Christmas Lights In The Middle of August, chapter 1
Bored, bored out of my fucking mind. Orphanages are boring, but I guess they aren't supposed to be fun. I need to get out of this hell hole, I can't stand just sitting here waiting for someone to adopt me. Who in their bloody right mind would want me? Nobody. I'll be stuck here forever, I'll be alone without a family forever. I don't care, I've always been alone; ever since mom left with Lilly I've been alone. No one wants me, my own father doesn't even want me. I have no home, I mean, you can't call an orphanage a home. A home is a place where you should feel loved and safe, but I don't feel either of those things here.
I'm empty, but that's fine by me. If I feel empty then I can't feel pain, right?
These were the lonely thoughts of a young man on a rainy Sunday afternoon. He pulled back the red curtain that covered the window pane that showed him a glimpse of the outside world. It was the same old view he stared at day after day; it never changed. He longed to venture past this tiny view of the world, he longed to be set free to travel from state to state and from country to country. This boy planned to see every sight he could before the day he died.
In books from the less than impressive library, that was located right in the orphanage, he read of people who had explored the jungles of South America, discovered the pyramids of Egypt, and brought down the Berlin wall in Germany. All these stories fascinated the boy, he wanted to go see these things for himself though; reading about them was not enough.
The orphanage that this boy was placed in was not far away from the home that he was taken from. The name of the place where he now lived was called St. John's Orphanage for Boys of Oakland, California. It was an all boy orphanage run by nuns that mainly contained boys whom had been abused at their home or abandoned by their families. It was a place that was full of sad and lonely souls who were simply waiting to be bought by families who couldn't have children or wanted to add a boy to their family instead of a girl.
This boy was no different, he had a life story that many other boys in the orphanage had. Abandoned by his mother and older sister, Lilly, when he was only four, he had to protect himself from his crazed and abusive father. He was saved from all that madness at the age of nine when his old next-door neighbors heard him screaming for help. His father was arrested for years of child abuse and the boy was taken to St. John's to start his life over. But for him it seemed too late, how could he just forget his past? How could he let go of the last nine years of his life?
But times changed and the boy grew older. Now at the age of fifteen he longed to forget his past that was weighing him down. If he wasn't able to move on then he would never get out of Oakland. After reading stories of worldly adventures, he ached to discover the world for himself. His hopes and dreams of finding America and the rest of the universe were his ticket to leave his past behind and start anew.
I'm empty, but that's fine by me. If I feel empty then I can't feel pain, right?
These were the lonely thoughts of a young man on a rainy Sunday afternoon. He pulled back the red curtain that covered the window pane that showed him a glimpse of the outside world. It was the same old view he stared at day after day; it never changed. He longed to venture past this tiny view of the world, he longed to be set free to travel from state to state and from country to country. This boy planned to see every sight he could before the day he died.
In books from the less than impressive library, that was located right in the orphanage, he read of people who had explored the jungles of South America, discovered the pyramids of Egypt, and brought down the Berlin wall in Germany. All these stories fascinated the boy, he wanted to go see these things for himself though; reading about them was not enough.
The orphanage that this boy was placed in was not far away from the home that he was taken from. The name of the place where he now lived was called St. John's Orphanage for Boys of Oakland, California. It was an all boy orphanage run by nuns that mainly contained boys whom had been abused at their home or abandoned by their families. It was a place that was full of sad and lonely souls who were simply waiting to be bought by families who couldn't have children or wanted to add a boy to their family instead of a girl.
This boy was no different, he had a life story that many other boys in the orphanage had. Abandoned by his mother and older sister, Lilly, when he was only four, he had to protect himself from his crazed and abusive father. He was saved from all that madness at the age of nine when his old next-door neighbors heard him screaming for help. His father was arrested for years of child abuse and the boy was taken to St. John's to start his life over. But for him it seemed too late, how could he just forget his past? How could he let go of the last nine years of his life?
But times changed and the boy grew older. Now at the age of fifteen he longed to forget his past that was weighing him down. If he wasn't able to move on then he would never get out of Oakland. After reading stories of worldly adventures, he ached to discover the world for himself. His hopes and dreams of finding America and the rest of the universe were his ticket to leave his past behind and start anew.
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