All By Myself, All On My Own, chapter 1
I woke up around six o'clock and went down stairs for breakfast. Walking out my bedroom door I turned off the lights. It was dark out still the rain clouds from last night hadn't moved away yet to show any sunlight. I went through the kitchen doors and poured myself some cereal taking huge bites at a time I set the bowl in the sink to later be washed and put away then ran back upstairs. I pulled a bag out of my closet and dumped the colorful cloth inside all over the floor.
Okay let me explain...My name is Kikiranali (-kee-kee-ree-nal-lee-)(try saying that ten times fast.) Yeah I guess you can just call me Kiki. I live in Florida in a small town (if that is really possible.) I am in such a rush today because in two weeks there is a huge Green Day concert and I got tickets. I couldn't find a good outfit though so I am making my own GD clothes. Can you tell I'm excited? I have just started getting the supplies though and I took a vacation from work at McDonalds. I know sucky place to work but I haven't really found a good job yet. I havn't really had time to do much but now I did. The concert would be in the city which is about a 2 hour drive so I would need a hotel to stay at.
I picked up peices of cloth and some thread and sewed till my hands were sore. I know such a girly hobby sewing but ever since I was 15 I made all my clothes well until I graduated from school 3 years ago now I havn't had time to. I started cutting at red cloth until the words Green Day formed in a strip of cloth. These would be the straps to my shirt later on. I took some black cloth and pulled it together for a skirt and jeans. I stopped around 11:00 and put everything back in the bag putting it away for tomarrow.
The next day I didn't work on it at all. I went to the store to stock up on food for the next few days before I took my trip to the city. Today the sun was warm beating down on my head. Little kids were out in the street kicking a ball around on the pavement before a car came and they raan off to the side of the road. Amongst the group of kids I spotted my cousin Katrina with her normal beaming face. She wore a pink dress and sneakers her short blonde hair up in pig tails. She ran over and gave me a hug before running back to play with the others. I spotted Jake as well running around trying to get near the ball. Jake was the child of my best friend Kilana. She lived about 3 streets away. I walked home carrying three bags of food and other supplies.
I set the bags down on the kitchen table and went into the living room and took a seat on the couch. I grabbed my headset off of the bedside table and put in my 'American Idiot' CD. I putit on Jesus of Suburbia and sat back listening to the music singing the words as I slowly drifted off to sleep."I'm the son of rage and love, the jesus of suburbia the bible of none of the above on a steady diet of, soda pop and ritalin, no one ever died for my sins in hell as far as I can tell these are ones I've gotten away with..." I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
I woke up only about 15 minutes later to a knock on my door. When I opened it up in walked little Jake and Katrina. Jake had a small scrape on his knee which was a light redish color. "My mommy is home aunt Kiki and I falled down." He said sitting down on the rug and rubbing his sore knee."Okay then come on." I said picking up the little boy and taking him into the bathroom. I rinsed the scrape with warm water and put a glow in the dark band-aid on his knee. Katrina stood in the door waiting for her friend to come. Even if she was 3 years older than him. He got off the counter and I watched the two run back outside to join the others once again in the street. I went ack out to the couch and went back asleep now listening to 'Wake Me Up When September Ends'.
This next time I woke up it was around 4:00. I got off the couch and stretched. I went upstairs and once again pulled out the bag of cloth. The kids in the street were gone except little Jake who was with his mom getting in the car. I looked out the window and watched him show my best friend his bandage. He cupped his hands around his knee to block the sun and make it glow. Kilana scooped the little boy up in her arms and put him in the car and they drove off down the road.
I sat on the soft carpet and looked through at what still needed to be done at my outfit. I still needed to get the shirt together and the pants, socks, and a little on the skirt. Everything else was done. I looked around the room. My bed was a little messy and my Green Day posters seemed to stare down at me from the walls and ceiling. A picture of Tre seemed to be the weirdest one just the expression on his face seemed creepy. It seemed no matter where you sttod in the room the eyes always looked at you and in the poster Tre looked kinda devilish and sorry but it really freaks me out. I had that poster for years now. When Kilana spent the night at my house before I moved here that poster hung over my bed and we had to hang a blanket like thing from the ceiling so it wouldn't scare her at night.
