Mistakes Worth Making, chapter 5
A million things flash through my mind after he tells me this...the thought of him possibly losing his family and ruining his career bothered me the most. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders in the few seconds before he replied...he would be screwed if Adrienne ever found out and it would be because of me.
"We went out for dinner when I got home tonight and she said something about it...I just told her that I forgot to put it back on when I got out of the shower," he says making it seem like it was nothing to worry about.
"And she believed you?" I asked to make sure she isn't suspicious.
"Yes she did, I promise..." he says trying to reassure me. "It's like...," he stops to think. "Two in the morning there...what are you doing up so late?" he asks completely disregarding our previous conversation.
"Looking at porn on the internet, what else?" I say sarcastically feeling some relief. "I was really trying to get some work done...not happening, though."
"Sorry...I'm not bothering you, am I?" he asks.
"Nope, not at all...it's good to hear your voice," I say. "I wish you could have stayed here longer."
"Me too...and next time I will," he tells me. "I really hate lying to Adrienne, you know."
"Then don't lie to her...you shouldn't be sleeping with me if you don't want to hurt her," I say with a bit of sorrow in my voice. "Where did that come from anyway?"
"I don't know," he sighs.
"Tell me something..." I start. "Why the hell are you risking your twelve-year marriage on some stupid affair that probably won't last anyway?" I ask feeling agitated.
"Some things are worth risking...I don't know what it was about you, but I just couldn't bring myself to walk away," he finally says after about a minute of silence. "You caught my eye and that's really hard to do, and now...now I guess I'm just fucked because I can't stop thinking about you..."
"Oh," I say not knowing what else to. "That's a good enough answer for me then."
"Can I ask you something now?" he asks cautiously which makes me nervous about what he wants to know.
"I guess," I say. "But you might not get an answer..."
"Why were you so willing to let me in? I mean, you completely disregarded the fact that you are in a relationship..." he paused. "I kinda got the feeling that you were the type of person that would do the right thing no matter how much they don't want to...you seemed totally innocent to me."
"Yeah, well..." I stop and try to think of an answer. "I am actually that kind of girl, but you caught me at a time when I was sick to death of the unexciting lifestyle that I was caught up in. You were different," I laugh uneasily. "I want you to know that I have never cheated on anyone else..."
"I just...I decided after you kissed me that I wasn't going to take it any further than that," I say not really knowing where I was going with that. "I really didn't mean to, but I couldn't help myself...you took your time which I'm not at all used to and you were really sweet, and now I'm just starting to sound like an sappy love song," I laugh.
"Nah, you're interesting...and cute," he laughs. "I could actually talk to you all night, but someone thought it would be reasonable to schedule an interview with us at seven in the morning so I really need to go get some rest."
"Okay," I say before telling him goodbye and getting off the phone.
--
"You're acting so different now..." Taryn says as we stand in line at Starbucks to feed our addiction. "But in a good way, of course."
"Well don't get too used to it," I say as we walk down the street. "I'm sure he'll realize that he has made a big mistake and will return to Adrienne for good...so basically I'm preparing my heart to be shattered into a thousand pieces."
"I don't think he'll break your heart..." she mutters.
"Ha! How many married men have broken yours? If I'm not mistaken...all of them have," I laugh as we enter her apartment.
She is attempting to make me feel better and I'm glad I have someone that can do that, but we both know that it is totally unexpected of me to interfere with someone else's marriage. I am actually a little concerned that I am even considering staying involved with Billie now that I am over the initial shock of what we did.
When we get to Taryn's apartment, I sit on the couch and listen to my best friend rambling as she makes us breakfast. After five minutes of being there, my brother comes out of her bedroom and goes into the bathroom.
"Oh my god," I mumble to myself. "Did sex with Billie make me delusional or are you sleeping with my little brother?"
"What? No..." she says from the kitchen not sounding very convincing. "He lives right across the hall."
"Exactly...so why didn't he just..." I am interrupted by my brother coming in the living room.
"Good morning," Chad mumbles when he joins me on the couch a few minutes later. "Stop looking at me like that...I can do what I want," he mumbles after noticing I was still staring in his direction.
"I didn't say you couldn't, it's just...weird," I laugh.
