A Fork Stuck In The Road., chapter 16
Billie flinched. Adie looked shocked. I could already tell that she was disappointed in me more than anything.
"You're p-pr-pregnant?" stuttered Billie.
We nodded. Adie cleared her throat. No one spoke.
"You're going to have an abortion, aren't you?" asked Adie.
I protectively placed my hands over my stomach.
"We haven't really talked about that yet," Tre said when he saw my arms wrap over my stomach. He placed his hands, which were previously rested upon my hips, over the top of my hands.
"You can't have the baby, you're only eighteen, and you've got school," said Billie.
I shook my head, confused.
"I don't want to kill it," I said weakly.
"Honey, it looks like you don't have any other choice," said Adrienne.
"Having a child would consume all your time; you'd have no social time, or school time, or work time or study time," said Billie.
"Billie's right, your whole life would change forever," Adie said, nodding furiously.
Tre rubbed my shoulders and whispered in my ear, "It's your decision, but I think you should listen to Billie and Adie,"
"I need some time to think about this," I said, and with that I walked out the door, and to the park to think.
I sat down on the bench. Tears formed in my eyes as a difficult choice lay before me. Memories flooded back to me, bad ones that I had hoped would never surface again.
I watched as a young girl and her mum played gaily together on the playground. The daughter was guiding their way through the playground while the mother followed awkwardly behind, a bit too tall to fit. They came to a point where the preschooler crawled through a tunnel, but the mother couldn't fit. I could hear them laughing away, innocently and oblivious to any wrong doings or calamitous way the world had.
I looked to my right, and was surprised to see Billie Joe sitting next to me.
"Hey," he said.
I smiled tightly at him and returned my gaze to the mother and daughter.
"You wanna talk?" he asked me.
"No," I said, not even looking at him.
He sighed deeply.
"Have you decided yet?"
"Is that what you came out here to ask?" I said, turning to him.
"No, no, I was just wondering," he said quickly.
[i] Well that shut him up,[i] I thought. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes. "I'm not sure if I can have an abortion," I said finally.
"I understand that it's a big step, physically and mentally, but-"
"No," I cut him off, "I mean, I'm not sure if I can physically [i]have[i] an abortion."
"What do you mean?"
I sighed. "When I was fourteen, I was raped, and I got pregnant. I had to have an abortion, but for some reason I didn't wake up after the abortion, and I was in a coma for a week. The doctors didn't know why, and they didn't know if I'd be able to have another abortion or not, because the after effects could be worse next time."
Billie gasped. "Wow...I'm so sorry, I never knew,"
"No one but mum and dad know," I said.
There was more silence, until Billie said, "You know what I love about you?"
"What?" I asked
"I love the fact that all this shit has happened to you, and you don't cut yourself or do anything stupid like that."
"I haven't had that many bad things happen to me."
"Are you kidding? Being raped twice, and one of them resulting in a coma sounds pretty bad to me."
I quickly turned my body toward him.
"You know about that?"
"Jay? Yeah, Tre told me,"
I nodded.
Our bodies were still facing each other. He placed a hand on my cheek, and hoarsely whispered, "I'm so sorry you have to go through shit like this."
Then he leaned in and softly brushed his lips against mine.
***
That night I spent tossing and turning. We were going to an abortion clinic in the morning to see whether I could abort the baby. I had ended up telling Adie and Tre about my previous abortion too.
The car ride took an hour, and was very quiet considering we had four people in the car. We got there, and walked into the clinic, which was renowned for its successful terminations. Tre held onto my hand tightly; I think he was just as nervous as I was, even though they weren't actually going to do the operation today.
Adie went up to the front desk and told the receptionist my name, and then we were sent into a large room which had four chairs oddly squashed around a large desk. Sitting behind the desk was a doctor whose name tag read 'Linda.' She smiled at us politely and gestured for us to sit down.
"What can I do for you today?" asked Linda.
"We want to know whether Emily can get an abortion or not," Billie said.
"And what has lead you to believe that she can't?" ask Linda.
They all looked at me. I sighed and told Linda why.
"Oh, I see," she said afterwards.
"Well, we'd need to take some blood tests to see if you're healthy, and if you are, then it should be okay to have another abortion."
So I was taken into a room where they would be giving me injections to draw out blood for the tests. I absolutely hated injections more than anything in the world. They let Tre into the room to so that he could comfort me while they were happening. I sat on his lap, shaking wildly. I looked the other way, while he stroked my hair, whispering things in my ear. I flinched in pain when the needle was stabbed into my arm. When it was all over, we were told to wait outside with Adie and Billie while they studied my blood, or whatever they did, and told us the results.
Linda came out fifteen minutes later with the results.
"Miss Armstrong," I had now legally changed my last name to Armstrong so as not to create confusion with mail and things like that, "I am pleased to say that there seems to be nothing wrong with you and you'll be able to have another abortion."