I had many pics and posters and drawings of them on my wall. My favorite drawing I did in highschool of them at one of their concerts. Tre was standing at his drum set banging away partly jumping in the air, Mike in his usual stance playing the bass and Billie Joe singing into the microphone his guitar hanging from his shoulder. A huge sign in the background said Green Day in bold letters and Green and Red lights shinig down on them. I mean well the pic didn't really look like a picture taken but it was pretty good. It looked so much like them as Kilana said to me when she first saw it. That picture hung now right above my bed frame where I could almost always see it. I also had a nice pic that was taken by a kid from school who gave it to me for my collection. I looked back at my clothes. I held the shirt front up to my chest. Perfect fit... so far...I didn't feel like working on this suddenly. I left everything scattered on the floor and sat down on my bed. I took my drawing pad off of my bedside table and started to sketch the outline of a person then added detail and four more people. I drew Me, Kilana, little Jake, Katrina and my boyfriend James who now lived on the other side of town. We were both always so busy I never really get to talk to him but he was the one who got me these tickets. It was for my birthday a couple weeks ago. I flipped the page up on my small sketch book to see three tickets to the Green Day concert. One for me,the others for Kilana and James. Jake would be at the hotel sleeping while we were at the concert. He pretty much is always sleeping by 7:00 so no problem. We would get back before anyone knew he was gone. I flipped the page back over and finished the picture I drew Green Day in the background playing a song. Over the top I wrote 'The perfect family' though it wasn't I could feel the bond between me and James slowly slipping away and my friend who had a child now and lived alone the father (Mark) left her right after the baby was born. I looked at the picture wishing everything would be okay. I turned to another page where I had drawn aa picture of me and Kilana at the beach right before she had her baby. Things were so great back then now I felt alone. I was still friends with her but she never really had time away from Jake no time to just hang out with me like before. On another page was a silly picture I drew when Mark left her. It had me Jake and Kilana together. little Jake held a knife in his hand and I had a gun in mine. Kilana held Jake in her arms. Mark sat on the floor holding his arm bleeding and crying and at the top I wrote 'Get Lost' when I drew that I was just so pissed at him for leaving. She stayed at my house for weeks till she was able to handle her life without the father. I hope I never see his face again. I set the art pad back on the table and resorted to looking up at the ceiling daydreaming till the sun set and I fell back asleep.
Three days later I was packed and ready to go. James had his car in the driveway. Jake and Kilana were in the car waiting. James helped me lug my suitcase into the trunk of the car. When everyone was ready we drove off. After about an hour of driving and after we made a stop for lunch and bathroom brakes I pulled my drawing pad back out and started looking through all I had done. I showed little Jake my perfect family picture he didn't know who Green Day was but he recognized himself and the rest of us. "You still got that drawing book I gave you." James said trying to keep his eyes on the road. "Yeah why wouldn't I?" I asked closing the book on Jake who was trying to flip to the next page with the picture where we had tried to murder his father. I didn't want him to see it of course. "Well I had figured it would be full by now I see you drawing in it all the time when I come over." He said making a left turn. Jake being the funny little boy he was leaned to over exagerate the turn. "Weeeeee!" he shouted throwing his arms up like he was on a rollar coaster but accidentally hitting his mom in the nose. "Remember when we used to do that?" I asked laughing as Kilana rubbed her nose. "Yeah but I never hit anyone." She said pushing her son in the other direction as we made another left turn so he wouldn't hit her again. I took a pencil from the small clip on the top of my drawing pad and started to sketch another picture. It was little Jake leaning to one side and his mom rubbing her nose and me well drawing. In the background out the back window their was a turn to signal why it happened. Jake grabbed the paper from my hands to examine it. "it' me!" He said handing it back to me. "Yep it's you." I said setting the paper next to me by the door. Jake calmed down and settled in. Only about 2 minutes after he was so excited he said "I'm bored are we there yet?" And laughing Kilana said 'Now that sounds like you Kiki." It was true on every trip when we were little I always asked Are we there yet or said I'm bored usually just to annoy my parents."Yeah he's more like me than you." I said laughing a little
as well. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asked confused. "He asks are we their yet?, instead of, can I drive?" After I said this Jake leaned forward as much as the seatbelt would let him and asked James "Can I drive?"James replied..."No not now when we get to the hotel and we get parked you can.""Okay." He said sitting back again. "Nevermind." I said taking in what was just said. James popped in a Green Day Cd once again American Idiot. "We should catch up on their music if we're going to see them." He said going back to the road. Jake liked the music though he had no idea what was being said but that was okay. Jake was only 5 and we didn't need him repeating everything said in the songs at his age.
