She's A Rebel, chapter 10

Laurie took her books to her locker, trying to kill as much time as possible. She was nervous. She had no idea what she was gonig to say to Billie Joe. What could she say after she broke up with him the previous day? After five minutes, she decided it was time.

Slowly, she pushed the cafeteria doors opens, allowing her to enter the room crowded of high schoolers. The scent of burnt potatoes and sour meat filled the air around her. Taking a deep breath, she searched for Billie Joe. Of course, he was sitting at "their spot". Laurie smiled to herself and walked towards him. As soon as he saw her, Billie Joe smiled too.

"Hi," Laurie said quietly.

"I almost thought you were going to bail," was all Billie Joe said.

"I would never do that, Billie Joe."

"Well, here," he motioned to the seat across from him, "Sit." Laurie obeyed and sat.

Lauire sighed, thinking of how to put her jumbled words into sentences. "I'm sorry."

Billie Joe leaned back on his seat, confindent he wasn't going to fall, "Why, Lauire?"

"I don't know," she tried not to make eye contact. "I just think that being apart from each other would separate us."

He didn't buy it all, "There's more you're not telling me, isn't there?" Her silence answered it all.

"Laurie, would you please talk to me? For the past few days, you haven't been yourself. It's like, we're more distant than ever."

She felt a single tear roll down her cheek. She was afraid. She was afraid of telling Billie Joe the harm Jimmy did to himself because of her. She was afraid of telling him she may still have feelings for Jimmy. She was afriad to tell him she was leaving tomorrow, too.

Billie Joe saw the tear fall. He brought his hand to her cheek, wiping the salty water from her milk white skin. "Laurie, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry, Billie Joe. I'm really sorry. I never meant to do this to you. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant any of it."

"It's okay, Laurie. But, the more you keep distant from me, the more it hurts me. I just want you to know I'm always here for you."

Lauire looked at her hands, "Jimmy."

"Jimmy? What about him?"

She was about to choke of her words. She could tell. "He..he.."

"He..?" Billie Joe couldn't take this suspence.

"He's hurt."

"Hurt like how? Did someone hurt him?" She nodded.

Laurie lifted her head up to show her bloodshot eyes and bleeding mascara. "He hurt himself, Billie Joe. He did, because of me."

Billie Joe was dumbstruck. He didn't know what to think. "But, why because of you?"

"Because, Billie Joe!" she exclaimed, not cared if she was beginning to cause a scene. Ever since she met Billie Joe, she learned not to care what people thought of her anymore. "He said he needs me, that he can't live without me. I made him promiose he wouldn't anymore, but promises are nothing compared to actions. It hurt me to see him like that. It almost killed me inside to see that. He was my first love, and I saw him harming himself; all because of me!"

"Laurie, it's not your fault. It's his. He decided to do it to himself, not you. Don't let that get to you."

"It's kinda hard not to Billie Joe," she said coldly. "I love him."

"What?" That was it. That remark went through his heart like a knife.

"I thought I didn't, Billie Joe. But I do. I'm sorry."

"So, when you said you didn't love me, you didn't mean it?"

"I did, Billie Joe! I really did!" More tears were forming in the creases of her eyes.

"So that's why you broke up with me; because of him?"

"You wouldn't understand.."

"Well make me understand, Laurie. I want to."

She shook her head and stood up. "I can't put it into words. It's complicated and difficult. Maybe one day, it'll be easier to explain to you. I have to go to my next class. Bye."

And with that, she was gone again. That whole day Billie Joe waited for what ended with her leaving, again. All his emotions were circling him. He didn't know if he wanted to scream, or cry. He did know one thing, he couldn't take being in school anymore. Billie Joe stood up. And without thinking, he just walked out of school. He didn't care if he was going to get in trouble; he just wanted to leave. He wanted to leave school, leave life, leave the world behind.

Billie Joe chuckled to himself. "Stupid school didn't even know I left."

The crisp air led chills down Billie Joe's spine. He crossed his arms, hoping for a bit of warmth. Fall was about to end, welcoming winter into the California area. Snow didn't regulary enter his area, but sometimes it did. And when it did, it was a hell of cold. Billie Joe took a guess snow was most likely coming.

Billie Joe stopped at the train tracks, his favorite place in his small town. They were abandoned, so he could sit on them with no fear of trains coming. No one ever came there either, so he was time to himself. This one of the main places he came write. It came him some sort of inspiration and motivation to continue with his dream.

All Billie Joe wanted to do was make music. Not for fame or money, just for people to hear his perspective of music. He wanted everyone to hear what he has been through, putting it into a melodic song. Even if he was a successful underground band, he was happy. He didn't care. All he knew was that school wasn't going to get him anywhere; his music was.

Luckily, Billie Joe carried a notebook whereever he went, incase he got an idea for a song. And today, he had a bunch of ideas.

He opened up his beat up booklet to a clean page. He didn't know where to start, so many words were going through his head. So, not knowing where to begin, he just wrote.

"Seventeen and strung out on confusion.
Now mom and dad will never understand.
Secrets collecting dust.
Skeletons in my closet.
I found out what it takes to be a man."

Billie Joe stopped, coming to the conclusion that wasn't finished. There was much more to that song, but he couldn't piece it together. He looked up at the sky, realizing he had to have been there for over a couple hours. The sky was pitch black, and his mom was probally worried. He picked himself up and headed home.

Coming home, he saw Brad's car in the driveway. Billie Joe flinched; he hated Brad. Ever since his mom met Brad, his life has been a living hell. Brad does whatever he can to make his life miserable. And, since Billie Joe was the youngest and everyone else was away at college, he was stuck with all Brad's shit.

Openeing the door, he smelled the distinct odor of alcohol. "Where the fuck have you been?"

Billie Joe jumped and saw Brad behind the door. He was drunk, he smelled and looked like he was. "I..was..out."

Brad smirked, "Wrong answer." He gave a full hit to the side of Billie Joe's head, sending him across the floor.

Brad walked slowly over to him, "I got a call today. The school said you weren't in you classes after lunch. They asked if I knew where you were. And guess what? I didn't. Little fucker. Thinking you're so tough that you don't need school. Think you're too cool for school, don't you?" Another hit, this time a kick in the stomach, sent by Brad's foot. Billie Joe tried to looked brave, but he couldn't. Nothing was going good for him today.

"Get up, you little shit," Brad said coldly. Billie Joe obeyed. "You make me sick."

Billie Joe stood there, absorbing all of Brad's verbal and physical abuse. After about twenty minutes, Brad let him go, sending him to his room.

When Billie Joe got to his room, he didn't care what people thought, he cried. He cried for what felt like hours. He lost his girlfriend, who is also moving so he'll never see her. His stepdad is a dick, and his mom doesn't do anything. He didn't even know if his mom was in the house when that was all going on.

Probably at her fucking job. he thought to himself.

Billie Joe began crying harder and longer. He came to the decision his life was the worst it could get for anyone. He cried himself to sleep that night.