Dancing On Thorns, chapter 2
I'm not really sure for how long I just stared at the ceiling. I didn't really know for how long I had let the silent tears pour.
Poor, poor Nikki. How else could I express it? Not poor me. Just... poor Nikki.
For two long weeks, she had known. And I hadn't.
For two weeks, she had been hospitalized.
What was right to think in this situation? What was the wrong actions?
I took a deep breath. Pulled my fingers through my shoulder-long, brown hair and sighed.
Or should I scream?
Roar it out and then call Nikki to see if it was all just a nightmare?
I closed my eyes. I saw Nikki laughing that special shrill laughter she had. No pain in her voice or eyes.
Nothing had happened, and things were what they used to be.
Oh Nikki. Poor, poor Nikki.
"Tina!" My mother's call from downstairs woke me up from the wonderful world of fantasy. "Tina, dinner is ready!"
I opened my eyes again. Stared at the ceiling, as though as I wasn't sure if I wanted to go down and eat.
I wiped the last tear and dragged my, heavier than ever, legs out of bed and started walking downstairs.
"Hello sweetie," mom beamed as I entered the room. "Are you hungry?"
"Hmmm," I mumbled and shrugged as settling down on one of the old chairs opposite to her.
"How was your day?" Mom protruded a plate with hamburgers. "Sorry I had no time making healthier food", she added.
Just typically her. Everywhere in the house, except for mine and my brother's room were shining clean and she usually never cooked something "unhealthy". A real victim for perfection.
"Today sucked!" I stated and spurted unusually much ketchup on the hamburger.
"Uh huh? Did you hear from Nikki?" mom asked, a little too kindly.
"Yes." Furiously, I put on the the top bread. "That's the thing."
I knew mom was waiting for me to continue. But I decided to see how long I could shut up about it. I took a bit of the food, staring straight on forwards.
"Well... what happened?"
I clenched my teeth. Do not cry, it pounded through my head. Do. Not. Cry.
"She's ill..." I said as steady as possible. "Cancer." I stated, staring angerily at the hamburger.
Mom gasped with her jaw slipping open.
"Cancer." I repeated. I didn't know why.
Maybe just to taste the words. Maybe just to seem calm.
"How terrible!" mom yelled. "Oh my... Oh God... when did this happen?"
"She has been hospitalized for a week now." I felt how the hot tears burn in the corners of my eyes. Don't cry. For Nikki.
Mom walked up to the window. She looked deep in thought, scratching her cheek absently.
"Aren't you going to visit her? I'm sure she'd appreciate some crutch from you."
"Of course I will... Can I be there all week long?" I asked hopefully. "Please? I just want to be by her side!"
Mom raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
"What about school?"
School and education was always her number ones. Everything else afterwards.
"I can do it all there, in the hospital room." I activated the puppy dog eyes. No need to say 'please' as long as they are on. No need to speak at all.
"I'll call your headmaster," mom decided. She had a quick look over my shoulder, at the clock. "I think all you need now is food, and then some sleep. Don't bother about the dishes, I'll take it."
***
I didn't brush teeth or hair, just went to bed, feeling emptier than ever.
A new thought appeared in my mind.
Nikki is going to die.
It was just like a black hole opening underneath me.
I was doomed to fall. Forever. And ever. And ever.
I wasn't just scared, I was all horrorstruck.
Coward, I blamed myself. Just imagine how scared Nikki is!
I was out of tears once again. Had been crying for so many hours.
All that was left was just the litres of tears.
Poor, poor Nikki. How else could I express it? Not poor me. Just... poor Nikki.
For two long weeks, she had known. And I hadn't.
For two weeks, she had been hospitalized.
What was right to think in this situation? What was the wrong actions?
I took a deep breath. Pulled my fingers through my shoulder-long, brown hair and sighed.
Or should I scream?
Roar it out and then call Nikki to see if it was all just a nightmare?
I closed my eyes. I saw Nikki laughing that special shrill laughter she had. No pain in her voice or eyes.
Nothing had happened, and things were what they used to be.
Oh Nikki. Poor, poor Nikki.
"Tina!" My mother's call from downstairs woke me up from the wonderful world of fantasy. "Tina, dinner is ready!"
I opened my eyes again. Stared at the ceiling, as though as I wasn't sure if I wanted to go down and eat.
I wiped the last tear and dragged my, heavier than ever, legs out of bed and started walking downstairs.
"Hello sweetie," mom beamed as I entered the room. "Are you hungry?"
"Hmmm," I mumbled and shrugged as settling down on one of the old chairs opposite to her.
"How was your day?" Mom protruded a plate with hamburgers. "Sorry I had no time making healthier food", she added.
Just typically her. Everywhere in the house, except for mine and my brother's room were shining clean and she usually never cooked something "unhealthy". A real victim for perfection.
"Today sucked!" I stated and spurted unusually much ketchup on the hamburger.
"Uh huh? Did you hear from Nikki?" mom asked, a little too kindly.
"Yes." Furiously, I put on the the top bread. "That's the thing."
I knew mom was waiting for me to continue. But I decided to see how long I could shut up about it. I took a bit of the food, staring straight on forwards.
"Well... what happened?"
I clenched my teeth. Do not cry, it pounded through my head. Do. Not. Cry.
"She's ill..." I said as steady as possible. "Cancer." I stated, staring angerily at the hamburger.
Mom gasped with her jaw slipping open.
"Cancer." I repeated. I didn't know why.
Maybe just to taste the words. Maybe just to seem calm.
"How terrible!" mom yelled. "Oh my... Oh God... when did this happen?"
"She has been hospitalized for a week now." I felt how the hot tears burn in the corners of my eyes. Don't cry. For Nikki.
Mom walked up to the window. She looked deep in thought, scratching her cheek absently.
"Aren't you going to visit her? I'm sure she'd appreciate some crutch from you."
"Of course I will... Can I be there all week long?" I asked hopefully. "Please? I just want to be by her side!"
Mom raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
"What about school?"
School and education was always her number ones. Everything else afterwards.
"I can do it all there, in the hospital room." I activated the puppy dog eyes. No need to say 'please' as long as they are on. No need to speak at all.
"I'll call your headmaster," mom decided. She had a quick look over my shoulder, at the clock. "I think all you need now is food, and then some sleep. Don't bother about the dishes, I'll take it."
***
I didn't brush teeth or hair, just went to bed, feeling emptier than ever.
A new thought appeared in my mind.
Nikki is going to die.
It was just like a black hole opening underneath me.
I was doomed to fall. Forever. And ever. And ever.
I wasn't just scared, I was all horrorstruck.
Coward, I blamed myself. Just imagine how scared Nikki is!
I was out of tears once again. Had been crying for so many hours.
All that was left was just the litres of tears.
