I'll Still Be There, chapter 1
Billie stood by the door with his friends, Mike and Tre. Delphine had known them all since they were ten but something had come over her in the last year that she could not explain. Suddenly, guys became more appealing and she realized this is what all the other women in the world older than her would call "hot". Also, now she understood why one would want to be with another person on this level - be it a boy or a girl - and why on earth one would want to touch them, and strangest of all, to do what is needed to make a baby that carries on the human race. Why would people have even the slightest idea to do that sort of disgusting thing - from what she could gather was done. Now something had changed, not fast, but over the last few years, yet they had also changed all at once, at least once she realized what was going on.
First it had been a "want", just a little one. Delphine wanted to hug him. She was Billie's friend for so long and she had had hugs from him. The hugs started in seventh year. He had bought her a pair of earrings as a present and later a stuffed animal bear - Valentino the Beanie Buddy - with a heart on its chest. She knew it must mean something. On Valentine's Day, he gave her a box of chocolates. She took it home and cried for half an hour in her bedroom because she was so happy at age 11. Had it been that long ago? Had she really liked him so much then?
In their eight-year, at one of the "dances", his friends tried to convince him to ask her to dance. He was nervous but Delphine wanted it too so she walked over, took his hand in hers and, two songs later, as the slow dances ended and it was difficult to find each other in the crowd, they danced. After a moment of awkwardness, looking at what others where doing around them, they had just hugged and found the rhythm of all the other hopeless dancers; rock back and forth while standing in one place. Of course, slow dances where not meant for dancing; they where meant for standing close.
At the end of eight year, at the graduation dance, Billie and Delphine had found each other on each slow dance and just rocked together. She could not remember the songs, none of them, but she remembered his chest, his warmth, how he rested his chin on her head because he was taller, and the feeling of literally walking on air she felt after they parted. It was one the best nights of her life. She was only 12.
After that year, both, well at least her, seemed to be too scared to call each other and never found time together for the next three years. It was not like being hit with a brick. It was being nervous and wondering until being really hit with a brick the first time he asks another girl to Coronation Dance, which Delphine knew was coming, and then being pounded with stones everyday. Some days a brick drops and other just a pebble, but always something. Not a day passes where she never thought about him, and it hurt like a bullet wound everyday, when there was time in the shower or driving in the car, for the mind to wonder and think about it. Still, every time she passed him in the hallway, he would look up and wave as they used to and the look in his face and the extra long glance make her wonder every time. Hints are dropped that keep the dream alive and the pain always there and never healing. Yet, she never ever regretted it. She never would. She realized she truly loved him about a year after they stopped being together.
She knew from the start of this that she would want to kick herself for just letting him drift away, for not showing him she had cared so much more than how she acted. At first it was that she wanted him to hug her, then to kiss her, then to hold her tight and kiss her and cuddle, and then to French her and feel her up. About the end of her tenth year, she decided sex was not going to wait until she was married; probably sooner then later, then closer to now, in a month if they where to get together, and lastly, now if he had asked. Nearing the end of their eleventh year she would have done it on the spot. She did realize something else though; both he and she are different now and what happened in the past was a separate place in the past. Whatever might happen know is new. This gave her hope. It gave her something she was missing, and now, as he stood in the corner, she saw what she really wanted, and he was gorgeous. Plus, she knew better now. She was almost seventeen and horny so there was a hell of a lot more to work with now.
She walked across the hallway as she normally would, and looked to say "Hi!" They all waved back, Billie looking on longer than Mike and Tre, and as Delphine began to pass them, she turned back around and called to Billie, "Oh, Billie!" she motioned for him to come. Of course, she had also planed this out two thousand times. He did not think twice and ran up to her. For a second she realized, this is going to be the first time she would speak to Billie alone in pretty much three years. "Umm, I was going to the beach after class today. Do you want to come?"
"Yeah, sure," he smiled.
Delphine was almost not sure what to do. He had just said yes. "Great, I'll ... ah, meet you out front."
"Ok, great. Just you and me?"
"Yeah." Delphine thought that might be a bad thing for a second, but he almost seemed happier as she said it.
"Great! See you."
"Yeah, bye!" she said walking away. She had gotten better at less awkward conversations with him - their first few had been silence over the telephone - and now it seemed like a dream.