"You're p-pr-pregnant?" stuttered Billie.
We nodded. Adie cleared her throat. No one spoke.
"You're going to have an abortion, aren't you?" asked Adie.
I protectively placed my hands over my stomach.
"We haven't really talked about that yet," Tre said when he saw my arms wrap over my stomach. He placed his hands, which were previously rested upon my hips, over the top of my hands.
"You can't have the baby, you're only eighteen, and you've got school," said Billie.
I shook my head, confused.
"I don't want to kill it," I said weakly.
"Honey, it looks like you don't have any other choice," said Adrienne.
"Having a child would consume all your time; you'd have no social time, or school time, or work time or study time," said Billie.
"Billie's right, your whole life would change forever," Adie said, nodding furiously.
Tre rubbed my shoulders and whispered in my ear, "It's your decision, but I think you should listen to Billie and Adie,"
"I need some time to think about this," I said, and with that I walked out the door, and to the park to think.
I sat down on the bench. Tears formed in my eyes as a difficult choice lay before me. Memories flooded back to me, bad ones that I had hoped would never surface again.
I watched as a young girl and her mum played gaily together on the playground. The daughter was guiding their way through the playground while the mother followed awkwardly behind, a bit too tall to fit. They came to a point where the preschooler crawled through a tunnel, but the mother couldn't fit. I could hear them laughing away, innocently and oblivious to any wrong doings or calamitous way the world had.
I looked to my right, and was surprised to see Billie Joe sitting next to me.
"Hey," he said.
I smiled tightly at him and returned my gaze to the mother and daughter.
"You wanna talk?" he asked me.
"No," I said, not even looking at him.
He sighed deeply.
"Have you decided yet?"
"Is that what you came out here to ask?" I said, turning to him.
"No, no, I was just wondering," he said quickly.
[i] Well that shut him up,[i] I thought. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes. "I'm not sure if I can have an abortion," I said finally.
"I understand that it's a big step, physically and mentally, but-"
"No," I cut him off, "I mean, I'm not sure if I can physically [i]have[i] an abortion."
"What do you mean?"
I sighed. "When I was fourteen, I was raped, and I got pregnant. I had to have an abortion, but for some reason I didn't wake up after the abortion, and I was in a coma for a week. The doctors didn't know why, and they didn't know if I'd be able to have another abortion or not, because the after effects could be worse next time."
Billie gasped. "Wow...I'm so sorry, I never knew,"
"No one but mum and dad know," I said.
There was more silence, until Billie said, "You know what I love about you?"
"What?" I asked
"I love the fact that all this shit has happened to you, and you don't cut yourself or do anything stupid like that."
"I haven't had that many bad things happen to me."
"Are you kidding? Being raped twice, and one of them resulting in a coma sounds pretty bad to me."
I quickly turned my body toward him.
"You know about that?"
"Jay? Yeah, Tre told me,"
I nodded.
Our bodies were still facing each other. He placed a hand on my cheek, and hoarsely whispered, "I'm so sorry you have to go through shit like this."
Then he leaned in and softly brushed his lips against mine.
***
That night I spent tossing and turning. We were going to an abortion clinic in the morning to see whether I could abort the baby. I had ended up telling Adie and Tre about my previous abortion too.
The car ride took an hour, and was very quiet considering we had four people in the car. We got there, and walked into the clinic, which was renowned for its successful terminations. Tre held onto my hand tightly; I think he was just as nervous as I was, even though they weren't actually going to do the operation today.
Adie went up to the front desk and told the receptionist my name, and then we were sent into a large room which had four chairs oddly squashed around a large desk. Sitting behind the desk was a doctor whose name tag read 'Linda.' She smiled at us politely and gestured for us to sit down.
"What can I do for you today?" asked Linda.
"We want to know whether Emily can get an abortion or not," Billie said.
"And what has lead you to believe that she can't?" ask Linda.
They all looked at me. I sighed and told Linda why.
"Oh, I see," she said afterwards.
"Well, we'd need to take some blood tests to see if you're healthy, and if you are, then it should be okay to have another abortion."
So I was taken into a room where they would be giving me injections to draw out blood for the tests. I absolutely hated injections more than anything in the world. They let Tre into the room to so that he could comfort me while they were happening. I sat on his lap, shaking wildly. I looked the other way, while he stroked my hair, whispering things in my ear. I flinched in pain when the needle was stabbed into my arm. When it was all over, we were told to wait outside with Adie and Billie while they studied my blood, or whatever they did, and told us the results.
Linda came out fifteen minutes later with the results.
"Miss Armstrong," I had now legally changed my last name to Armstrong so as not to create confusion with mail and things like that, "I am pleased to say that there seems to be nothing wrong with you and you'll be able to have another abortion."
