So Go Ahead and Kill Yourself! It All Amuses Me, chapter 19
'Am I dead?' was the first thing that went through her mind. Next she became aware that she was lying on something soft and fluffy.
'Am I in heaven?' the smell of orange and mango floated to her nose.
She inhaled the tempting scent and a not so dull ache coursed through her body. "Okay so I'm not dead," she whispered to herself. 'Why is it so dark?'
As she began to notice other feelings in her body besides the pain, she realized that her eyes were closed. Feeling like a bit of a dickhead, she opened her eyes slowly and a bright light pierced her, sending a shooting pain straight to her skull.
Something was missing. She felt it inside her, something drastic had altered in her body. Something had changed and was not there anymore. She couldn't explain it but something had happened and she was in anguish.
As her eyes started to adjust to the light, she ventures to look round the room she was in. It was a blinding shade of white. A new smell replaced the orange and mango - the scent of disinfectant.
She was lying in the centre of the sterile white linen hospital bed sheets. The room was void of any other human contact. She was hooked up to an IV drip and alone. Only the beeps of the heart monitor to keep her company.
The ache was slightly duller now. 'Thank God for Morphine!' but the beep-beep was grinding on her nerves and she cried out. Ignoring all the signals her body was sending her, she swung her legs round earning herself a bout of sickness and a new round of pain.
She glanced down at the disgusting hospital down and touched her feet to the cold floor. The loud whimpers of pain caught the attention of a passing nurse. Seeing Tasha about to pull out her IV, she rushed in and ushered her flustered patient back to bed.
"Dear Girl, are you trying to hurt yourself more than you already are? And after I just sent your family to go home and get some rest"
"My family?" Tasha croaked with a voice of un-use and winced as a bright light shone in her eyes.
"Yes, they've been here for 3 days straight, waiting for you to wake and you do when they're not here. Ironic, isn't it?" she asked fluffing the pillows with a mothering touch. She was a plump short woman with a kind and generous face.
She smiled warmly down at Tasha. "I'll call them soon. How's the pain?"
"Bad," Tasha winced, not knowing what to grab in pain. The nurse stood contemplating for a moment.
"My name's Maddy dear. I'll ask the doctor and we'll see about upping your morphine," she said warmly. Tasha smiled around her continuous grimace as she watched Maddy check her vitals.
"Oh and your dad's a right character, such a lovely man. He... "
"Dad was here? But he absolutely hates hospitals," Tasha interrupted. Maddy smiled warmly and pulled up a chair, looking forward to a nice chat.
"Of course he's been here. He's your father. You should have seen him. He was the first in here once we called. He was ordering people left, right and centre telling them he wanted the best treatment for his little girl."
Tasha attempted to smile again but the pain stopped her. "And when you wouldn't wake up he was sick with worry. By yesterday he was a right state. He only left your side to go to the bathroom. Now that's real love."
She smiled politely and went to rise from the chair but was stopped momentarily. "Who brought me in? Do you know? I remember someone familiar calling my name before I blacked out"
"They said their name was Charlie Pitch. I'll just go alert your family and see about that morphine. You just rest yourself now," she spoke and then disappeared from the room, leaving Tasha alone with her thoughts.
She glared at the grey ceiling, attempting to blot out the pain her body was in. "Sticky found me and Dad didn't leave my side?" she let out a painful yawn and rested back on the bed. Her eyes began to droop in exhaustion and in a matter of minutes she was in a semi peaceful sleep.
A number of hours later consciousness set in and Tasha's eyes started to open. The light seemed not so bright this time around. The pain was less then it had been and she silently thanked whatever god was listening to her pleas.
Her body was warm, like freshly made toast. The room which before had been void of any colour now held some of her favourite posters. Huge bouquet's of flowers were at every corner, every surface, every nook and cranny. Bunches of red, orange and yellow, white, purple and pink gave warm splashes throughout the room.
As her mind began to adjust to her now awake state, she felt a weight on the bed, near her arm. Another hand was holding hers. This hand was slightly larger than her own, but just as ruff - a guitarist's hand.
Billie Joe's face and upper body rested on the mattress, half asleep with exhaustion. His face was lying on one side and lengthy black hair hung over is partially open eyes. His breathing was slow and steady.
For minutes on end Tasha watched him unnoticed. Her eyes followed his every movement, even something as tiny as a hitch in his breath. She squeezed his hand lightly in hers and his breath hitched again.
Believing he was imagining things, his breathing returned to its slow, rise and fall. He closed his green eyes tightly as if attempting to empty his thoughts and return to his endless emptiness.
