The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth, chapter 7
*Joe's POV*
Once Sadie and I had arrived at the drugstore, we stepped out of the car and walked inside. I held Sadie's hand while we went inside. We are what Sadie's Dad calls, 'Touchy Feely and Weird.' So what if we hold hands a lot. Even when we're sleeping. That's not weird right?
We made our way inside and went over to the aisle with lotions and whatnot. Sadie looked around for SPF 25, while I noticed someone behind us. I turned around, and a guy around 30 years old was behind us with a camera and a tape recorder.
"Uh, can I help you?" I asked him as he snapped a photo. I didn't mind paparazzi, but there was a time and a place. Now wasn't a good time. I was tired.
"Yes, is it true that you and Sadie are expecting a child?" He asked.
Oh shit. Word must have gotten out. Sadie didn't feel like being on the cover of all the tabloids. Once, Sadie and I had an argument on out back porch, and someone snapped photos. The photos were plastered everywhere. The fight wasn't even that big. The magazines made it look big though. There were headlines saying that it was over between us. My mom even called us asking if everything was okay.
"Who claimed we were?" I asked. Sadie turned around and faced the man behind us. She sighed, but put on her game face.
"Word has leaked out from unmentionable sources that you are expecting in April. Is this true? Do you have any comments?" Said the man, turning his tape recorder on.
"No, we have no comments. Have a good day," said Sadie, picking up a bottle of sunscreen, and a tub of her favourite vanilla body butter.
We went over to the cashier and Sadie paid for her lotions. We went out before someone else could come after us. As we walked out there were already a couple people around us with cameras. Sadie and I just kept our mouths shut and slid into the jaguar. We drove away, breathing a sigh of relief.
"So who do you think said something?" I asked.
"Wow uh, I really don't know. Someone at the wedding may have overheard. Or maybe Joanie told another person. I don't really care though. The public will find out for sure eventually."
"Yeah. You're right."
We continued to drive as the Who's 'Teenage Wasteland' played. After an approximate 10 minutes I spoke up again as we got closer to the electronics store where we got our last camera.
"Why don't we just tell them that we're expecting now? I mean, we can just get it over with I guess."
"The later we tell them the better," Said answered. "The later we tell them, the less they'll stalk us. If we tell them earlier on they'll swarm us now, and for the next the next year. Well, that's just what I think. I mean, you remember that time someone snapped photos of us having a minor argument, and we were stalked so much that we hid out of the public eye for two weeks, and that ended up in accusations that we had broken up. Those photographers are sick minded, and it's best if we avoid them at all costs for now."
Damn she's intelligent. That never occurred to me. Well, like she said before. They'll know eventually.
***
*Sadie's POV*
I sat in my seat next to the window, holding Joe's hand. He wasn't exactly fond of planes. I loved planes. I always watched out the window as the plane lifted off.
And that time was now. I was watching the ground get farther and farther away. I always found this so entertaining. I glanced over at Joe, who had his eyes closed and his head on my shoulder. He definitely wasn't asleep. He was just trying to tune out everything around him. There was no way he could fall asleep during liftoff. He always falls asleep while we're in midair though. It's kind of funny how he always gets scared. I know that sounds mean though...
"You okay Joe?" I asked, trying not to laugh. I never really understood what was so scary about planes. More people die in car crashes than in plane crashes. More people die from getting hit in the head with a coconut than in plane crashes. That's an actual fact y'know.
"Yeah yeah I'm fine I'm fine I'm calm I'm just resting I'm okay." He said quickly.
"Alright. It won't be long till the plane reaches the right height and straightens its path and stuff. It only takes a couple minutes. Don't worry."
"Yeah I know it only takes a minute. What why would I worry I'm fine I just don't like planes I'm not worrying I'm not I mean it."
"Okay Joe you're not worrying."
"I'm not."
"Okay."
