Mistakes Worth Making, chapter 7
I may seem like an irrational bitch for not giving Billie Joe Armstrong the time of day or the benefit of a doubt. I know people make mistakes all the time and he is only human, but I can't bring myself to listen to his excuses or even think about beginning to forgive him.
I ignore Taryn's pleas and make the decision not to call him back. Sometimes people are forced to learn from their mistakes the hard way... And this was going to have to be one of his.
My mother, like most other parental figures, always told me that most of the time the hardest thing and the right thing are the same thing... And I, like most other normal teenagers, would just roll my eyes and tell her that she was wrong. I hate it when she's right.
Getting over him will probably be one of the hardest things I will ever have to do... I really liked him and for the first time in a very long time, I was actually happy. It was unfair to Adrienne and his kids, though, and eventually someone would get hurt.
I would hate to be the person that caused a family to fall apart... And Adrienne does seem like the forgiving type, but I don't ever want to find out if she is or not. The faster I get away from Billie and get over him, the sooner I don't have this huge mess hovering over me everywhere I go.
--
Over the next two weeks I skip out on going to work... I guess it's a good thing I don't actually have to be there for me to still have a job. Taryn comes over on a daily basis to try to coax me out of the apartment and Pete's head is too far up his boss' ass to notice that anything is different about me.
Much to my surprise, I finally give in to her desperate attempts to try to make me feel better... Mainly because I was starting to feel sorry for her. Besides, I figure if I agree to do something with her once, she'll leave me alone for the rest of the week.
I can tell by the way she is fretfully drumming her fingers on the table and nervously looking out the window, that she thinks I am going to be a no-show.
"You look like you just robbed the 7-11 and are waiting on the police to come," I laugh as I join her at the table.
"Well... Would you look at who decided to come out of hiding," she says when she notices me sitting down.
"Hello ladies," the waitress says. "What can I get the two of you today?"
"Coffee for both of us," Taryn says.
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
"Jesus Christ," I half whisper. "Make it to go, please."
"What's wrong with you?" Taryn asks as we get up to leave.
"I don't know which moron thought it would be a good idea for me to hear Green Day fifteen fucking times today," I exclaim. "But it's not helping me out any... That was the fourth song by them I have heard today and I don't even own a fucking radio."
"Actually you do," she says boldly. "But the hateful expression tells me that doesn't really matter right now," she smirks. "So... You haven't torched your Green Day collection yet, have you?"
I keep on walking as I attempt to block out her obnoxious comments... She unintentionally says the wrong things sometimes and I try to let her remarks go. I tell her that I'm going back home and that I don't want to be bothered... Surprisingly she agreed to leave me alone.
--
I turn of the shower around seven and hear someone making noise in the kitchen... This worries me a little because Pete doesn't normally get home until after midnight. I wrap a towel around myself before opening the bedroom door to see who it was.
I am relieved to find that it is only Pete... Although I am alarmed that he is home this early. There is also a bouquet of flowers sitting in the kitchen, which I find to be very odd.
Hmm... It must be our anniversary. Psh... Guys don't bring girls flowers unless they've done something wrong. He's cheating... That's definitely it.
"Hey," I say as I join him in the kitchen. "For me?" I ask motioning towards the pink flowers resting on the table.
"Hey," he says before giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Yes... For you."
Okay, who the fuck are you and what have you done with my narcissistic boyfriend?
I open the refrigerator to get myself something to drink when I notice a bottle of wine on the bottom shelf.
"What's this? Are you trying to seduce me?" I ask playfully.
"Maybe," he says quickly.
"Okay, you're acting weird," I tell him as I flip on the television.
He goes to take a shower and I am left to watch re-runs of Sex and the City. His actions are incredibly strange and then I start to question if he has talked to Taryn. It seems like something she would do... Talk him into being really sweet to me because I miss Billie.
Pete is certainly not Billie, though... And Taryn doesn't even want us to be together. After thinking about it for longer than I care to, I finally decide that she had nothing to do with his sudden change of behavior. I go back to my previous theory that he is either cheating on me or breaking up with me because it makes a whole lot more sense.
