Hurt Beneath My Skin, chapter 2
Billie looked at his daughter. She grinned madly when her phone went off, indicating she had just received another text. He smiled as she laughed when she read it. He saw her fingers move across the keypad of the phone as she replied. They were beautiful fingers, soft and young.. And then he looked at her wrists, scarred from her self harming, her arms scarred by abusive treatment. His eyes narrowed as he looked at the fading cuts, as he imagined the vanishing bruises as they were three months ago, purple and obvious. He knew that as soon as she had to leave the safe confines of her hotel room she would put on arm warmers or a long sleeved top or a jumper and he hated that she had to do that.
"Her bruises are almost gone," commented Mike who had followed Billie's gaze. Billie just nodded, continuing to observe his daughter. "You're worried aren't you?" Mike read his friend's mind. Billie looked at him.
"What if this guy is like John? What kind of father would I be if I let her go through that shit twice? In one year? What happens if he really hurts her, I would never be able to forgive myself." Mike looked at him with sympathy.
"Bill, you gotta let her make the decisions in her love life. I know it's hard," he out a hand up to stop his friend from interrupting him, "but she's learned her lesson. If this guy is like John, she'll realize and back out before she gets hurt again, she's not stupid and you've got to remember that she was the one who got hurt most, she's not going to let herself go through that pain again." Billie sighed.
"You're right, I just can't help worrying." Mike laughed softly.
"It's what fathers were made for." Billie nodded in agreement.
"I'm with you on that mate."
Lying down on the soft white sheets of the hotel bed Kat thought about Steven. He was sweet, and hot and nineteen. Perfect. But then she stopped. John had been sweet and hot and sixteen. She buried her head in her pillow, this was all so confusing. She opened her eyes quickly as her phone vibrated. She flipped it open and pressed 'read' on the text alert.
'I can't stop thinking about you, you're too fucking gorgeous. How about lunch tomorrow? You can meet my mates if you like. Text back, Steven xxx'
She giggled at the cheesy but comforting text, quickly stabbing a reply.
'That would be great. Same time as today? I'd love to meet your mates, and I'm not gorgeous. Lol, Kat xxx'
Shutting her phone again she lay her head down on the pillow and sighed. How did she know he was for real? Her instincts told her to go for it, that he was fine and safe, but her brain told her never to go near a guy again. Which should she follow?
"Chloe? Chloe?" She whispered. The sleeping girl groaned at being woken up.
"What?"
"If your brain and instincts are clashing, which do you follow?" She continued in a whisper.
"Instincts," and the other girl fell asleep again. Kat smiled. Sorted. She let her mind wander. Suddenly brought back to reality by the vibrating phone. She opened it and read the text.
'Yeah, same time, I'll pick you up again, we can meet my mates after lunch, you are gorgeous but I'm going to bed now, I'm tired and sad, lol, night, Steve xxx'
Kat replied and then drifted off into an uneasy night of dreams and nightmares, waking up in the morning screaming in a cold sweat.
Chloe sat bolt upright at the sound of her best friend's screams. She jumped out of bed and sprinted the couple of meters to the other side of the room to Kat's bed, shaking her roughly to wake her. Kat opened her eyes just as Billie, Mike, and Tre ran in.
"What happened?" Billie asked.
"Bad dream, I think," Chloe responded for Kat, who nodded. She lay back down and closed her eyes. When she opened them again all four people were still there. She groaned and looked at her watch. Nine am. She had got approximately 3 hours sleep overall. She climbed out of bed and surveyed herself in the mirror. It made her cringe. Her greasy hair was all over the place and her round face was pale and sweaty. She looked away quickly and walked toward the bathroom, grabbing a towel on the way.
Slightly after twelve Steven pulled up beside Kat in his car. She opened the door and they drove. Billie watched from his room, his eyes narrowed. After all, what father doesn't mind they're fifteen year old baby girl date a nineteen year old with dreadlocks and leather.
"Wassup?" Tre asked, coming over to where Billie was standing.
"He's nineteen, for God's sake, nineteen!" Tre looked down at the street below him. Cars were coming and going in both directions and pedestrians crowded the pavement.
"Remember when you first went to meet Adie's parents?" Billie nodded, grimacing at the memory. "You came back that night yelling and screaming that her father had been prejudiced against you because you were punk. Me and Mike had to leave the house to get some fucking sleep." Billie laughed slightly, he was on good terms with Adie's dad now. "Well you're being just as prejudiced with this guy. OK, so he's a little older than her, and he's not into our type of music, but he's not a poser and if you think about it, he asked her out on a date before he knew her age, so he didn't go out purposely to get a young kid and also, he's risking getting the piss taken out of him by his mates for dating someone that much younger than him and if he's willing to risk that then he obviously likes Kat quite a lot." Billie stared at Tre. He looked down at the cars speeding to and fro in the road and sighed.
