Dancing On Thorns, chapter 3
It was with dead steps I went down the stairs that morning. I had never been so close to death.
"Hey Tiny", my brother smirked as I settled down around the kitchen table.
"Morning Moose," I replied, starting to pull on a pair of plain, black socks. "Did mom leave a message?"
Moose - or Steven as my brother is called for real, looked wondering.
"Uhm? Are you expecting something?"
"Nah..." I mumbled.
I poured up some cereals and milk in a bowl. Chewed them mechanically.
"Are you going to watch us play tonight?" Moose changed the uncomfortable topic and handed me the cheese I helplessly pointed at.
Damn! I had totally forgot!
"Well...sure, yeah...'course...yep."
"That's not a proper sentence", Moose grinned. "Well you will probably not like the music anyway, huh?"
Moose was 19 and played in a band called The Deadbeat Blue Breakdowns. A long and kind of boring name, if you'd ask me. However, they played heavy metal and hardcore, as I wasn't into any kind of music, really.
"I'm fastidious", I confessed. "But the band is good."
"Hey..." Moose said afte ten silent seconds. "Are you okay, Tina?"
Tina. Those peculiar times he uses my real name, he's serious. Really serious.
I couldn't look into Moose's eyes.
"Tina?" Moose moved closer. "Tell me. I can see that something is wrong," he coaxed carefully.
"Can you give me a ride to the hospital?" I said, only telling him the half truth. I turned my head to him too quickly, he could easily see something was weird.
"What? What would you do there?"
I felt nervous, starting to rub my nails against each other. All that came from my throat were hicking sounds.
"Okay... sure", Moose smiled. He backed up and scratched his brown, ruffled hair. "I hope it's urgent."
***
Such a big building. Only stuffed with pain and sorrow.
All in one. Everything was gathered at the same place.
Doubting, and feeling small, I opened the huge door and went inside. It smelled so...yes, like hospitals usually smell. They smell loneliness.
I looked around, turned a little and then saw the reception. I almost rushed over to it. No queue. Just waiting for me to confess.
"Hello," said the black woman behind the desk. Her perfect teeth annoyed me. "Can I help you?"
"Um...yes", I began, not sure how to express it. How are you supposed to act at a hospital?
"Is it about a visit?" The smile on her shiny lips started to look plastic.
I nodded fervently, like a four-year-old wanting candy.
"Yes, I'm going to...or, I would like to visit my friend...Nikki."
Alexa, according to the label on her chest, nodded understandingly. She typed something on the keyboard infront of her. I bet her nails were long, because it rattled as we-all-know-what.
"Nikki, last name?" Alexa rumbled.
Immediately, a violent blushing spread over my face.
"Graham," I said in a weird tone, more panting than talking.
Alexa's fingers rattled on the keyboard once again.
"She's at room 105, third floor," she read from the computer screen.
"Thank you very much!" I gasped and smiled, shyly.
"You're welcome."
The door was just a little open. How do people at hospitals behave? Should I knock the door? Just walk in? I held my breath and listened after vital signs. Anyone in there? 1.2.3, I thought and knocked the door in stress.
"Come in", someone said silently. I breathed freely and opened the door.
The room was small and narrow, painted in a terrible yellow versus green color and smelled the old loneliness-smell.
"Tina, it's so nice to see you!" Nikki's mom Ana raised from the chair and pulled me into a hug. She beamed.
"Nice to see you too."
But it wasn't, really. It was just hard.
I had a look at what I first couldn't understand was Nikki. Her pale lips forced a smile. Anyone could tell she just held up a facade. The smile I tried to give her back turned into just a weird face.
"Nik," I mumbled and got on my knees beside her. Her eyes kept shifting their gaze, looking for something to rest on.
"How are you, hun?" I whispered, trying to stop staring at her close to bald head. The long brown and blue hair had fallen off.
"God damn cytotoxin, huh?" she tried to joke.
I nodded and stroke her shoulder absently.
Nikki's eyes glistened with tears. Determined, she bit her lip.
"Don't cry, everything's going to be alright," I tried to assure her, as tears burnt behind my eyelids as well.
We stared into each other's eyes. Shared feelings by only exchanging glances. Nikki's eyes showed just pain. Pain and sorrow, all that hospitals are about.
"Mom, will you let us be alone?" Nikki asked as loud as possible. She coughed again.
"Are you s--" She cut off herself and smiled shrewdly. "Alright, I should have understood that earlier." She winked and got herself out of the room.
As fast as the door was shut, Nikki burst into tears.
"Honey!" I whispered and sat down on her uncomfortable bed. I pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.
"Tina, can't you see", she sobbed into my army green shirt. "I'm going to die!"
My conscious punched me from inside. Yes, there was a possibility. But no, she can't die!
I held her on the length of an arm's space between.
"Listen to me now, Nikki." I waited for her to look into my eyes. "You're. Not. Going to. Die. You hear me?"
She kept cry, too apathetic for wiping the tears. I understood her, and put my arms around her again.