He comes back in the living room after his shower and joins me on the couch. He seems to be watching the show with me, but he kind of acts like he has something to say. Maybe Taryn did tell him to come home early and act all weird so I would concentrate on what he was doing instead of Billie... Because that's exactly what is happening.
"I'm really sorry that I've been working so much and that I'm never here," he starts saying. "I know you think that I am a heartless, self-centered person... But I don't mean to come off that way."
"You seem like you're drifting away and I don't blame you for that," he says. "I've disregarded it up until this point, but I can't anymore... I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here anymore. It just seems like you're not happy like you used to be..."
I wonder when he actually found the time to notice that I'm not happy anymore... I've only been miserable with the relationship for the last year or so. I should have left a long time ago, but it was never bad enough to make me want to leave.
I just got used to pretending that he wasn't even there... I have the career that I always dreamed of having, friends that can entertain me like there is no tomorrow, and the rest of my time is spent enjoying the peace and quiet. Other than the minor detail I call my boyfriend, my life is pretty good.
Unfortunately, a person's love life is definitely not a minor detail and I always pictured myself with someone who was... Nothing like what I've found myself with. Even though this may seem like it doesn't exist, I want someone who can take my breath away just by walking into the room. I want Billie... I need him.
The next morning, I wake up with a pair of unfamiliar arms around me... Regrettably, the last two weeks hadn't been a dream and they were not Billie's. I have to admit, though, it's nice that it actually feels like someone else lives here with me for once.
"Good morning," he says after seeing that I am awake.
"Morning," I say as I continue to stare at the wall and attempt to block out the sunlight that is flooding into the room.
"Can I ask you something?" he asks.
"Sure," I reply trying to wake up more.
"Will you marry me?" he asks blatantly.
Well I'm certainly awake now.
"What?" I ask as I abruptly sit up in the bed. "I mean... Sorry, I'm just a little... Uh... Taken aback," I pause trying to collect my thoughts and form an articulate sentence. "I don't know what to say..."
"Say you will," he says with anticipation.
"Well of course I will..." comes out before I grasp what I said.
There are some days when you wake up and realize that you should just go back to bed rather than facing the rest of the world... This is most likely going to be one of those days. You know things are going downhill when your boyfriend of three years, that you're not even really sure that you love, asks you to marry him out of nowhere and you actually agree to it.
I thought he was planning to break up with me, I anticipated that he was cheating on me... But this was completely out of the blue.
--
"You've been engaged for a week," Taryn says as she reapplied her lip gloss in front of my bathroom mirror. "How does it feel?"
"Meh... I've seen better days," I reply unenthusiastically.
"You really need to consider 'get over Billie' as your New Year's resolution," she laughs. "I'm serious."
"I know," I tell her. "I'm trying... Really, I am."
"Or maybe you should give Pete another change..." she suggests. "I'm sure it took a lot of guts for him to apologize... He is, after all, a guy."
"Did you have something to do with him acting sweet... And proposing to me?" I ask trying to lure some answers to some of my many, many questions out of her.
"No," she says. "I don't know what the hell is with him."
I decide to take her word for it and just assume that he has started doing drugs. Still, I didn't want to marry him no matter how nice he had been lately. There was no chemistry between us and their never would be... It made my head hurt just imagining spending the rest of my life with him.
"I don't want to marry him, Taryn..." I confess. "What am I supposed to do? I shouldn't have told him I would..."
"Then don't marry him," she starts to say before I cut her off.
"I want someone who I actually have chemistry with," I say.
"Like... Billie," she smirks.
"There is no comparison between the two..." I sigh. "Billie just has this certain charm about him that can't be overlooked..." I say. "Ah and those captivating green eyes."
"Uh... Sam," she says anxiously. "I did something really bad and I know I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't help myself... It was right there and I just couldn't pass up the opportunity."
"What did you do?" I ask nervously.
