80 (Adie Please Keep Taking Me Away) - The Sequel, chapter 1
Could winners still be loser's running on the same track?
Billie Joe pondered on this thought as he stood at the edge of the building. He felt the angst flow through his veins, and felt the cold air strike him in the face making the hair on his neck stand on edge also his current emotions caused this too. Billie Joe had become a roller coaster at the end of it's road, he was sick to his stomach and he wanted to jump out or in his case off. The abstract of everything was making everything hard. He began to breath slowly with thoughts of panic and self-destruction consuming him. It was sinking in making things more difficult. He edged even closer to the edge, the tip of his converse now seeing the long way down. Some people head for glory others crash. Billie Joe persuaded himself to not be coaxed out of his decision, he was going to die. When he is dead, gone, vanished without a trace, no more. There will be no more thinking, no more anxiety, no more breathing, no more feelings of any kind. There will be blackness and only black and it will be eternal. There was going to be a silence. A silence that lasts forever, he was going to die.
Die.
Vanish.
Dead.
Gone.
Die.
Adrienne sat in the hotel room accompanied by Mike, he told her the events that had happened between him and Billie Joe earlier.
"I need to go find Billie," asked Adrienne staring at the tacky hotel carpet.
"He'll be fine let him drain his frustration out," said Mike.
"But, he's been gone a while. I'm worried."
"He's probably just walking around the city. He does that when he's upset," said Mike.
"Probably. But Mike why won't he talk to me? He used to tell me everything, now it seems he's keeping everything bottled up inside of him and I'm worried. Worried he might do something..." said Adrienne as her voice grew raspy. She was trying to push the tears aside as much as she could.
"What do you mean by something? You don't mean-" said Mike cutting himself off in mid sentence. Adrienne bit her bottom lip and nodded. It was no use the tears escaped and fell from her eyes. There was a gleam in her eyes, but not a happy gleam, a gleam filled with anguish and wretchedness. She watched the tears stain the bedspread. Stains that could never disappear. They were tears that were permanent filled with love and misery at the same time. They would kill to see the gleam in Billie Joe's eyes a gleam of security and reassurance.
But there is no gleam in a dead man's eye.
Billie Joe now in the position to jump, feeling the freezing temperatures whip him in the last time The frozen ground below him.
Anger.
Rage.
Hatred.
Shame.
Horror.
All fusing into fury, the perfect beauty and terrible fury.
Then a thought burst in his head. What about Adie?
"Adie," he whispered to himself as tears appeared in the corner of his eye.
He pictured her in his head. The most beautiful girl he ever laid eyes on. The women he fell in love with. Her smile, the smell of her hair, the feeling of her soft warm skin, the color in her eyes, and her beauty. He stayed dead on this thought for a few moments. He wanted to get her description embedded in his head.
He knew where he was going there was no beauty.
"Hey," said Mike lifting her chin up, "Billie will be fine. He's just upset about shit right now. Billie isn't that vulnerable, he's one of the strongest people I know. Plus you have a baby on the way. Everything will be fine in the end."
"Thanks Mike."
"No problem. Well I think I'm going to head to Starbucks down the street. Wanna come?"
"No, I think I'll stay here and wait for Billie Joe," said Adrienne forcing somewhat of a fake weak smile.
"All right see you in a bit," said Mike as we walked out.
Adrienne watched Mike leave. She wasn't convinced that everything was fine, but she did have to admit she didn't think Billie Joe would grow that weak.
Or could he?
"Adie," Billie Joe repeated to himself once again. He looked at the ground far below him again. Suddenly he heard a voice yell at him. The voice he wanted.
The voice he needed.
"Billie," said Adrienne. She walked over to him slowly unsure of what he was going to do.
"Billie please don't," she said as tears escaped from the corner of her eyes. She edged closer to him. She held out her hand.
"Please Billie Joe," she said as her voice cracked as a tear traced down her cheek. Her eyes twinkling. Billie Joe hesitated, but took it. His cold shaking hand grasped into Adie's. He stepped down from the edge.
They both broke down and guided each other to the ground hand in hand. Tears from both slipping out immensely. Adrienne instantly broke down. He felt her cry on his chest. The moisture of tears seeping through his shirt.
He couldn't take it anymore.
The crying and guilt he began to feel.
It was his fault she was feeling this way. He can't let her accept any of the blame.
He put his arms around her. He loves her, she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Her fingers clutching into his shirt as his did on hers. Adrienne felt Billie Joe shaking. She held him, squeezed him. He presses himself against her, still crying.
Their bodies pressed against each other. Shirts now scared with tears.
"Billie, it's okay," Adrienne whispered in his ear. Her head resting in his shoulder as she ran her fingers through his hair.
"It's okay," said Adrienne holding him.
Okay.
Okay.
She held him in her arms. Billie Joe believed her everything was going to be okay.
Billie Joe held her tighter. She was the only thing he had at the moment, the thing he needed.
"I'm scared," said Billie Joe looking into Adrienne's swollen and stain of tears eyes.
"Don't be," said Adrienne holding him tighter. If she let go he would fall apart.
"I've got nothing," said Billie Joe.
"You have me," said Adrienne.
"What are we going to do?" asked Billie Joe.
"Get through it...together," said Adrienne.
He still holds her as she holds him.
Deep heavy breaths are the only thing that could be heard in the late silent night. Calmed down a bit they feel safe in each others arms. Billie Joe placed his hand on Adrienne's heart. The rhythm of her heartbeat reassured him that everything was going to be alright.
Adrienne looked into Billie Joe's eyes. His eyes are filled with fear, vulnerability, and pain.