"Please wake up baby girl. I want to see my eyes in yours again. I wish I could see our eyes and hear our voice," he mumbled into the mattress.
Secretly smiling to herself, Tasha squeezed his hand again hoping for a better reaction than she got last time. Her dad delivered. He sprung from his sprawled out position on the mattress.
His eyes were wide and focused solely on her face. "My God, do it again?" He asked. Understanding him completely, she grabbed Billie Joe's hand tightly, rubbing soothing circles on his skin with her thumb.
He showed her a cheesy grin, revealing his slightly crooked but white teeth. He pulled her heavily drugged hand to his chapped lips and placed a single and simple kiss upon the bruised knuckles. Smiling sleepily, she rested her head back on the pillows feeling tired again.
He frowned momentarily, but smiled at her once more. "Don't go to sleep darling. Stay awake for daddy and I'll buy you a pink pony like you've always wanted," he urged. Her smile dissolved into a drawn out yawn and she started to release the grip on Billie Joe's hand.
"I've grown out of the pony stage dad. I'll stay awake as long as I can," she answered him firmly. "...and besides where would you have found a pink pony?" she laughed heartily, letting her eyes flutter closed momentarily.
He pretended to think this through, as he pulled his chair even closer to the bed. He leaned towards his daughters cut and bruised face, hesitantly reaching out with his hand. With careful fingers, he traced a particularly nasty cut down her face.
Tears formed at the corner of his eyes, threatening to slip down his cheek and mix with hers. "I'd have brought you a pony and dyed it pink," he grinned, laughing at his own lousy solution.
He watched her bite her lip hard enough to draw blood. She was hesitating to ask something and it cut him slightly. "There won't be any scarring. The ground scraped you up pretty bad, but your body will be back to normal in no time," he assured her calmly brushing hair behind her small ear.
"I was going to ask how long I've been here. Who knows about this? And what's wrong with me?" she asked touching his hair in return. He threw his head back running his tongue over his teeth, processing all her questions. Drawing a deep breath, he moved from his chair to the bed taking Tasha's hand in his.
"You've been her for about a week. Everyone close to us knows you're here and the police have been contacted so they are going to want to talk to you soon, but I can't tell you what's wrong. The doctor kept it to herself until you finally came around. She thought it was best that you hear it first," he said very slowly making sure that Tasha had understood him.
"So you don't know?" she clarified.
"Yes that's right" he answered. A silence filled the room, until a thought finally entered Billie's head. "I met your friends! They've come to visit you every day. Their great kids, I can see why you hang out with them. They told me to tell you that they've started fixing the park," he smiled at her caring smile.
"I'm glad," she whispered to him, as if it was the biggest secret in the world.
"But where's mum? And who sent all these beautiful flowers?" she asked. A lot of the flowers situated around the room where lilies - her favourite.
"Your mum couldn't stay awake anymore so Doctor Wayne-Wright ordered her to go home. The flowers are from all the guys in Oakland. They've been really worried. Mike and Tre have been calling every chance they get" he laughed.
5 seconds later, Tasha's eyes widened and her bottom lip quivered. "You said it's been a week! You're going home soon. I've missed my time with you," she cried, wiping her eyes fiercely trying to stop any tears.
Her face stung as she lost her battle and salty tears landed on her cuts. Billie Joe wrapped his arm around his precious daughter's waist and began rubbing her lower back, gently splaying his hand across her tender flesh. She embraced him, snuggling into his warm body.
He held her delicately in his arms, as if she were the most fragile and important thing in his life. Not getting enough from him in that moment, Tasha pulled him flush against her body, ignoring the physical pain. She just revelled in holding his full attention and love.
"Don't go please," she mumbled broken heartedly into his shoulder blade. His face fell as he felt his daughter's tears splash against his neck. A sharp searing pain hit his heart as her pain became his for a split second. He knew because it was the same pain he felt. They both felt the separation. Even after ten years it was still as clear in their minds as if it was yesterday.
Billie Joe threaded his fingers through Tasha's hair and pulled her face away from his shoulder as gently as he could. He stared into her tear-clouded and fearful eyes with no hesitation. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying here until your band has to move. You don't have to worry anymore sweetheart."
"Who told you about that?" Tasha asked, sniffing cutely. Billie Joe swept up a tear from her left eye before it fell onto her delicate face. "Your mum told me darling. Its amazing news to get, even if had been under circumstances."