She met Billie Joe in front of Shalark two hours later and they caught a ride to the beach. The driver talked most of the time and neither Billie nor Delphine could get a word in edgewise, but they giggled silently in the back while pretending to listen to the driver's stories about car troubles. Billie kept making faces and mimicking the driver, which made it increasingly difficult for Delphine to keep from bursting out laughing.
When they stepped onto the beach, the water was cool and the sand hot. "Let's go for a walk," Delphine suggested and they started off down along the waterline. Just a layer of water coated the sand under their feet. They talked about trivial things and then, at a silence, Delphine said, "We don't get to talk much anymore."
He gave a sort of sad and longing look, "Yeah. I know."
Delphine looked toward the ocean, "I miss that."
At that moment, Billie slipped his hand into hers. She had been dangling it beside her for so long, next to every boy she would want to be with through the past year of a roller coaster and finally someone had taken it. She looked back to him and smiled with love in her eyes. She wondered if he could see it.
Billie saw. He had loved her for years now, and there she was, in his hand. She squeezed his hand tighter, the way she used to hug him when they danced. It was so stupid, but that little squeeze meant so much. They stopped walking and Delphine faced him with her back to the ocean, the wind blowing her long brown and red stripped hair around her shoulders. Her little white dress ruffled. Her eyes seemed to match the color of the ocean.
"Delphine, you're... beautiful."
She smiled and gave a little laugh, a thankful laugh and curled her lips. "No."
"Yes," he nodded.
"Thank you. No one ever says that to me." Delphine looked up into his bright beautiful green-specked eyes, his black hair fluttering around his face.
"How could they?" he leaned closer, nervously, but sure; more sure than he had ever known before. He bent forward and softly kissed her lips. Delphine closed her eyes and kissed back with all her love. She touched his cheek with her warm hand and completely fell into the moment.
When Billie and Delphine finally parted, they did not feel awkward but at peace. "First kiss," she whispered.
He smiled again, and decided to get out what he had wanted to say all along, "Delphine, I love you."
She leaned closer and whispered into his ear, "I love you too, Billie." He wrapped his arms around her and hers around him, and he sweetly kissed her cheek. Delphine felt all the love rushing back to her. He was so beautiful and now he truly loved her. He was hers. No girl could be luckier. Billie was thinking the same.
When they finally arrived back at school, Billie walked Delphine to her dorm. Before she opened the door, she turned back around. "I had a great time."
"Me too," he smiled back, leaned forward and sweetly kissed her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Great." Delphine reached her hand behind her to open the door, not leaving Billie's stare. "Bye."
"Bye," he started to back away.
"I love you," she whispered backing inside.
"I love you too."
Delphine finally closed the door behind her after waving at Billie down the hall for the last five minutes straight. She could not help feeling filled with energy. She wanted to tell her friends right this minute, but surely they where asleep. She opened the door to the bedroom and found all the lights on inside, and then to her surprise, she found the room completely redecorated in Arabian Nights. The floor was covered in sand, the beds covered in beautiful cloth in rich shiny colours of blue, green and purple. The walls looked like a desert except for one side, where the door was, that pictured the moving ocean. All her friends rushed forward. Obviously they had been awake the whole time waiting for her even though it was eleven o'clock. "You guys! This is so pretty! What are you all doing?"
"We wanted you to tell us what happened as soon as you came home, and, well, we decided to do some decorating because we were bored," said Richelle.
Brites cut in, "So, how was it? What happened!?"
"Oh, it was wonderful."
"Did he kiss you?" she prodded.
"Um, actually, yes."
"What! Shit really?"
"Yeah, we walked out on the beach and he took my hand and... "
"What else?" Richelle said excitedly.
"He said he loves me," Delphine smiled pretending to be embarrassed but secretly proud.
"Delphine, that's wonderful!" Brites burst out.
Delphine laughed, "Ok, just shhh, about it because I don't think he would want it flying around school."
"My lips are seals."
"Me too... but it's going to be hard. It's so cute!"
"Thanks guys."
Delphine knew she would never be able to sleep now. She stared at the ceiling, and thought about him for what seemed like days before finally falling into a deep relaxing sleep.
