Wicked Wishes, chapter 8
The next day at school I avoided everyone.
I stayed after a bit to straiten up my locker. I walked out onto the front steps. I saw Riot sitting there. He was holding his head in his hands. I sat down next to him.
"My mom was supposed to pick me up. Billie and Adie are at work and no one is home." I looked at him.
"I can give you a ride."
"Would you do that?" He stood up and ran down the steps. He tripped over the last three.
"Don't break your other arm." I said to him. It took all of my will not to run over to him and wrap my arms around him and tell him I love him because that's all I really wanted to do.
The car ride was very sickening. Half of me wanted to kiss him and tell him I love him while the other half wanted to bash his face in. I went with the angry half. I pulled the car over and started to hit him with my book bag.
"God damn it Riot you're an asshole!" I hit him even harder. He grabbed my book bag and threw it into the back seat.
"I'm sorry! I love you I do!"
"You've got a damn good way of showing it too!" I yelled and slapped him across the face. "I guess you forgot what you told me!"
"No I didn't Chadd. And I still mean it."
"Then prove it to me."
"I will but I can't."
"And why can't you?"
"It's not the right time, but the right time is soon."
I looked at him.
"What the hell is your problem Riot!? I love you so much but I think you're insane! You're crazy!"
"Please forgive me!"
"I do Riot but just don't do it again." I looked down at his wrist there was a puffy red scar. I grabbed his wrist and looked at it.
"What is that?"
"It's none of your business Chadd!" He pulled his arm away. I looked at him.
"Did you... " I didn't even want to finish my own sentence, I just started the car.
When we got back to Riots house I went inside with him. He laid down on the couch. I laid on top of him.
"What are you doing?" I kissed him and laid my head on his chest.
"Taking a nap." Was all I said.
"Sounds like a good idea." He said wrapping his arm around me. I fell asleep almost right away. I wasn't sure what to think of Riot's scar. I hope you hadn't done what I though he had.
I woke up about half an hour later. Riot had fallen asleep too. I gently rolled off of him. He woke up.
"What is it?"
"I have to go home."
"Oh ok." He sat up. I kissed him and walked out the door.
<Riot's P.O.V>
The next morning at school I came early to see Chadd. I was standing by her locker when she came. I was wearing a sweatshirt to hide from her what I had done to my arm. She pulled the sleeve up. I tried to pull away from but she pulled back. Not far away from the scar she had seen yesterday was another one. It was red and puffy. She ran her finger over it. She eyed all the old pale scars that had come from what I had done a while ago before I knew her. How could I tell her I cut myself for every person I hurt? The Two most recent ones I had done because I had hurt her. That one was closest to my wrist. It also bled the most. The other one was because I had gotten into a fight with my mom. How could I tell her that a week before I moved to Oakland I had tried to kill myself with an overdose? That was them main reason we moved. Not because of my drunken father but because I had tried to kill myself. I had made a promise with my mom that if we moved to Oakland and I lived with Billie I wouldn't cut myself anymore. As you can tell I broke that promise fast.
She pulled the sleeve back down and let go of my arm. The scars on my other arm we covered by my cast. I don't think I would ever be able to tell her what I had done or what I was doing.
<Chadd's P.O.V>
I left Riot standing alone. I wasn't sure what to say.
After school I went home and then around 5:00 I walked down to Riot's house. I knocked on the door and Billie answered.
"Oh Riot is not here. He is driving Joey and Jakob to a friend's house for me. He should be back soon. You can wait if you want."
I stepped into the house and sat on a stool by the counter. I wondered if I should tell Billie what Riot had done.
"Did you see Riot's wrist?" I asked Billie as he shuffled through some of the cabinets. He stopped and looked up at me. He sighed and looked back into the cabinets.
"Riot is going to kill me for telling you this but... " Billie said standing up. "Riot has this thing were he cracks under to much pressure. He can't handle much of it. Riot thinks he has to be perfect for everyone. He can't disappoint them or else he feels terrible. But I've noticed since he has moved here it hasn't been as bad. I think it's because of you."