"I'm sorry... I just hope you'll forgive me," she says apologetically.
"Just tell me what you did," I say with a serious tone.
I ignore Taryn's pleas and make the decision not to call him back. Sometimes people are forced to learn from their mistakes the hard way... And this was going to have to be one of his.
My mother, like most other parental figures, always told me that most of the time the hardest thing and the right thing are the same thing... And I, like most other normal teenagers, would just roll my eyes and tell her that she was wrong. I hate it when she's right.
Getting over him will probably be one of the hardest things I will ever have to do... I really liked him and for the first time in a very long time, I was actually happy. It was unfair to Adrienne and his kids, though, and eventually someone would get hurt.
I would hate to be the person that caused a family to fall apart... And Adrienne does seem like the forgiving type, but I don't ever want to find out if she is or not. The faster I get away from Billie and get over him, the sooner I don't have this huge mess hovering over me everywhere I go.
--
Over the next two weeks I skip out on going to work... I guess it's a good thing I don't actually have to be there for me to still have a job. Taryn comes over on a daily basis to try to coax me out of the apartment and Pete's head is too far up his boss' ass to notice that anything is different about me.
Much to my surprise, I finally give in to her desperate attempts to try to make me feel better... Mainly because I was starting to feel sorry for her. Besides, I figure if I agree to do something with her once, she'll leave me alone for the rest of the week.
I can tell by the way she is fretfully drumming her fingers on the table and nervously looking out the window, that she thinks I am going to be a no-show.
"You look like you just robbed the 7-11 and are waiting on the police to come," I laugh as I join her at the table.
"Well... Would you look at who decided to come out of hiding," she says when she notices me sitting down.
"Hello ladies," the waitress says. "What can I get the two of you today?"
"Coffee for both of us," Taryn says.
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
"Jesus Christ," I half whisper. "Make it to go, please."
"What's wrong with you?" Taryn asks as we get up to leave.
"I don't know which moron thought it would be a good idea for me to hear Green Day fifteen fucking times today," I exclaim. "But it's not helping me out any... That was the fourth song by them I have heard today and I don't even own a fucking radio."
"Actually you do," she says boldly. "But the hateful expression tells me that doesn't really matter right now," she smirks. "So... You haven't torched your Green Day collection yet, have you?"
I keep on walking as I attempt to block out her obnoxious comments... She unintentionally says the wrong things sometimes and I try to let her remarks go. I tell her that I'm going back home and that I don't want to be bothered... Surprisingly she agreed to leave me alone.
--
I turn of the shower around seven and hear someone making noise in the kitchen... This worries me a little because Pete doesn't normally get home until after midnight. I wrap a towel around myself before opening the bedroom door to see who it was.
I am relieved to find that it is only Pete... Although I am alarmed that he is home this early. There is also a bouquet of flowers sitting in the kitchen, which I find to be very odd.
Hmm... It must be our anniversary. Psh... Guys don't bring girls flowers unless they've done something wrong. He's cheating... That's definitely it.
"Hey," I say as I join him in the kitchen. "For me?" I ask motioning towards the pink flowers resting on the table.
"Hey," he says before giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Yes... For you."
Okay, who the fuck are you and what have you done with my narcissistic boyfriend?
I open the refrigerator to get myself something to drink when I notice a bottle of wine on the bottom shelf.
"What's this? Are you trying to seduce me?" I ask playfully.
"Maybe," he says quickly.
"Okay, you're acting weird," I tell him as I flip on the television.
He goes to take a shower and I am left to watch re-runs of Sex and the City. His actions are incredibly strange and then I start to question if he has talked to Taryn. It seems like something she would do... Talk him into being really sweet to me because I miss Billie.
Pete is certainly not Billie, though... And Taryn doesn't even want us to be together. After thinking about it for longer than I care to, I finally decide that she had nothing to do with his sudden change of behavior. I go back to my previous theory that he is either cheating on me or breaking up with me because it makes a whole lot more sense.