"You're right." He turned his back and began to get dressed for the interview he had in half an hour.
Kat and Steven walked toward the primary school. The burning sun scorched the pavement and Kat was begging to regret putting on knee length converse. The bell went for the end of school and within five minutes all the children were running out of the building, screaming at the top of their voices.
"How come you're mom doesn't come and pick you're sister up?" she asked. Steven looked up at her.
"She's always at work. Ever since dad left she's had to work almost 24/7 just to keep the fucking house."
"I'm sorry," Kat aid, "that must be hard." Steven nodded.
"A little, but I'm used to it now, besides, I'm nineteen, I need to start looking for a place of my own." She nodded and watched as a small girl with black hair and amazing blue eyes sprinted up to them and jumped into Steven's arms. He laughed.
"Hey sis, how was school?" His sister shrugged and turned to look at Kat.
"Fine. Who's that?" She indicated Kat.
"That's a friend." Steven replied.
"Is she your girlfriend?" Kat reddened slightly, was she Steven's girlfriend? He hadn't technically asked her to be. Steven looked her in the eyes.
"If she wants to be," Kat grinned and nodded slightly. OK, dilemma settled.
Walking to the park Steven slipped his arm around Kat's waist, she grinned happily. His sister skipped along in front of them, trying in vain to catch butterflies that were skimming her hair and fluttering around her head. They walked up to a group of four people who were sitting in the sun, soaking up it's heat. Steven sat down and Kat followed.
"It's Stevey!" Yelled one boy and he ran up and jumped on Steven, a wrestling match followed in which Steven won. A girl walked up to Kat and sat beside her, laughing.
"Embarrassing, hey?" she said, "I'm Sally, loser over there's girlfriend. You must be Kat. We've heard a lot about you," she replied to Kat's confused look at how the stranger knew her name. Kat laughed. Steven came and sat the other side of Kat smiling and slightly out of breath. The other boy had a scowl on his face.
The scowl disappeared when he saw Kat.
"Katherine Josie Armstrong, what the fuck are you doing here?"
"Hi Pete. Dad's on tour and I came to visit."
"You two know each other?" Steven and Sally both asked at the same time. Kat nodded.
"I met Pete here at some guitar show my dad went to. We've met up a few times before but not for ages!"
"Yeah, it's been to long." Pete flopped down next to the other two guys. "Oh yeah, this is Jack and this is Randy." Kat nodded.
"Hi." The boys just looked at her. She shrugged and pulled a packet of cigarettes from her small bag.
Placing it in her mouth she rummaged around for her lighter. Once found she lit up the small white stick and inhaled deeply.
"Haven't been able to do that for ages." She said.
"You never told me you smoked," Steven said.
"You never asked. I don't do it often, mom or dad are always around, or someone who would tell them. And dad would murder me if he found out I smoked."
"Why?"
"His dad died of lung cancer because he smoked. Though if you ask me he is in no position to tell me not to do anything, considering his hobbies when he was my age." She took another drag of the cigarette and offered one to everyone else. Sally took one and so did Steven and Pete, the other two boy's didn't touch them. Kat shrugged and slipped the packet into her bag, handing round the lighter.
"It's just nicotine in these right?" Sally asked.
"Yeah, I don't have any weed with me, couldn't get it across customs." Sally nodded. "Don't you do drugs?" Kat asked the older girl. She shook her head.
"My parents are druggies and they beat me pretty bad when they're stoned so I vowed never to do any drugs."
"Fair enough. My dad gets stoned occasionally but he's not to bad only on weed. If it's anything more he goes slightly psycho but nothing mom can't sort."
"How does she do that?" Randy suddenly piped up. Kat laughed.
"You don't wanna know. All I hear are the screams and moans."
"Not nice." Sally said. Kat shook her head.
"My bedrooms right next to theirs as well." Sally laughed
"Sucker!" She yelled. Kat laughed.
Suddenly she spotted someone she knew only too well staring at her from across the park.
"Fuck," she whispered.
"What?" Steven asked suddenly.
"N... Nothing, I erm, Pete can I talk to you?" he nodded and followed her a little way away. He turned to her.
"What's up?" he asked. She pointed to the guy standing on the other side of the small park. He was clearly visible and still staring.
