Why Does It Always Rain On Me?, chapter 4

I walked in my house surprisingly not to be smacked down on the floor for once. I looked around the whole house to see it was empty for once.

There was a note on the fridge that read:

I'm sorry for all the crap I put you threw Lynn.
I'm leaving you behind now and I'm not coming back.
Take care. I left you some money. You won't need it though.
I'm really sorry for what I have done to you.
I know you will never forgive me.
Bye MOTHER

In that moment of shock I didn't realize I was having a panic attack or going crazy at all until I felt someone shaking me and yelling my name.

"Lynn! Lynn! Snap out of it!" It was Billie, he was trying to stop me from going INTO a panic attack. I wasn't having a panic attack yet, thank god.

Finally I had stop and saw who it was that was shaking me. When I saw Billie I started to cry and fell into his arms. He gladly excepted me into his arms hoping to comfort me.

I had no idea that I really did care about my mother that much. Especially after all the crap she did to me.

I lay in Billie's arms until I finally calmed down and sat up.

"Why are you here?" I asked him rubbing my eye's that were now smeared in eyeliner and mascara.
"I was going to leave... but then I thought I'd better come in and make sure your mom wasn't drunk... y'know what I use to do." He said getting up then helping me up.
"Well... she's gone now and so you don't have to worry about her any more." I said bending down and showing him the letter.

After he read it he hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry Lynn."

"It's okay... I mean I would always crashed out at Mona's but tonight I think I'll stay here and go to her house in the morning." I said pulling away.
"Should I stay here with you?" Billie asked with pleading eyes that I'd say yes.

I shook my head 'no' while saying, "won't Adrienne miss you?"

"Well... yeah... sort of I guess... but you're my best friend and you need some one with you right now." He replied.

"No... I think you should just go home. It's not that far from here... only what... a couple hours?" he just nodded. "Sorry, but I just don't want charity."

"It's not charity Lynn. It's a friend helping out another friend. Plus we could catch up with each other."

"We already did that. You and Mike basically know everything about me now."

"But... " He paused and sighed, "never mind, I'll just go now then."

"Okay" I said and hugged him one last time. Then he walked out the door and into his car. I watched him threw the living room window.

I saw him sit in his car for a second then bang his head on the steering wheel and I could see him mouth 'fuck' and then he drove off.

I felt kind of bad rejecting Billie like that, because he is my best friend and everything. But if he did still like me the way he said, I didn't want him to stay with me, because I was completely over him and had moved on. Plus he was getting married to a prettier girl... Adrienne.

I fell asleep thinking of how I broke up with him...

High School 1989

The four of us where sitting at our usual lunch table way in the back where we could be invisible from every body.

Billie had his arm around my waist while I had my head on his shoulder. Mike and Mona were sitting on the other side of the table facing us.

"Hey guess what?" Mike said.

"What?" the three of us asked.

"We're leaving to go on tour!" Mike said starting to bounce up and down.

"Really!?" I asked surprised Billie didn't tell me before.

"Yep... isn't that right Bill." Mike said looking over to him.

"Yeah it's going to be awesome. I can't wait!" Billie said letting go of me and bouncing to.

"When are you guys leaving?" Mona asked what I was thinking.

"In a couple of days." Billie said looking over to me.

"Really?" I asked kind of disappointed, he just nodded, "how long are you guys going to be gone?"

Billie and Mike looked at each other then Mike finally said, "three months I think."

"Yeah three months... that's why I'm dropping out of high school." Billie said proudly.

"You are?" Mona and I asked at the same time, after we did that we glared at each other then went back to Billie.

"Yeah with our band finally going, I was thinking that I really don't need to go to high school because it never really did anything for me any way." Billie replied.

"Good plan" I said.

The lunch bell rang and lucky we all had the same classes the last ours of school. So of course we ditched and headed over to Christie until we felt it was safe to walk home.

Three months later

Mona and I were standing in our usual spots at the record store staring at The Ramones vinyl's and many others, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw these green eyes staring back at me.

"Your back!" I said jumping into his open arms and kissing him, "I missed you!"

"Me too" Billie said with a smile on his face.

Mona had walked outside to see Mike.

"Come on, let's get out of here" Billie said with the biggest grin on his face. I smiled and nodded while he dragged me out of the store and we waved to Mike and Mona.

"So how was the tour?" I asked him not being able to wipe the smile off my face since I saw him.

"It was so awesome, our new drummer Tre is a crazy person which made it a lot of fun." Billie said holding my hand while walking to his house.

"That's cool, I wish I could have seen your show down in L.A. but Mona and I couldn't go because of finals." I said.

"That sucks" Billie said opening the door to his house.

When we walked in I saw a girl sitting on some bags and crying. I looked at Billie and saw that he was shocked to see her. Surely he's seen this girl before but I didn't know where.

"Billie!? Oh thank god!" the girl with the dread locks looking like your average punk girl ran over to him and hugged him. Obliviously Billie was uncomfortable with this considering the look he had on his face.

"What's happened? And how did you get in my house?" Billie asked.

"Your mom let me in and... " she stopped and looked at me.

"Oh uh... Adrienne this is Lynn." Billie said in an uncomfortable voice.

"Hi... I'm Adrienne but you can call me Adie." Adrienne said smiling at me still not letting go of Billie. I just stood there wondering how Billie knew this girl. He probably met her while they were on tour and... NO he wouldn't do that to me... would he?


By the looks of this girl I bet he would. I mean she was very pretty looking. Prettier then me I bet.

Billie knew what was going threw my mind at that moment and had a I'm-sorry look on his face.

"I-I... " I couldn't speak... my eyes were filling up with tears and I felt like I been stabbed a million times over and over again.

Adie finally let go of Billie and said, "I'm sorry Lynn... I'm... really sorry."

Billie looked hurt but not as hurt as I was. I ran out of there as fast as I could, with warm tears of hatred and pain rolling down my cheeks.

When I got to my house I felt sick to my stomach and couldn't breathe. I was having another panic attack.

I fell to the ground and started breathing heavily and screaming from the pain I felt.

"Lynn!" I heard someone say and running over to me. Still I couldn't control myself from what was happening.

"Calm down breathe... and count from 10 down." It was Billie I knew his voice. I nodded and started counting.

"10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... " I sighed from relief then jumped out of his arms and stood back up. He tried hugging me but I pushed him away from me.

"Lynn I'm sorry... I thought that was just a one night thing... I didn't expect her to listen to me" He tried pleading for my forgiveness.

"NO! BILLIE GET AWAY FROM ME! I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" I said about to start crying again.

"I do... I do" he said walking closer to me with tears forming in his eye's now.

"I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I said shaking my head. "I LOVED YOU! I REALLY DID! BUT NOW LOOK! I-I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THAT TO ME."

I calmed down and sighed.

He stood there shaking his head, "Lynn I-I I'm sorry, I can't let you go."

"It's to late for that don't you think!? Just go back to Adrienne... she seems like a nice girl, pretty too." I said starting to walk up to my house then I turned around. "Oh and Armstrong?"

Billie looked more hurt when I called him by his last name. "What?" he asked tears still coming down his face.

"Stay the hell away from me and do your self a favour marry this girl. Don't break her heart like you just broke mine." Then I walked in my house and leaned against the door crying.

BEEP... BEEP... BEEP... BEEP!

I sat straight up and looked around, to find that I was in my bed.

"Hey" I turned my head and saw the one and only. Billie Joe...