A Little More Than Life, chapter 1
*This is based on a true stroy. Not to me, my friend. And Green Day do come in to it. *
I was sitting alone. No change there. But don't go getting the wrong idea. I'm not one of those poor girls who slit their wrists and are rejected.
Oh, wait, yes I am.
Anyway. Sitting alone, on my bed. Trying to fight the temptation to cut again, because I had tried to promise myself I wouldn't. I don't know why I tried though. It's pointless.
I sighed lifted up my pillow. I sleep with a knife there. You probably think I'm wierd but you don't know the full story.
flashback
"Daddy?" I ran through to hid room, I had heard strange noises. I saw him lying on the floor. Maybe he had fallen asleep?
"Daddy?" I repeated," Daddy wake up!"
I walked over to him. He was all red! His shirt was all ripped, and he was cut all over.
"DADDY!" I screamed. "Daddy wake up!" But he didn't wake up.
So I keep a knife under my bed so I don't die the way he did. He told me to live my life as good as I could. I still speak to him, you know. I see him every night in my dreams. And he tells me it'll be ok. And I'm stupid enought to believe him? No. Because I'm not okay and I know it.
Sorry. I'm banging on about my problem life. My whole story isn't like this, don't worry. It gets better. In fact, it gets to the point I beleive in things again. But anyways...
I picked up the knife and got it over with. People often wonder why people like me do this. But they don't know. And they never will. So fuck them.
If you're wondering who I live with, I live in an orphanage. And it stinks. All the girls my age hate me, they all have this little group and I'm shoved out of it.
The next morning, I was laying on my bed when some one knocked on my door. Who? No one knocks on my door. Unless their playing some sad joke. I sighed and got up, and walked over to the door. I pulled it open.
Mrs Raymond. I'd better explain...
She's the "carer" here. Yeah, right. CARER. She doesn't give a shit about us here. All she does is sit and drink booze and smoke.
"Hello, Jana," She said rather bitterly.
"Mmm," I replied. I was more interested in the people she had with her. They were an old couple. I can't stick old people. Or, rather, they can't stick me. They always sniff down thier noses at me. The ladie was doing that right now, and the dude was eyeing my bright pink ra-ra skirt I wore with my striped socks. Bitch.
"These people have very kindly offered to take you out for the day, Jana. They are interested in a teenage girl."
I looked at them. Did I have a choice?
***
About three hours later I was sitting in a park with the couple. They were extremely boring, I'm sorry to say. They sat and talke to me- LECTURED me- about appropriate dressing! I was getting pretty sick of it, and when they mover on to my "birds nest" I just walked off.
It was getting dark by the time I was on the other side of town. I don't know why I was there. But I kept walking along in the darkness until I tripped and fell onto the road. They say you see bright lights before you die. I could. Or maybe it was just the headlights of the car speeding towards my fozen body-
Some one grabbed me round the waist and shoved me onto the pavement. I looked into the eyes of my saviour.
And fainted.
I was sitting alone. No change there. But don't go getting the wrong idea. I'm not one of those poor girls who slit their wrists and are rejected.
Oh, wait, yes I am.
Anyway. Sitting alone, on my bed. Trying to fight the temptation to cut again, because I had tried to promise myself I wouldn't. I don't know why I tried though. It's pointless.
I sighed lifted up my pillow. I sleep with a knife there. You probably think I'm wierd but you don't know the full story.
flashback
"Daddy?" I ran through to hid room, I had heard strange noises. I saw him lying on the floor. Maybe he had fallen asleep?
"Daddy?" I repeated," Daddy wake up!"
I walked over to him. He was all red! His shirt was all ripped, and he was cut all over.
"DADDY!" I screamed. "Daddy wake up!" But he didn't wake up.
So I keep a knife under my bed so I don't die the way he did. He told me to live my life as good as I could. I still speak to him, you know. I see him every night in my dreams. And he tells me it'll be ok. And I'm stupid enought to believe him? No. Because I'm not okay and I know it.
Sorry. I'm banging on about my problem life. My whole story isn't like this, don't worry. It gets better. In fact, it gets to the point I beleive in things again. But anyways...
I picked up the knife and got it over with. People often wonder why people like me do this. But they don't know. And they never will. So fuck them.
If you're wondering who I live with, I live in an orphanage. And it stinks. All the girls my age hate me, they all have this little group and I'm shoved out of it.
The next morning, I was laying on my bed when some one knocked on my door. Who? No one knocks on my door. Unless their playing some sad joke. I sighed and got up, and walked over to the door. I pulled it open.
Mrs Raymond. I'd better explain...
She's the "carer" here. Yeah, right. CARER. She doesn't give a shit about us here. All she does is sit and drink booze and smoke.
"Hello, Jana," She said rather bitterly.
"Mmm," I replied. I was more interested in the people she had with her. They were an old couple. I can't stick old people. Or, rather, they can't stick me. They always sniff down thier noses at me. The ladie was doing that right now, and the dude was eyeing my bright pink ra-ra skirt I wore with my striped socks. Bitch.
"These people have very kindly offered to take you out for the day, Jana. They are interested in a teenage girl."
I looked at them. Did I have a choice?
***
About three hours later I was sitting in a park with the couple. They were extremely boring, I'm sorry to say. They sat and talke to me- LECTURED me- about appropriate dressing! I was getting pretty sick of it, and when they mover on to my "birds nest" I just walked off.
It was getting dark by the time I was on the other side of town. I don't know why I was there. But I kept walking along in the darkness until I tripped and fell onto the road. They say you see bright lights before you die. I could. Or maybe it was just the headlights of the car speeding towards my fozen body-
Some one grabbed me round the waist and shoved me onto the pavement. I looked into the eyes of my saviour.
And fainted.
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