Please Wake Me Up When September Ends or Let Me Here to Die!, chapter 16
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Billie, I wouldn't lie about this." He nodded and kissed my lips.
We walked back into the living room and sat down. I laid down on my back and Billie lied on top of me. I smiled and put my lips to his, he kissed back.
We watched TV for a while when someone walked in.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Billie jumped up and met the eyes of Brad.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!" he yelled.
Brad punched Billie in the face.
"THAT'S IT!" I screamed. "What the fuck do you want from us?!"
He smiled at me and then pushed me on the couch. Billie ran over and jumped on his back but Brad threw him off. Billie must have been hurt 'cause he didn't get up when Brad began to undo my belt. "BILLIE!" I screamed.
He got up and ran over and punched in the side of his face. It didn't affect him but he still punched Billie hard in the stomach. Billie went down. He fell to the ground holding his stomach. "BILLIE!" I yelled again.
Brad had gotten my pants and my underwear off and was about to rape me. "BILLIE JOE! FUCKING HELP ME!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Billie didn't move. Just then he stuck it in me and I felt a sharp pain. He wasn't gentle and I was hurting. "OW YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!!" I yelled.
.:A half Hour Later:.
He was still touching me like this when someone came through the front door.
"Billie, Seth, we're back!" Tré yelled.
"OW YOU FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled again.
Tré came into the living room and ran over and jumped Brad. Which made Brad fall on top of me. Brad got up and went after Tré. I just gave up and fell into a panic attack.
.:3 hours later:.
I woke up and looked around. I was in Billie's and my room. Billie was sitting on the bottom of the bed. I kicked him with my foot and he jumped. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and he crawled on top of me. "You ok?"
"Not really. I am very sore."
He kissed me tenderly on my lips and then pulled away. "Babe, we are gonna go and stay at your aunt's house."
I nodded. I knew he didn't want me hurt anymore and I don't want him hurt more either. "I packed your stuff and put it in the car. Ok?"
I nodded and he got up and picked me up bride style and carried me out.
We got down the steps and out the door. We were in the car and halfway to my aunt's. "Do the others know what happened?" I asked looking out the window.
"Yea, they also know we are going to your aunt's."
I nodded. He reached his hand over and put it in mine. "Come on babe. Cheer up."
"Billie, would you cheer up if you were raped?"
"No. But I wouldn't act all sad."
I giggled not knowing what else to do. "What about Ryan. Does he know?"
Billie shook his head. I sighed. "How am I supposed to tell him?"
"I don't know babe."
I looked back to the window and started silently crying. "How am I supposed to tell him?" I asked myself over and over again. I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked over to Billie.
"We're here."
I looked to the house and saw the living room light on. Billie got out and walked over and opened my door. He picked me up, shut the door with his foot and took me to the door. Once he reached the door I got to ring the door bell. We heard walking as the door creaked open.
"Seth!"
"Ryan!"
Billie put me down as Ryan pulled me into a hug. He let go moments later and gave Billie a handshake.
"So... Billie, why are you carrying Seth?"
"Uh, we'll tell you inside."
He nodded and Billie picked me back up. We walked inside and through the living room. Billie and I said a small "Hi." to my aunt as he carried me up the steps.
"Bill, you don't have to do this. I think I can walk."
"But I don't want you to get hurt," he said giving me puppy dog eyes.
"Fine," I gave up. I really didn't feel good.
He smiled as we walked into Ryan's room. He set me down on the bed as he climbed behind me and held on tight. Ryan came over and sat down too. "So... what's going on?"
"Uh... well... "
"Come on Seth, you can tell me."
"BillieJoe'sstepfatherrapedme," I said all in one breathe
I looked down and started to cry. Ryan reached over and pulled me into a hug.
"I'll give you two some time alone." Ryan nodded as Billie got up and walked out.
Ryan and I were discussing what had happened. "When did this happen?"
"Today... Billie and I were watching TV when Brad walked in and... and... "
"It's ok. You don't have to say it."
I nodded and looked towards the door. "You do realize that you have to go to the doctors?" I nodded. I just shivered at the thought of being pregnant with Brad's baby.
Just then Billie walked back in and looked at me. I smiled weakly as he came over to me. "Hey, I called the doctors. You have an appointment next Thursday.