I am completely astonished that my brother and best friend hooked up since they despised one another in high school and the fact that they saw each other almost every day because they lived right next to each other. I guess they had a lot of sexual tension to work out.
"Hey," Taryn whispers trying to get my attention after noticing that Chad has fallen back asleep on the floor. "Did you talk to Billie since he left yesterday?"
"Yes," I say with a big smile on my face. "He called me last night."
"And?" she eagerly asks. "Is he going to come see you again?"
"Yes," I tell her. "But I don't know when...hopefully soon because I miss him already."
--
A week later my mom invites me over for dinner. When the taxi pulls up in her driveway, I realize that there are a lot more people than I expected to be there. Most of my family is okay, but there are a few that want to pry into all of my business regardless of how uninteresting it may be.
"Hey mom," I say as I enter the house through the garage. "I didn't know you were inviting the whole fucking family..."
"Don't use that language...please," she says as she kisses me on the cheek. "Go say 'hi' to your grandparents."
I've only been here for twenty minutes, but already I would rather jump from a towering building to my certain death than stay here any longer...these people drive me crazy! I would gladly leave right now, but I at least have to stay for food before I bail. Finally, my mom comes outside to tell me that the food is ready.
Chad sits down across from me at the table...he has a weird smirk on his face that tells me he is up to something, but I try to ignore him. After we are finished eating, an awkward silence falls over the room...he finally speaks up to break the stillness, but his words don't delight me.
"So...Sam, who is this new guy you're seeing?" he asks and I nearly fall out of my chair from shock.
"What?" I say feeling embarrassed since everyone at the table knows I'm still dating Pete. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"What happened to Pete, honey?" my mom asks from the end of the table.
"Nothing," I mumble before kicking Chad in the shin.
"Well what's he talking about then?" she asks nosily. "Are you with someone else?"
"Yes...kinda," I sigh. "But it really doesn't matter because you wouldn't approve anyway...so can we just drop it?"
"Oh, come on..." my uncle who is clearly drunk says. "We just want to know a little about your fabulous little life in the city."
"Sweetie...it's your life and you can pick who you want to date," my mom assures me. "As long as you're happy..."
Yeah, right. I've heard that before.
"Well..." I start. "He lives in California and he is thirty-five. Is that enough?" I ask sarcastically.
"No," Chad glares at me from across the table.
"Fuck you," I mouth as I stand up and storm into the kitchen.
I cannot believe he brought up my relationship about Billie after I didn't say a word about him sleeping with Taryn...especially in front of the entire family. Right now, I want nothing more than to crawl in a hole and die because my family has always thought so highly of me and now I know that everyone in the other room thinks I'm a slut.
I walk towards the exit of the kitchen to get my jacket out of the living room, but I am stopped by my mom coming into the room followed by my intrusive brother.
"You had no fucking right to say anything about that..." I shout as I walk towards him. "You stupid fucking hypocrite."
"I'm the hypocrite here?" he questions. "I'm not the one telling my best friend that she shouldn't be sleeping with married guys...then turn around and do the exact same thing."
"What?" my mom asks me as she tries to distract us from our yelling.
"Yeah...the guy that she is with, he is fucking married and has two kids..." he blurts out.
"I realize that what I am doing is hypocritical...I don't need you to point that out to me," I say as calmly as possible since I wouldn't appreciate having an audience. "I was only trying to protect her because I was tired of her making bad decisions and watching her getting hurt...what I did was completely unintentional and none of your business."
"Well then maybe you shouldn't have told Taryn..." he says rudely.
"She is my best friend and I will tell her whatever I want, she was my friend before she was your fuck-buddy...and just so you know that is all you are to her," I say as I put my jacket on. "Oh, while we are on the subject, mom...why don't you ask him who he has been seeing because I guarantee you that you won't approve of his relationship either."
After doing enough damage for one family gathering, I slam the door behind me and hastily walk towards...nothing because a cab dropped me off an hour before. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket to call a taxi to pick me up.
I have three missed calls and a voice message from Billie because my phone was on silent, but I decide to call a cab first since I don't want to be here any longer than I have to. Twenty minutes later I am headed back into the city to my apartment when I remember to check my voicemail.
I am happy that he called because I really needed someone to talk to after the terrible time I had at my mom's house.