"Is that... " she nodded. "Go home. I'll take care of it. See you tomorrow. You want me or Steven to walk you home?" She nodded. They walked back over to the group. "Steve, we're gonna walk Kat home OK?" Steven nodded looking utterly confused. "Bye guys," she said and the three of them walked in the direction of Kat's hotel.
But Kat lost Steven and Pete in the crowds. She noticed they weren't behind her. The fear built up inside her as she noticed the guy walking behind her, his eye was fixed on her. She let out a dry sod of terror and began to walk quicker. The crowds began to thin and the sun disappeared. A breeze chilled her as she walked. She was five minutes from the hotel, when someone grabbed her and yanked her into an alleyway. She screamed but a hand found its way over her mouth. The person slammed her against the wall of a house. She began to sob as her head hit the hard bricks. She looked at the man. He grinned at her, slowly unbuckling her belt.
"Tell no one," the man whispered hoarsely into her ear when he had finished, "and meet me hear again, this time tomorrow." She sobbed as he threw her onto the pavement in front of the alleyway. "If anyone finds out, I will kill you." He walked away. Kat lay sobbing on the pavement for what seemed like ages. Suddenly her mobile rang. She pulled it out. DAD, said the caller ID, she flipped it open.
"Hello?"
"Kat? Fuck, where are you? What's happened, why are crying?" Kat didn't answer she just sobbed. "I'm gonna come pick you up, where are you?"
"I don't know," she sobbed harder. "I'll walk home, I'm fine, I'll be there soon." She put the phone down and began to walk to the hotel.
She opened the door to her suite and collapsed into her fathers arms, crying. He didn't say anything he just held her as Mike, Tre, and Chloe looked on helpless. When she had calmed down Billie looked at her.
"What happened?" he asked. She shook her head. "Why won't you tell me?"
"I can't, don't dad, please," she sobbed running into the bathroom. She locked the door. Grabbing a razor blade she quickly slid it across her arm, gasping at the pain. Billie was banging on the door.
"C' mon Kat, please don't do that. Please, you gave up, don't throw that away, please, for Christ's sake talk to me. No one can hurt you." She sobbed as the blood oozed slowly from the cut.
She was stupid, she hated herself for what she had just done. The blade cut into her skin again. What kind of fucking slag was she? She got beaten terribly and three months later she was dating someone again, who was nineteen, slut. Blooded poured from a third cut. Again and again she drew the blade quickly across her skin until she began to feel weak, she needed help, her head spun. She unlocked the door and stumbled out of the bathroom. She took two steps, she saw Billie rushing up to her when at the red fountain flowing from her cuts, Mike grabbing the phone, Chloe screaming, Tre with Billie. She collapsed, dropping the razor blade and she fell to the floor, unconscious.
"Her bruises are almost gone," commented Mike who had followed Billie's gaze. Billie just nodded, continuing to observe his daughter. "You're worried aren't you?" Mike read his friend's mind. Billie looked at him.
"What if this guy is like John? What kind of father would I be if I let her go through that shit twice? In one year? What happens if he really hurts her, I would never be able to forgive myself." Mike looked at him with sympathy.
"Bill, you gotta let her make the decisions in her love life. I know it's hard," he out a hand up to stop his friend from interrupting him, "but she's learned her lesson. If this guy is like John, she'll realize and back out before she gets hurt again, she's not stupid and you've got to remember that she was the one who got hurt most, she's not going to let herself go through that pain again." Billie sighed.
"You're right, I just can't help worrying." Mike laughed softly.
"It's what fathers were made for." Billie nodded in agreement.
"I'm with you on that mate."
Lying down on the soft white sheets of the hotel bed Kat thought about Steven. He was sweet, and hot and nineteen. Perfect. But then she stopped. John had been sweet and hot and sixteen. She buried her head in her pillow, this was all so confusing. She opened her eyes quickly as her phone vibrated. She flipped it open and pressed 'read' on the text alert.
'I can't stop thinking about you, you're too fucking gorgeous. How about lunch tomorrow? You can meet my mates if you like. Text back, Steven xxx'
She giggled at the cheesy but comforting text, quickly stabbing a reply.
'That would be great. Same time as today? I'd love to meet your mates, and I'm not gorgeous. Lol, Kat xxx'
Shutting her phone again she lay her head down on the pillow and sighed. How did she know he was for real? Her instincts told her to go for it, that he was fine and safe, but her brain told her never to go near a guy again. Which should she follow?
"Chloe? Chloe?" She whispered. The sleeping girl groaned at being woken up.
"What?"
"If your brain and instincts are clashing, which do you follow?" She continued in a whisper.
"Instincts," and the other girl fell asleep again. Kat smiled. Sorted. She let her mind wander. Suddenly brought back to reality by the vibrating phone. She opened it and read the text.