"Thanks baby," I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and looked back to the door.
He smiled and walked back out.
I looked at the clock on Ryan's bedside table. It read: 5:34 pm. If I knew my aunt she would be calling us to dinner any second. "Kids! Time for Supper!"
See what I mean? Billie walked in as I stood up. "FUCK!"
"I told you no!"
"You said no such thing Bill."
He rolled his eyes and picked me up. We walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Hey sweetie."
"Hi, Aunt Tally."
We finished eating and I tried to walk again. "Espèce de Connard." Billie looked at me like I was psycho. "What? I learned French."
He smiled as he picked me up. We went back upstairs and into my room.
He set me on the bed and looked at me. "What?"
"What did you say earlier in French?"
I chuckled then said, "Fucking asshole."
He busted out laughing then looked at me. "You truly are one amazing girl. You know that?" I nodded and laid down patting the spot beside me. He laid down and wrapped his arms around me. "You know what babe?"
"Hmm?" I hummed.
"Tré said that you could sing."
"He did?"
"Yea... so can I hear ya?"
"Well... I don't think I'm that good."
"I just want to hear ya."
"Fine."
He got up and walked over to my CD rack. "Um... " I wasn't sure what he wanted me to sing. He smiled and walked over and sat beside me. "Go ask Ryan for his guitar please." He nodded and got up.
About 5 minutes later he came in with the guitar. I strummed it to see if it was in tune, and it was.
I could hear your momma scream
She's gonna waste herself away
When your daddy smashed that TV screen
I understand what he had to say
I'm going to get me a big, big, big
Big, Big car
Then I'm gonna drive, drive, drive
I'm gonna drive so far
Up your boulevard
Up your boulevard
So far up your boulevard
I finished singing and he just stared at me, "What?"
"You are fucking awesome!" I laughed and then put the guitar down.
.:One week later (Thursday):.
I was rushing around my aunt's house trying to find my clothes. I could finally walk and I was happy.
Today was the day I went to the doctors.
I walked up to my room and got out a black shirt and black pants. I walked into the bathroom and took a long hot and needed shower. As I felt the warm water pelting my skin there was a knock on the door. "Yea?"
"Babe, can I come in?"
"Sure."
Billie walked in and I looked out. "What do ya need?"
"Can I come in there with you?" I started laughing. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing, yea you can come in."
He took off his boxers and stepped in wrapping his arms around me. "This feels nice."
I started laughing again after he whispered something in my ear. "No, we are not having shower sex." He burst out laughing.
We finished our shower and got out. I started getting dressed while Billie put on eyeliner. I put my eyeliner on too and walked out and into my room.
After combing my hair I went downstairs to tell my aunt that we were leaving. "Aunt Tally?"
"I'm in the kitchen." I walked in and over to her. "Hey darling. What are you doing?"
"We are gonna go to the doctors."
"Oh. Ok." She smiled and went back to making coffee.
Billie walked down and into the kitchen. "If only Mike were here. He would be all over that coffee." I chuckled and walked into the living room with Billie following close behind. "You ready?"
I nodded and went to the door grabbing the keys. He came over grabbed my hand and opened the door taking the keys. With my free hand I shut the door.
We got into the car and began our 10 minute drive to the doctors.
"Babe, what ever happens, I want you to know that, I still love you."
"I love you too Bill."
The rest of the way we drove in silence.
.: At the doctors:.
We were sitting in the very uncomfortable chairs waiting for my name to be called.
"Seth Watson?" asked the nurse. Billie and I stood up and followed her into a small room.
We finished the testing and she... well, I guess we should call her by her name.
Dr. Phillips told us she would be back with the results in 10 minutes.
"So... uh... "
"It's ok Bill, you don't have to say anything." I continued to stare at the floor.
"No, I need to. It was my stepfather's fault if you are pregnant."
I looked up at Billie with tears in my eyes. He rushed over and held me while I cried into his shoulder. "Billie, if I am... I want an abortion... "
"But... but... ."
"No 'but' about it Billie Joe."
"Well, if it's what you really want."
"Trust me... it is."
10 minutes later Dr. Philips came back in. Billie was still holding me as she sat down and looked us straight in the eyes.
"Well. To tell you the truth. You may not like this. At all."
"Just please tell us."
