Love Is Faith, chapter 1
Im so lost...so alone in this world...I wish I could just die. I have been holding on to him since the day I met him...Dave. We met when I was 19 and he was 22. I suffered badly with him. He had no money or a job, he would steal. He would shoot people if he didn't get what he wanted. He was born spoiled. And he gets drunk every single day. He was also a drug dealer, and forced me to live with him.. He's such a terrible guy.
When I was pregnant with his baby, I was in the hospital trying to give birth, and I was bleeding everywere. I thought my daughter would never servive. I was trying to call him over an over again to tell him that the baby wasn't doing good, he never picked up the phone and my baby died that second that my cell died off. I cried for 3 years.
He fucks everything up for me. He never gives a shit about my feelings. Everything I do always seem's to affect his life. I write poems about pain, love, and death since im half Emo, and he throws all of them away in the fire because he doesn't want his friends to find them, since his fucking friends always go into my stuff while im gone and Dave doesn't even care.
I always read the Bible and he says it's a waste of time. I want to go to church on sunday, but he doesn't let me have the car unless he want's me to get something for him, so I always walked to church. He rapes me 2 times on a Friday night and 3 times on Saturday nights. And one time each day. I try to do my best for him because in my heart I still loved him...but he never seems to fell it...
Well that was then, this is now. But he's still is an asshole.
I was walking on the sidewalk when the sky slightly rained.I kept on walking and walking thinking of what the hell what im supossed to do about Dave. I can't fight him...he would kill me before I even had a chance to hit him. While I was walking, I looked to my right...and I saw a guy leaning on a brick wall. He had ripped holes in his pants and a big, white bandage over his arm. His black hair had a stream of red in it and was covering the left side of his face and he looked like he was crying, his eyes were pink and puffy. He looked so sad.
I went over to him. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked him while looking into his brown eyes. He looked up at me, he looked so cold...so sad...so Emotional.
"Umm...yeah I'm fine, don't mine me, I'm just a waste of time. I don't bring happiness to anyone." He replied while looking back down on the ground and backing up against the wall while shivering. I just looked at him and how sad he was. I felt so bad even though I had some stuff going on with me right now.
I kneeled down to him and looked at him. "You're not a waste of time, obviously something is wrong, you have a problem. And thats okay because I have a problem too and I'm very depressed my self." I said to him. I stood up. "Do you want to take a walk with me?" I asked him. I was so shook up because of Dave that I needed someone to talk to.
He thought for a moment. "Sure that would be nice." He smiled a little bit.
I gave him my hand and helped him up from ground...but when he got up...I saw wings, giant bat wings sprout from his back slowly.
My eyes went wide with shock. I saw him trying to cover them up quickly but he couldn't. He just broke down in tears with shame. "Oh my god, why the hell does this have to happen to me!" He cried as his head was in his hands.
I walked over to him. "Don't be sad, it's ok. I don't care if you have wings." I soothed him.
He looked at me with sadness. "Uhh...I'm really a demon to tell you the truth..." His tears continued to fall from his eyes.
"It's okay, it's not like it's terrible thing being a demon...is it?" I questioned him.
"Oh yeah, it's really cool being hated and being terrifed of, not even the police would go near me!" He said to me. "You know...sometimes I wish I was dead, or never born." He said while looking down.
"Yeah, I think that sometimes too."
We just stood there for about 2 minutes until I said something."You...wanna go to Starbucks with me and get some coffee?" I asked him.
"Really? You want me to walk with you?" He questioned me.
"Of course. You're having a bad time and I'm having a bad time. I want you to come with me." I said smiling at him. He smiled back at me. We went on and walked to Starbucks.
So we walked into Starbucks. Damn, ther was alot of Emo kids there...I guess they love coffee. So anyways, we walked to the counter and got two large caramel frappaccino's. We went and sat down at a Two-Chair table. "Please tell me, what's your name?" I asked him while taking a sip of my frappaccino.
"Frank, Frank Iero." He replied to me.
"Your last name is so cool." I complimented.
He chuckled. "Thanks. Oh, I forgot to ask you, what is your name?" He asked me.
"I'm Carol Dane" I replied to him. I saw him looking at my arm for some reason.