'Yeah, same time, I'll pick you up again, we can meet my mates after lunch, you are gorgeous but I'm going to bed now, I'm tired and sad, lol, night, Steve xxx'
Kat replied and then drifted off into an uneasy night of dreams and nightmares, waking up in the morning screaming in a cold sweat.
Chloe sat bolt upright at the sound of her best friend's screams. She jumped out of bed and sprinted the couple of meters to the other side of the room to Kat's bed, shaking her roughly to wake her. Kat opened her eyes just as Billie, Mike, and Tre ran in.
"What happened?" Billie asked.
"Bad dream, I think," Chloe responded for Kat, who nodded. She lay back down and closed her eyes. When she opened them again all four people were still there. She groaned and looked at her watch. Nine am. She had got approximately 3 hours sleep overall. She climbed out of bed and surveyed herself in the mirror. It made her cringe. Her greasy hair was all over the place and her round face was pale and sweaty. She looked away quickly and walked toward the bathroom, grabbing a towel on the way.
Slightly after twelve Steven pulled up beside Kat in his car. She opened the door and they drove. Billie watched from his room, his eyes narrowed. After all, what father doesn't mind they're fifteen year old baby girl date a nineteen year old with dreadlocks and leather.
"Wassup?" Tre asked, coming over to where Billie was standing.
"He's nineteen, for God's sake, nineteen!" Tre looked down at the street below him. Cars were coming and going in both directions and pedestrians crowded the pavement.
"Remember when you first went to meet Adie's parents?" Billie nodded, grimacing at the memory. "You came back that night yelling and screaming that her father had been prejudiced against you because you were punk. Me and Mike had to leave the house to get some fucking sleep." Billie laughed slightly, he was on good terms with Adie's dad now. "Well you're being just as prejudiced with this guy. OK, so he's a little older than her, and he's not into our type of music, but he's not a poser and if you think about it, he asked her out on a date before he knew her age, so he didn't go out purposely to get a young kid and also, he's risking getting the piss taken out of him by his mates for dating someone that much younger than him and if he's willing to risk that then he obviously likes Kat quite a lot." Billie stared at Tre. He looked down at the cars speeding to and fro in the road and sighed.
"You're right." He turned his back and began to get dressed for the interview he had in half an hour.
Kat and Steven walked toward the primary school. The burning sun scorched the pavement and Kat was begging to regret putting on knee length converse. The bell went for the end of school and within five minutes all the children were running out of the building, screaming at the top of their voices.
"How come you're mom doesn't come and pick you're sister up?" she asked. Steven looked up at her.
"She's always at work. Ever since dad left she's had to work almost 24/7 just to keep the fucking house."
"I'm sorry," Kat aid, "that must be hard." Steven nodded.
"A little, but I'm used to it now, besides, I'm nineteen, I need to start looking for a place of my own." She nodded and watched as a small girl with black hair and amazing blue eyes sprinted up to them and jumped into Steven's arms. He laughed.
"Hey sis, how was school?" His sister shrugged and turned to look at Kat.
"Fine. Who's that?" She indicated Kat.
"That's a friend." Steven replied.
"Is she your girlfriend?" Kat reddened slightly, was she Steven's girlfriend? He hadn't technically asked her to be. Steven looked her in the eyes.
"If she wants to be," Kat grinned and nodded slightly. OK, dilemma settled.
Walking to the park Steven slipped his arm around Kat's waist, she grinned happily. His sister skipped along in front of them, trying in vain to catch butterflies that were skimming her hair and fluttering around her head. They walked up to a group of four people who were sitting in the sun, soaking up it's heat. Steven sat down and Kat followed.
"It's Stevey!" Yelled one boy and he ran up and jumped on Steven, a wrestling match followed in which Steven won. A girl walked up to Kat and sat beside her, laughing.
"Embarrassing, hey?" she said, "I'm Sally, loser over there's girlfriend. You must be Kat. We've heard a lot about you," she replied to Kat's confused look at how the stranger knew her name. Kat laughed. Steven came and sat the other side of Kat smiling and slightly out of breath. The other boy had a scowl on his face.
The scowl disappeared when he saw Kat.
"Katherine Josie Armstrong, what the fuck are you doing here?"
"Hi Pete. Dad's on tour and I came to visit."
"You two know each other?" Steven and Sally both asked at the same time. Kat nodded.
"I met Pete here at some guitar show my dad went to. We've met up a few times before but not for ages!"
"Yeah, it's been to long." Pete flopped down next to the other two guys. "Oh yeah, this is Jack and this is Randy." Kat nodded.