After the next hour we arrived at the hotel after we parked little Jake unbuckled his seat belt and climbed up to the front seat. "Now can I drive uncle James huh, huh?!?" He asked tugging on Jame's sleeve. He put the keys in his pocket and climbed out of the car. "Now you can drive." he said. We watched Jake climb into the driver's seat and start turning the wheel making car noises as well. Remind me never to be the one to teach him to drive." I said climbing out of the car. It was so funny having Jake pretend to drive. From outside the car you couldn't even see him through the window he was so short every now and then you could see his short black hair over the edge of the window. Kilana opened the door opened the door and pulled him out of the car." Help my mommy is stealing my car!" the little boy giggled as Kilana sat him down on the pavement and handed him his own suitcase which he had filled with toys a toothbrush,toothpaste, a small bag of chips, and a blanket. He was set. We carried our bags into the lobby where we checked in."James you have a seperate room it is next door to ours here is your key." I said handing him a card which had his room number on it. We are on the 3rd floor. I picked my bags well bag up off the floor and we carried them up the stairs. I opened the door and immediatly Jake ran into the room and jumped onto the bed. "I get this one!" He shouted laughing. "Nope sorry unless you wanna sleep on the couch you have to share with your mom." Kilana said setting her and Jake's suitcase down on the bed. "Ooh okay." He groaned un zipping his suitcase and pulling out his blanket and throwing it on t he couch. "No you're sleeping in the bed." She said getting the blanket and throwing it back at her son who tried to catch it but tangled himself up in the process. I pulled some things out of my bags which included my toothbrush, art pad, my posters which I would be hanging up since we would be here nearly a month. "Ooo what's this?" Jake said grabbing one of my Green Day posters and studying it like he had my drawings. "Is this those peoples who was in the pictures you made? Do you like them? Do you know them>Did you go to school with them?Will I meet them?can I see them?Where are they?..."He threw the picture on the bed and started bouncing around. "Umm...well no I don't know them really they make music i like and no I never knew them and no you most likely won't meet them." I said keeping my eye on the hyperactive child. "See what long trips do to him?" Kilana said unfolding some clothes and putting them on hangers to put in the closet. "Well that trip wasn't all that long.""It was to him." She said now pulling out Jake's clothes. "Did you ever finish your outfit?" She asked taking a pause in what she was doing."Yeah I did but there is one thing I need at the store then it will be complete.
That night was quiet compared to the morning. Jake sat on the couch drawing pictures on some paper I had ripped from my book. The only light was that of the TV and the table light that Jake was using. My best friend sat next to him reading her book and I sat on the other side of him showing him how to spell stuff and helping him draw some things he couldn't. In the end he had drawn him his mom and me all holding hands. His picture said 'My Happy Family' across the top. He didn't start school till September so we were left trying to teach him as much as possible before so he would do better. He still had trouble writing letters but he could spell simple words already like dog or cat. I even tought him how to spell Green Day. He showed his mom his picture. I found a piece of construction paper in my bag and some glue. I pasted the paper to the blue paper and on the back wrote By:Jake 5/26/05. In took a pin and hung it on the wall above his bed like I had done with mine. It was now 8:00 though so Kilana helped him pull on his pajamas and tucked him in. We were left alone in the quiet room. James had fallen asleep hours ago in his room so I didn't want to disturb him.
