched in the gut.
Tom stamped his foot into the hard ground in anger with tremendous force. Tanisha bit her lip to stop herself screaming in sadness and rage because; in big, black, harsh lettering written on the wall were the words.
This is for your fucking sell out band E.O.T.A! Fucking enjoy it! You faggots aren't welcome!
Tasha crashed into the ground, squatting painfully "I feel sick. This is because of us guys," Tasha wretched but nothing left her body. Andy grimaced as coughs, left her body converging every time. The harsh sounds stopped coming and Tasha's body rested in it's position.
By this time Tanisha had walked towards the offending wall. She was now tracing every word left behind by the culprits.
"How do we know who done it? It could be anyone at the quake," Tom asked, not expecting an answer - But one came.
"Maybe I can help with that," a familiar voice sounded from close to Tasha's pained form. Standing not two foot away was the figure of a man known well by every person he supplied to.
His mid calf black and tattered leather jacket fluttered lightly in the wind, like the sails of the fictional black pearl. He wore a crisp and pressed black button up shirt and a white tie. In complete contrast to his snappy upper half, his legs were clothed in dark, ripped and torn jeans.
His bleached hair shone brightly in the dark light. His light brown eyes showed no lie in their shallow depths. The band moved closer to him while Tasha remained where she was staring at the ground but listening intently.
"How can you help Sticky?"
"How does anyone help in my position?" Sticky replied cryptically.
"Either help us or fuck off," Andy fumed, loosing his patience with Sticky easily in the currant situation.
The man called Sticky tutted mockingly. Wagging his finger in Andy's face and shaking his head.
"Is that any way to talk to your weed dealer? Be a good boy and ask nicely," he taunted.
A growl emanated from low in Andy's throat, startling the person next to him. Sticky ignored the reaction he had provoked and turned towards Tom.
"You guys are great musicians and an awesome band, but you're hated by all those who once accepted you. Anyone could have caused this destruction, so without my help you'll never find out who it was."
Sticky peered behind Tanisha, watching Tasha's fists clench and unclench with frustration. "If everyone hates us why are you offering to help?" Tanisha asked suspiciously.
"We were once good friends," Sticky muttered off handed. His attention was still focused almost completely on Tasha. Tom clicked his fingers in front of sticky's face, snapping his gaze from the person on the floor. "So?"
Sticky sighed exaggerated "I don't hate you. We smoked, drank and had fun together, I couldn't hate you."
"Just cause you don't hate us, it doesn't explain why you would help," Andy spoke, once again breaking into the conversation. "I once loved this park like you do. Do you want me to tell you or not?" He spoke giving them a final choice.
Tasha straightened herself slowly and stood up from the floor walking forward. "Tell us, but why should we believe you?"
She was standing toe to toe with Sticky, staring into his eyes intently. "It was Angela B and her boys, but you'll just have to trust me," he breathed heavily.
Tasha surged forward, invading Sticky's personal space and grabbing his shirt and tie in a fierce lock. She raised her face until she was right up close to his. Her eyes were calm but her voice wasn't. It was shaking with anger and frustration.
"I trusted you with my life once," She stepped back and turned towards her friends. No words were needed between them. They knew where they were about to go, they were going back to the quake... one last time.
They walked towards the exit of the park. Tom, Andy and Tanisha passed through the gate while Tasha stopped.
She didn't turn back - She only faced forward and spoke in a harsh tone.
"If you're lying to me... " She stopped talking, leaving the threat lingering.