"Ok... Seth... you are... .."
"Are you sure?"
"Billie, I wouldn't lie about this." He nodded and kissed my lips.
We walked back into the living room and sat down. I laid down on my back and Billie lied on top of me. I smiled and put my lips to his, he kissed back.
We watched TV for a while when someone walked in.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Billie jumped up and met the eyes of Brad.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!" he yelled.
Brad punched Billie in the face.
"THAT'S IT!" I screamed. "What the fuck do you want from us?!"
He smiled at me and then pushed me on the couch. Billie ran over and jumped on his back but Brad threw him off. Billie must have been hurt 'cause he didn't get up when Brad began to undo my belt. "BILLIE!" I screamed.
He got up and ran over and punched in the side of his face. It didn't affect him but he still punched Billie hard in the stomach. Billie went down. He fell to the ground holding his stomach. "BILLIE!" I yelled again.
Brad had gotten my pants and my underwear off and was about to rape me. "BILLIE JOE! FUCKING HELP ME!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Billie didn't move. Just then he stuck it in me and I felt a sharp pain. He wasn't gentle and I was hurting. "OW YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!!" I yelled.
.:A half Hour Later:.
He was still touching me like this when someone came through the front door.
"Billie, Seth, we're back!" Tré yelled.
"OW YOU FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled again.
Tré came into the living room and ran over and jumped Brad. Which made Brad fall on top of me. Brad got up and went after Tré. I just gave up and fell into a panic attack.
.:3 hours later:.
I woke up and looked around. I was in Billie's and my room. Billie was sitting on the bottom of the bed. I kicked him with my foot and he jumped. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and he crawled on top of me. "You ok?"
"Not really. I am very sore."
He kissed me tenderly on my lips and then pulled away. "Babe, we are gonna go and stay at your aunt's house."
I nodded. I knew he didn't want me hurt anymore and I don't want him hurt more either. "I packed your stuff and put it in the car. Ok?"
I nodded and he got up and picked me up bride style and carried me out.
We got down the steps and out the door. We were in the car and halfway to my aunt's. "Do the others know what happened?" I asked looking out the window.
"Yea, they also know we are going to your aunt's."
I nodded. He reached his hand over and put it in mine. "Come on babe. Cheer up."
"Billie, would you cheer up if you were raped?"
"No. But I wouldn't act all sad."
I giggled not knowing what else to do. "What about Ryan. Does he know?"
Billie shook his head. I sighed. "How am I supposed to tell him?"
"I don't know babe."
I looked back to the window and started silently crying. "How am I supposed to tell him?" I asked myself over and over again. I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked over to Billie.
"We're here."
I looked to the house and saw the living room light on. Billie got out and walked over and opened my door. He picked me up, shut the door with his foot and took me to the door. Once he reached the door I got to ring the door bell. We heard walking as the door creaked open.
"Seth!"
"Ryan!"
Billie put me down as Ryan pulled me into a hug. He let go moments later and gave Billie a handshake.
"So... Billie, why are you carrying Seth?"
"Uh, we'll tell you inside."
He nodded and Billie picked me back up. We walked inside and through the living room. Billie and I said a small "Hi." to my aunt as he carried me up the steps.
"Bill, you don't have to do this. I think I can walk."
"But I don't want you to get hurt," he said giving me puppy dog eyes.
"Fine," I gave up. I really didn't feel good.
He smiled as we walked into Ryan's room. He set me down on the bed as he climbed behind me and held on tight. Ryan came over and sat down too. "So... what's going on?"
"Uh... well... "
"Come on Seth, you can tell me."
"BillieJoe'sstepfatherrapedme," I said all in one breathe
I looked down and started to cry. Ryan reached over and pulled me into a hug.
"I'll give you two some time alone." Ryan nodded as Billie got up and walked out.
Ryan and I were discussing what had happened. "When did this happen?"
"Today... Billie and I were watching TV when Brad walked in and... and... "
"It's ok. You don't have to say it."
I nodded and looked towards the door. "You do realize that you have to go to the doctors?" I nodded. I just shivered at the thought of being pregnant with Brad's baby.
Just then Billie walked back in and looked at me. I smiled weakly as he came over to me. "Hey, I called the doctors. You have an appointment next Thursday.
"Thanks baby," I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and looked back to the door.