"Hey Sam...uh, I guess you don't have your cell with you or something," there is a short pause on the other end of the line. "I really need to talk to you...its really important so please call me as soon as you get this. I'll talk to you soon. Bye."
"We went out for dinner when I got home tonight and she said something about it...I just told her that I forgot to put it back on when I got out of the shower," he says making it seem like it was nothing to worry about.
"And she believed you?" I asked to make sure she isn't suspicious.
"Yes she did, I promise..." he says trying to reassure me. "It's like...," he stops to think. "Two in the morning there...what are you doing up so late?" he asks completely disregarding our previous conversation.
"Looking at porn on the internet, what else?" I say sarcastically feeling some relief. "I was really trying to get some work done...not happening, though."
"Sorry...I'm not bothering you, am I?" he asks.
"Nope, not at all...it's good to hear your voice," I say. "I wish you could have stayed here longer."
"Me too...and next time I will," he tells me. "I really hate lying to Adrienne, you know."
"Then don't lie to her...you shouldn't be sleeping with me if you don't want to hurt her," I say with a bit of sorrow in my voice. "Where did that come from anyway?"
"I don't know," he sighs.
"Tell me something..." I start. "Why the hell are you risking your twelve-year marriage on some stupid affair that probably won't last anyway?" I ask feeling agitated.
"Some things are worth risking...I don't know what it was about you, but I just couldn't bring myself to walk away," he finally says after about a minute of silence. "You caught my eye and that's really hard to do, and now...now I guess I'm just fucked because I can't stop thinking about you..."
"Oh," I say not knowing what else to. "That's a good enough answer for me then."
"Can I ask you something now?" he asks cautiously which makes me nervous about what he wants to know.
"I guess," I say. "But you might not get an answer..."
"Why were you so willing to let me in? I mean, you completely disregarded the fact that you are in a relationship..." he paused. "I kinda got the feeling that you were the type of person that would do the right thing no matter how much they don't want to...you seemed totally innocent to me."
"Yeah, well..." I stop and try to think of an answer. "I am actually that kind of girl, but you caught me at a time when I was sick to death of the unexciting lifestyle that I was caught up in. You were different," I laugh uneasily. "I want you to know that I have never cheated on anyone else..."
"I just...I decided after you kissed me that I wasn't going to take it any further than that," I say not really knowing where I was going with that. "I really didn't mean to, but I couldn't help myself...you took your time which I'm not at all used to and you were really sweet, and now I'm just starting to sound like an sappy love song," I laugh.
"Nah, you're interesting...and cute," he laughs. "I could actually talk to you all night, but someone thought it would be reasonable to schedule an interview with us at seven in the morning so I really need to go get some rest."
"Okay," I say before telling him goodbye and getting off the phone.
--
"You're acting so different now..." Taryn says as we stand in line at Starbucks to feed our addiction. "But in a good way, of course."
"Well don't get too used to it," I say as we walk down the street. "I'm sure he'll realize that he has made a big mistake and will return to Adrienne for good...so basically I'm preparing my heart to be shattered into a thousand pieces."
"I don't think he'll break your heart..." she mutters.
"Ha! How many married men have broken yours? If I'm not mistaken...all of them have," I laugh as we enter her apartment.
She is attempting to make me feel better and I'm glad I have someone that can do that, but we both know that it is totally unexpected of me to interfere with someone else's marriage. I am actually a little concerned that I am even considering staying involved with Billie now that I am over the initial shock of what we did.
When we get to Taryn's apartment, I sit on the couch and listen to my best friend rambling as she makes us breakfast. After five minutes of being there, my brother comes out of her bedroom and goes into the bathroom.
"Oh my god," I mumble to myself. "Did sex with Billie make me delusional or are you sleeping with my little brother?"
"What? No..." she says from the kitchen not sounding very convincing. "He lives right across the hall."
"Exactly...so why didn't he just..." I am interrupted by my brother coming in the living room.
"Good morning," Chad mumbles when he joins me on the couch a few minutes later. "Stop looking at me like that...I can do what I want," he mumbles after noticing I was still staring in his direction.
"I didn't say you couldn't, it's just...weird," I laugh.
I am completely astonished that my brother and best friend hooked up since they despised one another in high school and the fact that they saw each other almost every day because they lived right next to each other. I guess they had a lot of sexual tension to work out.
