In The End It Doesn't Even Matter-Sequel To, "Tell Me Who You Love!", chapter 14
I look from one to the other, my head spinning, my stomach doing somersaults, and my throat feels as if I've just dry swallowed a pill. What the fuck was going on?
"You want me to choose between you and Billie?" I ask, nervous laughter spilling from my mouth. Tre nods and takes another sip of his coffee as if he asked this sort of question to everybody.
"I can't fucking do that!" I say, outraged. I look over at Billie, whose face has turned a sickly white. I look into his eyes, the emerald green colour matching the colour of my skin right now as the feeling of sickness grows.
"Why not?" Tre asks.
"Because!..." I shout, banging my hands down on the table. "Because, it's just stupid to put so much pressure on me. I just can't do it," I say a little more softly, a tear rolling down my cheek.
"All I want to know is whether to pack my things and leave now, or to carry on and start a fresh with you," he says simply. I place a warm hand over Tre's and look at him with pleading eyes.
"I want to be with you Tre, of course I do. We have a family, I can't just throw all that away," I say
"Then why start having a relationship with Billie in the first place?" he asks.
"Because, the feelings grew. The feelings have been there since we were 15. They're hard to ignore."
"So what makes you think you'll be able to ignore them again?" he asks.
"Because I..." I start, glancing at Billie slightly, then over to Tre again.
"I love you," I finish, letting out a sigh of relief.
"You love him?" Billie suddenly says.
"Of course I do! What did you expect?"
"You told me you loved me. Of course I knew it would all end like this, but-"
"Billie, you have a wife. You can't have me as well." I interrupt.
"You love me?" Tre asks.
"Yes! Fucking hell, Tre, I love you!" I almost screech. Our eyes connect, and for the first time in a while, I see that spark of happiness flicker back into his bright blue eyes. I give him a warm smile.
"I need a piss," Billie says gruffly, shuffling out of the booth and heading for the toilets.
"I'll go and check on him," I say to Tre. He grabs my hand firmly. I look back round at him and immediatly his lips brush against mine. I place a hand on his cheek and give him a gentle, but warm, kiss. He smiles at me as I exit the booth and follow Billie.
"Billie?" I call out, gently opening the door of the men's toilets.
"Ergh! Wrong toilet lady," a startled man says, trying to cover up his penis.
"Ah, shut the fuck up. It's not like I've never seen one before," I say, ignoring him and looking round the corner.
"Billie!" I sigh, walking over to him. He's standing against one of the back walls, smoking heavily on a fag.
"This is really it?" he asks, puffing smoke from the corners of his mouth. I hold his hand gently.
"Yeah. I'm so sorry. And I know we've been in this situation before, but this really is it," I say.
"It's ok. It was destined to end this way." He shoves the fag butt down a sink hole, and blows the remaining smoke from his nostrils.
"It was great whilst it lasted," I say, a little hope of hapiness in my voice. He laughs and takes my hand.
"It was perfect," he says softly. I lean up and give him a quick peck on the lips.
"It was always perfect," I say, a smile across my face.
"You want me to choose between you and Billie?" I ask, nervous laughter spilling from my mouth. Tre nods and takes another sip of his coffee as if he asked this sort of question to everybody.
"I can't fucking do that!" I say, outraged. I look over at Billie, whose face has turned a sickly white. I look into his eyes, the emerald green colour matching the colour of my skin right now as the feeling of sickness grows.
"Why not?" Tre asks.
"Because!..." I shout, banging my hands down on the table. "Because, it's just stupid to put so much pressure on me. I just can't do it," I say a little more softly, a tear rolling down my cheek.
"All I want to know is whether to pack my things and leave now, or to carry on and start a fresh with you," he says simply. I place a warm hand over Tre's and look at him with pleading eyes.
"I want to be with you Tre, of course I do. We have a family, I can't just throw all that away," I say
"Then why start having a relationship with Billie in the first place?" he asks.
"Because, the feelings grew. The feelings have been there since we were 15. They're hard to ignore."
"So what makes you think you'll be able to ignore them again?" he asks.
"Because I..." I start, glancing at Billie slightly, then over to Tre again.
"I love you," I finish, letting out a sigh of relief.
"You love him?" Billie suddenly says.
"Of course I do! What did you expect?"
"You told me you loved me. Of course I knew it would all end like this, but-"
"Billie, you have a wife. You can't have me as well." I interrupt.
"You love me?" Tre asks.
"Yes! Fucking hell, Tre, I love you!" I almost screech. Our eyes connect, and for the first time in a while, I see that spark of happiness flicker back into his bright blue eyes. I give him a warm smile.
"I need a piss," Billie says gruffly, shuffling out of the booth and heading for the toilets.
"I'll go and check on him," I say to Tre. He grabs my hand firmly. I look back round at him and immediatly his lips brush against mine. I place a hand on his cheek and give him a gentle, but warm, kiss. He smiles at me as I exit the booth and follow Billie.
"Billie?" I call out, gently opening the door of the men's toilets.
"Ergh! Wrong toilet lady," a startled man says, trying to cover up his penis.
"Ah, shut the fuck up. It's not like I've never seen one before," I say, ignoring him and looking round the corner.
"Billie!" I sigh, walking over to him. He's standing against one of the back walls, smoking heavily on a fag.
"This is really it?" he asks, puffing smoke from the corners of his mouth. I hold his hand gently.
"Yeah. I'm so sorry. And I know we've been in this situation before, but this really is it," I say.
"It's ok. It was destined to end this way." He shoves the fag butt down a sink hole, and blows the remaining smoke from his nostrils.
"It was great whilst it lasted," I say, a little hope of hapiness in my voice. He laughs and takes my hand.
"It was perfect," he says softly. I lean up and give him a quick peck on the lips.
"It was always perfect," I say, a smile across my face.
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