He smiled and walked back out.
I looked at the clock on Ryan's bedside table. It read: 5:34 pm. If I knew my aunt she would be calling us to dinner any second. "Kids! Time for Supper!"
See what I mean? Billie walked in as I stood up. "FUCK!"
"I told you no!"
"You said no such thing Bill."
He rolled his eyes and picked me up. We walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Hey sweetie."
"Hi, Aunt Tally."
We finished eating and I tried to walk again. "Espèce de Connard." Billie looked at me like I was psycho. "What? I learned French."
He smiled as he picked me up. We went back upstairs and into my room.
He set me on the bed and looked at me. "What?"
"What did you say earlier in French?"
I chuckled then said, "Fucking asshole."
He busted out laughing then looked at me. "You truly are one amazing girl. You know that?" I nodded and laid down patting the spot beside me. He laid down and wrapped his arms around me. "You know what babe?"
"Hmm?" I hummed.
"Tré said that you could sing."
"He did?"
"Yea... so can I hear ya?"
"Well... I don't think I'm that good."
"I just want to hear ya."
"Fine."
He got up and walked over to my CD rack. "Um... " I wasn't sure what he wanted me to sing. He smiled and walked over and sat beside me. "Go ask Ryan for his guitar please." He nodded and got up.
About 5 minutes later he came in with the guitar. I strummed it to see if it was in tune, and it was.
I could hear your momma scream
She's gonna waste herself away
When your daddy smashed that TV screen
I understand what he had to say
I'm going to get me a big, big, big
Big, Big car
Then I'm gonna drive, drive, drive
I'm gonna drive so far
Up your boulevard
Up your boulevard
So far up your boulevard
I finished singing and he just stared at me, "What?"
"You are fucking awesome!" I laughed and then put the guitar down.
.:One week later (Thursday):.
I was rushing around my aunt's house trying to find my clothes. I could finally walk and I was happy.
Today was the day I went to the doctors.
I walked up to my room and got out a black shirt and black pants. I walked into the bathroom and took a long hot and needed shower. As I felt the warm water pelting my skin there was a knock on the door. "Yea?"
"Babe, can I come in?"
"Sure."
Billie walked in and I looked out. "What do ya need?"
"Can I come in there with you?" I started laughing. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing, yea you can come in."
He took off his boxers and stepped in wrapping his arms around me. "This feels nice."
I started laughing again after he whispered something in my ear. "No, we are not having shower sex." He burst out laughing.
We finished our shower and got out. I started getting dressed while Billie put on eyeliner. I put my eyeliner on too and walked out and into my room.
After combing my hair I went downstairs to tell my aunt that we were leaving. "Aunt Tally?"
"I'm in the kitchen." I walked in and over to her. "Hey darling. What are you doing?"
"We are gonna go to the doctors."
"Oh. Ok." She smiled and went back to making coffee.
Billie walked down and into the kitchen. "If only Mike were here. He would be all over that coffee." I chuckled and walked into the living room with Billie following close behind. "You ready?"
I nodded and went to the door grabbing the keys. He came over grabbed my hand and opened the door taking the keys. With my free hand I shut the door.
We got into the car and began our 10 minute drive to the doctors.
"Babe, what ever happens, I want you to know that, I still love you."
"I love you too Bill."
The rest of the way we drove in silence.
.: At the doctors:.
We were sitting in the very uncomfortable chairs waiting for my name to be called.
"Seth Watson?" asked the nurse. Billie and I stood up and followed her into a small room.
We finished the testing and she... well, I guess we should call her by her name.
Dr. Phillips told us she would be back with the results in 10 minutes.
"So... uh... "
"It's ok Bill, you don't have to say anything." I continued to stare at the floor.
"No, I need to. It was my stepfather's fault if you are pregnant."
I looked up at Billie with tears in my eyes. He rushed over and held me while I cried into his shoulder. "Billie, if I am... I want an abortion... "
"But... but... ."
"No 'but' about it Billie Joe."
"Well, if it's what you really want."
"Trust me... it is."
10 minutes later Dr. Philips came back in. Billie was still holding me as she sat down and looked us straight in the eyes.
"Well. To tell you the truth. You may not like this. At all."
"Just please tell us."
"Ok... Seth... you are... .."
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