Whatsername. (NOT about American Idiot in any way), chapter 1
Dear Auntie Georgia,
Hi!! How are you? I hope you're doing good. I'm kind of sad at the moment. I've been thinking a lot about Whatsername lately. Whatsername is what I call Cathy now, because that song is the perfect description of our relationship now. Dad's too, but mine a lot. It was interesting, because I actually did think I ran into her at the store where she lived the other day! I almost cried her name and ran over and hugged her....but it turned out to be some other woman who looked like her. It was a disappointment, but I'm glad I didn't see her. I would've cried.
I wonder still why she never married Don, or Whatshisface. She would have had another little girl who was my age. It's sad, because I thought she really loved me. But she was willing to cheat on Dad for Whatshisface, and me with...that little girl. I seriously thought that. That's why I always said I loved her. But I was wrong thinking that. She never loved me. She couldn't have. Nobody I know could just do that. But she did, and I knew her. At least I thought I did. But I was wrong.
Whatsername would always take us hiking, I remember. She would wear a sportsbra but no top, and thrust out her arms and cry "Vitamin D!" I don't know why I loved that, but I did. She would show us all her secret places she had found while hiking. We even peed behind a bush together once!!! It makes me sad to think about it now, but I remember we laughed and laughed that day. That day we brought Katie with us and let the dogs off the leashes, and a park ranger came and yelled at us. It was so funny, he was really angry at us. But we laughed at that too. Even Dad laughed along with her, and he would kiss her until they both laughed together.
The other day I was going through some old stuff and found a half-burned photograph of her. I had tried to burn it the day that I found out she had some other little girl that she took hiking. But when the flames began to reach her face, I dropped it into some water, because I wanted to preserve her face forever. I didn't want to forget what she looked like. Y'know, I hated that other little girl everyday that I didn't spend with Whatsername. I always thought that she was hanging out with her. Ha! Well, I don't care about THAT anymore.
Whatsername used to make these nasty things that she called Goobers. They actually turned out to be boiled peanuts. EEEEWWW! They were like chewing on leather and tasted like dirt! And she made nasty black-eyed peas that Dad made me eat to make her happy. But I was willing to do anything to make her happy, so I ate Goobers and peas until I almost threw up.
Whatsername had a bird named Sunny. He was small and orange and bit me a lot. Don't tell Emerald, but Sunny's the reason why I don't like her birds. I hated Sunny, but I would sit and talk to him a lot and feed him Sunflower seeds through the cage bars. And Whatsername would come and call "Sunny Sonflower!!!" and that bird would go nuts and screech and flap its wings. Maybe he thought Whatsername had an annoying voice! I think she does now, but then, I thought it was beautiful.
Whatsername had red hair. She dyed it various shades and got various haircuts and styles, but mostly I remember the redness of it. Nowadays she has a mullet! LOSER!!!! She used to wear lots of makeup too. She doesn't wear as much anymore, but she would always put on bright red lipstick. Don't tell Emerald this either, but that's why I don't like red lipstick! She had a little tool which she used to curl her eyelashes. And she liked things that smelled like Lavender. Dad called her Lady Lavender because of that. And her house smelled like it too. She didn't smoke like Dad. And her stupid dog did too! And when she got Dusty, he smelled like it too. That's why I don't like Lavender very much anymore.
Whatsername had a lot of trouble near the end. She was meaner and fought with Dad more. Maybe because of Katie. Maybe because of Whatshisface and his brat daughter. Or maybe it was because she wanted to get married and Dad was too scared and always said no. But that's not the real reason why they never got married. It was because of me. Dad always would ask me if I would be happy if he married Whatsername, and I always said no. Even though I loved her.......so pretty much it's my fault that all that crap happened.
Oh well. Maybe Whatsername is happy now. I hope she is, but I don't want her ever, EVER coming back. I think she's tried to a couple of times, but dad wouldn't let her. I'm glad he wouldn't.
I hope she is happy. I really do. I DO miss her. I try to forget her, but every time I see red lipstick or lavender or somebody with red hair or peanuts, I think about her. She was a big part of my life for seven years. I just hope she misses me too.