I fell asleep an hour later awaiting the sunrise and a new day.
Okay let me explain...My name is Kikiranali (-kee-kee-ree-nal-lee-)(try saying that ten times fast.) Yeah I guess you can just call me Kiki. I live in Florida in a small town (if that is really possible.) I am in such a rush today because in two weeks there is a huge Green Day concert and I got tickets. I couldn't find a good outfit though so I am making my own GD clothes. Can you tell I'm excited? I have just started getting the supplies though and I took a vacation from work at McDonalds. I know sucky place to work but I haven't really found a good job yet. I havn't really had time to do much but now I did. The concert would be in the city which is about a 2 hour drive so I would need a hotel to stay at.
I picked up peices of cloth and some thread and sewed till my hands were sore. I know such a girly hobby sewing but ever since I was 15 I made all my clothes well until I graduated from school 3 years ago now I havn't had time to. I started cutting at red cloth until the words Green Day formed in a strip of cloth. These would be the straps to my shirt later on. I took some black cloth and pulled it together for a skirt and jeans. I stopped around 11:00 and put everything back in the bag putting it away for tomarrow.
The next day I didn't work on it at all. I went to the store to stock up on food for the next few days before I took my trip to the city. Today the sun was warm beating down on my head. Little kids were out in the street kicking a ball around on the pavement before a car came and they raan off to the side of the road. Amongst the group of kids I spotted my cousin Katrina with her normal beaming face. She wore a pink dress and sneakers her short blonde hair up in pig tails. She ran over and gave me a hug before running back to play with the others. I spotted Jake as well running around trying to get near the ball. Jake was the child of my best friend Kilana. She lived about 3 streets away. I walked home carrying three bags of food and other supplies.
I set the bags down on the kitchen table and went into the living room and took a seat on the couch. I grabbed my headset off of the bedside table and put in my 'American Idiot' CD. I putit on Jesus of Suburbia and sat back listening to the music singing the words as I slowly drifted off to sleep."I'm the son of rage and love, the jesus of suburbia the bible of none of the above on a steady diet of, soda pop and ritalin, no one ever died for my sins in hell as far as I can tell these are ones I've gotten away with..." I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
I woke up only about 15 minutes later to a knock on my door. When I opened it up in walked little Jake and Katrina. Jake had a small scrape on his knee which was a light redish color. "My mommy is home aunt Kiki and I falled down." He said sitting down on the rug and rubbing his sore knee."Okay then come on." I said picking up the little boy and taking him into the bathroom. I rinsed the scrape with warm water and put a glow in the dark band-aid on his knee. Katrina stood in the door waiting for her friend to come. Even if she was 3 years older than him. He got off the counter and I watched the two run back outside to join the others once again in the street. I went ack out to the couch and went back asleep now listening to 'Wake Me Up When September Ends'.
This next time I woke up it was around 4:00. I got off the couch and stretched. I went upstairs and once again pulled out the bag of cloth. The kids in the street were gone except little Jake who was with his mom getting in the car. I looked out the window and watched him show my best friend his bandage. He cupped his hands around his knee to block the sun and make it glow. Kilana scooped the little boy up in her arms and put him in the car and they drove off down the road.
I sat on the soft carpet and looked through at what still needed to be done at my outfit. I still needed to get the shirt together and the pants, socks, and a little on the skirt. Everything else was done. I looked around the room. My bed was a little messy and my Green Day posters seemed to stare down at me from the walls and ceiling. A picture of Tre seemed to be the weirdest one just the expression on his face seemed creepy. It seemed no matter where you sttod in the room the eyes always looked at you and in the poster Tre looked kinda devilish and sorry but it really freaks me out. I had that poster for years now. When Kilana spent the night at my house before I moved here that poster hung over my bed and we had to hang a blanket like thing from the ceiling so it wouldn't scare her at night.