Joe sighed and pulled up his blanket. Yes, Joe brings his cashmere blankie with him on planes. He also brings his memory foam pillow, sleeping mask and his stress ball. Only on planes have I ever seen him get so nervous. Man, I can only imagine what it'll be like in the delivery room when our kids are being born. Yeesh. He'd probably faint.
As I had said before, the plane evened out, and the flight attendants told us that we could now turn our electronics on, and unbuckle our seatbelts. Joe straightened up and pulled out his notepad, as I got my laptop out. I was seriously bored already, so I just signed on to myspace. Myspace rocks, cuz I can just announce stuff there. I don't need to set up a press conference or whatever like most celebrities do. Wait, ew! I just referred to myself as a celebrity. I much rather like to call myself a 'favoured personality.'
I started a new journal entry and started to type. I always liked reading the comments people had. The people who comment think I'm too busy to read them, which isn't the case. I'm not saying I'm not busy; I just like wasting time on the computer. Plus, I love hearing what people have to say about what I do and what they like. Their opinions give me ideas for stuff. Like, what they like about my previous lines, and what they hate. I post pictures of my line after a show so people who didn't go can see, and I usually get some good feedback.
'Hey earthlings,
I'm on a plane to a little secret hideout with dear old Joe. He's not a plane person. I have a few photos of stuff from my new line if you guys haven't seen them yet. I posted them around 3 days ago. Well, that's all I have to report for now. Wait... actually that's a lie. I also had a photo shoot for my new line, and I had an interview with Vogue. The issue will be out in late November or early December. Well, s'all for now! Ciao earthlings.
-Sadie W
PS: I've been taking note of some of your comments for my next season. Fewer rhinestones, more leather. Gotcha.'
I submitted the entry, and then turned my computer off because the flight attendant was taking drink orders.
"Can I get you anything to drink, or anything from the duty free catalogue?" The woman asked, holding firmly onto the drink cart.
Joe thought about it for a second, and then made up his mind.
"I'll have a glass of Clamato and a tub of jelly beans."
"Alright sir. And for you miss?"
"Uh, I'll have an orange juice please. See Joe? I say please." I joked, poking Joe in the arm, causing Joe and the flight attendant to laugh.
The flight attendant poured our drinks and set them on the little table thingies in front of us, and grabbed a tub of jellybeans for Joe.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Would you each like a pair of headphones to watch the flight movie? Our feature films tonight are Harry Potter 8, Confessions of the Sisterhood of the Drama Queens, and Harvey the Wonderbug."
Wow. Now don't those just sound dandy. Well, I have nothing against Harry P, but seriously. Eight? I think it's time to find a new idea for a movie Spielberg. I mean it.
"Um... no thanks. I'm sleeping through this flight." I said. Joe nodded in agreement. It was a night flight, and we would be landing in some city in Greece at 6:30 am. Then we would take a boat ride to Santorini, find our hotel, etcetera.
"Alright. Just holler if you need anything. Well, don't holler but, you know what I mean." The flight attendant said.
"Okay." I said, as Joe and I reclined our seats simultaneously. Joe pulled up his blanket and rested his head on his little pillow. I laughed to myself, causing Joe to look at me with a 'What's so funny?' message coming across quite clearly. I rolled my eyes, still laughing, and turned over so I could watch outside. Flying at night is so neat. The lights in the plane dimmed, and everyone who was reading turned their book lights on. I looked at all the lights below the airplane, and eventually drifted of to sleep.
***
When I woke up, it was 4:00. I had been asleep for a long time. I looked over at Joe, who was picking away at the jellybeans he had bought before. He noticed I was up, and explained what he was doing.
"I only like some of the jellybeans. They're those gourmet ones. The ones I don't like, I put back in the can. The ones that taste like fruit, I put in my empty drink cup. The ones that are sweet like chocolate or coconut, I put in my pile."
"Joe...may I ask why?"
"Well I'm kind of bored. I couldn't sleep, so I had some coffee, and I ate my beans. But I didn't like it when I ate a fruit one, then a sweet one, and then a gross one. Cuz then all the flavors left over in my mouth would be a gross mix."