Billie sat alone in his bedroom. He stared at the ceiling too, and the door, and the window and the walls. He fumbled around, held his breath, closed his eyes and dreamed about her but now the day seemed so long ago and she was already 2000 light years away. When the morning began to show, Billie sat outside to watch the sunrise. He looked as far out on the land as he could, as if he was trying to find her. In the distance he heard some laughter. 'Could it be her? I love her laugh. We laugh together. I have to see her today - soon.'
First it had been a "want", just a little one. Delphine wanted to hug him. She was Billie's friend for so long and she had had hugs from him. The hugs started in seventh year. He had bought her a pair of earrings as a present and later a stuffed animal bear - Valentino the Beanie Buddy - with a heart on its chest. She knew it must mean something. On Valentine's Day, he gave her a box of chocolates. She took it home and cried for half an hour in her bedroom because she was so happy at age 11. Had it been that long ago? Had she really liked him so much then?
In their eight-year, at one of the "dances", his friends tried to convince him to ask her to dance. He was nervous but Delphine wanted it too so she walked over, took his hand in hers and, two songs later, as the slow dances ended and it was difficult to find each other in the crowd, they danced. After a moment of awkwardness, looking at what others where doing around them, they had just hugged and found the rhythm of all the other hopeless dancers; rock back and forth while standing in one place. Of course, slow dances where not meant for dancing; they where meant for standing close.
At the end of eight year, at the graduation dance, Billie and Delphine had found each other on each slow dance and just rocked together. She could not remember the songs, none of them, but she remembered his chest, his warmth, how he rested his chin on her head because he was taller, and the feeling of literally walking on air she felt after they parted. It was one the best nights of her life. She was only 12.
After that year, both, well at least her, seemed to be too scared to call each other and never found time together for the next three years. It was not like being hit with a brick. It was being nervous and wondering until being really hit with a brick the first time he asks another girl to Coronation Dance, which Delphine knew was coming, and then being pounded with stones everyday. Some days a brick drops and other just a pebble, but always something. Not a day passes where she never thought about him, and it hurt like a bullet wound everyday, when there was time in the shower or driving in the car, for the mind to wonder and think about it. Still, every time she passed him in the hallway, he would look up and wave as they used to and the look in his face and the extra long glance make her wonder every time. Hints are dropped that keep the dream alive and the pain always there and never healing. Yet, she never ever regretted it. She never would. She realized she truly loved him about a year after they stopped being together.
She knew from the start of this that she would want to kick herself for just letting him drift away, for not showing him she had cared so much more than how she acted. At first it was that she wanted him to hug her, then to kiss her, then to hold her tight and kiss her and cuddle, and then to French her and feel her up. About the end of her tenth year, she decided sex was not going to wait until she was married; probably sooner then later, then closer to now, in a month if they where to get together, and lastly, now if he had asked. Nearing the end of their eleventh year she would have done it on the spot. She did realize something else though; both he and she are different now and what happened in the past was a separate place in the past. Whatever might happen know is new. This gave her hope. It gave her something she was missing, and now, as he stood in the corner, she saw what she really wanted, and he was gorgeous. Plus, she knew better now. She was almost seventeen and horny so there was a hell of a lot more to work with now.
She walked across the hallway as she normally would, and looked to say "Hi!" They all waved back, Billie looking on longer than Mike and Tre, and as Delphine began to pass them, she turned back around and called to Billie, "Oh, Billie!" she motioned for him to come. Of course, she had also planed this out two thousand times. He did not think twice and ran up to her. For a second she realized, this is going to be the first time she would speak to Billie alone in pretty much three years. "Umm, I was going to the beach after class today. Do you want to come?"
"Yeah, sure," he smiled.
Delphine was almost not sure what to do. He had just said yes. "Great, I'll ... ah, meet you out front."
"Ok, great. Just you and me?"
"Yeah." Delphine thought that might be a bad thing for a second, but he almost seemed happier as she said it.
"Great! See you."
"Yeah, bye!" she said walking away. She had gotten better at less awkward conversations with him - their first few had been silence over the telephone - and now it seemed like a dream.
She met Billie Joe in front of Shalark two hours later and they caught a ride to the beach. The driver talked most of the time and neither Billie nor Delphine could get a word in edgewise, but they giggled silently in the back while pretending to listen to the driver's stories about car troubles. Billie kept making faces and mimicking the driver, which made it increasingly difficult for Delphine to keep from bursting out laughing.