He comes back in the living room after his shower and joins me on the couch. He seems to be watching the show with me, but he kind of acts like he has something to say. Maybe Taryn did tell him to come home early and act all weird so I would concentrate on what he was doing instead of Billie... Because that's exactly what is happening.
"I'm really sorry that I've been working so much and that I'm never here," he starts saying. "I know you think that I am a heartless, self-centered person... But I don't mean to come off that way."
"You seem like you're drifting away and I don't blame you for that," he says. "I've disregarded it up until this point, but I can't anymore... I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here anymore. It just seems like you're not happy like you used to be..."
I wonder when he actually found the time to notice that I'm not happy anymore... I've only been miserable with the relationship for the last year or so. I should have left a long time ago, but it was never bad enough to make me want to leave.
I just got used to pretending that he wasn't even there... I have the career that I always dreamed of having, friends that can entertain me like there is no tomorrow, and the rest of my time is spent enjoying the peace and quiet. Other than the minor detail I call my boyfriend, my life is pretty good.
Unfortunately, a person's love life is definitely not a minor detail and I always pictured myself with someone who was... Nothing like what I've found myself with. Even though this may seem like it doesn't exist, I want someone who can take my breath away just by walking into the room. I want Billie... I need him.
The next morning, I wake up with a pair of unfamiliar arms around me... Regrettably, the last two weeks hadn't been a dream and they were not Billie's. I have to admit, though, it's nice that it actually feels like someone else lives here with me for once.
"Good morning," he says after seeing that I am awake.
"Morning," I say as I continue to stare at the wall and attempt to block out the sunlight that is flooding into the room.
"Can I ask you something?" he asks.
"Sure," I reply trying to wake up more.
"Will you marry me?" he asks blatantly.
Well I'm certainly awake now.
"What?" I ask as I abruptly sit up in the bed. "I mean... Sorry, I'm just a little... Uh... Taken aback," I pause trying to collect my thoughts and form an articulate sentence. "I don't know what to say..."
"Say you will," he says with anticipation.
"Well of course I will..." comes out before I grasp what I said.
There are some days when you wake up and realize that you should just go back to bed rather than facing the rest of the world... This is most likely going to be one of those days. You know things are going downhill when your boyfriend of three years, that you're not even really sure that you love, asks you to marry him out of nowhere and you actually agree to it.
I thought he was planning to break up with me, I anticipated that he was cheating on me... But this was completely out of the blue.
--
"You've been engaged for a week," Taryn says as she reapplied her lip gloss in front of my bathroom mirror. "How does it feel?"
"Meh... I've seen better days," I reply unenthusiastically.
"You really need to consider 'get over Billie' as your New Year's resolution," she laughs. "I'm serious."
"I know," I tell her. "I'm trying... Really, I am."
"Or maybe you should give Pete another change..." she suggests. "I'm sure it took a lot of guts for him to apologize... He is, after all, a guy."
"Did you have something to do with him acting sweet... And proposing to me?" I ask trying to lure some answers to some of my many, many questions out of her.
"No," she says. "I don't know what the hell is with him."
I decide to take her word for it and just assume that he has started doing drugs. Still, I didn't want to marry him no matter how nice he had been lately. There was no chemistry between us and their never would be... It made my head hurt just imagining spending the rest of my life with him.
"I don't want to marry him, Taryn..." I confess. "What am I supposed to do? I shouldn't have told him I would..."
"Then don't marry him," she starts to say before I cut her off.
"I want someone who I actually have chemistry with," I say.
"Like... Billie," she smirks.
"There is no comparison between the two..." I sigh. "Billie just has this certain charm about him that can't be overlooked..." I say. "Ah and those captivating green eyes."
"Uh... Sam," she says anxiously. "I did something really bad and I know I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't help myself... It was right there and I just couldn't pass up the opportunity."
"What did you do?" I ask nervously.
"I'm sorry... I just hope you'll forgive me," she says apologetically.
"Just tell me what you did," I say with a serious tone.