Love,
Georgia
Hi!! How are you? I hope you're doing good. I'm kind of sad at the moment. I've been thinking a lot about Whatsername lately. Whatsername is what I call Cathy now, because that song is the perfect description of our relationship now. Dad's too, but mine a lot. It was interesting, because I actually did think I ran into her at the store where she lived the other day! I almost cried her name and ran over and hugged her....but it turned out to be some other woman who looked like her. It was a disappointment, but I'm glad I didn't see her. I would've cried.
I wonder still why she never married Don, or Whatshisface. She would have had another little girl who was my age. It's sad, because I thought she really loved me. But she was willing to cheat on Dad for Whatshisface, and me with...that little girl. I seriously thought that. That's why I always said I loved her. But I was wrong thinking that. She never loved me. She couldn't have. Nobody I know could just do that. But she did, and I knew her. At least I thought I did. But I was wrong.
Whatsername would always take us hiking, I remember. She would wear a sportsbra but no top, and thrust out her arms and cry "Vitamin D!" I don't know why I loved that, but I did. She would show us all her secret places she had found while hiking. We even peed behind a bush together once!!! It makes me sad to think about it now, but I remember we laughed and laughed that day. That day we brought Katie with us and let the dogs off the leashes, and a park ranger came and yelled at us. It was so funny, he was really angry at us. But we laughed at that too. Even Dad laughed along with her, and he would kiss her until they both laughed together.
The other day I was going through some old stuff and found a half-burned photograph of her. I had tried to burn it the day that I found out she had some other little girl that she took hiking. But when the flames began to reach her face, I dropped it into some water, because I wanted to preserve her face forever. I didn't want to forget what she looked like. Y'know, I hated that other little girl everyday that I didn't spend with Whatsername. I always thought that she was hanging out with her. Ha! Well, I don't care about THAT anymore.
Whatsername used to make these nasty things that she called Goobers. They actually turned out to be boiled peanuts. EEEEWWW! They were like chewing on leather and tasted like dirt! And she made nasty black-eyed peas that Dad made me eat to make her happy. But I was willing to do anything to make her happy, so I ate Goobers and peas until I almost threw up.
Whatsername had a bird named Sunny. He was small and orange and bit me a lot. Don't tell Emerald, but Sunny's the reason why I don't like her birds. I hated Sunny, but I would sit and talk to him a lot and feed him Sunflower seeds through the cage bars. And Whatsername would come and call "Sunny Sonflower!!!" and that bird would go nuts and screech and flap its wings. Maybe he thought Whatsername had an annoying voice! I think she does now, but then, I thought it was beautiful.
Whatsername had red hair. She dyed it various shades and got various haircuts and styles, but mostly I remember the redness of it. Nowadays she has a mullet! LOSER!!!! She used to wear lots of makeup too. She doesn't wear as much anymore, but she would always put on bright red lipstick. Don't tell Emerald this either, but that's why I don't like red lipstick! She had a little tool which she used to curl her eyelashes. And she liked things that smelled like Lavender. Dad called her Lady Lavender because of that. And her house smelled like it too. She didn't smoke like Dad. And her stupid dog did too! And when she got Dusty, he smelled like it too. That's why I don't like Lavender very much anymore.
Whatsername had a lot of trouble near the end. She was meaner and fought with Dad more. Maybe because of Katie. Maybe because of Whatshisface and his brat daughter. Or maybe it was because she wanted to get married and Dad was too scared and always said no. But that's not the real reason why they never got married. It was because of me. Dad always would ask me if I would be happy if he married Whatsername, and I always said no. Even though I loved her.......so pretty much it's my fault that all that crap happened.
Oh well. Maybe Whatsername is happy now. I hope she is, but I don't want her ever, EVER coming back. I think she's tried to a couple of times, but dad wouldn't let her. I'm glad he wouldn't.
I hope she is happy. I really do. I DO miss her. I try to forget her, but every time I see red lipstick or lavender or somebody with red hair or peanuts, I think about her. She was a big part of my life for seven years. I just hope she misses me too.
Love,
Georgia