I didnt wait for Riot to come. I left and went home.
<Riot's P.O.V>
When I got home Billie had started acting strange around me. I sat on the couch and read a book.
"Riot would you go get Jakob a glass of water?" Adie asked me as she turned to walk up the steps. Jakob had had a cough since he got home from his friends house.
"Sure." I put the book down. After I had filled it I accidentally dropped it. It cracked into tiny pieces spilling the water everywhere.
"Shit!" I yelled.
"Its alright Ill get it." Billie said. He had just walked into the kitchen.
"Look what you did James!" My mom yelled at me.
"It's fine Jessica!" Billie said kneeling on the ground wiping up the water.
"James you're always making a mess and you never clean them up. Clean that up!"
"Jessica! It's not that big of a deal!"
"What do you keep screwing up James?"
I looked at my mom and she looked at me. I didn't say anything. I grabbed the keys to Billie's truck and walked out the door slamming it as hard as I could. I knew I would never be enough for my mom so why did I hurt my self every time I disappointed her?
I started the car. I drove to Chadd's apartment. It was very hard with a cast on. I knew I wouldn't get past her brother so I climbed up the fire escape. I tapped on her window. She nearly screamed when she saw me hanging there.
"You're going to break your other arm!" She whispered opening the window. I laughed trying not to fall.
"Can you come out?"
"Umm yeah." She locked her door and pulled on a sweatshirt. I climbed down the ladder and she followed. I let her drive.
About 20 miles through our trip we were pulled over by the cops. They said the car had been reported stolen. They made us get in the car with them and toke us down to the station. We waited in a cell for awhile. Chadd laid down on a bench. I started singing.
"Breaking rocks in hot sun! I fought the law and the law one!" I rattled the cell bars. I screamed/sang the rest of the song. Chadd was laughing. I walked over to her and pulled her up. She grabbed a tuff of my red and black hair.
"You know what? We could do it right here right now." I joked starting to kiss her neck. A police officer had sat down at the desk across from the cell. I could tell he was watching us. Billie walked into the station. I pulled away from Chadd.
"I didn't steal your car asswipe!" I yelled kicking the cell bars.
"God damn it I know you didn't!" Billie yelled back. "I didn't do it! Your mother called it in! So just hold on!"
He walked over to the police officers desk. He made up some story about how he had forgotten that he had let me borrow the car and it was a false alarm. The officer let us out. Billie had to sign a few papers. We walked out into the parking lot.
<Chadd's P.O.V>
Riot wrapped his arm around my waist and sang into my ear. At least he had a good voice.
"Chadd." He whispered. "I have to tell you something. Hold on Billie!"
"Right." Billie said walking back to the car.
"Chadd a week before I moved here I tried to kill myself. That's the reason we moved, not because of my dad."
I looked at him. I wanted to tell him that it didn't matter because that it happened before I knew him and that was over. But it did matter because he and started to cut himself.
"Riot, you don't have to be perfect. It doesn't matter if you screw up or make people mad. You can't please everyone." I told him grabbing his arm and pulling up his sleeve and running my fingers over the scars.
"You don't understand Chadd I have too. I have to make it work and it has to be perfect."
"No it doesn't Riot! Its fine the way it is! Riot its ok. It might not be perfect but its ok and ok is enough."
He smiled at me.
"I love you Chadd. I'm sorry."
"Riot don't hurt yourself. Please." I buried my face into his chest.
"I'm not Chadd I promise."
Billie gave me a ride home. It was around one o clock when I climbed back up the fire escape. I was surprised I hadn't woken David up.
I walked into the living room and saw a red haired woman sitting on the couch. She was in a bathrobe.
"David!" I yelled. He came running down the hallway.
"What Chadd?"
"Who is this?" I asked him.
"Her names Vikki. She's a friend of mine."