"Hey," Taryn whispers trying to get my attention after noticing that Chad has fallen back asleep on the floor. "Did you talk to Billie since he left yesterday?"
"Yes," I say with a big smile on my face. "He called me last night."
"And?" she eagerly asks. "Is he going to come see you again?"
"Yes," I tell her. "But I don't know when...hopefully soon because I miss him already."
--
A week later my mom invites me over for dinner. When the taxi pulls up in her driveway, I realize that there are a lot more people than I expected to be there. Most of my family is okay, but there are a few that want to pry into all of my business regardless of how uninteresting it may be.
"Hey mom," I say as I enter the house through the garage. "I didn't know you were inviting the whole fucking family..."
"Don't use that language...please," she says as she kisses me on the cheek. "Go say 'hi' to your grandparents."
I've only been here for twenty minutes, but already I would rather jump from a towering building to my certain death than stay here any longer...these people drive me crazy! I would gladly leave right now, but I at least have to stay for food before I bail. Finally, my mom comes outside to tell me that the food is ready.
Chad sits down across from me at the table...he has a weird smirk on his face that tells me he is up to something, but I try to ignore him. After we are finished eating, an awkward silence falls over the room...he finally speaks up to break the stillness, but his words don't delight me.
"So...Sam, who is this new guy you're seeing?" he asks and I nearly fall out of my chair from shock.
"What?" I say feeling embarrassed since everyone at the table knows I'm still dating Pete. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"What happened to Pete, honey?" my mom asks from the end of the table.
"Nothing," I mumble before kicking Chad in the shin.
"Well what's he talking about then?" she asks nosily. "Are you with someone else?"
"Yes...kinda," I sigh. "But it really doesn't matter because you wouldn't approve anyway...so can we just drop it?"
"Oh, come on..." my uncle who is clearly drunk says. "We just want to know a little about your fabulous little life in the city."
"Sweetie...it's your life and you can pick who you want to date," my mom assures me. "As long as you're happy..."
Yeah, right. I've heard that before.
"Well..." I start. "He lives in California and he is thirty-five. Is that enough?" I ask sarcastically.
"No," Chad glares at me from across the table.
"Fuck you," I mouth as I stand up and storm into the kitchen.
I cannot believe he brought up my relationship about Billie after I didn't say a word about him sleeping with Taryn...especially in front of the entire family. Right now, I want nothing more than to crawl in a hole and die because my family has always thought so highly of me and now I know that everyone in the other room thinks I'm a slut.
I walk towards the exit of the kitchen to get my jacket out of the living room, but I am stopped by my mom coming into the room followed by my intrusive brother.
"You had no fucking right to say anything about that..." I shout as I walk towards him. "You stupid fucking hypocrite."
"I'm the hypocrite here?" he questions. "I'm not the one telling my best friend that she shouldn't be sleeping with married guys...then turn around and do the exact same thing."
"What?" my mom asks me as she tries to distract us from our yelling.
"Yeah...the guy that she is with, he is fucking married and has two kids..." he blurts out.
"I realize that what I am doing is hypocritical...I don't need you to point that out to me," I say as calmly as possible since I wouldn't appreciate having an audience. "I was only trying to protect her because I was tired of her making bad decisions and watching her getting hurt...what I did was completely unintentional and none of your business."
"Well then maybe you shouldn't have told Taryn..." he says rudely.
"She is my best friend and I will tell her whatever I want, she was my friend before she was your fuck-buddy...and just so you know that is all you are to her," I say as I put my jacket on. "Oh, while we are on the subject, mom...why don't you ask him who he has been seeing because I guarantee you that you won't approve of his relationship either."
After doing enough damage for one family gathering, I slam the door behind me and hastily walk towards...nothing because a cab dropped me off an hour before. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket to call a taxi to pick me up.
I have three missed calls and a voice message from Billie because my phone was on silent, but I decide to call a cab first since I don't want to be here any longer than I have to. Twenty minutes later I am headed back into the city to my apartment when I remember to check my voicemail.
I am happy that he called because I really needed someone to talk to after the terrible time I had at my mom's house.
"Hey Sam...uh, I guess you don't have your cell with you or something," there is a short pause on the other end of the line. "I really need to talk to you...its really important so please call me as soon as you get this. I'll talk to you soon. Bye."