I had many pics and posters and drawings of them on my wall. My favorite drawing I did in highschool of them at one of their concerts. Tre was standing at his drum set banging away partly jumping in the air, Mike in his usual stance playing the bass and Billie Joe singing into the microphone his guitar hanging from his shoulder. A huge sign in the background said Green Day in bold letters and Green and Red lights shinig down on them. I mean well the pic didn't really look like a picture taken but it was pretty good. It looked so much like them as Kilana said to me when she first saw it. That picture hung now right above my bed frame where I could almost always see it. I also had a nice pic that was taken by a kid from school who gave it to me for my collection. I looked back at my clothes. I held the shirt front up to my chest. Perfect fit... so far...I didn't feel like working on this suddenly. I left everything scattered on the floor and sat down on my bed. I took my drawing pad off of my bedside table and started to sketch the outline of a person then added detail and four more people. I drew Me, Kilana, little Jake, Katrina and my boyfriend James who now lived on the other side of town. We were both always so busy I never really get to talk to him but he was the one who got me these tickets. It was for my birthday a couple weeks ago. I flipped the page up on my small sketch book to see three tickets to the Green Day concert. One for me,the others for Kilana and James. Jake would be at the hotel sleeping while we were at the concert. He pretty much is always sleeping by 7:00 so no problem. We would get back before anyone knew he was gone. I flipped the page back over and finished the picture I drew Green Day in the background playing a song. Over the top I wrote 'The perfect family' though it wasn't I could feel the bond between me and James slowly slipping away and my friend who had a child now and lived alone the father (Mark) left her right after the baby was born. I looked at the picture wishing everything would be okay. I turned to another page where I had drawn aa picture of me and Kilana at the beach right before she had her baby. Things were so great back then now I felt alone. I was still friends with her but she never really had time away from Jake no time to just hang out with me like before. On another page was a silly picture I drew when Mark left her. It had me Jake and Kilana together. little Jake held a knife in his hand and I had a gun in mine. Kilana held Jake in her arms. Mark sat on the floor holding his arm bleeding and crying and at the top I wrote 'Get Lost' when I drew that I was just so pissed at him for leaving. She stayed at my house for weeks till she was able to handle her life without the father. I hope I never see his face again. I set the art pad back on the table and resorted to looking up at the ceiling daydreaming till the sun set and I fell back asleep.
Three days later I was packed and ready to go. James had his car in the driveway. Jake and Kilana were in the car waiting. James helped me lug my suitcase into the trunk of the car. When everyone was ready we drove off. After about an hour of driving and after we made a stop for lunch and bathroom brakes I pulled my drawing pad back out and started looking through all I had done. I showed little Jake my perfect family picture he didn't know who Green Day was but he recognized himself and the rest of us. "You still got that drawing book I gave you." James said trying to keep his eyes on the road. "Yeah why wouldn't I?" I asked closing the book on Jake who was trying to flip to the next page with the picture where we had tried to murder his father. I didn't want him to see it of course. "Well I had figured it would be full by now I see you drawing in it all the time when I come over." He said making a left turn. Jake being the funny little boy he was leaned to over exagerate the turn. "Weeeeee!" he shouted throwing his arms up like he was on a rollar coaster but accidentally hitting his mom in the nose. "Remember when we used to do that?" I asked laughing as Kilana rubbed her nose. "Yeah but I never hit anyone." She said pushing her son in the other direction as we made another left turn so he wouldn't hit her again. I took a pencil from the small clip on the top of my drawing pad and started to sketch another picture. It was little Jake leaning to one side and his mom rubbing her nose and me well drawing. In the background out the back window their was a turn to signal why it happened. Jake grabbed the paper from my hands to examine it. "it' me!" He said handing it back to me. "Yep it's you." I said setting the paper next to me by the door. Jake calmed down and settled in. Only about 2 minutes after he was so excited he said "I'm bored are we there yet?" And laughing Kilana said 'Now that sounds like you Kiki." It was true on every trip when we were little I always asked Are we there yet or said I'm bored usually just to annoy my parents."Yeah he's more like me than you." I said laughing a little
as well. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asked confused. "He asks are we their yet?, instead of, can I drive?" After I said this Jake leaned forward as much as the seatbelt would let him and asked James "Can I drive?"James replied..."No not now when we get to the hotel and we get parked you can.""Okay." He said sitting back again. "Nevermind." I said taking in what was just said. James popped in a Green Day Cd once again American Idiot. "We should catch up on their music if we're going to see them." He said going back to the road. Jake liked the music though he had no idea what was being said but that was okay. Jake was only 5 and we didn't need him repeating everything said in the songs at his age.