Finally, they spoke...
Billie Joe pondered on this thought as he stood at the edge of the building. He felt the angst flow through his veins, and felt the cold air strike him in the face making the hair on his neck stand on edge also his current emotions caused this too. Billie Joe had become a roller coaster at the end of it's road, he was sick to his stomach and he wanted to jump out or in his case off. The abstract of everything was making everything hard. He began to breath slowly with thoughts of panic and self-destruction consuming him. It was sinking in making things more difficult. He edged even closer to the edge, the tip of his converse now seeing the long way down. Some people head for glory others crash. Billie Joe persuaded himself to not be coaxed out of his decision, he was going to die. When he is dead, gone, vanished without a trace, no more. There will be no more thinking, no more anxiety, no more breathing, no more feelings of any kind. There will be blackness and only black and it will be eternal. There was going to be a silence. A silence that lasts forever, he was going to die.
Die.
Vanish.
Dead.
Gone.
Die.
Adrienne sat in the hotel room accompanied by Mike, he told her the events that had happened between him and Billie Joe earlier.
"I need to go find Billie," asked Adrienne staring at the tacky hotel carpet.
"He'll be fine let him drain his frustration out," said Mike.
"But, he's been gone a while. I'm worried."
"He's probably just walking around the city. He does that when he's upset," said Mike.
"Probably. But Mike why won't he talk to me? He used to tell me everything, now it seems he's keeping everything bottled up inside of him and I'm worried. Worried he might do something..." said Adrienne as her voice grew raspy. She was trying to push the tears aside as much as she could.
"What do you mean by something? You don't mean-" said Mike cutting himself off in mid sentence. Adrienne bit her bottom lip and nodded. It was no use the tears escaped and fell from her eyes. There was a gleam in her eyes, but not a happy gleam, a gleam filled with anguish and wretchedness. She watched the tears stain the bedspread. Stains that could never disappear. They were tears that were permanent filled with love and misery at the same time. They would kill to see the gleam in Billie Joe's eyes a gleam of security and reassurance.
But there is no gleam in a dead man's eye.
Billie Joe now in the position to jump, feeling the freezing temperatures whip him in the last time The frozen ground below him.
Anger.
Rage.
Hatred.
Shame.
Horror.
All fusing into fury, the perfect beauty and terrible fury.
Then a thought burst in his head. What about Adie?
"Adie," he whispered to himself as tears appeared in the corner of his eye.
He pictured her in his head. The most beautiful girl he ever laid eyes on. The women he fell in love with. Her smile, the smell of her hair, the feeling of her soft warm skin, the color in her eyes, and her beauty. He stayed dead on this thought for a few moments. He wanted to get her description embedded in his head.
He knew where he was going there was no beauty.
"Hey," said Mike lifting her chin up, "Billie will be fine. He's just upset about shit right now. Billie isn't that vulnerable, he's one of the strongest people I know. Plus you have a baby on the way. Everything will be fine in the end."
"Thanks Mike."
"No problem. Well I think I'm going to head to Starbucks down the street. Wanna come?"
"No, I think I'll stay here and wait for Billie Joe," said Adrienne forcing somewhat of a fake weak smile.
"All right see you in a bit," said Mike as we walked out.
Adrienne watched Mike leave. She wasn't convinced that everything was fine, but she did have to admit she didn't think Billie Joe would grow that weak.
Or could he?
"Adie," Billie Joe repeated to himself once again. He looked at the ground far below him again. Suddenly he heard a voice yell at him. The voice he wanted.
The voice he needed.
"Billie," said Adrienne. She walked over to him slowly unsure of what he was going to do.
"Billie please don't," she said as tears escaped from the corner of her eyes. She edged closer to him. She held out her hand.
"Please Billie Joe," she said as her voice cracked as a tear traced down her cheek. Her eyes twinkling. Billie Joe hesitated, but took it. His cold shaking hand grasped into Adie's. He stepped down from the edge.
They both broke down and guided each other to the ground hand in hand. Tears from both slipping out immensely. Adrienne instantly broke down. He felt her cry on his chest. The moisture of tears seeping through his shirt.
He couldn't take it anymore.
The crying and guilt he began to feel.
It was his fault she was feeling this way. He can't let her accept any of the blame.
He put his arms around her. He loves her, she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Her fingers clutching into his shirt as his did on hers. Adrienne felt Billie Joe shaking. She held him, squeezed him. He presses himself against her, still crying.
Their bodies pressed against each other. Shirts now scared with tears.
"Billie, it's okay," Adrienne whispered in his ear. Her head resting in his shoulder as she ran her fingers through his hair.
"It's okay," said Adrienne holding him.
Okay.
Okay.
She held him in her arms. Billie Joe believed her everything was going to be okay.
Billie Joe held her tighter. She was the only thing he had at the moment, the thing he needed.
"I'm scared," said Billie Joe looking into Adrienne's swollen and stain of tears eyes.
"Don't be," said Adrienne holding him tighter. If she let go he would fall apart.
"I've got nothing," said Billie Joe.
"You have me," said Adrienne.
"What are we going to do?" asked Billie Joe.
"Get through it...together," said Adrienne.
He still holds her as she holds him.
Deep heavy breaths are the only thing that could be heard in the late silent night. Calmed down a bit they feel safe in each others arms. Billie Joe placed his hand on Adrienne's heart. The rhythm of her heartbeat reassured him that everything was going to be alright.
Adrienne looked into Billie Joe's eyes. His eyes are filled with fear, vulnerability, and pain.
Finally, they spoke...