When they stepped onto the beach, the water was cool and the sand hot. "Let's go for a walk," Delphine suggested and they started off down along the waterline. Just a layer of water coated the sand under their feet. They talked about trivial things and then, at a silence, Delphine said, "We don't get to talk much anymore."
He gave a sort of sad and longing look, "Yeah. I know."
Delphine looked toward the ocean, "I miss that."
At that moment, Billie slipped his hand into hers. She had been dangling it beside her for so long, next to every boy she would want to be with through the past year of a roller coaster and finally someone had taken it. She looked back to him and smiled with love in her eyes. She wondered if he could see it.
Billie saw. He had loved her for years now, and there she was, in his hand. She squeezed his hand tighter, the way she used to hug him when they danced. It was so stupid, but that little squeeze meant so much. They stopped walking and Delphine faced him with her back to the ocean, the wind blowing her long brown and red stripped hair around her shoulders. Her little white dress ruffled. Her eyes seemed to match the color of the ocean.
"Delphine, you're... beautiful."
She smiled and gave a little laugh, a thankful laugh and curled her lips. "No."
"Yes," he nodded.
"Thank you. No one ever says that to me." Delphine looked up into his bright beautiful green-specked eyes, his black hair fluttering around his face.
"How could they?" he leaned closer, nervously, but sure; more sure than he had ever known before. He bent forward and softly kissed her lips. Delphine closed her eyes and kissed back with all her love. She touched his cheek with her warm hand and completely fell into the moment.
When Billie and Delphine finally parted, they did not feel awkward but at peace. "First kiss," she whispered.
He smiled again, and decided to get out what he had wanted to say all along, "Delphine, I love you."
She leaned closer and whispered into his ear, "I love you too, Billie." He wrapped his arms around her and hers around him, and he sweetly kissed her cheek. Delphine felt all the love rushing back to her. He was so beautiful and now he truly loved her. He was hers. No girl could be luckier. Billie was thinking the same.
When they finally arrived back at school, Billie walked Delphine to her dorm. Before she opened the door, she turned back around. "I had a great time."
"Me too," he smiled back, leaned forward and sweetly kissed her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Great." Delphine reached her hand behind her to open the door, not leaving Billie's stare. "Bye."
"Bye," he started to back away.
"I love you," she whispered backing inside.
"I love you too."
Delphine finally closed the door behind her after waving at Billie down the hall for the last five minutes straight. She could not help feeling filled with energy. She wanted to tell her friends right this minute, but surely they where asleep. She opened the door to the bedroom and found all the lights on inside, and then to her surprise, she found the room completely redecorated in Arabian Nights. The floor was covered in sand, the beds covered in beautiful cloth in rich shiny colours of blue, green and purple. The walls looked like a desert except for one side, where the door was, that pictured the moving ocean. All her friends rushed forward. Obviously they had been awake the whole time waiting for her even though it was eleven o'clock. "You guys! This is so pretty! What are you all doing?"
"We wanted you to tell us what happened as soon as you came home, and, well, we decided to do some decorating because we were bored," said Richelle.
Brites cut in, "So, how was it? What happened!?"
"Oh, it was wonderful."
"Did he kiss you?" she prodded.
"Um, actually, yes."
"What! Shit really?"
"Yeah, we walked out on the beach and he took my hand and... "
"What else?" Richelle said excitedly.
"He said he loves me," Delphine smiled pretending to be embarrassed but secretly proud.
"Delphine, that's wonderful!" Brites burst out.
Delphine laughed, "Ok, just shhh, about it because I don't think he would want it flying around school."
"My lips are seals."
"Me too... but it's going to be hard. It's so cute!"
"Thanks guys."
Delphine knew she would never be able to sleep now. She stared at the ceiling, and thought about him for what seemed like days before finally falling into a deep relaxing sleep.
Billie sat alone in his bedroom. He stared at the ceiling too, and the door, and the window and the walls. He fumbled around, held his breath, closed his eyes and dreamed about her but now the day seemed so long ago and she was already 2000 light years away. When the morning began to show, Billie sat outside to watch the sunrise. He looked as far out on the land as he could, as if he was trying to find her. In the distance he heard some laughter. 'Could it be her? I love her laugh. We laugh together. I have to see her today - soon.'