"Joe?"
"Yup?"
"How long have you been trying to occupy yourself exactly?"
"Well, I don't really know precisely how long. Around 45 minutes after you fell asleep, and I realized I couldn't sleep on the plane because I was flying tens of thousands of feet above the ground, I decided to get headphones and watch Confessions of the Sisterhood of the Drama Queens, which I think I've seen before. I had a couple cups of coffee, did a celebrity crossword, played a game of Sudoku, and... I cheated when I played that. I'm not very good at it. Then I opened my tub of jellybeans. I ate some, and then I put a hole bunch in my mouth, and they were different flavors, and-"
"Joe...I told you to bring a book incase you got bored."
"I don't like reading."
"But you like cheating at Sudoku and sorting novelty candies?"
Joe was silent for a second, and then answered.
"Not really. I just don't like gross aftertastes. Thus, I'm saving myself the trouble by sorting my beans."
"Sorting your beans?"
"Yeah I...wait was that supposed to sound like an implication of something sexual?"
"Maybe."
Joe looked behind his seat at the couple behind us, who looked absolutely bewildered. They quickly looked away to make it look like they weren't listening to our conversation.
Joe looked back at me and stifled a laugh. I bit my finger, trying not to make noise since people were sleeping around us.
"We aren't weird, are we Sadie?" Joe asked me.
"Us? Weird? Absolutely."
The next couple hours practically flew by, since Joe and I had ordered loads of drinks. We were kind of high on orange juice, so to say. Joe and I were giggling in our seats, amused by all the really sophisticated, plain people sitting in their seats with totally straight faces. Ah, the joys of flying in first class. There were always a couple people there with sticks up their asses.
"Ladies and Gentleman, please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts as we are preparing to land. We may experience some turbulence so please stay calm."
Joe turned to me worriedly.
"Turbulence? I don't know what that means what does it mean?"
"It just means that we're gonna hit some wind or something, and the plane will bounce a bit and stuff. It's no biggie. We'll land just fine Joe."
"Are you sure?"
"Joe I've been on a plane before and there's been some crazy turbulence. Everyone was fine."
"O-Okay. So I shouldn't worry?"
"Right."
BUMP.
Joe jumped in his seat and bit his lip.
BUMP.
He turned to me nervously.
"Is the turbulence gonna escalate from here?"
"Probably not Joe. Hey, haven't you been on loads of planes before? We've gone on trips before but you were okay."
"That's cuz I took sleeping pills while I was on the plane so I'd sleep through it all."
"Sleeping Pills? You sissy."
"I'm not a sissy!"
"I beg to differ."
***
*Joe's POV*
I laid in the hammock hanging in balcony of our hotel room. Almost every building in Santorini was white. It was an amazing sight. We had a perfect view of the turquoise ocean, or sea, or whatever it was. There were sailboats scattered allover the body of water, and many more lined up at the harbor. Sadie was getting changed into something more loose since it was a hot day out. We were planning on going out for lunch. We had no idea what time it was, but nonetheless we were hungry.
"Joe, in this brochure it said something about a restaurant named 'Alessandro's.' It sounds pretty good. You wanna go there?"
"Sure. Then later can we go swimming in that water? It looks so nice."
"Joe that's the harbor. You can't swim there. But we can swim at the beach later."
"Alright. Sounds good."
"Well I'm all ready to go. Are you gonna put a shirt on or are you gonna stay like that?"
"Uh, I guess I'll stay like this. Wait, maybe they have a shirt policy."
"I don't know. Just wear a loose button-up shirt or something. Then you can unbutton it later if it gets too hot."
"Good idea," I said, grabbing my boater off the floor and placing it on my head. I went over to the closet where my clothes had been hung, and grabbed a shirt. I went over to the door and slipped my sandals on, while Sadie unlocked the door to our room and waited in the doorway for me. We walked out of the suite and left the building, heading towards our restaurant of choice.