I gave him a disgusted look and walked back into my room.
I stayed after a bit to straiten up my locker. I walked out onto the front steps. I saw Riot sitting there. He was holding his head in his hands. I sat down next to him.
"My mom was supposed to pick me up. Billie and Adie are at work and no one is home." I looked at him.
"I can give you a ride."
"Would you do that?" He stood up and ran down the steps. He tripped over the last three.
"Don't break your other arm." I said to him. It took all of my will not to run over to him and wrap my arms around him and tell him I love him because that's all I really wanted to do.
The car ride was very sickening. Half of me wanted to kiss him and tell him I love him while the other half wanted to bash his face in. I went with the angry half. I pulled the car over and started to hit him with my book bag.
"God damn it Riot you're an asshole!" I hit him even harder. He grabbed my book bag and threw it into the back seat.
"I'm sorry! I love you I do!"
"You've got a damn good way of showing it too!" I yelled and slapped him across the face. "I guess you forgot what you told me!"
"No I didn't Chadd. And I still mean it."
"Then prove it to me."
"I will but I can't."
"And why can't you?"
"It's not the right time, but the right time is soon."
I looked at him.
"What the hell is your problem Riot!? I love you so much but I think you're insane! You're crazy!"
"Please forgive me!"
"I do Riot but just don't do it again." I looked down at his wrist there was a puffy red scar. I grabbed his wrist and looked at it.
"What is that?"
"It's none of your business Chadd!" He pulled his arm away. I looked at him.
"Did you... " I didn't even want to finish my own sentence, I just started the car.
When we got back to Riots house I went inside with him. He laid down on the couch. I laid on top of him.
"What are you doing?" I kissed him and laid my head on his chest.
"Taking a nap." Was all I said.
"Sounds like a good idea." He said wrapping his arm around me. I fell asleep almost right away. I wasn't sure what to think of Riot's scar. I hope you hadn't done what I though he had.
I woke up about half an hour later. Riot had fallen asleep too. I gently rolled off of him. He woke up.
"What is it?"
"I have to go home."
"Oh ok." He sat up. I kissed him and walked out the door.
<Riot's P.O.V>
The next morning at school I came early to see Chadd. I was standing by her locker when she came. I was wearing a sweatshirt to hide from her what I had done to my arm. She pulled the sleeve up. I tried to pull away from but she pulled back. Not far away from the scar she had seen yesterday was another one. It was red and puffy. She ran her finger over it. She eyed all the old pale scars that had come from what I had done a while ago before I knew her. How could I tell her I cut myself for every person I hurt? The Two most recent ones I had done because I had hurt her. That one was closest to my wrist. It also bled the most. The other one was because I had gotten into a fight with my mom. How could I tell her that a week before I moved to Oakland I had tried to kill myself with an overdose? That was them main reason we moved. Not because of my drunken father but because I had tried to kill myself. I had made a promise with my mom that if we moved to Oakland and I lived with Billie I wouldn't cut myself anymore. As you can tell I broke that promise fast.
She pulled the sleeve back down and let go of my arm. The scars on my other arm we covered by my cast. I don't think I would ever be able to tell her what I had done or what I was doing.
<Chadd's P.O.V>
I left Riot standing alone. I wasn't sure what to say.
After school I went home and then around 5:00 I walked down to Riot's house. I knocked on the door and Billie answered.
"Oh Riot is not here. He is driving Joey and Jakob to a friend's house for me. He should be back soon. You can wait if you want."
I stepped into the house and sat on a stool by the counter. I wondered if I should tell Billie what Riot had done.
"Did you see Riot's wrist?" I asked Billie as he shuffled through some of the cabinets. He stopped and looked up at me. He sighed and looked back into the cabinets.
"Riot is going to kill me for telling you this but... " Billie said standing up. "Riot has this thing were he cracks under to much pressure. He can't handle much of it. Riot thinks he has to be perfect for everyone. He can't disappoint them or else he feels terrible. But I've noticed since he has moved here it hasn't been as bad. I think it's because of you."