A lock of long hair flopped in front of Tasha's eyes. She hid behind it as she spoke to him. "Are you happy?"
"How could I not be happy that my daughter is moving back to California?" He grinned, widening his eyes for the fun of it. She grinned back, tenderly reaching for Billie's hand again. "Because you're a retard."
Apparently not having understood what she had called him, he kissed her knuckles once more and leaned back in his seat. His tired eyes snapped open widely as her words finally dawned on him.
His mouth dropped open and he stuttered as he began to talk "W-What did you c-c-call me?"
Pulling herself up into a sitting position, Tasha leaned out of the hospital cot, ignoring the painful twinge in her stomach so she could peck his cheek. "I said you're a retard daddy," she whispered into his hair.
Billie Joe grinned adoringly and threw his head back, laughing high and loud. He watched Tasha settle back into the pillows with her teeth attached to her bottom lip. His face turned into a frown and back again as the door burst open and everybody rushed in. They tripped over each other in the hurry to get inside.
Issy was the first to rush to her daughter, followed by Leo and Mikey, Tanisha, Tom and Andy. Issy grabbed Tasha's other hand and held to close to her bosom. She stared at her daughter with liquid crystal tears in her eyes as everyone crowded around the bed.
Leo was next to Issy holding onto her shoulder. Mikey was sitting gingerly on the mattress next to Tasha's knees. Tom and Andy were standing at the base of the bed with almost identical raised eyebrows and smiles. Lastly Tanisha had somehow managed to place herself next to Billie Joe on Tasha's right.
Tasha smiled lazily at her friends and family. No one said a thing; everyone stood or sat around holding their breath, waiting for a word. "Hi everyone."
With those two words the floodgates opened and voices reigned from every corner. Issy threw herself at her daughter, burying her in a gentle hug. Much to Billie's chagrin, Leo kissed Tasha's forehead and told her he loved her.
Mikey crawled up the bed until her was level with Tasha. She pulled her young brother into a kiss and smiled as he made spluttering noises. "I love you too little bro."
Tom and Andy produced a huge box of chocolates from behind their backs. They claimed that it was to save her from disgusting hospital food, but she suspected that they felt guilty for not walking home with her.
Tanisha however was very much the chatter box, which suited Billie Joe perfectly. They were continuously chatting about nothing and everything. The atmosphere very much resembled a family reunion right down to a T. It even had the crazy uncle in the form of Tom. Except - There was an underlining tension between Billie Joe and Leo and an apprehension of a talk with the police.
After a time, there was a gentle knock at the door and in walked a young woman about 27 years old. She was wearing the white hospital coat and a warming smile. She introduced herself as Doctor Wain-Wright. "Hi Tasha, how are you feeling now?"
"Okay Doc, but I'm a bit uncomfortable with the pain," she answered. Dr Wain-Wright nodded kindly, but got straight to the point she needed to get to.
"I'd like to talk to you about why you're here. Would you prefer to do this in private, or?" she asked, flicking her eyes across everybody carefully.
"No, that's okay Doc. This is my family, they should hear it as well," Tasha answered selflessly, squeezing Billie's hand in the process.
"Okay. May I take a seat?" she asked indicating a vacant chair. With a single nod Dr Wain-Wright had sat down.
"Well Tasha. I'm afraid when you were attacked your body sustained very severe blows," she started, waiting for Tasha to take in what she had said.
"You cracked 5 of your ribs and there was minor damage to your brain which induced the small coma." Billie Joe snorted into his hand muttering to himself.
"Minor damage? Pst."
She stopped speaking momentarily, taking in a small breath. In the time it took Dr Wain-Wright to start speaking again, Tasha had become scared. She gripped Billie's hand even tighter in hers.
"You sustained a lot of tissue damage. There were however, as far as we could tell multiple blows to the abdomen, which were so forceful that... I'm sorry. I don't know how to say this. I'm so sorry but, you lost the baby," she finished in a low voice.
"I'll just leave you for a while." the doctor left the room in complete silence.
As the words finally wormed their way into her understanding, Tasha dropped her hand from Billie Joe's grip. She stared up at her family and friends. Their faces were ones of sorrow and confusion.
Issy opened her mouth as if to speak but Billie Joe beat her to it. Completely at a loss at to what had happened in his absence, he could only utter "Who was the..." he stopped himself short of asking, but Tasha was able to mumble an answer through her complete daze.
"Just some guy..."
Her face transformed into a mask of no emotion as her hand hit the mattress with a dull thud in the quiet room. Inside her heart slowly and brutally ripped itself to pieces and the only thought running through her head was a horrifying one.