Once Sadie and I had arrived at the drugstore, we stepped out of the car and walked inside. I held Sadie's hand while we went inside. We are what Sadie's Dad calls, 'Touchy Feely and Weird.' So what if we hold hands a lot. Even when we're sleeping. That's not weird right?
We made our way inside and went over to the aisle with lotions and whatnot. Sadie looked around for SPF 25, while I noticed someone behind us. I turned around, and a guy around 30 years old was behind us with a camera and a tape recorder.
"Uh, can I help you?" I asked him as he snapped a photo. I didn't mind paparazzi, but there was a time and a place. Now wasn't a good time. I was tired.
"Yes, is it true that you and Sadie are expecting a child?" He asked.
Oh shit. Word must have gotten out. Sadie didn't feel like being on the cover of all the tabloids. Once, Sadie and I had an argument on out back porch, and someone snapped photos. The photos were plastered everywhere. The fight wasn't even that big. The magazines made it look big though. There were headlines saying that it was over between us. My mom even called us asking if everything was okay.
"Who claimed we were?" I asked. Sadie turned around and faced the man behind us. She sighed, but put on her game face.
"Word has leaked out from unmentionable sources that you are expecting in April. Is this true? Do you have any comments?" Said the man, turning his tape recorder on.
"No, we have no comments. Have a good day," said Sadie, picking up a bottle of sunscreen, and a tub of her favourite vanilla body butter.
We went over to the cashier and Sadie paid for her lotions. We went out before someone else could come after us. As we walked out there were already a couple people around us with cameras. Sadie and I just kept our mouths shut and slid into the jaguar. We drove away, breathing a sigh of relief.
"So who do you think said something?" I asked.
"Wow uh, I really don't know. Someone at the wedding may have overheard. Or maybe Joanie told another person. I don't really care though. The public will find out for sure eventually."
"Yeah. You're right."
We continued to drive as the Who's 'Teenage Wasteland' played. After an approximate 10 minutes I spoke up again as we got closer to the electronics store where we got our last camera.
"Why don't we just tell them that we're expecting now? I mean, we can just get it over with I guess."
"The later we tell them the better," Said answered. "The later we tell them, the less they'll stalk us. If we tell them earlier on they'll swarm us now, and for the next the next year. Well, that's just what I think. I mean, you remember that time someone snapped photos of us having a minor argument, and we were stalked so much that we hid out of the public eye for two weeks, and that ended up in accusations that we had broken up. Those photographers are sick minded, and it's best if we avoid them at all costs for now."
Damn she's intelligent. That never occurred to me. Well, like she said before. They'll know eventually.
***
*Sadie's POV*
I sat in my seat next to the window, holding Joe's hand. He wasn't exactly fond of planes. I loved planes. I always watched out the window as the plane lifted off.
And that time was now. I was watching the ground get farther and farther away. I always found this so entertaining. I glanced over at Joe, who had his eyes closed and his head on my shoulder. He definitely wasn't asleep. He was just trying to tune out everything around him. There was no way he could fall asleep during liftoff. He always falls asleep while we're in midair though. It's kind of funny how he always gets scared. I know that sounds mean though...
"You okay Joe?" I asked, trying not to laugh. I never really understood what was so scary about planes. More people die in car crashes than in plane crashes. More people die from getting hit in the head with a coconut than in plane crashes. That's an actual fact y'know.
"Yeah yeah I'm fine I'm fine I'm calm I'm just resting I'm okay." He said quickly.
"Alright. It won't be long till the plane reaches the right height and straightens its path and stuff. It only takes a couple minutes. Don't worry."
"Yeah I know it only takes a minute. What why would I worry I'm fine I just don't like planes I'm not worrying I'm not I mean it."
"Okay Joe you're not worrying."
"I'm not."
"Okay."