"Hi." The boys just looked at her. She shrugged and pulled a packet of cigarettes from her small bag.
Placing it in her mouth she rummaged around for her lighter. Once found she lit up the small white stick and inhaled deeply.
"Haven't been able to do that for ages." She said.
"You never told me you smoked," Steven said.
"You never asked. I don't do it often, mom or dad are always around, or someone who would tell them. And dad would murder me if he found out I smoked."
"Why?"
"His dad died of lung cancer because he smoked. Though if you ask me he is in no position to tell me not to do anything, considering his hobbies when he was my age." She took another drag of the cigarette and offered one to everyone else. Sally took one and so did Steven and Pete, the other two boy's didn't touch them. Kat shrugged and slipped the packet into her bag, handing round the lighter.
"It's just nicotine in these right?" Sally asked.
"Yeah, I don't have any weed with me, couldn't get it across customs." Sally nodded. "Don't you do drugs?" Kat asked the older girl. She shook her head.
"My parents are druggies and they beat me pretty bad when they're stoned so I vowed never to do any drugs."
"Fair enough. My dad gets stoned occasionally but he's not to bad only on weed. If it's anything more he goes slightly psycho but nothing mom can't sort."
"How does she do that?" Randy suddenly piped up. Kat laughed.
"You don't wanna know. All I hear are the screams and moans."
"Not nice." Sally said. Kat shook her head.
"My bedrooms right next to theirs as well." Sally laughed
"Sucker!" She yelled. Kat laughed.
Suddenly she spotted someone she knew only too well staring at her from across the park.
"Fuck," she whispered.
"What?" Steven asked suddenly.
"N... Nothing, I erm, Pete can I talk to you?" he nodded and followed her a little way away. He turned to her.
"What's up?" he asked. She pointed to the guy standing on the other side of the small park. He was clearly visible and still staring.
"Is that... " she nodded. "Go home. I'll take care of it. See you tomorrow. You want me or Steven to walk you home?" She nodded. They walked back over to the group. "Steve, we're gonna walk Kat home OK?" Steven nodded looking utterly confused. "Bye guys," she said and the three of them walked in the direction of Kat's hotel.
But Kat lost Steven and Pete in the crowds. She noticed they weren't behind her. The fear built up inside her as she noticed the guy walking behind her, his eye was fixed on her. She let out a dry sod of terror and began to walk quicker. The crowds began to thin and the sun disappeared. A breeze chilled her as she walked. She was five minutes from the hotel, when someone grabbed her and yanked her into an alleyway. She screamed but a hand found its way over her mouth. The person slammed her against the wall of a house. She began to sob as her head hit the hard bricks. She looked at the man. He grinned at her, slowly unbuckling her belt.
"Tell no one," the man whispered hoarsely into her ear when he had finished, "and meet me hear again, this time tomorrow." She sobbed as he threw her onto the pavement in front of the alleyway. "If anyone finds out, I will kill you." He walked away. Kat lay sobbing on the pavement for what seemed like ages. Suddenly her mobile rang. She pulled it out. DAD, said the caller ID, she flipped it open.
"Hello?"
"Kat? Fuck, where are you? What's happened, why are crying?" Kat didn't answer she just sobbed. "I'm gonna come pick you up, where are you?"
"I don't know," she sobbed harder. "I'll walk home, I'm fine, I'll be there soon." She put the phone down and began to walk to the hotel.
She opened the door to her suite and collapsed into her fathers arms, crying. He didn't say anything he just held her as Mike, Tre, and Chloe looked on helpless. When she had calmed down Billie looked at her.
"What happened?" he asked. She shook her head. "Why won't you tell me?"
"I can't, don't dad, please," she sobbed running into the bathroom. She locked the door. Grabbing a razor blade she quickly slid it across her arm, gasping at the pain. Billie was banging on the door.
"C' mon Kat, please don't do that. Please, you gave up, don't throw that away, please, for Christ's sake talk to me. No one can hurt you." She sobbed as the blood oozed slowly from the cut.
She was stupid, she hated herself for what she had just done. The blade cut into her skin again. What kind of fucking slag was she? She got beaten terribly and three months later she was dating someone again, who was nineteen, slut. Blooded poured from a third cut. Again and again she drew the blade quickly across her skin until she began to feel weak, she needed help, her head spun. She unlocked the door and stumbled out of the bathroom. She took two steps, she saw Billie rushing up to her when at the red fountain flowing from her cuts, Mike grabbing the phone, Chloe screaming, Tre with Billie. She collapsed, dropping the razor blade and she fell to the floor, unconscious.