I lost the baby... Mike's baby.
'Am I in heaven?' the smell of orange and mango floated to her nose.
She inhaled the tempting scent and a not so dull ache coursed through her body. "Okay so I'm not dead," she whispered to herself. 'Why is it so dark?'
As she began to notice other feelings in her body besides the pain, she realized that her eyes were closed. Feeling like a bit of a dickhead, she opened her eyes slowly and a bright light pierced her, sending a shooting pain straight to her skull.
Something was missing. She felt it inside her, something drastic had altered in her body. Something had changed and was not there anymore. She couldn't explain it but something had happened and she was in anguish.
As her eyes started to adjust to the light, she ventures to look round the room she was in. It was a blinding shade of white. A new smell replaced the orange and mango - the scent of disinfectant.
She was lying in the centre of the sterile white linen hospital bed sheets. The room was void of any other human contact. She was hooked up to an IV drip and alone. Only the beeps of the heart monitor to keep her company.
The ache was slightly duller now. 'Thank God for Morphine!' but the beep-beep was grinding on her nerves and she cried out. Ignoring all the signals her body was sending her, she swung her legs round earning herself a bout of sickness and a new round of pain.
She glanced down at the disgusting hospital down and touched her feet to the cold floor. The loud whimpers of pain caught the attention of a passing nurse. Seeing Tasha about to pull out her IV, she rushed in and ushered her flustered patient back to bed.
"Dear Girl, are you trying to hurt yourself more than you already are? And after I just sent your family to go home and get some rest"
"My family?" Tasha croaked with a voice of un-use and winced as a bright light shone in her eyes.
"Yes, they've been here for 3 days straight, waiting for you to wake and you do when they're not here. Ironic, isn't it?" she asked fluffing the pillows with a mothering touch. She was a plump short woman with a kind and generous face.
She smiled warmly down at Tasha. "I'll call them soon. How's the pain?"
"Bad," Tasha winced, not knowing what to grab in pain. The nurse stood contemplating for a moment.
"My name's Maddy dear. I'll ask the doctor and we'll see about upping your morphine," she said warmly. Tasha smiled around her continuous grimace as she watched Maddy check her vitals.
"Oh and your dad's a right character, such a lovely man. He... "
"Dad was here? But he absolutely hates hospitals," Tasha interrupted. Maddy smiled warmly and pulled up a chair, looking forward to a nice chat.
"Of course he's been here. He's your father. You should have seen him. He was the first in here once we called. He was ordering people left, right and centre telling them he wanted the best treatment for his little girl."
Tasha attempted to smile again but the pain stopped her. "And when you wouldn't wake up he was sick with worry. By yesterday he was a right state. He only left your side to go to the bathroom. Now that's real love."
She smiled politely and went to rise from the chair but was stopped momentarily. "Who brought me in? Do you know? I remember someone familiar calling my name before I blacked out"
"They said their name was Charlie Pitch. I'll just go alert your family and see about that morphine. You just rest yourself now," she spoke and then disappeared from the room, leaving Tasha alone with her thoughts.
She glared at the grey ceiling, attempting to blot out the pain her body was in. "Sticky found me and Dad didn't leave my side?" she let out a painful yawn and rested back on the bed. Her eyes began to droop in exhaustion and in a matter of minutes she was in a semi peaceful sleep.
A number of hours later consciousness set in and Tasha's eyes started to open. The light seemed not so bright this time around. The pain was less then it had been and she silently thanked whatever god was listening to her pleas.
Her body was warm, like freshly made toast. The room which before had been void of any colour now held some of her favourite posters. Huge bouquet's of flowers were at every corner, every surface, every nook and cranny. Bunches of red, orange and yellow, white, purple and pink gave warm splashes throughout the room.
As her mind began to adjust to her now awake state, she felt a weight on the bed, near her arm. Another hand was holding hers. This hand was slightly larger than her own, but just as ruff - a guitarist's hand.
Billie Joe's face and upper body rested on the mattress, half asleep with exhaustion. His face was lying on one side and lengthy black hair hung over is partially open eyes. His breathing was slow and steady.
For minutes on end Tasha watched him unnoticed. Her eyes followed his every movement, even something as tiny as a hitch in his breath. She squeezed his hand lightly in hers and his breath hitched again.
Believing he was imagining things, his breathing returned to its slow, rise and fall. He closed his green eyes tightly as if attempting to empty his thoughts and return to his endless emptiness.