Joe sighed and pulled up his blanket. Yes, Joe brings his cashmere blankie with him on planes. He also brings his memory foam pillow, sleeping mask and his stress ball. Only on planes have I ever seen him get so nervous. Man, I can only imagine what it'll be like in the delivery room when our kids are being born. Yeesh. He'd probably faint.
As I had said before, the plane evened out, and the flight attendants told us that we could now turn our electronics on, and unbuckle our seatbelts. Joe straightened up and pulled out his notepad, as I got my laptop out. I was seriously bored already, so I just signed on to myspace. Myspace rocks, cuz I can just announce stuff there. I don't need to set up a press conference or whatever like most celebrities do. Wait, ew! I just referred to myself as a celebrity. I much rather like to call myself a 'favoured personality.'
I started a new journal entry and started to type. I always liked reading the comments people had. The people who comment think I'm too busy to read them, which isn't the case. I'm not saying I'm not busy; I just like wasting time on the computer. Plus, I love hearing what people have to say about what I do and what they like. Their opinions give me ideas for stuff. Like, what they like about my previous lines, and what they hate. I post pictures of my line after a show so people who didn't go can see, and I usually get some good feedback.
'Hey earthlings,
I'm on a plane to a little secret hideout with dear old Joe. He's not a plane person. I have a few photos of stuff from my new line if you guys haven't seen them yet. I posted them around 3 days ago. Well, that's all I have to report for now. Wait... actually that's a lie. I also had a photo shoot for my new line, and I had an interview with Vogue. The issue will be out in late November or early December. Well, s'all for now! Ciao earthlings.
-Sadie W
PS: I've been taking note of some of your comments for my next season. Fewer rhinestones, more leather. Gotcha.'
I submitted the entry, and then turned my computer off because the flight attendant was taking drink orders.
"Can I get you anything to drink, or anything from the duty free catalogue?" The woman asked, holding firmly onto the drink cart.
Joe thought about it for a second, and then made up his mind.
"I'll have a glass of Clamato and a tub of jelly beans."
"Alright sir. And for you miss?"
"Uh, I'll have an orange juice please. See Joe? I say please." I joked, poking Joe in the arm, causing Joe and the flight attendant to laugh.
The flight attendant poured our drinks and set them on the little table thingies in front of us, and grabbed a tub of jellybeans for Joe.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Would you each like a pair of headphones to watch the flight movie? Our feature films tonight are Harry Potter 8, Confessions of the Sisterhood of the Drama Queens, and Harvey the Wonderbug."
Wow. Now don't those just sound dandy. Well, I have nothing against Harry P, but seriously. Eight? I think it's time to find a new idea for a movie Spielberg. I mean it.
"Um... no thanks. I'm sleeping through this flight." I said. Joe nodded in agreement. It was a night flight, and we would be landing in some city in Greece at 6:30 am. Then we would take a boat ride to Santorini, find our hotel, etcetera.
"Alright. Just holler if you need anything. Well, don't holler but, you know what I mean." The flight attendant said.
"Okay." I said, as Joe and I reclined our seats simultaneously. Joe pulled up his blanket and rested his head on his little pillow. I laughed to myself, causing Joe to look at me with a 'What's so funny?' message coming across quite clearly. I rolled my eyes, still laughing, and turned over so I could watch outside. Flying at night is so neat. The lights in the plane dimmed, and everyone who was reading turned their book lights on. I looked at all the lights below the airplane, and eventually drifted of to sleep.
***
When I woke up, it was 4:00. I had been asleep for a long time. I looked over at Joe, who was picking away at the jellybeans he had bought before. He noticed I was up, and explained what he was doing.
"I only like some of the jellybeans. They're those gourmet ones. The ones I don't like, I put back in the can. The ones that taste like fruit, I put in my empty drink cup. The ones that are sweet like chocolate or coconut, I put in my pile."
"Joe...may I ask why?"
"Well I'm kind of bored. I couldn't sleep, so I had some coffee, and I ate my beans. But I didn't like it when I ate a fruit one, then a sweet one, and then a gross one. Cuz then all the flavors left over in my mouth would be a gross mix."