After the next hour we arrived at the hotel after we parked little Jake unbuckled his seat belt and climbed up to the front seat. "Now can I drive uncle James huh, huh?!?" He asked tugging on Jame's sleeve. He put the keys in his pocket and climbed out of the car. "Now you can drive." he said. We watched Jake climb into the driver's seat and start turning the wheel making car noises as well. Remind me never to be the one to teach him to drive." I said climbing out of the car. It was so funny having Jake pretend to drive. From outside the car you couldn't even see him through the window he was so short every now and then you could see his short black hair over the edge of the window. Kilana opened the door opened the door and pulled him out of the car." Help my mommy is stealing my car!" the little boy giggled as Kilana sat him down on the pavement and handed him his own suitcase which he had filled with toys a toothbrush,toothpaste, a small bag of chips, and a blanket. He was set. We carried our bags into the lobby where we checked in."James you have a seperate room it is next door to ours here is your key." I said handing him a card which had his room number on it. We are on the 3rd floor. I picked my bags well bag up off the floor and we carried them up the stairs. I opened the door and immediatly Jake ran into the room and jumped onto the bed. "I get this one!" He shouted laughing. "Nope sorry unless you wanna sleep on the couch you have to share with your mom." Kilana said setting her and Jake's suitcase down on the bed. "Ooh okay." He groaned un zipping his suitcase and pulling out his blanket and throwing it on t he couch. "No you're sleeping in the bed." She said getting the blanket and throwing it back at her son who tried to catch it but tangled himself up in the process. I pulled some things out of my bags which included my toothbrush, art pad, my posters which I would be hanging up since we would be here nearly a month. "Ooo what's this?" Jake said grabbing one of my Green Day posters and studying it like he had my drawings. "Is this those peoples who was in the pictures you made? Do you like them? Do you know them>Did you go to school with them?Will I meet them?can I see them?Where are they?..."He threw the picture on the bed and started bouncing around. "Umm...well no I don't know them really they make music i like and no I never knew them and no you most likely won't meet them." I said keeping my eye on the hyperactive child. "See what long trips do to him?" Kilana said unfolding some clothes and putting them on hangers to put in the closet. "Well that trip wasn't all that long.""It was to him." She said now pulling out Jake's clothes. "Did you ever finish your outfit?" She asked taking a pause in what she was doing."Yeah I did but there is one thing I need at the store then it will be complete.
That night was quiet compared to the morning. Jake sat on the couch drawing pictures on some paper I had ripped from my book. The only light was that of the TV and the table light that Jake was using. My best friend sat next to him reading her book and I sat on the other side of him showing him how to spell stuff and helping him draw some things he couldn't. In the end he had drawn him his mom and me all holding hands. His picture said 'My Happy Family' across the top. He didn't start school till September so we were left trying to teach him as much as possible before so he would do better. He still had trouble writing letters but he could spell simple words already like dog or cat. I even tought him how to spell Green Day. He showed his mom his picture. I found a piece of construction paper in my bag and some glue. I pasted the paper to the blue paper and on the back wrote By:Jake 5/26/05. In took a pin and hung it on the wall above his bed like I had done with mine. It was now 8:00 though so Kilana helped him pull on his pajamas and tucked him in. We were left alone in the quiet room. James had fallen asleep hours ago in his room so I didn't want to disturb him.
I fell asleep an hour later awaiting the sunrise and a new day.
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