"I really like the color of you skin." He said as he looked at my shiney tan skin.
"Thanks Frank, I like the color of your skin too." I picked up my drink and took a few sips and then put it down. "So, whats it like to be a demon? Is it hard?" I asked him.
"Well I always have to defend my self, and look out for dark forces and shit." He said sipping on his drink. "Sometimes it could be cool, you know, flying around in the sky and stuff." He said simply.
"Why were you crying earler? Did something happen?" I asked him kind of concerned.
"Oh, I was just upset because...well...my sister is in the hospital and she's not doing to good. Me and my sister live together in a house. This whole incident happened an hour ago. I left for a couple of minutes to get a couple of cigarettes. When I first walked throguh the door, she was covered in cuts and slits, and all her clothes were off. I figured someone raped her, she was unconsious and so I had to rush her to the hospital my self....I love my baby sister so much, she's like a precious daughter to me. So I was sitting the side walk because they said I can't see her. And I wanted to take a walk outside." He explained to me with Emotional feelings.
"Oh my God, im so sorry." I said to him softly. "When can you see her?" I asked.
"They said I can see her tomorrow...hey..will you come with me maybe?" He asked me.
"Of course Frank, i'll go with you." I Said sweetly.
"Thank you so much, your such an awesome person." He's so nice.
"You're such a sweet guy Frank, I wish my dick head of a boy friend was more like you." I sighed. Frank smirked.
"Whats wrong with him?" He asked me taking another sip of his drink.
"Ugh! Whats not wrong with him? He ruinds my life! He's never home when I'm home, he always kicks me because I have to sleep in the same bed with him, he raped me once, he rips my beautiful poems, he's always drunk, and he has no job!" I was so pissed now that I have even thought about him. Some people started to stare at me. Me and Frank didn't give a crap.
"Wow, sounds like a real asshole." Frank said.
"You have no idea, he use to be a red neck too.'' I took a huge sip of my drink.
And so we talked a little bit about our shitty lives and then we walked out of Starbucks. We walked a little bit down the street.
"Hey, do you want to take a fly with me?" He asked me.
"What? Fly? In the sky? You mean your wings right?" I questioned. He nodded. "Oh Frank...I don't know." I was a little nervouse.
"Come on, I'll keep you safe." He said grabbing my hand.
We found a tall building in a very dark alley, it was VERY tall, It was about 60 or 50 feet high. Me and frank climbed the ladder and reached the top of the building. Frank looked up at the moon. Then his head turned towards me. "You ready?" He said looking at me and smiled a bit. I looked back at him. God...he's so cute. his eyes glistened from the moon and lit up his face.
"Umm...ok, I'll do it." I said bravely. God, I hope he doesn't drop me by accident.
"Great'' He walked behind me. I wasn't sure what he was doing at first. I felt his two arms gently wrap around my tummy. He tightend his arms so I wouldn't fall. "I won't let you go." He whispered into my ear. I smiled at his voice and his soft strong arms wrapped around me. He sprouted his wings and flew into the air. It was so awesome, I could feel the cool air in my face and in my hair, but best of all I could fell Frank holding me close to him.
We flew really high into the air, we could even so some airplanes close. We flew all around in circles and in loops and upside down. It was so fun. And he also showed me the bright moon. The moon shined on us. I was so beautiful. Frank showed me the greatest night of my entire life.
After an hour of flying we landed on the ground. "Thanks for a great night Frank, I had a great time with you." I gave him a big hug and it felt like hugging heaven. I wanted to kiss him, but it was too soon, our friendship has to grow into a relationship. I let go of him and looked into his eyes, we smiled at eachother. "I have to get home." I said as my smile faded and so did Frank's.
"I don't want you to leave, your so much fun!" He exclaimed.
I laughed a little bit. "Frank, if I don't get home soon, my boyfriend will kill me." I said with a little fear in my voice.
"So what? FUCK HIM! He has sticks in his ass! He RAPED you! Remember?" He raised his eyebrows.
I thought for a momment. "You know what Frank? You right! Forget him!" I agreed with him.
"Lets go to my house. You can stay there with me for a while." He suggested.