"Please wake up baby girl. I want to see my eyes in yours again. I wish I could see our eyes and hear our voice," he mumbled into the mattress.
Secretly smiling to herself, Tasha squeezed his hand again hoping for a better reaction than she got last time. Her dad delivered. He sprung from his sprawled out position on the mattress.
His eyes were wide and focused solely on her face. "My God, do it again?" He asked. Understanding him completely, she grabbed Billie Joe's hand tightly, rubbing soothing circles on his skin with her thumb.
He showed her a cheesy grin, revealing his slightly crooked but white teeth. He pulled her heavily drugged hand to his chapped lips and placed a single and simple kiss upon the bruised knuckles. Smiling sleepily, she rested her head back on the pillows feeling tired again.
He frowned momentarily, but smiled at her once more. "Don't go to sleep darling. Stay awake for daddy and I'll buy you a pink pony like you've always wanted," he urged. Her smile dissolved into a drawn out yawn and she started to release the grip on Billie Joe's hand.
"I've grown out of the pony stage dad. I'll stay awake as long as I can," she answered him firmly. "...and besides where would you have found a pink pony?" she laughed heartily, letting her eyes flutter closed momentarily.
He pretended to think this through, as he pulled his chair even closer to the bed. He leaned towards his daughters cut and bruised face, hesitantly reaching out with his hand. With careful fingers, he traced a particularly nasty cut down her face.
Tears formed at the corner of his eyes, threatening to slip down his cheek and mix with hers. "I'd have brought you a pony and dyed it pink," he grinned, laughing at his own lousy solution.
He watched her bite her lip hard enough to draw blood. She was hesitating to ask something and it cut him slightly. "There won't be any scarring. The ground scraped you up pretty bad, but your body will be back to normal in no time," he assured her calmly brushing hair behind her small ear.
"I was going to ask how long I've been here. Who knows about this? And what's wrong with me?" she asked touching his hair in return. He threw his head back running his tongue over his teeth, processing all her questions. Drawing a deep breath, he moved from his chair to the bed taking Tasha's hand in his.
"You've been her for about a week. Everyone close to us knows you're here and the police have been contacted so they are going to want to talk to you soon, but I can't tell you what's wrong. The doctor kept it to herself until you finally came around. She thought it was best that you hear it first," he said very slowly making sure that Tasha had understood him.
"So you don't know?" she clarified.
"Yes that's right" he answered. A silence filled the room, until a thought finally entered Billie's head. "I met your friends! They've come to visit you every day. Their great kids, I can see why you hang out with them. They told me to tell you that they've started fixing the park," he smiled at her caring smile.
"I'm glad," she whispered to him, as if it was the biggest secret in the world.
"But where's mum? And who sent all these beautiful flowers?" she asked. A lot of the flowers situated around the room where lilies - her favourite.
"Your mum couldn't stay awake anymore so Doctor Wayne-Wright ordered her to go home. The flowers are from all the guys in Oakland. They've been really worried. Mike and Tre have been calling every chance they get" he laughed.
5 seconds later, Tasha's eyes widened and her bottom lip quivered. "You said it's been a week! You're going home soon. I've missed my time with you," she cried, wiping her eyes fiercely trying to stop any tears.
Her face stung as she lost her battle and salty tears landed on her cuts. Billie Joe wrapped his arm around his precious daughter's waist and began rubbing her lower back, gently splaying his hand across her tender flesh. She embraced him, snuggling into his warm body.
He held her delicately in his arms, as if she were the most fragile and important thing in his life. Not getting enough from him in that moment, Tasha pulled him flush against her body, ignoring the physical pain. She just revelled in holding his full attention and love.
"Don't go please," she mumbled broken heartedly into his shoulder blade. His face fell as he felt his daughter's tears splash against his neck. A sharp searing pain hit his heart as her pain became his for a split second. He knew because it was the same pain he felt. They both felt the separation. Even after ten years it was still as clear in their minds as if it was yesterday.
Billie Joe threaded his fingers through Tasha's hair and pulled her face away from his shoulder as gently as he could. He stared into her tear-clouded and fearful eyes with no hesitation. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying here until your band has to move. You don't have to worry anymore sweetheart."
"Who told you about that?" Tasha asked, sniffing cutely. Billie Joe swept up a tear from her left eye before it fell onto her delicate face. "Your mum told me darling. Its amazing news to get, even if had been under circumstances."
A lock of long hair flopped in front of Tasha's eyes. She hid behind it as she spoke to him. "Are you happy?"