"Joe?"
"Yup?"
"How long have you been trying to occupy yourself exactly?"
"Well, I don't really know precisely how long. Around 45 minutes after you fell asleep, and I realized I couldn't sleep on the plane because I was flying tens of thousands of feet above the ground, I decided to get headphones and watch Confessions of the Sisterhood of the Drama Queens, which I think I've seen before. I had a couple cups of coffee, did a celebrity crossword, played a game of Sudoku, and... I cheated when I played that. I'm not very good at it. Then I opened my tub of jellybeans. I ate some, and then I put a hole bunch in my mouth, and they were different flavors, and-"
"Joe...I told you to bring a book incase you got bored."
"I don't like reading."
"But you like cheating at Sudoku and sorting novelty candies?"
Joe was silent for a second, and then answered.
"Not really. I just don't like gross aftertastes. Thus, I'm saving myself the trouble by sorting my beans."
"Sorting your beans?"
"Yeah I...wait was that supposed to sound like an implication of something sexual?"
"Maybe."
Joe looked behind his seat at the couple behind us, who looked absolutely bewildered. They quickly looked away to make it look like they weren't listening to our conversation.
Joe looked back at me and stifled a laugh. I bit my finger, trying not to make noise since people were sleeping around us.
"We aren't weird, are we Sadie?" Joe asked me.
"Us? Weird? Absolutely."
The next couple hours practically flew by, since Joe and I had ordered loads of drinks. We were kind of high on orange juice, so to say. Joe and I were giggling in our seats, amused by all the really sophisticated, plain people sitting in their seats with totally straight faces. Ah, the joys of flying in first class. There were always a couple people there with sticks up their asses.
"Ladies and Gentleman, please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts as we are preparing to land. We may experience some turbulence so please stay calm."
Joe turned to me worriedly.
"Turbulence? I don't know what that means what does it mean?"
"It just means that we're gonna hit some wind or something, and the plane will bounce a bit and stuff. It's no biggie. We'll land just fine Joe."
"Are you sure?"
"Joe I've been on a plane before and there's been some crazy turbulence. Everyone was fine."
"O-Okay. So I shouldn't worry?"
"Right."
BUMP.
Joe jumped in his seat and bit his lip.
BUMP.
He turned to me nervously.
"Is the turbulence gonna escalate from here?"
"Probably not Joe. Hey, haven't you been on loads of planes before? We've gone on trips before but you were okay."
"That's cuz I took sleeping pills while I was on the plane so I'd sleep through it all."
"Sleeping Pills? You sissy."
"I'm not a sissy!"
"I beg to differ."
***
*Joe's POV*
I laid in the hammock hanging in balcony of our hotel room. Almost every building in Santorini was white. It was an amazing sight. We had a perfect view of the turquoise ocean, or sea, or whatever it was. There were sailboats scattered allover the body of water, and many more lined up at the harbor. Sadie was getting changed into something more loose since it was a hot day out. We were planning on going out for lunch. We had no idea what time it was, but nonetheless we were hungry.
"Joe, in this brochure it said something about a restaurant named 'Alessandro's.' It sounds pretty good. You wanna go there?"
"Sure. Then later can we go swimming in that water? It looks so nice."
"Joe that's the harbor. You can't swim there. But we can swim at the beach later."
"Alright. Sounds good."
"Well I'm all ready to go. Are you gonna put a shirt on or are you gonna stay like that?"
"Uh, I guess I'll stay like this. Wait, maybe they have a shirt policy."
"I don't know. Just wear a loose button-up shirt or something. Then you can unbutton it later if it gets too hot."
"Good idea," I said, grabbing my boater off the floor and placing it on my head. I went over to the closet where my clothes had been hung, and grabbed a shirt. I went over to the door and slipped my sandals on, while Sadie unlocked the door to our room and waited in the doorway for me. We walked out of the suite and left the building, heading towards our restaurant of choice.