"You'll make it, trust me, Nikki."
"Hey Tiny", my brother smirked as I settled down around the kitchen table.
"Morning Moose," I replied, starting to pull on a pair of plain, black socks. "Did mom leave a message?"
Moose - or Steven as my brother is called for real, looked wondering.
"Uhm? Are you expecting something?"
"Nah..." I mumbled.
I poured up some cereals and milk in a bowl. Chewed them mechanically.
"Are you going to watch us play tonight?" Moose changed the uncomfortable topic and handed me the cheese I helplessly pointed at.
Damn! I had totally forgot!
"Well...sure, yeah...'course...yep."
"That's not a proper sentence", Moose grinned. "Well you will probably not like the music anyway, huh?"
Moose was 19 and played in a band called The Deadbeat Blue Breakdowns. A long and kind of boring name, if you'd ask me. However, they played heavy metal and hardcore, as I wasn't into any kind of music, really.
"I'm fastidious", I confessed. "But the band is good."
"Hey..." Moose said afte ten silent seconds. "Are you okay, Tina?"
Tina. Those peculiar times he uses my real name, he's serious. Really serious.
I couldn't look into Moose's eyes.
"Tina?" Moose moved closer. "Tell me. I can see that something is wrong," he coaxed carefully.
"Can you give me a ride to the hospital?" I said, only telling him the half truth. I turned my head to him too quickly, he could easily see something was weird.
"What? What would you do there?"
I felt nervous, starting to rub my nails against each other. All that came from my throat were hicking sounds.
"Okay... sure", Moose smiled. He backed up and scratched his brown, ruffled hair. "I hope it's urgent."
***
Such a big building. Only stuffed with pain and sorrow.
All in one. Everything was gathered at the same place.
Doubting, and feeling small, I opened the huge door and went inside. It smelled so...yes, like hospitals usually smell. They smell loneliness.
I looked around, turned a little and then saw the reception. I almost rushed over to it. No queue. Just waiting for me to confess.
"Hello," said the black woman behind the desk. Her perfect teeth annoyed me. "Can I help you?"
"Um...yes", I began, not sure how to express it. How are you supposed to act at a hospital?
"Is it about a visit?" The smile on her shiny lips started to look plastic.
I nodded fervently, like a four-year-old wanting candy.
"Yes, I'm going to...or, I would like to visit my friend...Nikki."
Alexa, according to the label on her chest, nodded understandingly. She typed something on the keyboard infront of her. I bet her nails were long, because it rattled as we-all-know-what.
"Nikki, last name?" Alexa rumbled.
Immediately, a violent blushing spread over my face.
"Graham," I said in a weird tone, more panting than talking.
Alexa's fingers rattled on the keyboard once again.
"She's at room 105, third floor," she read from the computer screen.
"Thank you very much!" I gasped and smiled, shyly.
"You're welcome."
The door was just a little open. How do people at hospitals behave? Should I knock the door? Just walk in? I held my breath and listened after vital signs. Anyone in there? 1.2.3, I thought and knocked the door in stress.
"Come in", someone said silently. I breathed freely and opened the door.
The room was small and narrow, painted in a terrible yellow versus green color and smelled the old loneliness-smell.
"Tina, it's so nice to see you!" Nikki's mom Ana raised from the chair and pulled me into a hug. She beamed.
"Nice to see you too."
But it wasn't, really. It was just hard.
I had a look at what I first couldn't understand was Nikki. Her pale lips forced a smile. Anyone could tell she just held up a facade. The smile I tried to give her back turned into just a weird face.
"Nik," I mumbled and got on my knees beside her. Her eyes kept shifting their gaze, looking for something to rest on.
"How are you, hun?" I whispered, trying to stop staring at her close to bald head. The long brown and blue hair had fallen off.
"God damn cytotoxin, huh?" she tried to joke.
I nodded and stroke her shoulder absently.
Nikki's eyes glistened with tears. Determined, she bit her lip.
"Don't cry, everything's going to be alright," I tried to assure her, as tears burnt behind my eyelids as well.
We stared into each other's eyes. Shared feelings by only exchanging glances. Nikki's eyes showed just pain. Pain and sorrow, all that hospitals are about.
"Mom, will you let us be alone?" Nikki asked as loud as possible. She coughed again.
"Are you s--" She cut off herself and smiled shrewdly. "Alright, I should have understood that earlier." She winked and got herself out of the room.
As fast as the door was shut, Nikki burst into tears.
"Honey!" I whispered and sat down on her uncomfortable bed. I pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.
"Tina, can't you see", she sobbed into my army green shirt. "I'm going to die!"
My conscious punched me from inside. Yes, there was a possibility. But no, she can't die!
I held her on the length of an arm's space between.
"Listen to me now, Nikki." I waited for her to look into my eyes. "You're. Not. Going to. Die. You hear me?"
She kept cry, too apathetic for wiping the tears. I understood her, and put my arms around her again.
"You'll make it, trust me, Nikki."