"Really? I can come to your house? And spend the night there?" I asked curiously.
"Hell to the yeah!" Frank yelled. He's so funny. "Come on, lets go." He grabbed my hand and we started walking.
I think im falling in love with him.
When I was pregnant with his baby, I was in the hospital trying to give birth, and I was bleeding everywere. I thought my daughter would never servive. I was trying to call him over an over again to tell him that the baby wasn't doing good, he never picked up the phone and my baby died that second that my cell died off. I cried for 3 years.
He fucks everything up for me. He never gives a shit about my feelings. Everything I do always seem's to affect his life. I write poems about pain, love, and death since im half Emo, and he throws all of them away in the fire because he doesn't want his friends to find them, since his fucking friends always go into my stuff while im gone and Dave doesn't even care.
I always read the Bible and he says it's a waste of time. I want to go to church on sunday, but he doesn't let me have the car unless he want's me to get something for him, so I always walked to church. He rapes me 2 times on a Friday night and 3 times on Saturday nights. And one time each day. I try to do my best for him because in my heart I still loved him...but he never seems to fell it...
Well that was then, this is now. But he's still is an asshole.
I was walking on the sidewalk when the sky slightly rained.I kept on walking and walking thinking of what the hell what im supossed to do about Dave. I can't fight him...he would kill me before I even had a chance to hit him. While I was walking, I looked to my right...and I saw a guy leaning on a brick wall. He had ripped holes in his pants and a big, white bandage over his arm. His black hair had a stream of red in it and was covering the left side of his face and he looked like he was crying, his eyes were pink and puffy. He looked so sad.
I went over to him. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked him while looking into his brown eyes. He looked up at me, he looked so cold...so sad...so Emotional.
"Umm...yeah I'm fine, don't mine me, I'm just a waste of time. I don't bring happiness to anyone." He replied while looking back down on the ground and backing up against the wall while shivering. I just looked at him and how sad he was. I felt so bad even though I had some stuff going on with me right now.
I kneeled down to him and looked at him. "You're not a waste of time, obviously something is wrong, you have a problem. And thats okay because I have a problem too and I'm very depressed my self." I said to him. I stood up. "Do you want to take a walk with me?" I asked him. I was so shook up because of Dave that I needed someone to talk to.
He thought for a moment. "Sure that would be nice." He smiled a little bit.
I gave him my hand and helped him up from ground...but when he got up...I saw wings, giant bat wings sprout from his back slowly.
My eyes went wide with shock. I saw him trying to cover them up quickly but he couldn't. He just broke down in tears with shame. "Oh my god, why the hell does this have to happen to me!" He cried as his head was in his hands.
I walked over to him. "Don't be sad, it's ok. I don't care if you have wings." I soothed him.
He looked at me with sadness. "Uhh...I'm really a demon to tell you the truth..." His tears continued to fall from his eyes.
"It's okay, it's not like it's terrible thing being a demon...is it?" I questioned him.
"Oh yeah, it's really cool being hated and being terrifed of, not even the police would go near me!" He said to me. "You know...sometimes I wish I was dead, or never born." He said while looking down.
"Yeah, I think that sometimes too."
We just stood there for about 2 minutes until I said something."You...wanna go to Starbucks with me and get some coffee?" I asked him.
"Really? You want me to walk with you?" He questioned me.
"Of course. You're having a bad time and I'm having a bad time. I want you to come with me." I said smiling at him. He smiled back at me. We went on and walked to Starbucks.
So we walked into Starbucks. Damn, ther was alot of Emo kids there...I guess they love coffee. So anyways, we walked to the counter and got two large caramel frappaccino's. We went and sat down at a Two-Chair table. "Please tell me, what's your name?" I asked him while taking a sip of my frappaccino.
"Frank, Frank Iero." He replied to me.
"Your last name is so cool." I complimented.
He chuckled. "Thanks. Oh, I forgot to ask you, what is your name?" He asked me.
"I'm Carol Dane" I replied to him. I saw him looking at my arm for some reason.
"I really like the color of you skin." He said as he looked at my shiney tan skin.
"Thanks Frank, I like the color of your skin too." I picked up my drink and took a few sips and then put it down. "So, whats it like to be a demon? Is it hard?" I asked him.