I didnt wait for Riot to come. I left and went home.
<Riot's P.O.V>
When I got home Billie had started acting strange around me. I sat on the couch and read a book.
"Riot would you go get Jakob a glass of water?" Adie asked me as she turned to walk up the steps. Jakob had had a cough since he got home from his friends house.
"Sure." I put the book down. After I had filled it I accidentally dropped it. It cracked into tiny pieces spilling the water everywhere.
"Shit!" I yelled.
"Its alright Ill get it." Billie said. He had just walked into the kitchen.
"Look what you did James!" My mom yelled at me.
"It's fine Jessica!" Billie said kneeling on the ground wiping up the water.
"James you're always making a mess and you never clean them up. Clean that up!"
"Jessica! It's not that big of a deal!"
"What do you keep screwing up James?"
I looked at my mom and she looked at me. I didn't say anything. I grabbed the keys to Billie's truck and walked out the door slamming it as hard as I could. I knew I would never be enough for my mom so why did I hurt my self every time I disappointed her?
I started the car. I drove to Chadd's apartment. It was very hard with a cast on. I knew I wouldn't get past her brother so I climbed up the fire escape. I tapped on her window. She nearly screamed when she saw me hanging there.
"You're going to break your other arm!" She whispered opening the window. I laughed trying not to fall.
"Can you come out?"
"Umm yeah." She locked her door and pulled on a sweatshirt. I climbed down the ladder and she followed. I let her drive.
About 20 miles through our trip we were pulled over by the cops. They said the car had been reported stolen. They made us get in the car with them and toke us down to the station. We waited in a cell for awhile. Chadd laid down on a bench. I started singing.
"Breaking rocks in hot sun! I fought the law and the law one!" I rattled the cell bars. I screamed/sang the rest of the song. Chadd was laughing. I walked over to her and pulled her up. She grabbed a tuff of my red and black hair.
"You know what? We could do it right here right now." I joked starting to kiss her neck. A police officer had sat down at the desk across from the cell. I could tell he was watching us. Billie walked into the station. I pulled away from Chadd.
"I didn't steal your car asswipe!" I yelled kicking the cell bars.
"God damn it I know you didn't!" Billie yelled back. "I didn't do it! Your mother called it in! So just hold on!"
He walked over to the police officers desk. He made up some story about how he had forgotten that he had let me borrow the car and it was a false alarm. The officer let us out. Billie had to sign a few papers. We walked out into the parking lot.
<Chadd's P.O.V>
Riot wrapped his arm around my waist and sang into my ear. At least he had a good voice.
"Chadd." He whispered. "I have to tell you something. Hold on Billie!"
"Right." Billie said walking back to the car.
"Chadd a week before I moved here I tried to kill myself. That's the reason we moved, not because of my dad."
I looked at him. I wanted to tell him that it didn't matter because that it happened before I knew him and that was over. But it did matter because he and started to cut himself.
"Riot, you don't have to be perfect. It doesn't matter if you screw up or make people mad. You can't please everyone." I told him grabbing his arm and pulling up his sleeve and running my fingers over the scars.
"You don't understand Chadd I have too. I have to make it work and it has to be perfect."
"No it doesn't Riot! Its fine the way it is! Riot its ok. It might not be perfect but its ok and ok is enough."
He smiled at me.
"I love you Chadd. I'm sorry."
"Riot don't hurt yourself. Please." I buried my face into his chest.
"I'm not Chadd I promise."
Billie gave me a ride home. It was around one o clock when I climbed back up the fire escape. I was surprised I hadn't woken David up.
I walked into the living room and saw a red haired woman sitting on the couch. She was in a bathrobe.
"David!" I yelled. He came running down the hallway.
"What Chadd?"
"Who is this?" I asked him.
"Her names Vikki. She's a friend of mine."
I gave him a disgusted look and walked back into my room.