"How could I not be happy that my daughter is moving back to California?" He grinned, widening his eyes for the fun of it. She grinned back, tenderly reaching for Billie's hand again. "Because you're a retard."
Apparently not having understood what she had called him, he kissed her knuckles once more and leaned back in his seat. His tired eyes snapped open widely as her words finally dawned on him.
His mouth dropped open and he stuttered as he began to talk "W-What did you c-c-call me?"
Pulling herself up into a sitting position, Tasha leaned out of the hospital cot, ignoring the painful twinge in her stomach so she could peck his cheek. "I said you're a retard daddy," she whispered into his hair.
Billie Joe grinned adoringly and threw his head back, laughing high and loud. He watched Tasha settle back into the pillows with her teeth attached to her bottom lip. His face turned into a frown and back again as the door burst open and everybody rushed in. They tripped over each other in the hurry to get inside.
Issy was the first to rush to her daughter, followed by Leo and Mikey, Tanisha, Tom and Andy. Issy grabbed Tasha's other hand and held to close to her bosom. She stared at her daughter with liquid crystal tears in her eyes as everyone crowded around the bed.
Leo was next to Issy holding onto her shoulder. Mikey was sitting gingerly on the mattress next to Tasha's knees. Tom and Andy were standing at the base of the bed with almost identical raised eyebrows and smiles. Lastly Tanisha had somehow managed to place herself next to Billie Joe on Tasha's right.
Tasha smiled lazily at her friends and family. No one said a thing; everyone stood or sat around holding their breath, waiting for a word. "Hi everyone."
With those two words the floodgates opened and voices reigned from every corner. Issy threw herself at her daughter, burying her in a gentle hug. Much to Billie's chagrin, Leo kissed Tasha's forehead and told her he loved her.
Mikey crawled up the bed until her was level with Tasha. She pulled her young brother into a kiss and smiled as he made spluttering noises. "I love you too little bro."
Tom and Andy produced a huge box of chocolates from behind their backs. They claimed that it was to save her from disgusting hospital food, but she suspected that they felt guilty for not walking home with her.
Tanisha however was very much the chatter box, which suited Billie Joe perfectly. They were continuously chatting about nothing and everything. The atmosphere very much resembled a family reunion right down to a T. It even had the crazy uncle in the form of Tom. Except - There was an underlining tension between Billie Joe and Leo and an apprehension of a talk with the police.
After a time, there was a gentle knock at the door and in walked a young woman about 27 years old. She was wearing the white hospital coat and a warming smile. She introduced herself as Doctor Wain-Wright. "Hi Tasha, how are you feeling now?"
"Okay Doc, but I'm a bit uncomfortable with the pain," she answered. Dr Wain-Wright nodded kindly, but got straight to the point she needed to get to.
"I'd like to talk to you about why you're here. Would you prefer to do this in private, or?" she asked, flicking her eyes across everybody carefully.
"No, that's okay Doc. This is my family, they should hear it as well," Tasha answered selflessly, squeezing Billie's hand in the process.
"Okay. May I take a seat?" she asked indicating a vacant chair. With a single nod Dr Wain-Wright had sat down.
"Well Tasha. I'm afraid when you were attacked your body sustained very severe blows," she started, waiting for Tasha to take in what she had said.
"You cracked 5 of your ribs and there was minor damage to your brain which induced the small coma." Billie Joe snorted into his hand muttering to himself.
"Minor damage? Pst."
She stopped speaking momentarily, taking in a small breath. In the time it took Dr Wain-Wright to start speaking again, Tasha had become scared. She gripped Billie's hand even tighter in hers.
"You sustained a lot of tissue damage. There were however, as far as we could tell multiple blows to the abdomen, which were so forceful that... I'm sorry. I don't know how to say this. I'm so sorry but, you lost the baby," she finished in a low voice.
"I'll just leave you for a while." the doctor left the room in complete silence.
As the words finally wormed their way into her understanding, Tasha dropped her hand from Billie Joe's grip. She stared up at her family and friends. Their faces were ones of sorrow and confusion.
Issy opened her mouth as if to speak but Billie Joe beat her to it. Completely at a loss at to what had happened in his absence, he could only utter "Who was the..." he stopped himself short of asking, but Tasha was able to mumble an answer through her complete daze.
"Just some guy..."
Her face transformed into a mask of no emotion as her hand hit the mattress with a dull thud in the quiet room. Inside her heart slowly and brutally ripped itself to pieces and the only thought running through her head was a horrifying one.
I lost the baby... Mike's baby.