"Well I always have to defend my self, and look out for dark forces and shit." He said sipping on his drink. "Sometimes it could be cool, you know, flying around in the sky and stuff." He said simply.
"Why were you crying earler? Did something happen?" I asked him kind of concerned.
"Oh, I was just upset because...well...my sister is in the hospital and she's not doing to good. Me and my sister live together in a house. This whole incident happened an hour ago. I left for a couple of minutes to get a couple of cigarettes. When I first walked throguh the door, she was covered in cuts and slits, and all her clothes were off. I figured someone raped her, she was unconsious and so I had to rush her to the hospital my self....I love my baby sister so much, she's like a precious daughter to me. So I was sitting the side walk because they said I can't see her. And I wanted to take a walk outside." He explained to me with Emotional feelings.
"Oh my God, im so sorry." I said to him softly. "When can you see her?" I asked.
"They said I can see her tomorrow...hey..will you come with me maybe?" He asked me.
"Of course Frank, i'll go with you." I Said sweetly.
"Thank you so much, your such an awesome person." He's so nice.
"You're such a sweet guy Frank, I wish my dick head of a boy friend was more like you." I sighed. Frank smirked.
"Whats wrong with him?" He asked me taking another sip of his drink.
"Ugh! Whats not wrong with him? He ruinds my life! He's never home when I'm home, he always kicks me because I have to sleep in the same bed with him, he raped me once, he rips my beautiful poems, he's always drunk, and he has no job!" I was so pissed now that I have even thought about him. Some people started to stare at me. Me and Frank didn't give a crap.
"Wow, sounds like a real asshole." Frank said.
"You have no idea, he use to be a red neck too.'' I took a huge sip of my drink.
And so we talked a little bit about our shitty lives and then we walked out of Starbucks. We walked a little bit down the street.
"Hey, do you want to take a fly with me?" He asked me.
"What? Fly? In the sky? You mean your wings right?" I questioned. He nodded. "Oh Frank...I don't know." I was a little nervouse.
"Come on, I'll keep you safe." He said grabbing my hand.
We found a tall building in a very dark alley, it was VERY tall, It was about 60 or 50 feet high. Me and frank climbed the ladder and reached the top of the building. Frank looked up at the moon. Then his head turned towards me. "You ready?" He said looking at me and smiled a bit. I looked back at him. God...he's so cute. his eyes glistened from the moon and lit up his face.
"Umm...ok, I'll do it." I said bravely. God, I hope he doesn't drop me by accident.
"Great'' He walked behind me. I wasn't sure what he was doing at first. I felt his two arms gently wrap around my tummy. He tightend his arms so I wouldn't fall. "I won't let you go." He whispered into my ear. I smiled at his voice and his soft strong arms wrapped around me. He sprouted his wings and flew into the air. It was so awesome, I could feel the cool air in my face and in my hair, but best of all I could fell Frank holding me close to him.
We flew really high into the air, we could even so some airplanes close. We flew all around in circles and in loops and upside down. It was so fun. And he also showed me the bright moon. The moon shined on us. I was so beautiful. Frank showed me the greatest night of my entire life.
After an hour of flying we landed on the ground. "Thanks for a great night Frank, I had a great time with you." I gave him a big hug and it felt like hugging heaven. I wanted to kiss him, but it was too soon, our friendship has to grow into a relationship. I let go of him and looked into his eyes, we smiled at eachother. "I have to get home." I said as my smile faded and so did Frank's.
"I don't want you to leave, your so much fun!" He exclaimed.
I laughed a little bit. "Frank, if I don't get home soon, my boyfriend will kill me." I said with a little fear in my voice.
"So what? FUCK HIM! He has sticks in his ass! He RAPED you! Remember?" He raised his eyebrows.
I thought for a momment. "You know what Frank? You right! Forget him!" I agreed with him.
"Lets go to my house. You can stay there with me for a while." He suggested.
"Really? I can come to your house? And spend the night there?" I asked curiously.
"Hell to the yeah!" Frank yelled. He's so funny. "Come on, lets go." He grabbed my hand and we started walking.
I think im falling in love with him.
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